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Mr. Bobby Beach vs. Eric Snow for the North American Title
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The scene is outside Eric Snows apartment, a camera man is seen waiting outside and it appears he has been waiting for quite some time.
Camera Man: Snow told me to be here at 9 AM sharp, and that he was willing to pay me $500 to help him film him today....it's god damn 10 now and I've been pounding on the door for over a hour. To make it even worse the ass hole is home to, he waved out the window at me about a half hour ago with a smile on his face. You no what screw it I'm out of here.....
The camera man begins to make his way back to his van...when the door to the apartment opens and out comes Eric Snow.
Eric Snow: Hey....where the hell do you think your going, last time I checked we had a deal today..
Camera Man: I've been waiting for a hour man, I want the money but come on least you can do is be on time.
Eric Snow: What's your name again?....Nevermind it doesn't really matter your my sidekick for the day so I'm calling you Skippy. Rule #1 is keep them waiting...whether it be the fans, a woman I'm trying to pick up or in your case the help, you ALWAYS KEEP them waiting and wanting more and more it's star building 101 young Skippy.
Camera Man: Thank's for the advice, can we get on with this now so I can actually get this done and get paid, we can take my van to wherever you want to go and get to shooting whatever it is you have in mind.
Eric Snow: What kind of ride is that Skippy? Looks like a 88 Caravan to me and there's no way I'm going to be seen in that. There's a reason you still live in your parents basement, and that van is the leading culprit. Wait here and I'll pull up the Corvette, and don't get excited Skip you don't get to drive.
Snow pulls up in the car, the camera man jumps in and there off to there first destination for what Eric has planned for the day. Silent car ride with Eric only making a noise when he passes a attractive woman and shouts obscenities at them from the car. They arrive at the local beach, which is the first stop for the day.
Eric Snow: Ok Skippy, it's showtime, put up the graphic and then we'll start rolling and you'll see me working my magic. Count me down.
Camera Man: Filming in 5..4..3..2..1..
Hello, I'm Eric Snow and welcome to a very special segment I like to call...
"Getting To Know Mr. Bobby Beach"
Folks I know your asking yourselves, "Eric, who is Bobby Beach? I've never heard of the guy"
Well your not alone there folks, cause I was asking myself the same question when I was told I was facing him for the NA Title as my next match.
Hence where the brilliant idea came from for this segment.
Where going to be going to 2 locations today, that I've been told by inside sources that Mr. Beach frequents. Hopefully we can get some interviews with Mr. Beach's friends, and if we're lucky enough maybe we can get a exclusive interview that no one wants with the man himself.
So please WKF join me on what's sure to be a interesting day.
Camera Man: Snow told me to be here at 9 AM sharp, and that he was willing to pay me $500 to help him film him today....it's god damn 10 now and I've been pounding on the door for over a hour. To make it even worse the ass hole is home to, he waved out the window at me about a half hour ago with a smile on his face. You no what screw it I'm out of here.....
The camera man begins to make his way back to his van...when the door to the apartment opens and out comes Eric Snow.
Eric Snow: Hey....where the hell do you think your going, last time I checked we had a deal today..
Camera Man: I've been waiting for a hour man, I want the money but come on least you can do is be on time.
Eric Snow: What's your name again?....Nevermind it doesn't really matter your my sidekick for the day so I'm calling you Skippy. Rule #1 is keep them waiting...whether it be the fans, a woman I'm trying to pick up or in your case the help, you ALWAYS KEEP them waiting and wanting more and more it's star building 101 young Skippy.
Camera Man: Thank's for the advice, can we get on with this now so I can actually get this done and get paid, we can take my van to wherever you want to go and get to shooting whatever it is you have in mind.
Eric Snow: What kind of ride is that Skippy? Looks like a 88 Caravan to me and there's no way I'm going to be seen in that. There's a reason you still live in your parents basement, and that van is the leading culprit. Wait here and I'll pull up the Corvette, and don't get excited Skip you don't get to drive.
Snow pulls up in the car, the camera man jumps in and there off to there first destination for what Eric has planned for the day. Silent car ride with Eric only making a noise when he passes a attractive woman and shouts obscenities at them from the car. They arrive at the local beach, which is the first stop for the day.
Eric Snow: Ok Skippy, it's showtime, put up the graphic and then we'll start rolling and you'll see me working my magic. Count me down.
Camera Man: Filming in 5..4..3..2..1..
Hello, I'm Eric Snow and welcome to a very special segment I like to call...
"Getting To Know Mr. Bobby Beach"
Folks I know your asking yourselves, "Eric, who is Bobby Beach? I've never heard of the guy"
Well your not alone there folks, cause I was asking myself the same question when I was told I was facing him for the NA Title as my next match.
Hence where the brilliant idea came from for this segment.
Where going to be going to 2 locations today, that I've been told by inside sources that Mr. Beach frequents. Hopefully we can get some interviews with Mr. Beach's friends, and if we're lucky enough maybe we can get a exclusive interview that no one wants with the man himself.
So please WKF join me on what's sure to be a interesting day.
Hey folks, where back and I know your at the edge of your seats?
Stop #1 today for us is the local beach. Mr. Beach is tan and seems like he likes to where speedos, plus his last name is Beach so the beach was a logical choice to start our search, and after making some calls we narrowed down our search to a local beach that Mr. Beach frequents regularly. Jesus Christ I just said Beach why to many times.
So I scouted the area earlier and was able to find a young women Jamie Jones who was willing to speak with her experience at this very spot with Mr. Beach. Let's bring her in.
Hello young lady my names Eric, but you now that cause we talked earlier, please share with us you story.
Is this going to be on TV....
Of course this may be your rocket ship to fame now get on with and just go with what we talked about earlier.
Oh ok sorry...Well I usually come here a few times a week just to lay out with friends, look at some of the guys and of course catch some rays, because no one likes a pale person you know.
Anyways I've seen this guy here all the time and he's really creepy. Basically he just walks around flexing his muscles and trying to hit on anything that breathes. He's come up to me a couple of time asking to rub lotion on my back and to hang out, and I've just always shot him down. He's like 100 years old and all his muscles are all wrinkling and I think he stuffs his speedo.
Let's go farther into the spedo stuffing that seems like a interesting story.
Yea I don't know what was up but this one time he was like flexing by me and my friends and he was bending over, and swear to good I saw the side of a rolled up sock slip out the side of his speedo, super emabarsing.
Well thank you Jamie I think you shed some light on "Who Is Mr Bobby Beach?"
Stop #1 today for us is the local beach. Mr. Beach is tan and seems like he likes to where speedos, plus his last name is Beach so the beach was a logical choice to start our search, and after making some calls we narrowed down our search to a local beach that Mr. Beach frequents regularly. Jesus Christ I just said Beach why to many times.
So I scouted the area earlier and was able to find a young women Jamie Jones who was willing to speak with her experience at this very spot with Mr. Beach. Let's bring her in.
Hello young lady my names Eric, but you now that cause we talked earlier, please share with us you story.
Is this going to be on TV....
Of course this may be your rocket ship to fame now get on with and just go with what we talked about earlier.
Oh ok sorry...Well I usually come here a few times a week just to lay out with friends, look at some of the guys and of course catch some rays, because no one likes a pale person you know.
Anyways I've seen this guy here all the time and he's really creepy. Basically he just walks around flexing his muscles and trying to hit on anything that breathes. He's come up to me a couple of time asking to rub lotion on my back and to hang out, and I've just always shot him down. He's like 100 years old and all his muscles are all wrinkling and I think he stuffs his speedo.
Let's go farther into the spedo stuffing that seems like a interesting story.
Yea I don't know what was up but this one time he was like flexing by me and my friends and he was bending over, and swear to good I saw the side of a rolled up sock slip out the side of his speedo, super emabarsing.
Well thank you Jamie I think you shed some light on "Who Is Mr Bobby Beach?"
Hi, it's me again your favorite wrestler, at stop #2 today the local gym where Mr. Bobby Beach works out on daily and based on how huge he looks a hourly basis. We where able to get some screen time with one the patrons who has had a shocking first had experience with Mr. Beach.
The camera's all yours sir please go over with the audience what you told me earlier today.
Hi, names Kevin and I like to work out as you can prob tell by how freaking ripped I am, and I've seen that old guy Beach around here for the past few months now.
At first I was impressed the guy is in great shape, not in shape like me but for a old dude he's doing pretty good for himself. He was in here working out kept to him self and seemed like he wouldn't be a problem. The things got weird..
Please Kevin tell us what happened...
All of a sudden guy had these mood swings and started turning into a jerk, would push people off equitment he wanted to use, and walk around yelling and staring at himself in the mirror. Then he demanded that the gym manager play this stupid song as loud as possible over the PA anytime he worked out...Bett Anne or something like that was the song. Never heard of it and sounded like it was something from the 50's
Wow, I don't know about you folks but the more I find out about Mr. Beach the more I think he's a giant.....
Wait there's more, one day he left his locker open and me and some of the other guys went in there and it was like a Steroid surplus store. I'm talking HGH, Creame, hell there was even horse roids in there. The mystery of how he got so big was quickly solved. we confronted him about it and he flipped out and hasn't been back since.
Thanks Kevin for that very revealing interview, def shed some light on the mystery that is Bobby Beach.
The Camera goes black for about 30 seconds, and then turns back on with Eric Snow once again being filmed.
I know I promised you 2 stops on our search but I need to do more and I think I have a lead. The theme and key word we heard from both Kevin and Jamie was "old" which leads us to our bonus stop, the place I believe is Mr. Beach's resident.......
The camera's all yours sir please go over with the audience what you told me earlier today.
Hi, names Kevin and I like to work out as you can prob tell by how freaking ripped I am, and I've seen that old guy Beach around here for the past few months now.
At first I was impressed the guy is in great shape, not in shape like me but for a old dude he's doing pretty good for himself. He was in here working out kept to him self and seemed like he wouldn't be a problem. The things got weird..
Please Kevin tell us what happened...
All of a sudden guy had these mood swings and started turning into a jerk, would push people off equitment he wanted to use, and walk around yelling and staring at himself in the mirror. Then he demanded that the gym manager play this stupid song as loud as possible over the PA anytime he worked out...Bett Anne or something like that was the song. Never heard of it and sounded like it was something from the 50's
Wow, I don't know about you folks but the more I find out about Mr. Beach the more I think he's a giant.....
Wait there's more, one day he left his locker open and me and some of the other guys went in there and it was like a Steroid surplus store. I'm talking HGH, Creame, hell there was even horse roids in there. The mystery of how he got so big was quickly solved. we confronted him about it and he flipped out and hasn't been back since.
Thanks Kevin for that very revealing interview, def shed some light on the mystery that is Bobby Beach.
The Camera goes black for about 30 seconds, and then turns back on with Eric Snow once again being filmed.
I know I promised you 2 stops on our search but I need to do more and I think I have a lead. The theme and key word we heard from both Kevin and Jamie was "old" which leads us to our bonus stop, the place I believe is Mr. Beach's resident.......
Bobby Beach is def old enough to live here and it's directly between both the gym and the beach. I'm confident we will find him here.
Snow walks through the front door and looks around the room in hopes of finding Snow. He makes his way around to the different rooms and sees something that catches his eye.
Skippy that's him....that's Beach in the chair right there. Hurry lets rush him before he can get out of here on that rascal he's sitting in, heard those things can get going if you gun them.
Mr. Bobby Beach I've finally found you do you have anything to say for yourself
Snow walks through the front door and looks around the room in hopes of finding Snow. He makes his way around to the different rooms and sees something that catches his eye.
Skippy that's him....that's Beach in the chair right there. Hurry lets rush him before he can get out of here on that rascal he's sitting in, heard those things can get going if you gun them.
Mr. Bobby Beach I've finally found you do you have anything to say for yourself
Who?
I'm sorry I forgot your hearing isn't that good as you age. MR. BEACH I WANT TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS, DO YOU HAVE THE TIME NOW OR DO YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK AFTER YOU DIAPER CHANGE AND NAP?
Haaaah....You got the wrong fella you youngster, I know who your talking about though....my ASSHOLE son.
I'm sorry sir, that I got you confused with your son, it's obvious where he got his looks from. Do you have anything to tell the people about.
Did you hear me before I said he's a ASSHOLE. He's to busy playing dress up and rolling around wrestling oily men to come visit me in this shit hole he put me in. He dropped me off here 3 years ago and I see the bum twice a year
Now leave me alone Matlock his about to start....next time you see my kid tell him I said.....HE"S A ASSHOLE.
The Camera goes to black again for 30 seconds and then switches back to Snow.
Well I have to say that we found out who Bobby Beach is today. He harasses young women, stuffs his shorts, has horrible taste in music, abuses drugs, and hates old people.
That's def not someone I think should be representing WKF as NA champion, and let me promise you I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to do what I do and as usual I'm walking out with the title and Beach can go back to being the degenerate he is.
The camera goes to black again but there is still sound, just no video.
Skippy do me a favor and go pay that Jamie chick and that roid head Kevin for lying on camera for me, we really made Beach look like shit.
What about the old man?
I didn't tell him to say anything the guy just freaking hates Beach.
END Scene
I'm sorry I forgot your hearing isn't that good as you age. MR. BEACH I WANT TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS, DO YOU HAVE THE TIME NOW OR DO YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK AFTER YOU DIAPER CHANGE AND NAP?
Haaaah....You got the wrong fella you youngster, I know who your talking about though....my ASSHOLE son.
I'm sorry sir, that I got you confused with your son, it's obvious where he got his looks from. Do you have anything to tell the people about.
Did you hear me before I said he's a ASSHOLE. He's to busy playing dress up and rolling around wrestling oily men to come visit me in this shit hole he put me in. He dropped me off here 3 years ago and I see the bum twice a year
Now leave me alone Matlock his about to start....next time you see my kid tell him I said.....HE"S A ASSHOLE.
The Camera goes to black again for 30 seconds and then switches back to Snow.
Well I have to say that we found out who Bobby Beach is today. He harasses young women, stuffs his shorts, has horrible taste in music, abuses drugs, and hates old people.
That's def not someone I think should be representing WKF as NA champion, and let me promise you I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to do what I do and as usual I'm walking out with the title and Beach can go back to being the degenerate he is.
The camera goes to black again but there is still sound, just no video.
Skippy do me a favor and go pay that Jamie chick and that roid head Kevin for lying on camera for me, we really made Beach look like shit.
What about the old man?
I didn't tell him to say anything the guy just freaking hates Beach.
END Scene
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It all starts here at Bobby Beach's home. He is relaxing in this late afternoon sun. He is getting a nice tan when he gets up showing off his perfect body. He walks into the house gets some water to cool down before going into a specific room. It would probably be a showcase room of sorts. A trophy room if he anything more than just soap box derby ribbons and little league uniforms. What an athlete.
He struts around a bit before turning on a webcam and appearing via satellite. He sits down not even talking at first. Giving a cheesy smile to every viewing worldwide. The smile quickly ends, though. As he transfroms into the angriest looking beach bully you've ever seen. He decides to stand up and scowl at the camera just a bit before yelling at it.
Bobby Beach: ...This is what I had to resort to. I had to resort to setting up my own damn webcam because the management in WKF told me specifically that I was a threat to the well being of their staff. You'd think those jackasses would want to stand by side and be in the same vicinity as someone the likes of me. Jesus Christ, apparently they sent some crew out for Eric Snow, though. Who showed off what a magnificent liar he is. What a marvelous expose he did on me. You can try to make me look bad all day long, young man but the end result of Champion's Showcase will be exactly the same. This womanizing, steroid jacked, horrible idea of a son is going to kick your ass all over the damn building. You see nobody and I mean nobody puts me in a negative light...
Bobby Beach shakes his head in straight anger getting even more visibly upset with each passing second.
Bobby Beach: That reminds me of one time I went to this tanning saloon. Burnt me inside and out.... Haha, yeah, you got a few laughs in on me, Snow. You know how many women kill to be near me. It's nice you got a cousin of yours who you probably went to the prom with to say some nasty things about me. Lets turn this camera here just a second.
Bobby Beach turns the camera now instead of viewing stuff most people would throw out. Also, a huge poster of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen taking up pretty much the entire wall behind him.
Bobby Beach: You see that folks. That was signed by Kelly Kapowski herself. The pride of Bayside... To my dearest and most loyal fan... Bobby Beach. I tried to get her to appear live, but her agent told me to stop harassing her a while back. It's a long story, climbing trees and binoculars. I don't want to get into that. I'll work it out later.
Bobby Beach seems proud of himself now as he turns the camera back to where it was and he jumps back in front of it. He is looking a bit more cheery after staring at the poster.
Bobby Beach: What a beach babe... But Eric Snow... You went over the line. I don't care about you bothering my Father. He craves attention just as much as I do. He was probably excited that you made such a big deal out of him. I wasn't planning on seeing anytime soon anyways, so thanks for doing that for me. However now going into one of the many gyms I pump iron in is way too far. Way TOO FAR. Of course you are going to find jealous folks running around saying nonsense about me. That guy may have the muscles, but he doesn't what it takes to be a Beach GOD. Laying out on a towel having a nice relaxing sun bathe. Stalking women and taking them back to the hotel room. You know they all want to be there. Also, just so you know and everybody else knows. I don't ask women if I can rub them with lotion. They ASK ME. You kind of got on my nerves and I seem more focused for this match then any other. Usually, I just waste time putting myself over. This time it's personal. You made it personal and you won't like it when I get personal.
Bobby Beach Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition off the floor. He looks as if he going to tear it, but some beach babe catches his eye and thinks better of it.
Bobby Beach: Hmmm... not bad.
The camera catches a glimpse of what he is looking at and Sports Illustrated gets some free publicity.
Bobby Beach: What do you all think? Ahhh, it doesn't matter what you think. These are the kind of babes I'm usually strolling down the boardwalk with.
Bobby Beach gets lost in her again before throwing the magazine down and getting back to real issue.
Bobby Beach: Now, Eric Snow... People are saying I can't wrestle. I think I've proven on too many occasions to count that I can. Hell, last week Chucho found out how well vast I am in submissions. I could make you squeal like sperm whale if you don't watch yourself.
Beach is standing and yelling at the camera again. The steroid moon swings are in full force tonight.
Bobby Beach: Listen here pal. I am going to be the North American Champion whether you or the rest of the planet likes it. I was built for championships, I was groomed for the main event. You were born to pick up trash off the curb as far as I'm concerned... Now coming Champion's Showcase... which I think was named after me for that matter... There is nothing you can do to stop me. I could probably start celebrating now, roll into the ring drunk off my ass, stumble around the ring and walk out champion just like that. However, I was busy. I was very busy before I had to rip you apart live. I was stretched out and getting one of those golden tans that everybody should strive for. I am going to get back to that as soon as I...
Beach turns the camera once again this time to the other side of the room. He pops in a CD. Turns it on and flips through to certain song.
[video=youtube;70psCljGnXM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70psCljGnXM&feature=related[/video]
Bobby Beach: That is more like it... I'm going to make sure I look better than I ever have when I arrive at Showcase. It's not going to be the Showcase of the Immortals, it's going to the Showcase of the Beach Terror. Surf's UP! Get your boogie boards... READY. Haha... Eric Snow... If my last name was Snow I'd killed myself. It's about the bright sun, not igloos where I come from. I'm going to show you what Bobby Beach is fully made of... 100 percent quality. I hope you don't melt under my aura.... Hahahahahaha
The scene ends with Beach turning the Beach Boy song up in the background and heading out of the room. Most likely to mix a drink and get back to sunbathing. Don't you dare come near him.
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