Gregory Helms defeated Kid Kash, Jamie Noble, Paul London, Nunzio and Funaki to retain CW Title. This wasn’t too dissimilar to other multi-man ppv cruiserweight title matches of the past, but I liked the fact that it wasn’t an elimination match. This was due to the fact that after the opening mish-mash, the bout settled down well enough & gave the combatants the necessary room to put together some fine sequences & some great spots to get the crowd involved. London hit an amazing shooting star press to the outside (with great elevation), while it was great to hear Noble’s modified gut-buster get such a positive reaction. The result was a little predictable as soon as Helms was announced for the match. It’s just a shame he still continues using the shining wizard as his finisher, as it screams anything but the cruiserweight division. Hopefully, this title win simply sends him over to SmackDown where he belongs. Nothing super special, but a sufficient 8 minute opener & I’ve always been a sucker for these bouts. ***
Mickie James defeated Ashley Masaro. Nice start to the bout with Ashley frustrating Mickie with some nice offense (although the emphasis & impact of her offense is terrible). It didn’t take too long for Mickie to get on top though, and she told a decent story in more attempting to hurt (rather than beat) her opponent. She really does play her character well. Unfortunately, the bookers decided that Mickie dominating the remainder of the bout wasn’t the way to go & what followed was some of the worst wrestling we’ve seen. Ashley obviously has no fitness/stamina, as she was tired by the 5 minute mark & seemed to completely forget what she had to do next. She has no place wrestling. Simple as that! Half of the bout was actually decent, but I just can’t pass this. Especially since Mickie won at the 8 minute mark with a botched power-bomb type of move. 1/2 *
Boogeyman beat JBL. Boogey attempts to seduce Jillian Hall with a worm kiss before the match gets going! The distraction provides JBL the opportunity to take control early on & dominate with his brawling offense. Then Boogey hits his 1 move (the pumphandle slam) out of nowhere & scores the pinfall at the 2 minute mark! Hardly a wrestling match that was disappointingly unfunny & unentertaining. JBL didn’t deserve to be squashed like this. ¼ *
Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble. Our first 2 entrants were Triple H & Rey Mysterio (2 of the top 4 favorites to win the match). Nice choices to get the crowd hyped up & a real nice touch for Rey to come out in a low-rider. The 2 have a few nice sequences while eliminating Simon Dean & Psichosis along the way. Ric Flair enters at #5 adding the first historical feud to the mix, but it disappointingly ends too soon with Flair’s elimination. To continue the theme though, The Big Show enters next & business well & truly picks up, especially with Kane & Lashley following soon in the first 10. Triple H adds to his eliminations by eliminating the tag-team champions in one hit.
Following the loss of those big names (& big men), things settled down with the eliminations slowing down. Tatanka was predictably one of the surprise entrants at #15 & did a decent job. Eugene, was a little more unpredictable at #18. RVD got the crowd pumped up as the 20th entrant (although he looked very rusty to me). The other mystery entrant was Goldust, who came in at #29. There were very few eliminations throughout the middle portions of the match, and it wasn’t until Randy Orton (who entered last) eliminated He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named pretty much upon entry, that things began to get moving. Following a steady stream of eliminations, Vince McMahon comes out to distract HBK for Shane McMahon to sneak up from behind & eliminate him! The final 5 is then left at Triple H, Rey, Carlito, RVD & Orton. RVD predictably eliminates Carlito as the 2 ex-tag teams then go to work against each other. Rey & RVD pull off some excellent double-team moves to excite the crowd, before RVD gets eliminated, leaving Rey to battle the odds. He gets the prized elimination of Triple H & to say that got the crowd going crazy is an understatement! Rey then eliminates the legend-killer to the pleasure of the crowd, lasting 62 minutes from coast to coast! I would have preferred a longer closing 1 on 1 sequence, but it didn’t take away a great deal from the fairytale win. Not one of the greatest rumbles ever, but it wasn’t the most conventionally structured either. I can see what the WWE were going for with the structure, but they went a little over the top with a few too many big names not lasting long enough (Flair, Booker, Kane, Big Show, for example). But I won’t be too harsh on that, as after 19 years, a little variation can’t hurt. Great fun as per usual, and the fairytale win & nice Rey/RVD team sequence helped it out enormously. *** 1/2
John Cena defeated Edge to win the Raw World Title. I suppose I should mention that Cena made his entrance via some strange ramp that lowered from the ceiling. It was pretty cool, but didn’t help his crowd reaction, that was quite mixed. In fact, this bout was badly placed after the Rumble match, as the Miami crowd that had been hot all night, seemed almost confused here. It didn’t help the match quality out at all. Cena started off well, but a nice spear into the steel ring steps swung the momentum back into Edge’s favor. A nice leg lariat & missile dropkick continued the impressive offense from Edge, and while Cena did make a comeback, the champion controlled the majority of the match. A nice rear chokehold with a leg grapevine provided some variation to the mid-match resthold, before a shortish closing sequence resulted in Cena regaining the title with the STF-U at the 14 minute mark. I would have booked the finish longer with many nearfalls to take advantage of the unpredictability of the result. But it was still a pretty solid bout, in which I was impressed with Edge’s performance. I don’t know if it was because he worked stiffer (as it looked), but he once more stepped up & left me a little surprised at the result. Many may feel I have over-rated this, but I thought that it was pretty solid when viewed in isolation (as opposed to after what should have been the main event). ***
Kurt Angle defeated Mark Henry to retain Smackdown World Title. I was so disappointed that this was the main event (again, this was not a retrospective opinion). Rey’s Rumble win deserved it so much more & by placing this bout here, you knew that either a heel (Singh or Oleg) would debut, or The Undertaker would grace us with his presence. To the match, Angle frustrates the big gorilla at first, but the so-called world’s strongest man eventually uses his strength to get on top & bore us to tears with his mediocre offense. Not much time is then wasted getting into the ‘Can Kurt succeed with either finisher against the gorilla’ storyline, as an Angle Slam only gets a 2 count, and then an Ankle Lock leads to a ref bump. This brings a steel chair into play & both Daivari & Henry fall victim to it. Henry kicks out once more though & this prompts Angle to expose some steel on a turnbuckle. This is what leads to the win at the 9 minute mark.
Told a decent story I suppose (even if hardly anyone agrees with that story), as Kurt required him to follow his ‘do anything to win’ motto to get the job done. But really, this was just an ok bout at best, that was hampered by a weak challenger & an ordinary match structure. Furthermore, as a main-event, it was genuinely disappointing. I can’t fail it, but it doesn’t deserve much more than the bare minimum pass rating. Afterwards, The Undertaker decides to show up & take the shortcut to get a title shot. Rey just went 62 minutes, but ‘Taker just needed to show up & make the ring collapse! And did anyone see Mark Henry when all that was happening? Maybe he was under the ring!? * I shit on this booking!
Mickie James defeated Ashley Masaro. Nice start to the bout with Ashley frustrating Mickie with some nice offense (although the emphasis & impact of her offense is terrible). It didn’t take too long for Mickie to get on top though, and she told a decent story in more attempting to hurt (rather than beat) her opponent. She really does play her character well. Unfortunately, the bookers decided that Mickie dominating the remainder of the bout wasn’t the way to go & what followed was some of the worst wrestling we’ve seen. Ashley obviously has no fitness/stamina, as she was tired by the 5 minute mark & seemed to completely forget what she had to do next. She has no place wrestling. Simple as that! Half of the bout was actually decent, but I just can’t pass this. Especially since Mickie won at the 8 minute mark with a botched power-bomb type of move. 1/2 *
Boogeyman beat JBL. Boogey attempts to seduce Jillian Hall with a worm kiss before the match gets going! The distraction provides JBL the opportunity to take control early on & dominate with his brawling offense. Then Boogey hits his 1 move (the pumphandle slam) out of nowhere & scores the pinfall at the 2 minute mark! Hardly a wrestling match that was disappointingly unfunny & unentertaining. JBL didn’t deserve to be squashed like this. ¼ *
Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble. Our first 2 entrants were Triple H & Rey Mysterio (2 of the top 4 favorites to win the match). Nice choices to get the crowd hyped up & a real nice touch for Rey to come out in a low-rider. The 2 have a few nice sequences while eliminating Simon Dean & Psichosis along the way. Ric Flair enters at #5 adding the first historical feud to the mix, but it disappointingly ends too soon with Flair’s elimination. To continue the theme though, The Big Show enters next & business well & truly picks up, especially with Kane & Lashley following soon in the first 10. Triple H adds to his eliminations by eliminating the tag-team champions in one hit.
Following the loss of those big names (& big men), things settled down with the eliminations slowing down. Tatanka was predictably one of the surprise entrants at #15 & did a decent job. Eugene, was a little more unpredictable at #18. RVD got the crowd pumped up as the 20th entrant (although he looked very rusty to me). The other mystery entrant was Goldust, who came in at #29. There were very few eliminations throughout the middle portions of the match, and it wasn’t until Randy Orton (who entered last) eliminated He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named pretty much upon entry, that things began to get moving. Following a steady stream of eliminations, Vince McMahon comes out to distract HBK for Shane McMahon to sneak up from behind & eliminate him! The final 5 is then left at Triple H, Rey, Carlito, RVD & Orton. RVD predictably eliminates Carlito as the 2 ex-tag teams then go to work against each other. Rey & RVD pull off some excellent double-team moves to excite the crowd, before RVD gets eliminated, leaving Rey to battle the odds. He gets the prized elimination of Triple H & to say that got the crowd going crazy is an understatement! Rey then eliminates the legend-killer to the pleasure of the crowd, lasting 62 minutes from coast to coast! I would have preferred a longer closing 1 on 1 sequence, but it didn’t take away a great deal from the fairytale win. Not one of the greatest rumbles ever, but it wasn’t the most conventionally structured either. I can see what the WWE were going for with the structure, but they went a little over the top with a few too many big names not lasting long enough (Flair, Booker, Kane, Big Show, for example). But I won’t be too harsh on that, as after 19 years, a little variation can’t hurt. Great fun as per usual, and the fairytale win & nice Rey/RVD team sequence helped it out enormously. *** 1/2
John Cena defeated Edge to win the Raw World Title. I suppose I should mention that Cena made his entrance via some strange ramp that lowered from the ceiling. It was pretty cool, but didn’t help his crowd reaction, that was quite mixed. In fact, this bout was badly placed after the Rumble match, as the Miami crowd that had been hot all night, seemed almost confused here. It didn’t help the match quality out at all. Cena started off well, but a nice spear into the steel ring steps swung the momentum back into Edge’s favor. A nice leg lariat & missile dropkick continued the impressive offense from Edge, and while Cena did make a comeback, the champion controlled the majority of the match. A nice rear chokehold with a leg grapevine provided some variation to the mid-match resthold, before a shortish closing sequence resulted in Cena regaining the title with the STF-U at the 14 minute mark. I would have booked the finish longer with many nearfalls to take advantage of the unpredictability of the result. But it was still a pretty solid bout, in which I was impressed with Edge’s performance. I don’t know if it was because he worked stiffer (as it looked), but he once more stepped up & left me a little surprised at the result. Many may feel I have over-rated this, but I thought that it was pretty solid when viewed in isolation (as opposed to after what should have been the main event). ***
Kurt Angle defeated Mark Henry to retain Smackdown World Title. I was so disappointed that this was the main event (again, this was not a retrospective opinion). Rey’s Rumble win deserved it so much more & by placing this bout here, you knew that either a heel (Singh or Oleg) would debut, or The Undertaker would grace us with his presence. To the match, Angle frustrates the big gorilla at first, but the so-called world’s strongest man eventually uses his strength to get on top & bore us to tears with his mediocre offense. Not much time is then wasted getting into the ‘Can Kurt succeed with either finisher against the gorilla’ storyline, as an Angle Slam only gets a 2 count, and then an Ankle Lock leads to a ref bump. This brings a steel chair into play & both Daivari & Henry fall victim to it. Henry kicks out once more though & this prompts Angle to expose some steel on a turnbuckle. This is what leads to the win at the 9 minute mark.
Told a decent story I suppose (even if hardly anyone agrees with that story), as Kurt required him to follow his ‘do anything to win’ motto to get the job done. But really, this was just an ok bout at best, that was hampered by a weak challenger & an ordinary match structure. Furthermore, as a main-event, it was genuinely disappointing. I can’t fail it, but it doesn’t deserve much more than the bare minimum pass rating. Afterwards, The Undertaker decides to show up & take the shortcut to get a title shot. Rey just went 62 minutes, but ‘Taker just needed to show up & make the ring collapse! And did anyone see Mark Henry when all that was happening? Maybe he was under the ring!? * I shit on this booking!
