Kayfabe Master Interviews: Episode 1

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The Gipper

The Gipper
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The screen slowly starts on a very handsome and well dressed man in a hoodie and jeans sitting in a amazing set which has unicorns and rainbows and the dead bodies of the people that Reagmaster has defeated which does include two corpses of TonySB and Master is sitting next to some guy who is supposed to be familiar and he has a scarf

Master: Ladies and Gentleman, My name is Reagmaster and I know it's an unusual name and they want me to get a real name but YOU CAN'T HOLD ME DOWN! It's not my fault, my name's Antarctican! Anyway now we got that out of the way, we are here with Joseph Iron I mean Diamond. How are you doing sir?

Diamond: I'm doing well, Mr. Reagmaster.

Master: That is swell, my friend now you were drafted to what in my opinion is the B show. Your thoughts on why the creative guys don't like you?

Joseph Diamond: I don't see it like that, Reag, I'm captaining this ship, the Green Team, I'm carrying them on my back. No one will deny that, but with me and Buster at the helm, I don't think theres anything these guys can't do. And to answer your question about the creative guys not liking me, I have gotten this far without them behind me, I'll lead Green to victory without them behind me.

Master: Very well then Joseph Bronze, Fuck I did it again! I mean Joseph Diamond! Okay so rumors have been going around that you don't like the title design of your newly won European Championship. Is this true or is this like the rumors of Half Life 3 and they will never come true until the day you die then that's the day they probably announce it because that's what normally happens!? Which one?

Jospeh Diamond(his mistake, not mine): Well, your topical references are appreciated, and I have voiced concerns over the design of the European Championship, but I can't confirm or deny anything about a new championship design yet.

Master: I see...So you are definitely getting a new championship design then?

Diamond: I can't confirm or deny, all I can say that you'll find out soon enough.

Master: I mean, when people say that kind of thing. it normally means that it's going to happen so....it's totally going to happen. Cool, I got a exclusive on my first show! Now, there are more rumours going around that you want to challenge a guy from my side of the roster and that man is the guy that runs around like a superhero in other words The Blade?


Diamond: The Blade is one of those guys who I just don't get along with, y'know? He irks me. Him being Iron Man champion, irks me. And since he stands opposite me on Team Blue, I will not hesitate to make set an example of what happens to the members of Team Blue when they go face-to-face with the Diamond Standard, the Old Prince, Mr. Unbreakable himself Joseph Diamond


Master: But why are you messing with a Blade? They could cut you or if you try to pull him too close to your neck, HE COULD FUCKING KILL YOU!

Diamond: Ha, I get it, because blades, the Blade. Blades are sharp. That's good stuff.

I swear we didn't agree to this. How'd this guy even get a job to begin with.

Master: Thank you, I have been working on that joke all day. I haven't got a very exciting life, trust me. Anyway I have noticed in your last promo that you knew that you were going to get the title so tell me, how did you know? Time Machine or something?

Diamond: No, but in my mind and in my heart I knew that there was no way I wasn't walking out with that Intercont-European Championship. European Championship.

Master: Interesting so no time machine? Very disappointing to say the least. Now another thing about your promo, you said to my best mate, Terra Blaze that Mr. Bill Bronson did not exist. Do you still stand by that statement?

Diamond: People keep asking me about this Bill Bronson guy, and to be completely honest, I don't know who or what they're talking about. Do you care to clue me in?

Master: Glad you asked because...

Reagmaster suddenly crouches and picks up a file that was just randomly on the ground because coincidence.

Master:: Now in this file, It has pictures of you being defeated by Mr Bill Bronson, a birth certificate of Bronson and it also has a photo which we took of the loss from the official WWEF 2K League win/loss book. So it shows that you are not undefeated and it shows that my best mate, Terra Blaze was right and I want you to apologise to him very nicely. Your thoughts?

Diamond: Now that can't be right. When did this so called match take place?

Master: erm....5th August 2016?

Diamond: That was this past Friday. There was no match this past Friday.

Master: Was there no matches? I don't keep track but I know he beat you.

Diamond: If you're going to accuse me of losing to someone named Bill Bronson, at least have your facts straight. I debuted 3 weeks ago against Sc@t, and I beat him. Then I beat Jack Rogue. And this past week at Summmerslam, I became European Champion. Still, undefeated.

Master: But you did, if you want to, we can go to the WWEF 2K League Win/loss book. Come on

Master and Diamond goes off screen and through powerful and magical transitions, come back with the WWEF 2K League Win/loss book

Master: Here we go now it was on page 1395, I believe.


Master flips over the pages to 1394 and he finds that 1395 is suddenly missing! dun dun dunnnnnnnnn.

Diamond: Well there you go.


Master: Okay what the fuck? I know I shouldn't have left you with the book while I went to the toilet...

Diamond: Just what are you accusing me of?

Master: Nothing much just ripping the page then giving it to a drug dealer for drugs then giving it to a gang who exchanged drugs with money so you could give it to a guy to feed his family and stuff....But then you killed the man and took the money and spent it on that scarf, you are wearing right now. Like I said, Nothing major.

Diamond: Alright, you've got some issues you clearly need to deal with, so I'll leave you to it.

Freak

Diamond storms off set

Master: What issues? He's the one that has the word Diamond as a last name. Talk about egomaniacs. Anyway this has been episode uno of Master interviews, I guess I have to thank Joseph Copper for joining me. Next time we might have someone else, I don't know. This might not even make it to air. But if it does then don't forget to like, comment and subscribe. I am out of here!

*End of Segment*

People who kind of matter: @CiV @The ReagMaster
 
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