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- Nov 12, 2013
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So, I figured if I'm going to at least attempt to call this forum home, I'm gonna come out of the gate with a bang!! The following rant you are about to read was written in January of this year (2013) and I'm am posting it because I feel it still holds up today even with the now outdated examples I used in there. I'm also posting it because my feelings toward John are pretty much the same and yes, I know it's all a work, but if I can't sit back and get angry at a TV character for making my Monday's a cringe filled evening, well then I don't want to live on this mostly blue planet any longer.
Enjoy!
"Hey guys, I am very happy to see a wrestling discussion thread. It's been almost two years since I was able to talk about wrestling with other and get their opinions on my opinions.
I will be posting Top 10's, rants and reviews for the most part.
This debut post will be a rant, on everyones favorite face of the WWE, John Cena. (I apologize if I write too much)
Alright, starting with my personal opinion on the person and character. The person, John Cena, that we see meeting sick children and meeting fans all over the world in his signature coloured (we spell it like that in Canada) t-shirts and his "jorts" is someone that I think highly of. Lets face it, it doesn't really matter what he's like at the bar or with his buddies, he does good things for these people that need him. I respect him for that and it's an outstanding thing for the WWE. Now, the person we see on TV, bit of a different story.
For the past 7 years now, this guy has been a constant nuisance and annoyance that has plauged the main event scene. The jokes, the limited skill, the corny promos, the hypcritical attitude (more on that) and the constant burials are unbearable.
I'll start with his in ring ability (or lack thereof). 95% of what we see from him is the usual five minute main event routine that see him using the dreaded "5 moves of doom" to win the match. Now to be fair, anyone that's gotten over before in wrestling in general has had a set of moves that they use to end a match, it's just how things have been since the beginning of wrestling times. You can go down the list, Bret Hart, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Hulk Hogan etc etc have all used a set of moves that would lead to a finish or set up a potential finish to any match. The reason John's set of signature moves is so hated and noteworthy is because, for the past 7-8 years, he's used it to beat everyone and to most fans, it looks awful and totally unbelievable. Beyond the "5 moves of doom", although he has gotten progressively better at it, he is terrible at leading a match. The best recent example would be his main event match with The Rock at Wrestlemania 28, it was very underwhelming. The Rock, as we all know, hasn't been an active performer since 2003, he needed the direction of someone that has been wrestling non-stop for 10.5 years. I'm not saying the match was terrible, but it could have been a lot better, look at what Rock and Austin created in their last match, that was golden. Cena's legitimate lack of skill was the downfall of what could have been so much more. Like I just said, Cena has been wrestling non-stop for 10.5 years in a company that only hires wrestlers they think are the best, when someone reaches that plateau, they are usually very good at what they do. To add on to that, his carelessness when it comes to selling is unbelieveable. I say carelessness because it seems like he's not even doing it on purpose, which makes me think, if he is doing it on purpose, will anyone be able to get over with this guy? He'll take move, after move, then finishing move after finishing move and by the time they have to go home, he's up, mobile and can lift a 500lbs man on his shoulders, totally adds credibility to a sport that has desperately been seeking it for years. Finally, the reason people chant "you can't wrestle" at this guy, is because they're right. Anytime this guy tries a move or doing something outside of his little move pool, it looks like garbage. Dropkicks, Hurricanranas, Monkey Flips, Fisherman Suplexs, Suicide Dives and etc, they look absoulutely terrible. That is a true testament to what kind of wrestling ability he really has.
On to the promos, this is the biggest reason I do not like John Cena. I will use a more recent promo to provide an example. The go home show for the Royal Rumble, John gets to go out for the last quarter and deliver the promo that will cause the viewers to order the Rumble. This promo, was f**king bad. I think what he was trying to do was relate to every portion of the audience to they would be hooked on what he was going to say, this failed. He talked to some kid about gaming, some mom about yoga and some fat dude about the internet... huh? First things first, he already has the vote of the children and females, they love him! So his only option is to talk to us, well let me stop you right there sir. You claim that you don't want or need us to like you in any shape or form, that means we don't care about your promos. So essentially, he wasted about 10 minutes of airtime which most likely casued an epidemic of channel changers. Now, on to the rest of the promo. Like I said, John was given the opportunity to go out on live tv and sell a ppv, did he do this? Well lets see. When a person is put in to this situation, they are usually following a string of promos that have generally gotten the same message across, which is "I'm gonna win this sunday and eliminate a lot of people". Ok, so that message is already put in to our heads, a plethora of main even stars have told me they are going to win on the PPV, a portion of the audience will now buy the PPV. Cena's job is to go out and get everyone else, the people who are either undecided or don't want to spent $45 Canadian on standard definition PPV. This mission, like many other, was failed! He said what everyone else did but with different vocabulary and increased volume in his voice. I just wrote all of this, about one promo, he has had hundreds of terrible promos, that have caused a portion of the audience to cringe uncontrollably and violently for years. I'd like to quickly comment on his jokes. These jokes that he delivers on a weekly to bi-weekly schedule are absolutely horrific. The bathroom jokes, the silly voices and quality in general is enough to make me, a person that misses 0 RAW's and 0 PPV's a year, change the channel.
I'll end this by commenting on what I believe to be a hypocritical attitude. I say that he has this because he has said many times in the past, he does not care if people don't like him and that he does not care about us. Which, you would think is great news, however, it's pretty much a facade. I mentioned that he talked to that fat dude, which was a representation of the internet fans, In his Royal Rumble promo. He does this thing where he'll make comments about insider knowlege and about terms that we internet fans use commonly. A quick example, when he was in a promo or contract signing with Punk and McMahon, he mentioned that if he wasn't allowed to work for the WWE anymore, he would "go work for someone else "BROTHER"" implying he would go to TNA. That comment and many others are John trying to get us to accept him, there is no other way of looking at it. He knows his fans, he knows what they're knowlege of wrestling is, he knows it's limited. The only reason he would ever say something that would go over the heads of his fans, is because he actually wants us to accept him and think to ourselves, "Hey, he mentioned terms that we use on the internet, maybe he's not so bad." Unfortunately for John, he forgets that we don't have the mental capacity of children, which leads to more heat!
One last comment before I end this, he has recently been in a feud with Dolph Ziggler and has had a couple of matches with him. One of the matches they had, John took a super kick, a sleeper, Big E's finisher and a Zig Zag and kicked out of all of them, making those moves look like crap. He then woke up, did his routine and left with a smile, like he didn't get hit once. I used this example because it's recent and I don't have to sound like a hipster when making an obscure refrence. This has been going on for years, this is probably the biggest reason why people hate him, he doesn't have any room for anyone but himself on his throne. Until he retires, there is no future.
In closing, sorry if this is way too much to read lol I haven't been able to rant in a long time, it was awesome . Feel free to leave your own opinions, comments and suggestions, I have no problem with you guys speaking your mind on my opinions.
Expect more posts in the future, cheers.
- Kooldip"
And there you have it, my thoughts about John Cena from earlier this year, unaltered! I'd say they've (my thoughts) pretty much remained the same, I mean I've felt this for 7/8 years now so it's not like my opinion on him has changed much. The only thing I will say is that on WWE's new hottest ticket, Total Divas, he does come accross as a level headed and cool guy, which is admirable considering how overwhelming his life must be. How much of that is for the camera is up to the viewer to decide I suppose, seems authentic to me.
Hope you enjoyed this, I'll be writing new rants in the near future!
Cheers,
Kooldip
Enjoy!
"Hey guys, I am very happy to see a wrestling discussion thread. It's been almost two years since I was able to talk about wrestling with other and get their opinions on my opinions.
I will be posting Top 10's, rants and reviews for the most part.
This debut post will be a rant, on everyones favorite face of the WWE, John Cena. (I apologize if I write too much)
Alright, starting with my personal opinion on the person and character. The person, John Cena, that we see meeting sick children and meeting fans all over the world in his signature coloured (we spell it like that in Canada) t-shirts and his "jorts" is someone that I think highly of. Lets face it, it doesn't really matter what he's like at the bar or with his buddies, he does good things for these people that need him. I respect him for that and it's an outstanding thing for the WWE. Now, the person we see on TV, bit of a different story.
For the past 7 years now, this guy has been a constant nuisance and annoyance that has plauged the main event scene. The jokes, the limited skill, the corny promos, the hypcritical attitude (more on that) and the constant burials are unbearable.
I'll start with his in ring ability (or lack thereof). 95% of what we see from him is the usual five minute main event routine that see him using the dreaded "5 moves of doom" to win the match. Now to be fair, anyone that's gotten over before in wrestling in general has had a set of moves that they use to end a match, it's just how things have been since the beginning of wrestling times. You can go down the list, Bret Hart, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Hulk Hogan etc etc have all used a set of moves that would lead to a finish or set up a potential finish to any match. The reason John's set of signature moves is so hated and noteworthy is because, for the past 7-8 years, he's used it to beat everyone and to most fans, it looks awful and totally unbelievable. Beyond the "5 moves of doom", although he has gotten progressively better at it, he is terrible at leading a match. The best recent example would be his main event match with The Rock at Wrestlemania 28, it was very underwhelming. The Rock, as we all know, hasn't been an active performer since 2003, he needed the direction of someone that has been wrestling non-stop for 10.5 years. I'm not saying the match was terrible, but it could have been a lot better, look at what Rock and Austin created in their last match, that was golden. Cena's legitimate lack of skill was the downfall of what could have been so much more. Like I just said, Cena has been wrestling non-stop for 10.5 years in a company that only hires wrestlers they think are the best, when someone reaches that plateau, they are usually very good at what they do. To add on to that, his carelessness when it comes to selling is unbelieveable. I say carelessness because it seems like he's not even doing it on purpose, which makes me think, if he is doing it on purpose, will anyone be able to get over with this guy? He'll take move, after move, then finishing move after finishing move and by the time they have to go home, he's up, mobile and can lift a 500lbs man on his shoulders, totally adds credibility to a sport that has desperately been seeking it for years. Finally, the reason people chant "you can't wrestle" at this guy, is because they're right. Anytime this guy tries a move or doing something outside of his little move pool, it looks like garbage. Dropkicks, Hurricanranas, Monkey Flips, Fisherman Suplexs, Suicide Dives and etc, they look absoulutely terrible. That is a true testament to what kind of wrestling ability he really has.
On to the promos, this is the biggest reason I do not like John Cena. I will use a more recent promo to provide an example. The go home show for the Royal Rumble, John gets to go out for the last quarter and deliver the promo that will cause the viewers to order the Rumble. This promo, was f**king bad. I think what he was trying to do was relate to every portion of the audience to they would be hooked on what he was going to say, this failed. He talked to some kid about gaming, some mom about yoga and some fat dude about the internet... huh? First things first, he already has the vote of the children and females, they love him! So his only option is to talk to us, well let me stop you right there sir. You claim that you don't want or need us to like you in any shape or form, that means we don't care about your promos. So essentially, he wasted about 10 minutes of airtime which most likely casued an epidemic of channel changers. Now, on to the rest of the promo. Like I said, John was given the opportunity to go out on live tv and sell a ppv, did he do this? Well lets see. When a person is put in to this situation, they are usually following a string of promos that have generally gotten the same message across, which is "I'm gonna win this sunday and eliminate a lot of people". Ok, so that message is already put in to our heads, a plethora of main even stars have told me they are going to win on the PPV, a portion of the audience will now buy the PPV. Cena's job is to go out and get everyone else, the people who are either undecided or don't want to spent $45 Canadian on standard definition PPV. This mission, like many other, was failed! He said what everyone else did but with different vocabulary and increased volume in his voice. I just wrote all of this, about one promo, he has had hundreds of terrible promos, that have caused a portion of the audience to cringe uncontrollably and violently for years. I'd like to quickly comment on his jokes. These jokes that he delivers on a weekly to bi-weekly schedule are absolutely horrific. The bathroom jokes, the silly voices and quality in general is enough to make me, a person that misses 0 RAW's and 0 PPV's a year, change the channel.
I'll end this by commenting on what I believe to be a hypocritical attitude. I say that he has this because he has said many times in the past, he does not care if people don't like him and that he does not care about us. Which, you would think is great news, however, it's pretty much a facade. I mentioned that he talked to that fat dude, which was a representation of the internet fans, In his Royal Rumble promo. He does this thing where he'll make comments about insider knowlege and about terms that we internet fans use commonly. A quick example, when he was in a promo or contract signing with Punk and McMahon, he mentioned that if he wasn't allowed to work for the WWE anymore, he would "go work for someone else "BROTHER"" implying he would go to TNA. That comment and many others are John trying to get us to accept him, there is no other way of looking at it. He knows his fans, he knows what they're knowlege of wrestling is, he knows it's limited. The only reason he would ever say something that would go over the heads of his fans, is because he actually wants us to accept him and think to ourselves, "Hey, he mentioned terms that we use on the internet, maybe he's not so bad." Unfortunately for John, he forgets that we don't have the mental capacity of children, which leads to more heat!
One last comment before I end this, he has recently been in a feud with Dolph Ziggler and has had a couple of matches with him. One of the matches they had, John took a super kick, a sleeper, Big E's finisher and a Zig Zag and kicked out of all of them, making those moves look like crap. He then woke up, did his routine and left with a smile, like he didn't get hit once. I used this example because it's recent and I don't have to sound like a hipster when making an obscure refrence. This has been going on for years, this is probably the biggest reason why people hate him, he doesn't have any room for anyone but himself on his throne. Until he retires, there is no future.
In closing, sorry if this is way too much to read lol I haven't been able to rant in a long time, it was awesome . Feel free to leave your own opinions, comments and suggestions, I have no problem with you guys speaking your mind on my opinions.
Expect more posts in the future, cheers.
- Kooldip"
And there you have it, my thoughts about John Cena from earlier this year, unaltered! I'd say they've (my thoughts) pretty much remained the same, I mean I've felt this for 7/8 years now so it's not like my opinion on him has changed much. The only thing I will say is that on WWE's new hottest ticket, Total Divas, he does come accross as a level headed and cool guy, which is admirable considering how overwhelming his life must be. How much of that is for the camera is up to the viewer to decide I suppose, seems authentic to me.
Hope you enjoyed this, I'll be writing new rants in the near future!
Cheers,
Kooldip