I'll give a rundown of all of the nights events, a night in which WWE tried to cram way too much shit into a 2 hour time frame:
Eve getting busted backstage: Eve's acting is F level. And why were the Bellas being all face-ish? Anyway, it was obvious Cena was going to pop up behind her. It served it's purpose to set up the Cena segment, but this in and of itself wasn't entertaining for me
Cena ripping into Eve: This segment in a vacuum was pretty funny. But my only problem is I suffered through, what, 2 months of that shitty Kane/Cena feud, and all it brought about was an Eve heel turn and Cena ripping into her? But the positives were obvious: Broski for a hoeski, followed by hoeski chants, scandalous bitches line, and Eve was looking hot as fuck. But then it took them like 3 minutes to drag Eve's stupid ass out of the ring? Why, just cut to break ffs. Typical horrible mismanagement of time by WWE
Undertaker Promo: If this wasn't the same thing we've seen over the past two weeks, it could have fooled me
Sheamus squashing Henry: I hate hate hate SD rosters taking TV time away from the Raw roster when we haven't seen Brodus Clay, Swagger, and many others for weeks on end. Mark Henry loses cleanly and in 3 minutes. Such a waste
The star of the show is backstage, with his airtime being polluted by Teddy Long: Ace is on point, and Long is cracking corny jokes about poop and the like. For some reason the crowd was all over Teddy Long's jock, which made me sick. Ace was still awesome, good segment. 'You ever notice how much taller I am than you :troll:'
Kofi/Truth vs Epico/Primo: So I guess Truth and Kofi are set to become the next tag champions? I care about the tag division as much as WWe does, so not at all. Rosa was looking fine though, I considered rubbing one out, but held off. I regretted it later. Your tag champs lose in 2 minutes time to two guys who had never tagged before that match. Cool story WWE
Ron Simmons for WWE HOF: Whatever. HOF is obviously meaningless, and I enjoyed the highlights from Simmons career.
Jericho backstage: Good delivery, but content I don't give a fuck about. I'd already seen him say this shit in the video on WWE.com. I'm so sick of Jericho and Punk spouting off about being the best in the world honestly . Not Jericho's best work, but it was short and sweet.
Otunga vs Big Zeke: I remember raging when Zeke won the IC title, and this is why. His future was obvious to everyone outside of the WWE apparently, because now he's jobbing to Bowtunga. I enjoy Bowtunga's character, but I'd just as soon never see him in the ring honestly. Third two minute match of the night, color me unimpressed. The highlight was Johnny Ace celebrating in the ring with the flexing Bowtunga
Undertaker/HHH: 20 minute segment. I don't give a fuck about this shit. I don't care about their feud, their match, their mood lighting, or any of this. It's brutal to have to sit through. I understand most of you probably still want to see Taker make his yearly appearances and that's fine, but I'm over it, especially the last two years with HHH being involved
DB/Santino squash- uninteresting and quick promo by Bryan, followed by the first one minute match of the night. Nice changeup from the 2 minute matches we'd been treated to. YES YES YES as in YES Daniel Bryan only got 3 minutes of TV time
Divas- 4th 2 minute match of the nigh. Twin magic is back, really? This shit is pointless as hell
Cena's 2nd promo: His delivery was great, but I've heard him say all this shit before. Dwayne this Dwayne that, he's hollywood now, he said he wouldn't leave again and then left, blah blah blah. Ooooooooooooo he doesn't respect the Rock? Cool story. At least he acknowledged that his shitty WWE studios movies are BS. Again, Cena was on point with his delivery and emotion, he wasn't corny and smiley, but it wasn't anything he didn't say when Rock first returned last year after Rock dissed him. He did work the crowd beautifully though, took them from booing him to eating out of his hand
Royal Rumble: Fucking train wreck. This is the most creative way they have to set up a Jericho/Punk WM match? Tells you a lot about the current state of WWE creative, as if we needed more reinforcement of what we already knew, that they suck at their job. Hope Wade recovers quickly, you'd think after close to 20 years doing this shit Show would know his own strength and not launch Dolph into the first row on that spot
Overall- 5/10. 5 matches in total went 2 minutes or less, with the only exception being the botch fest Rumble. Cena's mic work saved this from being another 3 or 4