I'm confused and must be a giant asshole

[This Guy]

Okay so I know I'm opening myself up to flames and thats fine whatever, but I just needed to state this somewhere publicly and although it concerns Facebook, facebook was not the right place to state this publicly.

Anyone who knows me personally (which well none of you do) know that I'm a pretty caring guy when it comes to my friends. I wish them nothing but the best in life and get excited for them when good things happen in there lives, (friends having children, getting promotions at work, etc) Doesn't matter how long I've been friends with them, doesn't matter if its a friend I see all the time, one I just met, I could see them all the time or not at all. If there has been any sort of friendship connection I genuinely care for them and want them to be happy.

Now I have a friend who lived about 3 hours away. We met when my family was at the cottage one year and she lived in that area. We have always stayed in touch through msn, facebook whatever even after she moved to Calgary shortly after I met her.

We have been friends now for about 3 years. One day she posts her status, I make a comment, I don't recall exactly what it was, but it was nothing insulting, it was just a common comment something like if she had her status as "hard day at work" I commented with "yeah me too". When I logged on again later I had notifications of others including her commenting on her status. When I clicked to see what her and others had said I get her profile page mostly hidden with "You must be friends with ______ to view her profile" I figured it was maybe an accident, and so I sent her a friend request again. A day or two goes by and I check again and the "Friend Request Pending" is gone and its back to the "You must be friends...." So now I know she got my friend request and ignored it. So I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. So I send her a PM asking, what did I do wrong that upset you? And still to date no explination or reply. Worst part is that my managers conference this year is in Calgary and she was going to meet up with me with some of her friends one night.

Now tonight, another friend who I worked with in Burlington, almost the exact same thing. She posted that she is getting tired of this girl she went to school with constantly sending her dirogitory pms and that they never were friends but doesn't get what she did to this other girl to deserve this. This is actually the 2nd time she has had this happen to her. The first time it happened I replied with the comment, that she's better then that, and that if people don't like her for who she is, then thats there loss. She thanked me for the kind words. This time I reply again and I say "as I've said before, your better then what they say. Its there loss if they don't like you for you."

Again I log on again later, says she has also commented on her status and when I click it says the "You must be _______ friend to view her profile"

I don't get it. Am I such an asshole that people just don't want to be my friend anymore? I mean its bad enough that I rarely get to see my friends or talk to them aside from comments and what not on facebook, now they don't even want that either? Its that what I get for being a nice guy?

I don't get it.

 

[Kizza]

It's even better when you get blocked when you haven't said anything.

 

[Hometown Kid]

Facebook is a very buggy site. It's more likely FB just screwed you over and got blocked you on it's own, then got your PMs "lost in the mail". Wait a few days and try talking to them again.

 

[LadyHotrod]

^^ Try this. Facebook has been Blue for me as well, especially the games. They've been fixing a lot of bugs lately so they are obviously having issues.

Also, one of my friends has a messed up profile and it sometimes 'deletes' her profile and then it comes back eventually, it's weird. Nothing is deleted, same posts, same friends, just goes to where you can't click her name and see her profile.

 

[This Guy]

I don't think this is the case. The first situation happened awhile ago. I've sent her quite a few and then even tried talking to her on MSN to which she ignored me and went offline right aways. I'm doubting this is a bug issue. the only issue I have with facebook is sometimes the status bar not showing up at the bottom.

 

[seX-Power]

^^ Try this. Facebook has been Blue for me as well, especially the games. They've been fixing a lot of bugs lately so they are obviously having issues.

Also, one of my friends has a messed up profile and it sometimes 'deletes' her profile and then it comes back eventually, it's weird. Nothing is deleted, same posts, same friends, just goes to where you can't click her name and see her profile.

Wait... you use the games on facebook?

 

[noumenon]

It might be a much simpler problem then you think. I have friends on Facebook that I've added about 10 times. Neither of us have deleted each other, or have no reason to. At one point it even took my girlfriend off of my relationship status and suggested her as a friend to me...lol.
Before you jump to conclusions I suggest if you have her phone number you give her a ring. Facebook is known for being glitchy and weird.

 

[This Guy]

well again the fact that the first friend has ignored my e-mails and msn leads me to believe differently

 

[Quintastic One]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If what you say is true and this girl is blatantly ignoring you despite not saying anything offensive and refusing to tell you what you said that was offensive, she obviously wasn't that great of a friend anyway. This goes for everyone, you don't need overly sensitive and touchy people in your life who are going to explode at the drop of a hat without even letting you know what you did wrong.

One of the hardest life lessons I had to learn through my relationship with Cassie was that no matter how hard you try individually, no matter how hard you work to try and fix situations or make things work, if the other person isn't going to be on the same page as you then it's out of your hands. All you can do is know that you didn't do anything wrong, you did your best to fix whatever situation was going on, and she refused to meet you half way.

None of it is to be blamed on you, This Guy. So never put yourself down with doubt and wondering "why?". You tried to fix it, and she wanted it to remain broken. It's hard to let go, but it's something we all have to do eventually.

 

[This Guy]

yeah I know. I've given that same advice to others. Don't get me wrong I wasn't close to either one of them, so I will get over it, it would just be nice to know why, right or wrong so I don't make that mistake with others in the future.

 

[Quintastic One]

Well that still brings me to my point. You can't prevent it happening to other people because you are not in the wrong. It's her issue to deal with, and you shouldn't have to change how you act or who you are in fear of losing your friends in the future.

 

[monkeystyle]