(somebody better sticky this shit)
So Moonlight Drive came up with the original idea, I played along, got inspired, and we swapped PM's, came down from the mountains after speaking with Dave Meltzer, and saw that you guys were worshipping a golden statue of Monkeystyle. We are very angry with you now, as shown by our powerful facial hair.
So without further ado, all shall hereby adhere to the commandments of Smarkdom, and forevermore be subject to its precepts, or be stoned alongside the gays, jews, adulterers and fanboys.
1. Vince Russo shall not have logical storylines.
1.5 John Cena Sucks!
2. Thou shall not diss the Undertaker
2.5 John Cena Sucks!
3. Triple H and Hulk Hogan shall not job to anyone.
3.5 John Cena Sucks!
4. Thou shall always have a better way of booking a superstar than the WWE.
4.5 John Cena Sucks!
5. Thou shall follow the IWC blindly, there shall be no other entity of truth. Verily, Dave Meltzer is God.
5.5 John Cena Sucks!
6. All internet rumors shall be held as truth. News Sites > Facts
6.5 John Cena Sucks!
7. Thou art more knowledgable of the wrestling business than all wrestlers and bookers.
7.5 John Cena Sucks!
8. Ye wrestling product shall always suck hitherto, no matter how good it is. Verily, the attitude era hath always been better.
8.5 John Cena Sucks!
9. Thou shall always prefer puro and indy wrestling to any national product. Verily, though must cream thyself over Elijah Burke, Bryan Danielson(armbar~!), Mr. Kennedy & Chris Jericho.
9.5 John Cena Sucks!
10. Thou must remember to quoth however much John Cena sucketh every time you shall post.
10.5 If ever you shall stray, peradventure to your own way, remember, John Cena sucks.
So Moonlight Drive came up with the original idea, I played along, got inspired, and we swapped PM's, came down from the mountains after speaking with Dave Meltzer, and saw that you guys were worshipping a golden statue of Monkeystyle. We are very angry with you now, as shown by our powerful facial hair.
So without further ado, all shall hereby adhere to the commandments of Smarkdom, and forevermore be subject to its precepts, or be stoned alongside the gays, jews, adulterers and fanboys.
1. Vince Russo shall not have logical storylines.
1.5 John Cena Sucks!
2. Thou shall not diss the Undertaker
2.5 John Cena Sucks!
3. Triple H and Hulk Hogan shall not job to anyone.
3.5 John Cena Sucks!
4. Thou shall always have a better way of booking a superstar than the WWE.
4.5 John Cena Sucks!
5. Thou shall follow the IWC blindly, there shall be no other entity of truth. Verily, Dave Meltzer is God.
5.5 John Cena Sucks!
6. All internet rumors shall be held as truth. News Sites > Facts
6.5 John Cena Sucks!
7. Thou art more knowledgable of the wrestling business than all wrestlers and bookers.
7.5 John Cena Sucks!
8. Ye wrestling product shall always suck hitherto, no matter how good it is. Verily, the attitude era hath always been better.
8.5 John Cena Sucks!
9. Thou shall always prefer puro and indy wrestling to any national product. Verily, though must cream thyself over Elijah Burke, Bryan Danielson(armbar~!), Mr. Kennedy & Chris Jericho.
9.5 John Cena Sucks!
10. Thou must remember to quoth however much John Cena sucketh every time you shall post.
10.5 If ever you shall stray, peradventure to your own way, remember, John Cena sucks.
No homo.