seX-Power
Guest
I'm back after a two week hiatus where family and friends got in the way of me reviewing. As usual I'll be writing this live and updating as I go along.
We are welcomed to Smackdown by JR and Grisham and shown we will get Punk/Mysterio and Jericho/Hardy. Jeff Hardy makes his entrance and we find he will face CM Punk at the Bash, unless we already knew that. Job Matthews interviews him and they show the Ladder match again, followed by CM Punk's cashing in, followed by the triple threat match on Raw. Pretty boring with all the video packages, and I don't think Hardy's said a thing so far. Jeff goes on about how he lives for the moment and gets his usual cheap pop, saying he will beat CM Punk at the Bash. Matthews introduces Punk to a reaction that is about 75% heat and 25% cheers, so he should probably be turning heel soon, which is a move I'm not in favour of. Punk cuts his face promo about obeying the rules and saying he takes offense to people who say he stole the title, really gay lines from Punk here, and he's getting heat for them. They trade some pussy words to hype their match and Matthews thanks them and gets the crowd to pop for Hardy again and now the heat is about 100% for Punk.
To be perfectly honest, this segment was a big let down. We had Job Matthews conducting the boring interview or whatever it was and then about 10 minutes of video packages we've seen before. All Hardy did was say things he says every week and gets cheap pops from tweenage girls, while Punk sucked up (yes homo) and got some heat for it. Only a CM heel turn could save this. **
Hardy's still in the ring after the break and BIG SEXY PYRO~! means that Chris Jericho is coming out, and he gets nice heat as usual. Hardy is in control to start off and JR is calling this the Main Event which leads me to believe there were some taping changes. Hardy misses the corner dropkick (how did he not see Jericho roll away?) and Jericho takes control with a nice suplex. Hardy breaks up a rest holds and takes control with some drop-kicks, before hitting the always bothced Whisper in the Wind. Both men are looking tired tonight and it's wearing the match down. Hardy gets his signature moves and goes for the Swanton (he actually needed to shout Swanton when climbing for the crowd to realise and cheer) but Jericho rolled away before dodging Jeff on the outside. Rey Mysterio (???) or a look-a-like in a row of the Rey midgets hits Jericho (with an impressive hurricanrana into the ringpost) on the outside and he gets counted out. That was weird. Hardy with a Twist of Fate and Swanton after the match.
I must say the ending confused me a little as there were three Rey's sitting next to each other and one just ran in and hit Jericho. Hardy making Chris look like a bitch after the match was also unnecessary. As for the action, it was quick and basically all Hardy who they let hit all his signature moves in basically the same order as always. The fact that both men looked tired and sloppy tonight didn't help either, and this is why SD guys shouldn't wrestle on Raw. **1/4
Layla, Maria and Eve are fighting backstage over hairspray and Ziggler walks in. The girls cant get his name right and Eve calls him Dick Ziggler. Dolph is @_@.
Is Layla a face now, or are they this ignorant of the Women's Division? *
Back from break, Ziggler makes his entrance to new music and then Khali follows with his IndiPop theme song. The bell rings for this singles bout and Ziggler can't evade the stationery Khali. Khali gets a big boot and a chop and boy, the big guy is really stretching his athletic capabilities tonight. Ziggler attacks the knees and hits a possibly botched leg drop. Ziggler grabs a chair and Khali kicks it into his face while the referee his distracted by Muttonchop Singh's protests. He sees Dolph down and Khali with the chair and awards Ziggler the DQ victory.
Pretty boring action but then again it is a Khali match. At least the ending was creative and I guess it furthers this feud. A clean, albeit probably flukey victory over Khali would do wonders for Dolph, who seems to be in the midst of a push that I have no problems with. *1/2
Back from commercial, we have the Raw Rebound and this is my toilet break. Yes, I'd rather watch commercials than the recap of the WWE's worst show. After 10 minutes of that, the seXican makes her entrance and is proving why she is the hottest diva in the WWE. God I love Melina's entrance, and now we'll get to see it on PPV as she's taking on Michelle McCool at the Bash for the Women's title. Alicia Fox makes her entrance to this weird music and her hair is wild, and she herself is hot as always. McCool is at ringside. There's a resthold about 10 seconds into the match that showcases Melina's flexibility. About 1 minute later Melina nails her finisher for the victory and celebrates, only to be attacked post-match by McCool. Michelle throws her into the announce table and cuts a promo about the Bash match and becoming the first dual-female champion, all while doing these weird crouching motions that hint towards her being constipated. Morrison vs Edge is next. SExEPIC!
Well the match was pretty short but not bad for what it had, showing that these divas deserve more time. Also, we'd seen the match before. McCool's promo was bad and she has a really bad voice and timing, and you can tell that she hasn't cut many promos in her time. *1/2
After another commercial, Edge has already made his entrance which is kinda lol. Edge got a jobber entrance! He cuts a promo on how he feels left out and it's a travesty that he's not in the Bash match. He wants his rematch, and believes himself to be above a match with Morrison. JoMo interrupts to a pop and makes his delicious entrance, and Edge cuts him down to call him a noob. Morrison verbally beats down Edge and makes fun of his Canadian accent and relationship with Vickie. Edge complains and JoMo says he'll give him something to complain about once he gets his face kicked in by the Tuesday Night Delight.
What? I'm pretty sure it's Friday. Anyway, Smackdown is great at giving young guys nice rubs and this was no exception. Morrison held his own on the mic with Edge and was improving, and if these two would feud I would wet myself. Imagine a ladder match at Summerslam between these two guys. Nice segment. ***
Now we get Edge vs Morrison after a break, and I am on the brink of jizz. The match is back and forth to begin and Grisham compares JoMo to a young Edge but JR likens him to HBK instead. The match is fairly Edge-heavy to start (as you would expect) but Morrison eventually makes a comeback with some dropkicks and then goes up top, only to be pulled down and be hung up on the ropes in a nice spot. We go through a commercial break and Edge is in control, focusing on the ribs. Morrison gets another comeback via dropkicks and then nails a nice inverted backbreaker and a sick knee to the face. Edge gets back in control through but Morrison nails a Pele kick to reverse the momentum. Edge dodges a Chuck Kick and locks in the Sharpshooter, but Morrison inevitably gets to the ropes and catches Edge in a cradle for a near fall. Morrison thinks Starship Pain but Edge crotches him and puts him in the tree of woe, but Morrison escapes and gets a roll up for a near fall in a great spot. Edge thinks Spear but JoMo leapfrogs it and nails the Chuck Kick for another great near fall. Morrison goes for the Moonlight Drive but it is countered into the Edgecution (which is sold very well) but JoMo kicks out and the crowd pops, before Edge kicks out of a DDT from Morrison. Edge dodges a top rope moves and finally ends the great match with a Spear.
Wow, this was phenomenal and I'm reviewing more harshly today (in case you didn't notice). Great reversals, lots of nice near falls and an array of spots planned out to perfection. JoMo got a great rub and any PPV match between these two in the future would be epic. TV Match of the Year, or at least very close. JR calls it a turning point for John Morrison, and I believe it is. ***3/4
We go to a break, and coming back are about to get Cryme Tyme/R-Truth taking on Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas/Ricky Ortiz in a 6 Man Tag Team match. I'll be honest and say I missed the opening minutes of this match having a wank (no not from watching wrestling >_>), but when I tune in the heels are in control. Heel Ortiz seems pretty shit with his new gay yellow trunks. The match is kinda clustered but it's understandable. Truth hits Shelton with that fucking unimpressive corkscrew forearm to win the match, and please, can't he go back to the Axe Kick?
From what I saw, this was pretty average, and a typical match to showcase guys that didn't get onto the card. They have nothing for any of these guys but it looks like they may be elevating Truth to the upper mid card or closer to the main event, and he may beat Jericho for the IC title soon. A Cryme Tyme/Truth/Eve stable would be pretty cool and give those guys something to do. As for the match, I've already forgotten about it. **
After yet another commercial, Rey Mysterio makes his entrance and is going to be cutting a promo. Oh goodee. He talks about his payback earlier in the night and says that it felt great. Apparently it isn't over and is challenging Jericho to a title match at the Bash. Apparently Rey wants the title; I had no idea. Jericho comes out and says that Rey already has his rematch, and little Mysterio fires back by saying he'd be champion if not for Jericho trying to unmask him. He calls Rey an addict, and Rey tells him to SHUT UP. Biatch. They exchange some more words and Rey talks about his mask and speaks in Mexicanese. Jericho challenges Rey to a mask v title match and the plucky midget accepts, and we should have a damn good match for the Bash in which should be the culmination of this feud. We go to commercial.
Alright promo, which puts over what should be the final match that these two have. Mysterio is just annoying on the mic and Jericho's promos are starting to tire me, but this was better than the opener for all the average that it was. **1/4
Back from break and I feel like breaking something (see wut I did there?). CM Punk makes his entrance to a majority of cheers so the crowd is confused and Jericho is on commentary btw, so expect him to have a hand in this match. Some shameless pandering (thanks Chris) to start the match, and the commentators don't seem to care about the match at hand as they're just talking to Jericho. Some homoerotic male-on-male slippery violence as we (give) head into break. Afterwards, it continues and I'm too tired to watch properly, all I can hear is Jericho putting himself over. They trade kicks and Mysterio nails a springboard crossbody and tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Punk escapes a 619 but then Rey hits a seated senton, only to be countered afterwards. Punk hits the knee lift but Rey reverses it into a 619 only for Punk to reverse it into a GTS only for Rey to reverse into a pin in a great near fall. Afterwards, Rey is sent into the ringpost by Jericho and almost gets counted out but Rey makes it back in time to a big pop. However, he eats a GTS and Punk gets the 1, 2, 3. Jeff Hardy runs out but Punk escapes him to heat.
Well this was a pretty good match and I would have liked a clean victory for CM Punk but with Jericho on commentary it was a matter of when not if. I sort of tuned out of this match but not because it was bad or anything, and in fact the part of the match I saw was impressively solid. Punk is over as a heel and a face, and I'm honestly confused. ***
Overall, this was a solid show and I'll give it a 3/5.
High Points:
1. John Morrison vs Edge and hopes of future matches
2. John Morrison's promo with Edge
3. The Main Event match with Punk and Mysterio
Low Points:
1. CM Punk's promo work and also his face/heel alignment
2. The ignorance of a Women's Division filled with potential
3. Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio's poor respective mic work
Talking points:
Do you think CM Punk should go with the crowd and turn heel or somehow remain face?
Do you think that an Edge/John Morrison program would be as epic as I think?
Do you see Rey Mysterio ever losing his mask in the WWE?
We are welcomed to Smackdown by JR and Grisham and shown we will get Punk/Mysterio and Jericho/Hardy. Jeff Hardy makes his entrance and we find he will face CM Punk at the Bash, unless we already knew that. Job Matthews interviews him and they show the Ladder match again, followed by CM Punk's cashing in, followed by the triple threat match on Raw. Pretty boring with all the video packages, and I don't think Hardy's said a thing so far. Jeff goes on about how he lives for the moment and gets his usual cheap pop, saying he will beat CM Punk at the Bash. Matthews introduces Punk to a reaction that is about 75% heat and 25% cheers, so he should probably be turning heel soon, which is a move I'm not in favour of. Punk cuts his face promo about obeying the rules and saying he takes offense to people who say he stole the title, really gay lines from Punk here, and he's getting heat for them. They trade some pussy words to hype their match and Matthews thanks them and gets the crowd to pop for Hardy again and now the heat is about 100% for Punk.
To be perfectly honest, this segment was a big let down. We had Job Matthews conducting the boring interview or whatever it was and then about 10 minutes of video packages we've seen before. All Hardy did was say things he says every week and gets cheap pops from tweenage girls, while Punk sucked up (yes homo) and got some heat for it. Only a CM heel turn could save this. **
Hardy's still in the ring after the break and BIG SEXY PYRO~! means that Chris Jericho is coming out, and he gets nice heat as usual. Hardy is in control to start off and JR is calling this the Main Event which leads me to believe there were some taping changes. Hardy misses the corner dropkick (how did he not see Jericho roll away?) and Jericho takes control with a nice suplex. Hardy breaks up a rest holds and takes control with some drop-kicks, before hitting the always bothced Whisper in the Wind. Both men are looking tired tonight and it's wearing the match down. Hardy gets his signature moves and goes for the Swanton (he actually needed to shout Swanton when climbing for the crowd to realise and cheer) but Jericho rolled away before dodging Jeff on the outside. Rey Mysterio (???) or a look-a-like in a row of the Rey midgets hits Jericho (with an impressive hurricanrana into the ringpost) on the outside and he gets counted out. That was weird. Hardy with a Twist of Fate and Swanton after the match.
I must say the ending confused me a little as there were three Rey's sitting next to each other and one just ran in and hit Jericho. Hardy making Chris look like a bitch after the match was also unnecessary. As for the action, it was quick and basically all Hardy who they let hit all his signature moves in basically the same order as always. The fact that both men looked tired and sloppy tonight didn't help either, and this is why SD guys shouldn't wrestle on Raw. **1/4
Layla, Maria and Eve are fighting backstage over hairspray and Ziggler walks in. The girls cant get his name right and Eve calls him Dick Ziggler. Dolph is @_@.
Is Layla a face now, or are they this ignorant of the Women's Division? *
Back from break, Ziggler makes his entrance to new music and then Khali follows with his IndiPop theme song. The bell rings for this singles bout and Ziggler can't evade the stationery Khali. Khali gets a big boot and a chop and boy, the big guy is really stretching his athletic capabilities tonight. Ziggler attacks the knees and hits a possibly botched leg drop. Ziggler grabs a chair and Khali kicks it into his face while the referee his distracted by Muttonchop Singh's protests. He sees Dolph down and Khali with the chair and awards Ziggler the DQ victory.
Pretty boring action but then again it is a Khali match. At least the ending was creative and I guess it furthers this feud. A clean, albeit probably flukey victory over Khali would do wonders for Dolph, who seems to be in the midst of a push that I have no problems with. *1/2
Back from commercial, we have the Raw Rebound and this is my toilet break. Yes, I'd rather watch commercials than the recap of the WWE's worst show. After 10 minutes of that, the seXican makes her entrance and is proving why she is the hottest diva in the WWE. God I love Melina's entrance, and now we'll get to see it on PPV as she's taking on Michelle McCool at the Bash for the Women's title. Alicia Fox makes her entrance to this weird music and her hair is wild, and she herself is hot as always. McCool is at ringside. There's a resthold about 10 seconds into the match that showcases Melina's flexibility. About 1 minute later Melina nails her finisher for the victory and celebrates, only to be attacked post-match by McCool. Michelle throws her into the announce table and cuts a promo about the Bash match and becoming the first dual-female champion, all while doing these weird crouching motions that hint towards her being constipated. Morrison vs Edge is next. SExEPIC!
Well the match was pretty short but not bad for what it had, showing that these divas deserve more time. Also, we'd seen the match before. McCool's promo was bad and she has a really bad voice and timing, and you can tell that she hasn't cut many promos in her time. *1/2
After another commercial, Edge has already made his entrance which is kinda lol. Edge got a jobber entrance! He cuts a promo on how he feels left out and it's a travesty that he's not in the Bash match. He wants his rematch, and believes himself to be above a match with Morrison. JoMo interrupts to a pop and makes his delicious entrance, and Edge cuts him down to call him a noob. Morrison verbally beats down Edge and makes fun of his Canadian accent and relationship with Vickie. Edge complains and JoMo says he'll give him something to complain about once he gets his face kicked in by the Tuesday Night Delight.
What? I'm pretty sure it's Friday. Anyway, Smackdown is great at giving young guys nice rubs and this was no exception. Morrison held his own on the mic with Edge and was improving, and if these two would feud I would wet myself. Imagine a ladder match at Summerslam between these two guys. Nice segment. ***
Now we get Edge vs Morrison after a break, and I am on the brink of jizz. The match is back and forth to begin and Grisham compares JoMo to a young Edge but JR likens him to HBK instead. The match is fairly Edge-heavy to start (as you would expect) but Morrison eventually makes a comeback with some dropkicks and then goes up top, only to be pulled down and be hung up on the ropes in a nice spot. We go through a commercial break and Edge is in control, focusing on the ribs. Morrison gets another comeback via dropkicks and then nails a nice inverted backbreaker and a sick knee to the face. Edge gets back in control through but Morrison nails a Pele kick to reverse the momentum. Edge dodges a Chuck Kick and locks in the Sharpshooter, but Morrison inevitably gets to the ropes and catches Edge in a cradle for a near fall. Morrison thinks Starship Pain but Edge crotches him and puts him in the tree of woe, but Morrison escapes and gets a roll up for a near fall in a great spot. Edge thinks Spear but JoMo leapfrogs it and nails the Chuck Kick for another great near fall. Morrison goes for the Moonlight Drive but it is countered into the Edgecution (which is sold very well) but JoMo kicks out and the crowd pops, before Edge kicks out of a DDT from Morrison. Edge dodges a top rope moves and finally ends the great match with a Spear.
Wow, this was phenomenal and I'm reviewing more harshly today (in case you didn't notice). Great reversals, lots of nice near falls and an array of spots planned out to perfection. JoMo got a great rub and any PPV match between these two in the future would be epic. TV Match of the Year, or at least very close. JR calls it a turning point for John Morrison, and I believe it is. ***3/4
We go to a break, and coming back are about to get Cryme Tyme/R-Truth taking on Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas/Ricky Ortiz in a 6 Man Tag Team match. I'll be honest and say I missed the opening minutes of this match having a wank (no not from watching wrestling >_>), but when I tune in the heels are in control. Heel Ortiz seems pretty shit with his new gay yellow trunks. The match is kinda clustered but it's understandable. Truth hits Shelton with that fucking unimpressive corkscrew forearm to win the match, and please, can't he go back to the Axe Kick?
From what I saw, this was pretty average, and a typical match to showcase guys that didn't get onto the card. They have nothing for any of these guys but it looks like they may be elevating Truth to the upper mid card or closer to the main event, and he may beat Jericho for the IC title soon. A Cryme Tyme/Truth/Eve stable would be pretty cool and give those guys something to do. As for the match, I've already forgotten about it. **
After yet another commercial, Rey Mysterio makes his entrance and is going to be cutting a promo. Oh goodee. He talks about his payback earlier in the night and says that it felt great. Apparently it isn't over and is challenging Jericho to a title match at the Bash. Apparently Rey wants the title; I had no idea. Jericho comes out and says that Rey already has his rematch, and little Mysterio fires back by saying he'd be champion if not for Jericho trying to unmask him. He calls Rey an addict, and Rey tells him to SHUT UP. Biatch. They exchange some more words and Rey talks about his mask and speaks in Mexicanese. Jericho challenges Rey to a mask v title match and the plucky midget accepts, and we should have a damn good match for the Bash in which should be the culmination of this feud. We go to commercial.
Alright promo, which puts over what should be the final match that these two have. Mysterio is just annoying on the mic and Jericho's promos are starting to tire me, but this was better than the opener for all the average that it was. **1/4
Back from break and I feel like breaking something (see wut I did there?). CM Punk makes his entrance to a majority of cheers so the crowd is confused and Jericho is on commentary btw, so expect him to have a hand in this match. Some shameless pandering (thanks Chris) to start the match, and the commentators don't seem to care about the match at hand as they're just talking to Jericho. Some homoerotic male-on-male slippery violence as we (give) head into break. Afterwards, it continues and I'm too tired to watch properly, all I can hear is Jericho putting himself over. They trade kicks and Mysterio nails a springboard crossbody and tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Punk escapes a 619 but then Rey hits a seated senton, only to be countered afterwards. Punk hits the knee lift but Rey reverses it into a 619 only for Punk to reverse it into a GTS only for Rey to reverse into a pin in a great near fall. Afterwards, Rey is sent into the ringpost by Jericho and almost gets counted out but Rey makes it back in time to a big pop. However, he eats a GTS and Punk gets the 1, 2, 3. Jeff Hardy runs out but Punk escapes him to heat.
Well this was a pretty good match and I would have liked a clean victory for CM Punk but with Jericho on commentary it was a matter of when not if. I sort of tuned out of this match but not because it was bad or anything, and in fact the part of the match I saw was impressively solid. Punk is over as a heel and a face, and I'm honestly confused. ***
Overall, this was a solid show and I'll give it a 3/5.
High Points:
1. John Morrison vs Edge and hopes of future matches
2. John Morrison's promo with Edge
3. The Main Event match with Punk and Mysterio
Low Points:
1. CM Punk's promo work and also his face/heel alignment
2. The ignorance of a Women's Division filled with potential
3. Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio's poor respective mic work
Talking points:
Do you think CM Punk should go with the crowd and turn heel or somehow remain face?
Do you think that an Edge/John Morrison program would be as epic as I think?
Do you see Rey Mysterio ever losing his mask in the WWE?
