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IWF Inception - DARK MATCH - Duffman vs. Joseph Unitas
- Thread starter JMay187
- Start date
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- Status
Beer
Guest
Beer is Good plays gently in the background as Duffman shows up on our screens. He is surrounded by some smexeh ladies as he sits back onto his chair, kicks back and relaxes.
Duffman: Duffman is here in his plush locker room full of the sexy ladies! Duffman has been told that he will be facing Ray Morrison (boo) and Joseph Unitus (what a fucking cunt). Duffman knows you want Duffman to win but Duffman says that this will be tough competition. Duffman will have to pull off his sweet moves like he does in the bed with these lovely ladies if he wants a chance of winning.
Duffman looks around at his women who begin to laugh.
Duffman: This is the life! Duffman has the life baby! Ray Morrison looks like one tough pistachio, but Duffman is the nut cracker! At Inception Duffman will crack open Morrison’s shell revealing his soft innards.
Duffman nods his head.
Duffman: And onto Joseph Unitus. Well Joseph! You don’t Unit-us. I went there bitch. In all Duffman wishes you all a groovy day, and see you at Inception where I will kick the asses of Morrison and Unitus! Have a Duff!
Beer is Good plays as Duffman nods his head and the smexeh ladies continue to dance around him.
Duffman: Duffman is here in his plush locker room full of the sexy ladies! Duffman has been told that he will be facing Ray Morrison (boo) and Joseph Unitus (what a fucking cunt). Duffman knows you want Duffman to win but Duffman says that this will be tough competition. Duffman will have to pull off his sweet moves like he does in the bed with these lovely ladies if he wants a chance of winning.
Duffman looks around at his women who begin to laugh.
Duffman: This is the life! Duffman has the life baby! Ray Morrison looks like one tough pistachio, but Duffman is the nut cracker! At Inception Duffman will crack open Morrison’s shell revealing his soft innards.
Duffman nods his head.
Duffman: And onto Joseph Unitus. Well Joseph! You don’t Unit-us. I went there bitch. In all Duffman wishes you all a groovy day, and see you at Inception where I will kick the asses of Morrison and Unitus! Have a Duff!
Beer is Good plays as Duffman nods his head and the smexeh ladies continue to dance around him.
-TJ-
Guest
"Flawless" promo
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"Flawless" Joseph Unitas is backstage in a dark room with IWF backstage interviewer Carl Long. Long sitting on a table, while Unitas is next to him on a chair. Long begins to speak.
Carl Long:
Hello, I'm Carl Long, and with me is IWF's newest acquisition......
Carl stops as it seems Unitas picked his nose and pulled out a booger. Carl looks at him with a glare as Unitas is observing his snot. Unitas sees that Long is glaring at him. Unitas shots back.
Joseph Unitas:
What?
Carl shoots back.
Carl Long:
Stop it, what are you a little kid?
Joseph seems confused as he speaks.
Joseph Unitas:
What?
Carl shakes his head as he speaks.
Carl Long:
I'm trying to do a promo here, stop playing with your snot.
Joseph looks at his booger and says.
Joseph Unitas:
Okay fine..... Have it your way.
Carl turns back to the camera to speak.
Carl Long:
Well before IWF Inception airs, there will be a triple thread exclusive for IWF Home Video......
Carl stops as he feels Joseph rubbing his snot covered finger on the back of Long's suit. Carl just continues to speak as if nothing happened.
Carl Long:
It features, Ray Morrison versus Duffman, another new IWF talent, versus this man Joseph Unitas.....
Unitas shouts out, interrupting Carl.
Joseph Unitas:
Hello!
Carl shakes his had as he continues to speak.
Carl Long:
I would like to hear your thoughts on your opponents.
Joseph looks at Long and begins to talk in the microphone.
Joseph Unitas:
My name doesn't sound like Unite us. It's more like Unite-tis. I think Duffman drank a little to much cheap disgusting beer before he did that interview, and his wife looks like my saturday night.
Joseph gets real close to the camera to speak softly.
Joseph Unitas:
And I had to put a paper bag over her head.... I wonder....
Joseph begins to think as he has a big smirk on his face. Joseph talks again.
Joseph Unitas:
That ass hole had shit on it. I limited her to mouth hugs.
Carl shouts out.
Carl Long:
That's enough!
Joseph answers back with a confused look.
Joseph Unitas:
What?
Carl speaks back at Joseph.
Carl Long:
No one wants to hear you're perverted ways.
Joseph answers back with a somewhat confused look.
Joseph Unitas:
I know all the ladies want to. Hey there ladies hit me up at on my twitter account. Unitas64ForLyfe. I'll be waiting.
Unitas winks into the camera as Long puts his head down and asks Joseph another question with a low tone.
Carl Long:
And what about Ray Morrison?
Joseph looks back into the camera with a smile.
Joseph Unitas:
That guy's teeth are fake.
Carl gets a confused look on his face and speaks.
Carl Long:
Wait.... what?
Joseph turns to Long with a determined look.
Joseph Unitas:
You heard me! What kind of interviewer are you? You dumbass get out of here!
Joseph steals Carl's microphone.
Joseph Unitas:
Get out! No one wants to see you....
Carl looks at Unitas and then leaves with a confused look on his face. Joseph then turns his head to the camera with a serious look on his face and talks.
Joseph Unitas:
Ray reminds me of that stray dog that walks around my neighborhood. Weak, defenseless, homeless. So I did what any rightful man could...
Joseph starts to act like he's crying as he speaks.
Joseph Unitas:
I.... I put him down.....
Joseph begins to act more like he's crying as begins to speak again.
Joseph Unitas:
Duffman, you are nothing but a drunk hobo and Ray, you are that stray old dog that can't fight for himself. I will put you two to rest and then you will join my legion of righteousness and integrity.
Joseph sticks his arms straight and tilts his head and breaths softly as he has a big smile on his face.
Joseph Unitas:
It's time to paint my flawless masterpiece of losers, of Duffman and Morrison!
Joseph stands up in front of the camera and puts his hand over the lens. Blacking out the camera as the promo is over.
[/FONT]Carl Long:
Hello, I'm Carl Long, and with me is IWF's newest acquisition......
Carl stops as it seems Unitas picked his nose and pulled out a booger. Carl looks at him with a glare as Unitas is observing his snot. Unitas sees that Long is glaring at him. Unitas shots back.
Joseph Unitas:
What?
Carl shoots back.
Carl Long:
Stop it, what are you a little kid?
Joseph seems confused as he speaks.
Joseph Unitas:
What?
Carl shakes his head as he speaks.
Carl Long:
I'm trying to do a promo here, stop playing with your snot.
Joseph looks at his booger and says.
Joseph Unitas:
Okay fine..... Have it your way.
Carl turns back to the camera to speak.
Carl Long:
Well before IWF Inception airs, there will be a triple thread exclusive for IWF Home Video......
Carl stops as he feels Joseph rubbing his snot covered finger on the back of Long's suit. Carl just continues to speak as if nothing happened.
Carl Long:
It features, Ray Morrison versus Duffman, another new IWF talent, versus this man Joseph Unitas.....
Unitas shouts out, interrupting Carl.
Joseph Unitas:
Hello!
Carl shakes his had as he continues to speak.
Carl Long:
I would like to hear your thoughts on your opponents.
Joseph looks at Long and begins to talk in the microphone.
Joseph Unitas:
My name doesn't sound like Unite us. It's more like Unite-tis. I think Duffman drank a little to much cheap disgusting beer before he did that interview, and his wife looks like my saturday night.
Joseph gets real close to the camera to speak softly.
Joseph Unitas:
And I had to put a paper bag over her head.... I wonder....
Joseph begins to think as he has a big smirk on his face. Joseph talks again.
Joseph Unitas:
That ass hole had shit on it. I limited her to mouth hugs.
Carl shouts out.
Carl Long:
That's enough!
Joseph answers back with a confused look.
Joseph Unitas:
What?
Carl speaks back at Joseph.
Carl Long:
No one wants to hear you're perverted ways.
Joseph answers back with a somewhat confused look.
Joseph Unitas:
I know all the ladies want to. Hey there ladies hit me up at on my twitter account. Unitas64ForLyfe. I'll be waiting.
Unitas winks into the camera as Long puts his head down and asks Joseph another question with a low tone.
Carl Long:
And what about Ray Morrison?
Joseph looks back into the camera with a smile.
Joseph Unitas:
That guy's teeth are fake.
Carl gets a confused look on his face and speaks.
Carl Long:
Wait.... what?
Joseph turns to Long with a determined look.
Joseph Unitas:
You heard me! What kind of interviewer are you? You dumbass get out of here!
Joseph steals Carl's microphone.
Joseph Unitas:
Get out! No one wants to see you....
Carl looks at Unitas and then leaves with a confused look on his face. Joseph then turns his head to the camera with a serious look on his face and talks.
Joseph Unitas:
Ray reminds me of that stray dog that walks around my neighborhood. Weak, defenseless, homeless. So I did what any rightful man could...
Joseph starts to act like he's crying as he speaks.
Joseph Unitas:
I.... I put him down.....
Joseph begins to act more like he's crying as begins to speak again.
Joseph Unitas:
Duffman, you are nothing but a drunk hobo and Ray, you are that stray old dog that can't fight for himself. I will put you two to rest and then you will join my legion of righteousness and integrity.
Joseph sticks his arms straight and tilts his head and breaths softly as he has a big smile on his face.
Joseph Unitas:
It's time to paint my flawless masterpiece of losers, of Duffman and Morrison!
Joseph stands up in front of the camera and puts his hand over the lens. Blacking out the camera as the promo is over.
-TJ-
Guest
Unbelievable
The scene enters the screen with a camera fixed on a wooden door. In the camera’s view, you can see a hand, obviously the camera man’s hand, open the door. The same hand also opens the screen door and the camera man enters the house. The camera man is in the living room, as you see a nice black sofa, a black love couch, a table between the two couches in a “L†shape placement. A Samsung HD 42 inch flat screen TV with a plant next to it. The camera man wonders threw the house, showing all the details on the living room, before entering the kitchen. The camera moves, showing the refrigerator, the electric stove, and the kitchen counter, before finally showing a small, wooden table. At the table you see legs kicked up on the table and a newspaper in front of the camera. Obviously the man can’t be seen thanks to the newspaper. All you can see are the jean pants and the nice shoes of the guy along with the hands, which are holding the newspapers up. You hear the voice of the very familiar Joseph Unitas, but it is unclear if he’s the man or not.
Joseph Unitas:
Due to recent lost of one of the Impact Wrestling Forum Owner’s family member, the IWF Pay Per View, Inception has been postponed for another week. Seriously? Seriously? You got to be kidding me
The man sits up straight on his chair and his legs are no longer resting on the table as the man throws the newspaper down. It is obvious now that the man is, in fact, Joseph Unitas who has a disgusted look on his face. Unitas is startled at the camera, but he soon turns his disgusted look into a welcoming look. Unitas speaks into the camera with a welcoming tone.
Joseph Unitas:
Oh you’re here Welcome to my home I didn’t realize you were here. Well I’m glad that you are, because I would like to get a few things off my chest regarding the recent uh... questionable actions of the IWF Board.
Unitas stands up and out of his chair and walks closer to the camera before stopping. The table and part of the stove are in the background as Unitas speaks.
Joseph Unitas:
All of my fans on Twitter and Myspace are wondering just like me, why it took Montana weeks to realize that Ray Morrison, who was originally going to be booked as one of my opponents at Inception, was already booked to compete in an Intercontinental Title Match... I think that Montana’s General Manager role should be in question, because it’s obvious that he has Alzheimer's disease. I mean how can you forget that you already booked a wrestler to compete at a big time Pay per view like Inception?
Joseph begins to laugh a little before running his hands threw his hair. He then shoots back in the camera with a stinging tone.
Joseph Unitas:
And why is it that Inception was moved... Because our beloved owner had a recent loss in family? That’s selfish. I lost my mom and still wrestled on the same day. Our owner doesn’t even wrestle, and he changes the date of a big time pay per view, because he can’t handle the stress. Pathetic
Joseph stops as he puts his hands together and closes his eyes, as if he’s trying to calm down. Finally after he takes two deep breaths, Unitas looks back into the camera with a sorrow look.
Joseph Unitas:
I’m sorry... I mean you are a great owner... You make the right choices, like signing me... That is the greatest move you’ve ever made and I give you tons of credit for that... I forgive you...
Joseph gives the thumbs up to the camera. Unitas looks to his right a begins to laugh as he turns his head back to the camera and talks with a hysterical voice.
Joseph Unitas:
At Inception, because of our GM’s Alzheimer's, I now face a sad, homeless drunk in a one versus one match. This guy is really sad and he’s not scary at all. “You will not unite-us†What the fuck is that supposed to mean? This guy is a dumb ass and a plain out horrible wrestler.
Unitas shakes his head is disgust as he says softly with his head looking down.
Joseph Unitas:
Our very own Santino Merella... A joke... How sad... It seems the only good Duffman will do is become the first victim and footnote to the historic career that is Joseph Unitas. My skills are unmatched, and my tenacity is without question the greatest. Believe me you will come Inception when I beat that ugly freak one... two... three...
Unitas holds up three fingers as he begins to smirk a little bit. Unitas guides his hand threw his hair as he takes a deep sigh. He then looks back into the camera with another smirk. He talks in a laid back voice.
Joseph Unitas:
My move set is flawless, my looks are flawless, my overall integrity and my mindset when competing in a match are both flawless. My entrance is flawless, my exit is flawless, my voice is flawless, and my wins are flawless. Okay... Everything about me is nothing short but flawless and it will be no different come Inception when that fat, slimy, little piece of monkey crap is destroyed and left to be a bloody mess and a message to the entire locker room about Joseph Unitas. Now that... That will be flawless. Your uncrown champ has spoken. Get out
Unitas looks into the camera with a smirk as the screen slowly fades to black.
Joseph Unitas:
Due to recent lost of one of the Impact Wrestling Forum Owner’s family member, the IWF Pay Per View, Inception has been postponed for another week. Seriously? Seriously? You got to be kidding me
The man sits up straight on his chair and his legs are no longer resting on the table as the man throws the newspaper down. It is obvious now that the man is, in fact, Joseph Unitas who has a disgusted look on his face. Unitas is startled at the camera, but he soon turns his disgusted look into a welcoming look. Unitas speaks into the camera with a welcoming tone.
Joseph Unitas:
Oh you’re here Welcome to my home I didn’t realize you were here. Well I’m glad that you are, because I would like to get a few things off my chest regarding the recent uh... questionable actions of the IWF Board.
Unitas stands up and out of his chair and walks closer to the camera before stopping. The table and part of the stove are in the background as Unitas speaks.
Joseph Unitas:
All of my fans on Twitter and Myspace are wondering just like me, why it took Montana weeks to realize that Ray Morrison, who was originally going to be booked as one of my opponents at Inception, was already booked to compete in an Intercontinental Title Match... I think that Montana’s General Manager role should be in question, because it’s obvious that he has Alzheimer's disease. I mean how can you forget that you already booked a wrestler to compete at a big time Pay per view like Inception?
Joseph begins to laugh a little before running his hands threw his hair. He then shoots back in the camera with a stinging tone.
Joseph Unitas:
And why is it that Inception was moved... Because our beloved owner had a recent loss in family? That’s selfish. I lost my mom and still wrestled on the same day. Our owner doesn’t even wrestle, and he changes the date of a big time pay per view, because he can’t handle the stress. Pathetic
Joseph stops as he puts his hands together and closes his eyes, as if he’s trying to calm down. Finally after he takes two deep breaths, Unitas looks back into the camera with a sorrow look.
Joseph Unitas:
I’m sorry... I mean you are a great owner... You make the right choices, like signing me... That is the greatest move you’ve ever made and I give you tons of credit for that... I forgive you...
Joseph gives the thumbs up to the camera. Unitas looks to his right a begins to laugh as he turns his head back to the camera and talks with a hysterical voice.
Joseph Unitas:
At Inception, because of our GM’s Alzheimer's, I now face a sad, homeless drunk in a one versus one match. This guy is really sad and he’s not scary at all. “You will not unite-us†What the fuck is that supposed to mean? This guy is a dumb ass and a plain out horrible wrestler.
Unitas shakes his head is disgust as he says softly with his head looking down.
Joseph Unitas:
Our very own Santino Merella... A joke... How sad... It seems the only good Duffman will do is become the first victim and footnote to the historic career that is Joseph Unitas. My skills are unmatched, and my tenacity is without question the greatest. Believe me you will come Inception when I beat that ugly freak one... two... three...
Unitas holds up three fingers as he begins to smirk a little bit. Unitas guides his hand threw his hair as he takes a deep sigh. He then looks back into the camera with another smirk. He talks in a laid back voice.
Joseph Unitas:
My move set is flawless, my looks are flawless, my overall integrity and my mindset when competing in a match are both flawless. My entrance is flawless, my exit is flawless, my voice is flawless, and my wins are flawless. Okay... Everything about me is nothing short but flawless and it will be no different come Inception when that fat, slimy, little piece of monkey crap is destroyed and left to be a bloody mess and a message to the entire locker room about Joseph Unitas. Now that... That will be flawless. Your uncrown champ has spoken. Get out
Unitas looks into the camera with a smirk as the screen slowly fades to black.
- Status