Is Making Him Choose Right?

[UndertakerTheGreat]

I just got off the phone with my mom. We got into theology. Long story short my family is all Roman Catholic(except my mom's brother who converted to Judaism years ago). My mom is not as strict as some of the older family members are, but she asked why I never bothered to arrange for my son's Holy Communion. I actually share very few beliefs with Catholism. The main one is that I am very much for liberal rights,& free will. Really the only thing I do have in common with the Catholic church is that I am pro-life...other than that I can't stomach anything they offer.

So I dropped the bomb on my mom tonight. I'm not going to make my son take communion, and my reason for this is that I believe he should choose what religion or none he wants to follow when he is old enough to decide. I can't force upon him a religion that I don't even believe in...so as far as I am concerned I believe he should choose himself. I encourage him to explore other faiths, talk about them, and tell me his opinion. I am not picky about what he chooses be it Christian, Jewish, Islam, Buddhist, or no religion at all. I think my mom is uncomfortable with my decision, but I think I'd rather not brainwash my son into believing only one way is the right way. All that matters in the end is that he is a good person first.

 

[Luke Flywalker]

No, it's not wrong to let your son choose, but I do not think you should hide religion from him to the point that he blindly discovers it. As a child, I was taught things from the bible that were considered to be morally correct in shaping a human life, the same morals you would want you child to follow. Love family, love humankind, love yourself, never be selfish, always selfless, etc.

I've gone back and forth with religion in my life, and I'm currently still trying to work my way back into a healthy relationship with religion.

However, my problem has never been with Jesus or religious text. Just religion, church, etc. has bothered me, and my personal life has interfered with my relationship with religion, but my faith is intact, I would like to think.

My point is though, your son should be brought up understanding religion, but loosely. I think you as a parent owe it to his future to look at religion loosely; teach of Jesus as "a prophet or possibly more" so that whatever religion he chooses, he still accepts Jesus to be the same way as you taught him. Either Jesus was a prophet, or the son of God, at least according to the major religions. But I think you should also find out what he thinks of certain subjects now... if I'm not mistaken, your son is old enough to distinguish good and bad and how he believes the world works already, correct?

I'm not the person to ask to figure out how you could determine the best course for him, but I think you should ready him as much as possible for religion on your own, especially letting him know that religion is very powerful in rough times in life, and it's an excellent way to cleanse the mind in any form of tragedy. I don't think your personal opinion on religion or the church or whatever should come into play with his life though, at least not until he's ready to ask you for your answers.

 

[seX-Power]

I think you did the right thing. I was brought up Roman Catholic and I disagree with almost everything, so I wish I had the freedom to choose. When I have kids, I will let them choose as well. Religion is not something that should be decided for you.

 

[MikeRaw]

That's awesome on your part. Forcing a religion on someone who has no idea about it, and dictating how they'll live their life before they can choose for themselves is stupid. Glad to see you have some sense. Let him choose.

 

[the dark knight]

he's not old enough to explore anything anyway. all he's gonna understand is what gets fed to him by people he thinks are "cool".

just leave him alone...

edit-

just teach him not to bother anyone and before he does anything that involves anyone, he should put himself in their shoes. he doesn't need anything more than that.

 

[Italian Outsider]

I just got off the phone with my mom. We got into theology. Long story short my family is all Roman Catholic(except my mom's brother who converted to Judaism years ago). My mom is not as strict as some of the older family members are, but she asked why I never bothered to arrange for my son's Holy Communion. I actually share very few beliefs with Catholism. The main one is that I am very much for liberal rights,& free will. Really the only thing I do have in common with the Catholic church is that I am pro-life...other than that I can't stomach anything they offer.

So I dropped the bomb on my mom tonight. I'm not going to make my son take communion, and my reason for this is that I believe he should choose what religion or none he wants to follow when he is old enough to decide. I can't force upon him a religion that I don't even believe in...so as far as I am concerned I believe he should choose himself. I encourage him to explore other faiths, talk about them, and tell me his opinion. I am not picky about what he chooses be it Christian, Jewish, Islam, Buddhist, or no religion at all. I think my mom is uncomfortable with my decision, but I think I'd rather not brainwash my son into believing only one way is the right way. All that matters in the end is that he is a good person first.

I'll tell you my personal experience. Consider i live in Italy, land of Catholicism more than any other.
For some odd reason my mother didn't want me to get Baptism when i was born, then Communion and the other christian stuff. When i was about 13 she changed her mind and found her ''faith'' again, and sent me in a Catholic School, where i spent 7 years of my life; it was one of her attempts to get me in the Catholic Church.She also introduced me to some priests, who tried (and failed) to convert me.
I can say, until i was 14-15, i felt emarginated at times, since i never attented religious events, nor catechism, nor activities related to religion (still celebrating Easter, Christmas and so on). It even happened that people after discovering i was not christian started threating me as a stranger.
After joining the Catholic school, my mind changed. The more i got closer to Christendom, the more i learned about it, the more i rejected it.
Not having been instructed to believe in Christ from the beginning, gave me the possibility approach Christendom, evalutate it, and discard it as stupid, irrational ,and unnecessary.
Not sharing a belief didn't prevent me to make a good friendship with some priests (one of them is the school principal) and seminarists, friendships that still last today.
From emarginated i started becoming ''special'', and even better once i joined university (led by the most important catholic lobby in Italy), my ''specialty'' made me surprisingly popular.
Looking back my mother took probably one of the best decision of her life, and without giving details, her decision to join Christendom again had given only unnecessary shit to deal with to me.

 

[★Chuck Zombie★]

No, it's not wrong to let your son choose, but I do not think you should hide religion from him to the point that he blindly discovers it. As a child, I was taught things from the bible that were considered to be morally correct in shaping a human life, the same morals you would want you child to follow. Love family, love humankind, love yourself, never be selfish, always selfless, etc.

Those things can be taught without the bible or religion.

 

[Luke Flywalker]

Those things can be taught without the bible or religion.

Yes, I understand that. Just saying, some people fail to find those morals elsewhere, and in the bible or other religious texts, it covers basically everything you need to teach a person how to grow not to be problematic.

It's a lot easier than teaching the US Constitution...