We are starting a new era in columns on this site. Wow that just sounds egotistical! Heh. Welcome to the 11th No Smark Zone. Today we are going to take a trip into the future. I am also going to give my thoughts on the whole McMahon death thing and this weeks edition of “I’m Not Buying It.” But first, I am going to get to something requested by Knicky. Just for you brutha, here are my thoughts on a great talent in the WWE, MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Kennedy!
Knicky said he doesn’t understand all of the hoopla around the WWE's fastest rising star Mr. Ken Kennedy. Knick, I'll try and explain to you why so many people like him, but it's really a matter of personal taste.
I don't think I don't speak for everyone, only for myself. I like Ken Kennedy for a lot of reasons. First of all, he is an old school bad guy. The way he walks, talks, and generally carries himself just screams OLD SCHOOL HEEL. And I like that. I like when a guy will go out of his way to get as much "heat" as possible. Some guys just go out there and go through the motions. But with Kennedy you can tell he loves what he does and he might even relish in the fact that he gets to play the bad guy. Hell I know I would!! I remember very fondly Kennedy in a match with, I forget who, knocked him to the outside on his back. Kenendy proceeded to get out of the ring, bend down to get into the guys face and say "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?" Just fucking hilarious! He kinda reminds me of Ric Flair in that respect.
Just look at his promo last night, Kennedy had the crowd ready to errupt in cheers for him, but instead he had people wanting to climb over the rail and kick his ass. I dont know how to explain it, the guy just has that cocky look that makes you say "God I just want to punch him on the scrotum!" Ok well maybe not that EXACTLY, but you get my point. I believe it is what wrestling promoters and historians have called "The 'it' factor." Some guys have it and some don't. It's not learned, it's not taught, it is a natural thing. Call it "charisma", call it "mic skills", or hey yo, call it "machizmo", it's something every megastar in the industry has had. Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Warrior, Rock, HHH, Austin, Undertaker and even the late great Vincent Kennedy McMahon. All of them have "it" and "it", Knicky, is one of the things that makes Ken Kennedy popular.
Another, less noticed thing, is his ring work. Much like heel Edge, heel Flair, and heel Hogan, Kennedy plays a cowardly bad guy in the ring to a T. He likes to slap people in the face and then run away. He relishes in the moment of having someone beat down, and then taking time from the match to talk shit to them. He loves to talk to the crowd, directly and indirectly, and taunt them as much as he can. When you add to the fact that he sells like a champ, he knows when to do things in the ring at the right time, and that he has some pretty good finishers, you have one hell of a performer.
That, and he’s from Wisconsin and his name is Ken like me so I gotsta give him love!!
So there you go Knicky, I hope this helped you understand why at least one person likes Ken Kennedy. And for the rest of you out there, if you want to know what I think about something, hell just ask!
I’m Not Buying It
For those of you who are new to my column, this is one of my “features” in the NSZ. A little explanation- A lot of times I am watching wrestling and I get lost in the moment. Where I am getting up and yelling at the TV screen like an idiot, especially if there is no one around. But there are other times when I sit there and I am truly reminded that I am not watching guys in battle or a great story, those are things I don’t buy.
ECW’s Roster- I still maintain my stance that SD got completely FUCKED in this draft. But in a close second is ECW. They lost Lashley, ECW Original in The Sandman, one of the more under rated guys on the roster in Hardcore Holly, and the up and coming Major Brothers. And what did they gain? The Boogeyman, Viscera, The Miz, Johnny Nitro, and Chris Benoit. While I do admit those last two choices are people you can build a brand around, they totally got fucked. Chris Benoit vs. Bobby Lashley was the best shorter technical match I had seen in MONTHS on WWE TV. And this, if done right, could have been a money feud for ECW, even if it was face vs. face. But now we get the smark-gasm match up of Punk and Benoit. Trust me folks, this is probably not gonna turn into a feud. In all likelihood someone either at the PPV or at the next ECW is going to interject themselves into the mix and we’ll either see the champ and him split off or we will see a three way feud for the belt. Also, expect a face turn in a very short time from either Elijah Burke or Marcus CorVon because there aren’t enough faces right now to sustain ECW for another year. Unless they actually intend to push the old Booger.
TNA Turn Around- Ever since news broke that TNA has “turned a substantial profit” people have once again started this insane talk about them beating the WWE. Now don’t get me wrong, I am of the belief that competition is good. I remember very vividly switching back and forth on Monday nights. But that’s because both WCW and WWE were both REALLY GOOD. TNA sucks. It always has sucked. And if it continues like this, it always will suck. I’m not going to go into the multitude of reasons why TNA is dying but it falls under two categories, misuse of talent and bad business decisions. Shitting on your homegrown stars and paying guys in the 6 figure range to do it and not even be able to get a fucking consistent 1.1 is pathetic.
VKM- No I’m not saying I don’t buy the story, because it is a good one. I’m not buying this so called “disillusionment” of the smark community. The second the bomb dropped, PUN INTENDED, the IWC was up in arms. “God this is so stupid, God the WWE is sinking to a new low” blah blah blah. Yet how many of them still read spoilers, watch the shows, come on here and talk about it, or even watch PPVs? Almost all of them. You all need to shut the fuck up already. I’m sick to death of your incessant whining. Every time a main event includes John Cena and not Shelton Benjamin, you bitch. Every time there is a squash match, you bitch. And every time something not 100% having to do with wrestling happens, like say someone getting blown to pieces, you fucking bitch. If this is so “bad” where were you fuckers when Austin was making Vince’s life a living hell back in the Attitude Era? The cement mixers, the portopotties, the singing in the dressing room. Why is that any better than this?
Ok, rant off. It is now time to take a little look into the future and for this I am calling on the spirit of Karnack the magnificent. It’s time for some Vengeance predictions.
Cruiserweight Championsip- Chavo Guerrero© vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
If this match doesn’t start the show it will be the tag title match. This feud has been build up over months and months of SD programming and it has been, like every other CW rivalry since Mysterio won the title in his home town, this one has gone completely under the radar. But it’s hard to MAKE fans care about a guy like Jimmy. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all but BOY HOWDY keep the mic away from him. Chavo is a completley different story and he could make any CW wrestler look like a millon bucks through the use of promos, but the WWE haven’t seen fit to do that. But reguardless of ALL of that, this is going to be, at the very least, an exciting match. I think the champ is due. He’s lost enough times to make me think Jimmy is gonna do it and then perhaps they can start an actual feud.
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang
Intercontinental Championship- Santino Marella© vs. Umaga
In keeping with the Intercontinental theme, the WWE have booked Umaga vs. Santino Marella. A rematch of Rocky and Apollo II. I don’t know why this is even on the card. Yes it’s the IC belt, but the WWE tag belts were left off so who gives a shit right? Id rather not have the title defended if the match is gonna suck. I like Santino, but he really hasn’t shown much in the ring. Sure he can do some flashy moves, but they take FOREVER to set up. I’d be much happier if the guy had at least a decent finisher. I have no idea who is going to win this match. But if this is going to be the start of a feud, Umaga will take it. I don’t think it will be though, so I’m going with the champ.
Winner: Santino Marella
World Tag Team Championship- Lance Cade© & Trevor Murdoch© vs. The Hardys-
THE HARDYS COULD BE SPLIT UP!! If they are going to continue this shit, why the hell didn’t they put them both on the same show. It really hurts the credibility of the draft if everyone just shows up on everyone elses show. These guys have all had really good matches so I have no reason to think this is going to be bad. I would have preferred a gimmick of some type since they have fought so many times in the past, but that’s just me. This match will probably be kept relatively short considering the double main event so look for the Cowboys to win by cheating.
Winners: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
ECW World Title Match- Chris Benoit vs. CM Punk
You cant put all 3 of the “world” title matches in a row so this would be the obvious first one to go. Much like all of the other matches on ths card, this match has almost no build. But in this case, the match quality is almost guaranteed to overshadow any need for a storyline. I’m very interested to see this match as I am, of course, the biggest Benoit fan of all time. I really hope he gets the title and uses it to build up someone in the New Breed, CM Punk, or even my second favorite ECW wrestler Kevin Thorn! I don’t know what else I can say except sit back and enjoy the ride. Oh, the winner. Benoit of course!
Winner: Chris Benoit
United States Championship-MVP© vs. Ric Flair
I hope this is the beginning of a LONG feud between these two. Can you imagine the promo GOLD between MVP and Flair? Oh lordy this is gonna be one entertainingride to say the least. This match will probably be kept pretty basic as these two don’t know each other very well yet, and that’s ok MVP can kinda take it easy and not feel too pressured as he in the ring with the 16 time WHC. MVP isn’t going to give up the title so quickly so Flair winning it seems VERY unlikely. But I wouldn’t put it past the WWE to fuck with us and make Flair the temporary champ.
Winner: MVP
Women's Championship© Melina vs. Candice Michelle
All I have to say about this is BOOBIES. Who here remembered that these 2 were feuding? Neither did I. I don’t even really care about this match, to be honest with you. I like womens wrestling don’t get me wrong, but this just hasn’t been able to capture my attention. I’m pulling for Candy because shes my hometown girl and there is a good chance she might win. I’d say it’s a toss up really. The only reason I’d like to see Melina win is to see this new finisher of hers. I looked away while I was watching Raw and I missed it.
Winner: Melina
World Heavyweight Champion Edge© vs. Batista (Last Chance Match)
Holy last chances Batman! I like this match for a lot of reasons. One, its been built up so well. Two, I like both of the guys involved. And three, these guys have the best pyro in the business, hands down. Ok, three is a dumb reason but I still like their pyro damn it! For the life of me I cant figure out why this wasn’t given SOMETHING to make it more interesting though. Hell In A Cell, No Holds Barred, SOMETHING. These two guys obviously don’t work together too well in the ring and something like that would have covered it up very well. As I said, the build has been great and unfortunately I don’t see this being the money match it should be. I think Edge is going to win and if he is going to, it should be done convinsingly. With a THUD if you will. But the WWE might decide to drag this out till Rey gets back. All I am asking is please, PLEASE, no Khali!!!
Winner: Edge
WWE Championship Challenge Match- John Cena© vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker vs. Mick Foley
This is the first time I thought Cena deserved to close the show in a while over Batista or Edge in the ME, but its not by much. This is another “throw shit together after the draft” match. Don’t you think the WWE should have thought of this earlier? Anyway, it’s gonna be a hell of a match because of all of the talent you have involved. But im sure it is going to play like every other multi-man match where 2 guys have singles matches the whole time. I hope not, but its how its gonna go. I have no idea who is gonna win. This is the best time to get the title off Cena and have him chase. But Orton cant win it as he will get squashed in a few months (supposedly) and Mick cant win. He’s not full time. Would Cena chase Bobby? Doubt it. So that leaves King Booker. If the WWE want Cena to chase for a while, they will give it to the King. But I don’t see it happening, so I’ll stay safe with the champ.
Winner: John Cena
Well thats it for this week. I am keeping the top 5 PPVs of 2005 open for another week as 3lions was the only one to get even close. I will give you a hint. He for the number one PPV right.
Everyone should go read Soulpowers ECW Review but not Monkeystyles' Raw review because he's a beotch and didnt plug me! :AR15firing:
Until next time, catch ya on the flipside.
Knicky said he doesn’t understand all of the hoopla around the WWE's fastest rising star Mr. Ken Kennedy. Knick, I'll try and explain to you why so many people like him, but it's really a matter of personal taste.
I don't think I don't speak for everyone, only for myself. I like Ken Kennedy for a lot of reasons. First of all, he is an old school bad guy. The way he walks, talks, and generally carries himself just screams OLD SCHOOL HEEL. And I like that. I like when a guy will go out of his way to get as much "heat" as possible. Some guys just go out there and go through the motions. But with Kennedy you can tell he loves what he does and he might even relish in the fact that he gets to play the bad guy. Hell I know I would!! I remember very fondly Kennedy in a match with, I forget who, knocked him to the outside on his back. Kenendy proceeded to get out of the ring, bend down to get into the guys face and say "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?" Just fucking hilarious! He kinda reminds me of Ric Flair in that respect.
Just look at his promo last night, Kennedy had the crowd ready to errupt in cheers for him, but instead he had people wanting to climb over the rail and kick his ass. I dont know how to explain it, the guy just has that cocky look that makes you say "God I just want to punch him on the scrotum!" Ok well maybe not that EXACTLY, but you get my point. I believe it is what wrestling promoters and historians have called "The 'it' factor." Some guys have it and some don't. It's not learned, it's not taught, it is a natural thing. Call it "charisma", call it "mic skills", or hey yo, call it "machizmo", it's something every megastar in the industry has had. Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Warrior, Rock, HHH, Austin, Undertaker and even the late great Vincent Kennedy McMahon. All of them have "it" and "it", Knicky, is one of the things that makes Ken Kennedy popular.
Another, less noticed thing, is his ring work. Much like heel Edge, heel Flair, and heel Hogan, Kennedy plays a cowardly bad guy in the ring to a T. He likes to slap people in the face and then run away. He relishes in the moment of having someone beat down, and then taking time from the match to talk shit to them. He loves to talk to the crowd, directly and indirectly, and taunt them as much as he can. When you add to the fact that he sells like a champ, he knows when to do things in the ring at the right time, and that he has some pretty good finishers, you have one hell of a performer.
That, and he’s from Wisconsin and his name is Ken like me so I gotsta give him love!!
So there you go Knicky, I hope this helped you understand why at least one person likes Ken Kennedy. And for the rest of you out there, if you want to know what I think about something, hell just ask!
I’m Not Buying It
For those of you who are new to my column, this is one of my “features” in the NSZ. A little explanation- A lot of times I am watching wrestling and I get lost in the moment. Where I am getting up and yelling at the TV screen like an idiot, especially if there is no one around. But there are other times when I sit there and I am truly reminded that I am not watching guys in battle or a great story, those are things I don’t buy.
ECW’s Roster- I still maintain my stance that SD got completely FUCKED in this draft. But in a close second is ECW. They lost Lashley, ECW Original in The Sandman, one of the more under rated guys on the roster in Hardcore Holly, and the up and coming Major Brothers. And what did they gain? The Boogeyman, Viscera, The Miz, Johnny Nitro, and Chris Benoit. While I do admit those last two choices are people you can build a brand around, they totally got fucked. Chris Benoit vs. Bobby Lashley was the best shorter technical match I had seen in MONTHS on WWE TV. And this, if done right, could have been a money feud for ECW, even if it was face vs. face. But now we get the smark-gasm match up of Punk and Benoit. Trust me folks, this is probably not gonna turn into a feud. In all likelihood someone either at the PPV or at the next ECW is going to interject themselves into the mix and we’ll either see the champ and him split off or we will see a three way feud for the belt. Also, expect a face turn in a very short time from either Elijah Burke or Marcus CorVon because there aren’t enough faces right now to sustain ECW for another year. Unless they actually intend to push the old Booger.
TNA Turn Around- Ever since news broke that TNA has “turned a substantial profit” people have once again started this insane talk about them beating the WWE. Now don’t get me wrong, I am of the belief that competition is good. I remember very vividly switching back and forth on Monday nights. But that’s because both WCW and WWE were both REALLY GOOD. TNA sucks. It always has sucked. And if it continues like this, it always will suck. I’m not going to go into the multitude of reasons why TNA is dying but it falls under two categories, misuse of talent and bad business decisions. Shitting on your homegrown stars and paying guys in the 6 figure range to do it and not even be able to get a fucking consistent 1.1 is pathetic.
VKM- No I’m not saying I don’t buy the story, because it is a good one. I’m not buying this so called “disillusionment” of the smark community. The second the bomb dropped, PUN INTENDED, the IWC was up in arms. “God this is so stupid, God the WWE is sinking to a new low” blah blah blah. Yet how many of them still read spoilers, watch the shows, come on here and talk about it, or even watch PPVs? Almost all of them. You all need to shut the fuck up already. I’m sick to death of your incessant whining. Every time a main event includes John Cena and not Shelton Benjamin, you bitch. Every time there is a squash match, you bitch. And every time something not 100% having to do with wrestling happens, like say someone getting blown to pieces, you fucking bitch. If this is so “bad” where were you fuckers when Austin was making Vince’s life a living hell back in the Attitude Era? The cement mixers, the portopotties, the singing in the dressing room. Why is that any better than this?
Ok, rant off. It is now time to take a little look into the future and for this I am calling on the spirit of Karnack the magnificent. It’s time for some Vengeance predictions.
Cruiserweight Championsip- Chavo Guerrero© vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
If this match doesn’t start the show it will be the tag title match. This feud has been build up over months and months of SD programming and it has been, like every other CW rivalry since Mysterio won the title in his home town, this one has gone completely under the radar. But it’s hard to MAKE fans care about a guy like Jimmy. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all but BOY HOWDY keep the mic away from him. Chavo is a completley different story and he could make any CW wrestler look like a millon bucks through the use of promos, but the WWE haven’t seen fit to do that. But reguardless of ALL of that, this is going to be, at the very least, an exciting match. I think the champ is due. He’s lost enough times to make me think Jimmy is gonna do it and then perhaps they can start an actual feud.
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang
Intercontinental Championship- Santino Marella© vs. Umaga
In keeping with the Intercontinental theme, the WWE have booked Umaga vs. Santino Marella. A rematch of Rocky and Apollo II. I don’t know why this is even on the card. Yes it’s the IC belt, but the WWE tag belts were left off so who gives a shit right? Id rather not have the title defended if the match is gonna suck. I like Santino, but he really hasn’t shown much in the ring. Sure he can do some flashy moves, but they take FOREVER to set up. I’d be much happier if the guy had at least a decent finisher. I have no idea who is going to win this match. But if this is going to be the start of a feud, Umaga will take it. I don’t think it will be though, so I’m going with the champ.
Winner: Santino Marella
World Tag Team Championship- Lance Cade© & Trevor Murdoch© vs. The Hardys-
THE HARDYS COULD BE SPLIT UP!! If they are going to continue this shit, why the hell didn’t they put them both on the same show. It really hurts the credibility of the draft if everyone just shows up on everyone elses show. These guys have all had really good matches so I have no reason to think this is going to be bad. I would have preferred a gimmick of some type since they have fought so many times in the past, but that’s just me. This match will probably be kept relatively short considering the double main event so look for the Cowboys to win by cheating.
Winners: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
ECW World Title Match- Chris Benoit vs. CM Punk
You cant put all 3 of the “world” title matches in a row so this would be the obvious first one to go. Much like all of the other matches on ths card, this match has almost no build. But in this case, the match quality is almost guaranteed to overshadow any need for a storyline. I’m very interested to see this match as I am, of course, the biggest Benoit fan of all time. I really hope he gets the title and uses it to build up someone in the New Breed, CM Punk, or even my second favorite ECW wrestler Kevin Thorn! I don’t know what else I can say except sit back and enjoy the ride. Oh, the winner. Benoit of course!
Winner: Chris Benoit
United States Championship-MVP© vs. Ric Flair
I hope this is the beginning of a LONG feud between these two. Can you imagine the promo GOLD between MVP and Flair? Oh lordy this is gonna be one entertainingride to say the least. This match will probably be kept pretty basic as these two don’t know each other very well yet, and that’s ok MVP can kinda take it easy and not feel too pressured as he in the ring with the 16 time WHC. MVP isn’t going to give up the title so quickly so Flair winning it seems VERY unlikely. But I wouldn’t put it past the WWE to fuck with us and make Flair the temporary champ.
Winner: MVP
Women's Championship© Melina vs. Candice Michelle
All I have to say about this is BOOBIES. Who here remembered that these 2 were feuding? Neither did I. I don’t even really care about this match, to be honest with you. I like womens wrestling don’t get me wrong, but this just hasn’t been able to capture my attention. I’m pulling for Candy because shes my hometown girl and there is a good chance she might win. I’d say it’s a toss up really. The only reason I’d like to see Melina win is to see this new finisher of hers. I looked away while I was watching Raw and I missed it.
Winner: Melina
World Heavyweight Champion Edge© vs. Batista (Last Chance Match)
Holy last chances Batman! I like this match for a lot of reasons. One, its been built up so well. Two, I like both of the guys involved. And three, these guys have the best pyro in the business, hands down. Ok, three is a dumb reason but I still like their pyro damn it! For the life of me I cant figure out why this wasn’t given SOMETHING to make it more interesting though. Hell In A Cell, No Holds Barred, SOMETHING. These two guys obviously don’t work together too well in the ring and something like that would have covered it up very well. As I said, the build has been great and unfortunately I don’t see this being the money match it should be. I think Edge is going to win and if he is going to, it should be done convinsingly. With a THUD if you will. But the WWE might decide to drag this out till Rey gets back. All I am asking is please, PLEASE, no Khali!!!
Winner: Edge
WWE Championship Challenge Match- John Cena© vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker vs. Mick Foley
This is the first time I thought Cena deserved to close the show in a while over Batista or Edge in the ME, but its not by much. This is another “throw shit together after the draft” match. Don’t you think the WWE should have thought of this earlier? Anyway, it’s gonna be a hell of a match because of all of the talent you have involved. But im sure it is going to play like every other multi-man match where 2 guys have singles matches the whole time. I hope not, but its how its gonna go. I have no idea who is gonna win. This is the best time to get the title off Cena and have him chase. But Orton cant win it as he will get squashed in a few months (supposedly) and Mick cant win. He’s not full time. Would Cena chase Bobby? Doubt it. So that leaves King Booker. If the WWE want Cena to chase for a while, they will give it to the King. But I don’t see it happening, so I’ll stay safe with the champ.
Winner: John Cena
Well thats it for this week. I am keeping the top 5 PPVs of 2005 open for another week as 3lions was the only one to get even close. I will give you a hint. He for the number one PPV right.
Everyone should go read Soulpowers ECW Review but not Monkeystyles' Raw review because he's a beotch and didnt plug me! :AR15firing:
Until next time, catch ya on the flipside.
, but I just dont understand that. Anyway, Great Review Kaedon. It deserves rep IMO.....