In addition to being a mom, I go to school full time. I come home cook for my family, do my homework, help my son with his etc etc. Since I have been back to school the house is an absolute disaster. The kitchen disgusts me, and my son's room is so cluttered that I can't see a floor. My son is 11, and is perfectly capable of helping my exhausted ass out. I get nothing...usually by Saturday I'm too goddamn tired to do much of anything. Is it too much to ask my boy to help me out a bit?
I'm so frustrated
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Of course its not, but he is also eleven. I don't think he's mentally developed enough to realize "Hey I gotta help mommy". If you're not much of the disciplinarian type by punishing him unless he gets his room clean, you may need to set up some sort of incentive program. Either through allowance or maybe going out for ice cream if he does a good thing to help mommy at least once a day for five days. That way during Saturday or Sunday you both enjoy an ice cream cone at Ben and Jerry's or something.
Those are just my honest suggestions. I feel for you, even though I don't know what its like to be a parent myself, that's what my instincts tell me are solutions.
Those are just my honest suggestions. I feel for you, even though I don't know what its like to be a parent myself, that's what my instincts tell me are solutions.
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Yeah, my mom just told me something similar about my brothers and I, and she asked me why I never helped out with anything unless I was told. i told her flat out that I didn't really want to and it seemed like she had the situations handled. Had she told me she needed help, I would have helped her.
Then there's the "you want it done right...." scenario. I was afraid of messing things up as well.
Then there's the "you want it done right...." scenario. I was afraid of messing things up as well.
MikeRaw
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Let me ask you this... Have you actually asked him? You never made it clear whether you did or not, which is obviously a key detail.
Asked? More like getting to the point of nag, and plead. My son is a good kid, but he is really spoiled to which I claim responsibility. I had what I believed a good reason. See when he was 7 he went to a sleepover funded by an underprivilaged kid organization. A bully who was nearly twice his age beat him almost beyond recognition. The bully had, had previous violent outbursts towards other kids, but the courts keep claiming he's incompetent to stand trial.The law totally turned their back on us.
Anyways it was the first time I EVER let Daniel go into the care of another person besides my mom, his dad, or myself. I thought it'd be nice to hang out with other kids, and then that happened. The guilt, and inability to forgive myself since led me to really spoiling him. Now I've created a monster in a sense because now he won't lift a finger.
MikeRaw
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Well, I don't know what to say. When I was 11, I didn't do a thing. I did the normal shit, such as make my bed, keep my room respectable, and all that. But I wouldn't help others around the house out. I didnt' do any of that until probably 12 or 13. I guess you'll have to find a way to show him he needs to help out, without threatening to like ground him or anything. Maybe just stop buying him stuff for a while? IDK, I don't have much advice here, lol.
You spoiled him.. That's where you went wrong really. My parents didn't spoil me because we had 4 kids in the family by the time I was 5 so they only really got us stuff for our birthday's or whatever. But we always had to help clean up shit, my parents would lock me in my room until it was clean then they would come "inspect it" rofl... Most of the time we would throw all our shit in the closet then they'd open that and we'd be like maaaaaaaaaan.
Anyways. Lock him in the room.
Anyways. Lock him in the room.
PeepShow
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Reading what I have, I can honestly say that Quintastic pretty much summed it up perfectly if we are being honest.
EDIT- It's Two Scoops now just so you know.
EDIT- It's Two Scoops now just so you know.
Incentives are all well and good, but perhaps when you say clean his room you can enlist your son's help in doing so. Explain to him why and how you do this so that he will learn that it is an important task that needs to be done. At that age telling a child to do something is not as effective as showing them what to do.