My Poem

[Nation]

Tell me if it's good or not and don't bullshit me.Also do you think the end is a little to much? and should i change it to pay or something else?

In his eyes i see his fear.
If it's not fear it's stupidity.

He knows what he said
That's why he acts nice now
Because he is a coward
Afraid to face his mistakes
But whether or not if he doesn't want to face them
Doesn't matter because i will force him to

He must feel my pain
He must remember what he said to me
He must regret it

This coward is standing so close to me
It takes all of my power to stay seated
Why am i still sitting?
When i know what he said to me

He must feel my pain
He must remember what he said to me
He must regret it
He must,
He must,
DIE!

 

[the last gunslinger]

That's not bad dude......and there's no such thing as "too much" when it comes to poetry

 

[Markz]

This aint based on your life is it?

 

[Nation]

No it's not it's just a poem.

 

[PeepShow]

It seems a bit "too" evil. IDK, I've just never read poetry that sounds that evil to me...lol

 

[monkeystyle]

Do you read a lot of poetry?

 

[Nation]

Nope but i did read the assassination before i wrote this.Do you know any good sites with somewhat exciting poetry?

 

[monkeystyle]

Nope but i did read the assassination before i wrote this.Do you know any good sites with somewhat exciting poetry?

Depends on what you like.

As to the poem, I can tell that there was thought and some emotion put in to this, which is one of the most important things in writing. Though technically speaking its not very good. However that is something that is very easily remedied. Start reading more poetry, learn more about the different styles of writing. You'll get better in no time.

 

[gashface]

It's more or less just the same old thing everybody writes. If you want to be a poet, try actually making the poem harder to decipher and using more language techniques.