Let's say kayfabe was real; how would you abuse it as a wrestler?

[Crayo]

We all know the horrendously obvious illogical moments that happen in the land of kayfabe can sometimes ruin wrestling if you don't have it in you to look past it, so let's post what we would do as wrestlers to abuse it.

For example: If I was a new wrestler in the back, I'd want to make an impression. I'd attack Cena in the main event for no reason, wearing a mask while I'm doing it, which will inevitably put me into the main event of the next PPV. That means I get employed, I get the most amount of money - they've acknowledged it in kayfabe land that it's more money if you're in the main event - and the most spotlight.

What about you? How would you abuse the ridiculous that is kayfabe?

 

[Snowman1]

Great thread.

Would love to not lose matches because I'm not paying attention to meaningless bullshit going on outside the ring. Like ADR losing to make Bob #1 contender because Ricardo dancing on the table was such a tremendous distraction that Del Rio simply couldn't look away and focus on the match.

 

[Senhor Perfect]

As soon as I won a title I would
A) Retain every match by count out loss
B) Get DQ'd in a no time limit match
C) Hire a goon to interfere on my behalf in a no DQ no time limit match

 

[Nick]

Kick Khali in the nuts as many times as possible

 

[Danielson]

I'd just be the Ultimate warrior basically.

 

[RoyalRaven]

I'd hire the Shield to be my Bodyguards, sleep with the managers daughter, win loads of world championships and bury any new guys who try and stop me.....

 

[Farooq]

No sale.....EVERYTHING!

Sweet Chin Music? You mean Bitch kick!

Get out of submission holds if they're not locked up tight at all.

Get DQed in every title match.

Be Vince's right hand bitch for the money.

Not pay attention to fake entrances or anything else, since if they do interfere I win anyways.

Hire APA or Shield to guard every match.

Attack opponents during entrances.

Climb on the ladder during ladder matches as soon as I come out(if Im the first person)

Use real life stuff to bring opponents down in my promos.

 

[Snowman1]

Not ask for No-DQ matches against a heel faction. #TNALogic #YeahPunkDidItTooButThatKindaMadeSense

 

[F.R.I.E]

I'd just keep doing gutwrench suplexes. And chairshots. And powerbombs through tables. Pretty much everything.

 

[Rogue]

~ No sell against the guys I might have beef with in the back.
~ Never lose a match.
~ Make sure my title is always retained via count out or DQ.
~ Interfere any match I want.
~ Bring up wrestler's real life problems in promos.
~ Main event every PPV

 

[Lady Deathbane]

sleep with every wrestler



...oh wait. was already done. :downer:

 

[Rogue]

sleep with every wrestler



...oh wait. was already done. :downer:

..I'm sorry.:sad:

 

[Lady Deathbane]

..I'm sorry.:sad:

im watching you, shadow :notsure:

 

[Rogue]

im watching you, shadow :notsure:

They took advantage of me,I swear I wasn't the one that started all of it.:mad1-61:

 

[B.Dazzle]

I'd steal the ref shirt in my matches, and pull a fast count.