I came in just at the end of Dreamer and MVP so I’ve missed whatever.
Hornswaggle vs. Matt Striker
I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, I laugh my ass off whenever he does his shtick. Horny starts out with tennis balls, and hits Matt in the, balls, with one. Then he moves onto a myriad of squirt guns. Props to Striker selling it believably This was your basic comedy match. And I know how people say it demeans these wrestlers to lose to Hornwaggle but how many people complain it demeans the business when guys like JR get a win over a guys like HHH? Almost none. Because it really doesn’t do shit. Striker still has his heat he came in with, which is all that matters. So before any of you get on that bandwagon, think about that.
Winner: Hornswaggle
Match Rating: **
The Big Show says he’s going to flatten Khali at Backalash. Can’t say I disagree.
Kid Rock has the next WWE theme. Why couldn’t it be a good song?
Chavo Guerrero w/Bam Nealey vs. Jamie Noble
Looks like Jamie is back to job duty. This is a prime example of a guy getting a program and it not getting over. The thing with Chuck was a chance for them both to do something and the fans really didn’t care, so they both go back to mediocrity as should happen because the fans obviously don’t care about them right now. Some mat wrestling to start off as Chavo grabs a side headlock. Noble turns it into a top wristlock and Chavo bridges out, but Noble turns it into an armbar. Chavo gets back into it by dropping Noble on the top rope throat first and then grabs ahold of a shoulder lock. Noble fights out of it but gets a knee to the gut and Chavo locks in a rear chin lock. Jamie finally gets some breathing room as he hits a belly to back. A few punches and an elbow leads to a northern lights suplex for a 2. Noble goes for a running knee lift but Chavo moves. Guerrero with the 2 amigos and Noble reverses the 3rd into a neckbreaker. Jamie went for a…sharpshooter? But Chavo gets out of it and stunguns Jamie on the top rope. Chavo then heads to the ropes and hits the frog splash for the win.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero
Match Rating: **1/2
After the match, Bam gives Jamie Noble a half nelson bomb. Nice move. I like to use the full nelson slam a lot in SD vs. Raw.
Mark Henry vs. The Big Show
The two monsters lock up but no one moves. Once again they lock up, and no one gets an advantage. Meezark hits a kick to the gut and then we get a headbutt battle. Big Show then opens up on Henry but the black ape locks in his bearhug. Show is about to break it and Henry throws him into the corner. Henry charge Show and gets a big boot. Khali comes out and we get a battle on the outside and Khali throws TBS into the stairs and then into the ring and Khali somehow manages to hit a Khali BOMB on the big man. I cant believe it. Even if he jumped, that’s raw power.
Winner: Big Show by DQ
Match Rating: *1/2
Cherry w/ Michelle McCool vs. Victoria w/ Natalia Neidhart
Cherry is hot. She plays the innocent girl very well. Victoria really works the heel aspect of it. She goes from a headlock takedown to just kicking her, to slapping Cherry in the face. Hahahaha. And Victoria botches a line “There’s no wres……theres no crying in wrestling!†Cherry gets throw into the turnbuckle and avoids a charging Victoria. Cherry gets a “school girl†but it doesn’t work. A boot to the head leads to a camel clutch on the roller queen. Cole is just brutal to Coach saying Victoria is better on commentary than Coach is. This match is really a glorified beating. As Michelle and Victoria are jaw jacking, Cherry rolls Victoria up from behind and gets the win! I honestly didn’t think that was going to happen. Seriously. I thought she was just gonna get pwned and then pinned.
Winner: Cherry
Match Rating: **
Ivan Drago er…..Vladimir Kozlov vs. Limey jobber
He kinda looks like a big Lance Storm. Stoic, very emotionless. He also has the moves of Taz, with all of the Judo throws and suplexes. He then finishes the kid off with Sting’s finisher. He’s got a little of it all, except ring music. Nice little squash match.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: *3/4
Batista vs. The Undertaker
The match starts out relatively even handed until Taker gets an advantage by working over the shoulder of The Animal. UT goes for Old School but Batista doesn’t let it get far. Batista starts to fight back into it but Taker and he hit each other with a clothesline and we get a double-down to go to commercial.
Back from commercial and we have the two big men throwing haymakers at each other. But the dead man says enough of that shit and goes back to working over the shoulder of Batista. Taker goes for Old School again but The Animal crotches UT on the top rope. Batista takes it to Taker but gets shoved off. Batista shows tenacity and goes back up there and nails a superplex but only gets a 2. Taker goes for Old School a 3rd time and finally drills it. Batista is hurting. Out to the floor the Animal goes and Taker works over Batista and hits his patented apron leg drop. Taker takes it back to the ring and goes for the tombstone but Batista gets out of it and hits a spear. The two men go back to throwing bombs and the Animal takes Taker out of the ring. The two brawl all over the outside and get counted out.
Winner: No one
Match Rating: **3/4
The guys continue to brawl on the outside but Edge and his chronies get involved and Taker/Batista start swinging at whoever moves near them, including each other. Chavo and his new bodyguard try to do a run in but its to no avail. Vickie comes out, pissed and says next week we get to see Batista/Taker 6. This time, its for the WHC. Nice twist. I would have preferred a gimmick match.
Overall this show was eh. Nowhere near BAD but nothing too spectacular. So there you have it, another SD in the books. Don’t forget to check out SPs Raw review. He hasn’t posted an ECW one this week. I guess he’s being a lazy mexirican. Anyway, go read his shit, he’s the man! That’s it for this week. Im out! And don’t forget, win if you can, lose if you must, but ALWAYS cheat!
Hornswaggle vs. Matt Striker
I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, I laugh my ass off whenever he does his shtick. Horny starts out with tennis balls, and hits Matt in the, balls, with one. Then he moves onto a myriad of squirt guns. Props to Striker selling it believably This was your basic comedy match. And I know how people say it demeans these wrestlers to lose to Hornwaggle but how many people complain it demeans the business when guys like JR get a win over a guys like HHH? Almost none. Because it really doesn’t do shit. Striker still has his heat he came in with, which is all that matters. So before any of you get on that bandwagon, think about that.
Winner: Hornswaggle
Match Rating: **
The Big Show says he’s going to flatten Khali at Backalash. Can’t say I disagree.
Kid Rock has the next WWE theme. Why couldn’t it be a good song?
Chavo Guerrero w/Bam Nealey vs. Jamie Noble
Looks like Jamie is back to job duty. This is a prime example of a guy getting a program and it not getting over. The thing with Chuck was a chance for them both to do something and the fans really didn’t care, so they both go back to mediocrity as should happen because the fans obviously don’t care about them right now. Some mat wrestling to start off as Chavo grabs a side headlock. Noble turns it into a top wristlock and Chavo bridges out, but Noble turns it into an armbar. Chavo gets back into it by dropping Noble on the top rope throat first and then grabs ahold of a shoulder lock. Noble fights out of it but gets a knee to the gut and Chavo locks in a rear chin lock. Jamie finally gets some breathing room as he hits a belly to back. A few punches and an elbow leads to a northern lights suplex for a 2. Noble goes for a running knee lift but Chavo moves. Guerrero with the 2 amigos and Noble reverses the 3rd into a neckbreaker. Jamie went for a…sharpshooter? But Chavo gets out of it and stunguns Jamie on the top rope. Chavo then heads to the ropes and hits the frog splash for the win.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero
Match Rating: **1/2
After the match, Bam gives Jamie Noble a half nelson bomb. Nice move. I like to use the full nelson slam a lot in SD vs. Raw.
Mark Henry vs. The Big Show
The two monsters lock up but no one moves. Once again they lock up, and no one gets an advantage. Meezark hits a kick to the gut and then we get a headbutt battle. Big Show then opens up on Henry but the black ape locks in his bearhug. Show is about to break it and Henry throws him into the corner. Henry charge Show and gets a big boot. Khali comes out and we get a battle on the outside and Khali throws TBS into the stairs and then into the ring and Khali somehow manages to hit a Khali BOMB on the big man. I cant believe it. Even if he jumped, that’s raw power.
Winner: Big Show by DQ
Match Rating: *1/2
Cherry w/ Michelle McCool vs. Victoria w/ Natalia Neidhart
Cherry is hot. She plays the innocent girl very well. Victoria really works the heel aspect of it. She goes from a headlock takedown to just kicking her, to slapping Cherry in the face. Hahahaha. And Victoria botches a line “There’s no wres……theres no crying in wrestling!†Cherry gets throw into the turnbuckle and avoids a charging Victoria. Cherry gets a “school girl†but it doesn’t work. A boot to the head leads to a camel clutch on the roller queen. Cole is just brutal to Coach saying Victoria is better on commentary than Coach is. This match is really a glorified beating. As Michelle and Victoria are jaw jacking, Cherry rolls Victoria up from behind and gets the win! I honestly didn’t think that was going to happen. Seriously. I thought she was just gonna get pwned and then pinned.
Winner: Cherry
Match Rating: **
Ivan Drago er…..Vladimir Kozlov vs. Limey jobber
He kinda looks like a big Lance Storm. Stoic, very emotionless. He also has the moves of Taz, with all of the Judo throws and suplexes. He then finishes the kid off with Sting’s finisher. He’s got a little of it all, except ring music. Nice little squash match.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: *3/4
Batista vs. The Undertaker
The match starts out relatively even handed until Taker gets an advantage by working over the shoulder of The Animal. UT goes for Old School but Batista doesn’t let it get far. Batista starts to fight back into it but Taker and he hit each other with a clothesline and we get a double-down to go to commercial.
Back from commercial and we have the two big men throwing haymakers at each other. But the dead man says enough of that shit and goes back to working over the shoulder of Batista. Taker goes for Old School again but The Animal crotches UT on the top rope. Batista takes it to Taker but gets shoved off. Batista shows tenacity and goes back up there and nails a superplex but only gets a 2. Taker goes for Old School a 3rd time and finally drills it. Batista is hurting. Out to the floor the Animal goes and Taker works over Batista and hits his patented apron leg drop. Taker takes it back to the ring and goes for the tombstone but Batista gets out of it and hits a spear. The two men go back to throwing bombs and the Animal takes Taker out of the ring. The two brawl all over the outside and get counted out.
Winner: No one
Match Rating: **3/4
The guys continue to brawl on the outside but Edge and his chronies get involved and Taker/Batista start swinging at whoever moves near them, including each other. Chavo and his new bodyguard try to do a run in but its to no avail. Vickie comes out, pissed and says next week we get to see Batista/Taker 6. This time, its for the WHC. Nice twist. I would have preferred a gimmick match.
Overall this show was eh. Nowhere near BAD but nothing too spectacular. So there you have it, another SD in the books. Don’t forget to check out SPs Raw review. He hasn’t posted an ECW one this week. I guess he’s being a lazy mexirican. Anyway, go read his shit, he’s the man! That’s it for this week. Im out! And don’t forget, win if you can, lose if you must, but ALWAYS cheat!
