"The greatest streak in the history of entertainment!" thought that was Aaron Rodgers not throwing interceptions at home, Aidsman?
anyway here's your Smackdown review, CMB... and oh boy was I angry that I wasn't by a computer when I heard Roman's music hit at the start of the show. You see, Smackdown always starts with some jabroni running out and yakking for 10 minutes about the current goings on and happinin's in da E. It's like your Facebook wall inside a wrestling ring, and it's sometimes entertaining and mostly pointless and I was PANICKED. OH GOD. ROMAN REIGNS. TEN MINUTES. MICROPHONE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE HORROR THE HORROR... then Lilian Garcia yelled out "The following contest..." and I jumped for joy. My prayers have been answered! Roman. Has. Been. Silenced... and whoa, a WWE show is starting with action! Be right back.
*runs to read the Book of Revelations*
...nope, that's not a sign of the apocalypse! :yay: Whoops, got it confused with the Blood Moon, which happens once every 33 years. Easy mistake.
Speaking of mistakes, how has Bo Dallas vs Roman Reigns not happened yet? I mean, it's such an obvious feud based on their catchphrases! When Bo was saying "The only way you're leaving Hell in a Cell is on a stretcher... Bolieve That!" I popped. Great stuff here...
I don't know how this happened... well, it's because so many of these damn matches are the same (right, Jacob Fox?) but Bo Dallas might be my favorite pure worker on the roster right now. :haha: I love the story of his matches being "Opponent never takes this goober seriously, leading to them making mistakes and letting Bo get the advantage before getting easily dispatched by an opponent that doesn't care". Lmao, I love it. In this week of Bo Dallas cluelessness, he offers Roman a handshake... and Roman takes it. (I expected him to irish whip and spear him)... but Roman just shakes his hand and BO goes for the kick... and Roman gets knocked back a bit... and throws his hair back and stares him down. AWESOME. Tries again. No effect. RUN BO RU... samoan drop.
Then... NO GOD DON'T DO IT! HE HAS A FAMILY!
...he actually spoke... and it wasn't half bad! :yay: He's still out here reading scripted bullshit, yeah, but if you're gonna make him say a bunch of bullshit, at least make it sound cool. "Sometimes the best way to deal with the devil is to ride straight into hell!". Boom. Thumbs up.
Oh crap, Bray Wyatt is going to cut a promo on Raw!
lease: I'm so scared! Not Bray talking! Anything but... well... okay
WHOA. Looking at the start of these spoilers, Roman actually DID cut a promo to start the show and it was so bad it was cut out!
1:
1:
1: THAT IS BEAUTIFUL!!! 10-15-15. A day that will live forever.
1:
Okay, onto the rest of the show: The United Kingdom (RIP Drew Mcintyre) vs Two Last Names was what it was... but I've gotta call out three guys here. The commentators. At the VERY beginning, they started talking about how "These teams are wanting to build momentum to get a shot at the tag team titles!" Great! This match has context now, and I therefore care about it. Thank you very much! It certainly beats the Raw formula of having three clueless bumbleheads not knowing what to say so JBL starts listing random foreign wrestlers, lol...
But here's the problem: King Barrett is dead. I mean, he is really dead. Dude is the ECW Zombie in 2015, and he now has THREE STRAIGHT VICTORIES. Why? Nobody will ever take Barrett seriously again, so... Why? This buried everyone involved. Neville got pinned by Barrett on Raw. Cesaro got pinned by Barrett on Smackdown, they announced afterwards that "Wow, Sheamus and Barrett could challenge for the tag team titles!" Sheamus buried, too, because you stuck the biggest loser on the roster into this clusterfuck of wasted talent and... This was sad to watch.
I love how Cosmic Wasteland is only a thing on Smackdown.
1: But lets be positive: A Cesaro/Stardust feud? I'm down with that, actually! Hell, do a 2 on 3 feud, since Neville as New Tyson Kidd is probably the best he can ever hope for. Booooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Summer Rae: "I know how to keep my professional life and personal life separate"... Congrats on winning the Roman Reigns award for having to read the most bullshit in one week!
Best parts of Smackdown: Dean Ambrose doing backstage segments. Guaranteed one a week and maybe two and they're always wonderful.
But I wonder why the one guy who can actually deliver crap material keeps having to deliver crap material?
Payday: Because you know you want to try the nuts that Paige likes.
Speaking of the raven haired lady... She was actually cool this week! Like, she popped up and apologized to Nattie and I zoned out, but her making the save at the end of the Bella Beatdown was cool and celebrating with her former friends was kinda nice... until Nattie was laid out backstage and you knew what was up (so did the characters, I'm sure). For one week, pretty solid storyline, and it gave us Charlotte vs Alicia which was also pretty solid. Beats the hell out of another 6-woman tag that's for sure
RYDER ON SMACKDOWN... Hey, he had a pretty solid performance, but this was exactly what it should have been (sadly for you Aids). Owens looks strong for a change, (his sarcastic meathook and Finish It! was as amazing as you'd dream of) and his running away looked like "an intelligent, hatable man" instead of "shitty writing" Thumbs up for this!
I couldn't believe the effort Rusev was throwing out there trying to get THIS STUPID MATCH over, also that Summer was trying to fast-count a win for Rusev in the beginning and changed her mind later, that was dumb... But in the end, thank goodness this feud is over (or at least when this match is done again on Raw because lolsmackdown), Ziggler actually came across intelligent for the first time in months by blowing her off, and even if this was done because of "backstage heat"... hell, this is where it was going anyway. May as well get it out of the way now, no?
Main event was pretty fun to watch because the Dudleys are and Smackdown is just a televised house show anyway, but...
Okay, we all nitpick and rip on Creative and stupid booking and...
@Prince Bálor we need to talk about the New Day. In the last three weeks...
-This week, they survived this DQ, but after a stupid Ambrose bump KO's him, they beat down the Dudleys and ended the show standing tall after pulling of the MIRACLE UPSET of "beating two singles stars who can't get along". Seriously, that never happens. Remember when The Dusts holding the tag titles lost to Cena and Ambrose who bickered throughout the match? No? Good, WWE doesn't want you to.
-Last week, they left Ziggler and Cena and the Dudleys laying to end Raw, then went backstage and gave Stephanie the middle finger for that promo earlier. Then they opened SD with the best promo ever and Big E pinned Dolph and everything was right with the world...
-The week before, HUSTLE LOYALTY BOOTY happened and Xavier answered the Cena Open Challenge, they stole a win over the Dudleys and CENA, then had the glorious backstage segment with Seth and... lets... just forget the way that Smackdown ended.
THAT IS NOW FIVE OUT OF SIX SEGMENTS THE NEW DAY LOOKED GOOD IN! Seriously, this never happens. They actually WANT to make these guys look strong. Usually it's win/loss/win/loss as everyone sits on their hands, but they know what they have in the 'Day and... :yay:
okay how did I write this much about Smackdown ffs
