Really been enjoying SD lately and this was the best one.
Here's a review intentionally loaded with negativity and sarcasm to try to get easy likes, because I'm a WWE babyface now apparently!
-It's so weird to be enjoying Kane. This guy has been everything I've hated about wrestling ever since I enjoyed this site. I HATE Kane. Any form of him, besides Team Hell No Kane, but this Kane run has been great! This is the biggest guilty pleasure I've had since that one earwormy ass Kesha song that we all still remember.
-Where the hell did this "We're unicorns!" crap from the New Day come from?
1: Sure, lets go with it!
-Believe it or not, the Dudleys vs the New Day secretly has good build. New Day keeps retaining by DQ, and now the Dudleys have figured out "Lets pull a Dixie Bomb on Xavier Woods, KO him, and have a fair match!" It's like the Vaudeheroes vs Two Dudes feud minus the suspense and plus a bunch of overexposure.
-I love how WWE doesn't even care about Smackdown in kayfabe either. "GRR KANE STOP MESSING THINGS UP! Your job is on the line... Oh you touched Rollins again? Now you're suspended from Raw! Not only do we not need you but we hate you and... yeah sure go ahead and run Smackdown w/e"
-Awww, Kane dropped the world's smallest trombone! Guarantee a gecko ran by and picked it up to be used in some car insurance commercials coming to a TV near you! (Also starring Kane)
-THE TOPES WIN A GAME! THE TOPES WIN A GAME! I love how after "Holy shit, Seth Rollins is on an 18 match losing streak or something whoa! And he's won 3 matches on Raw since the start of August! Worst Champion Ever!" starts trending here among wrestling fans, WWE decides to correct that and let Rollins get a couple of clean, decisive pinfall wins... against Cesaro.
-We got Stardust Section and Bella Section signs on this show but no Cesaro Section.
Speaking of Stardust Section, why should Cesaro get pissed at this? Figured he'd be like "Oh, so you really like that crowd sign idea? Cool!"
-WWE in 2015: Thanks to Rollins actually getting clean wins, I'm now less than 100% convinced he's retaining on Sunday. Which is great! Because if there's one thing I know watching this show, is that you get a bigger storyline push by being fired than you do winning championships. WHC Kane > Fired Kane
-Actually, I kinda take that back. The opening segment was fun. More segments of Kane whining to get his job back... never mind, that's totally BOO-TY
-I LOVE CHARLOTTE. Yes, Aids, that's right. This promo got me 110% behind Charlotte. Paige is whining about god knows what and wanting to apologize and she yelled "Stop!" and everyone just stopped. She talked about how she wants to put this petty jealousy and other stupid Divas' crap behind her. YES! YES! YES! I loved thi-dammit Nikki "come on" and go away. Please. *mutes*... Oh, so Charlotte is even ignoring these three blabbering aliens too and just challenging them to matches? Love this!
-Nikki vs Paige was blah, because Nikki got all the offense (although did a great job brutalizing the leg and it actually played into the finish this time), but WWE's storytelling is so weird sometimes. "What is Paige doing now?" is the top story in the division, and in recent history, Paige can't win a match. She takes the pins during the six-womans after losing five straight matches to Sasha and now gets dominated by Come On Nikki. Who cares what Paige is doing, she sucks!
-Positive note: Nikki ripping her shirt off was certainly giffable.
-Tyler Breeze's debut was pretty perfect. Go watch it. It made me very optimistic for his main roster run - probably a mistake.
-KEEP TEAM EURO TOGETHER! I'm kinda liking this Sheamus/Barrett pairing - especially their prematch promo where those two read bullshit and talked about kicking arse before Rusev was like "SHEAMUS AND BARRETT AND RUSEV TAKE YOU AND CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!!!!!!" Never change, RuRu. Please never change.
-Also great: Sheamus not being a singles wrestler anymore! Maybe these guys can win the tag titles, because "Tag Team Champion with Barrett in 2015" is undercard for life. Usually I'm firmly against pointless burials, but... There's never "no point" to burying Sheamus. The cryogenically frozen body of Walt Disney could be filled with ice cubes and buried in Antartica and he wouldn't be as cold as Sheamus.
-Speaking of giffable, someone NEEDS to find an image of Rusev barrelling the shit out of Barrett while Cara bounced off the ropes and LUNGED to spike himself on the barricade. Lol.
-"We need a new latin star, dammit! Bring Back Dorito!" -clueless Vince, who has NO idea about Kalisto. Or that Del Rio sucked hard.
-Damn, I felt a wave of nostalgia here, hearing intentionally stupid shitty promos being interrupted by "Feed Me!"... It's the return of the Ryback squash! Yayyyyyy!
-On this show, Charlotte cut a 10x better promo than Kevin Owens. Just wanted to type that out. Hell, Kane was more entertaining than Owens.
-The main event loss for the Red Day was to set up the thought that "No Xavier = Big trouble for the New Day!", to almost guarantee a face victory. Nice old school booking, but this is 2015 and the New Day are babyfaces and zero people want them to lose those belts.
-Also giffable: Kofi yelling HOPSCOTCH before a Boom Drop, before jumping in place. One one two one one... *ahem* Childish comedy and unicorn happiness aside I loved the main event. Watching the Shie will never get old, and their kind of "minor heat segment then COMPLETE CHAOS" tags never will, either. The retreat fakeout was a little lame and overdone but the rest of this was so much fun!
-Think they've figured out that Bray Wyatt is just like Roman. "See you in hell, Roman". Evil laugh. Fade to black. Boom. Best Wyatt promo ever.
