Guys I Really Need Help From A Guy's Perspective

[UndertakerTheGreat]

I just got off the phone with a guy named Mike that I've been friends with for almost ten years. We've only ever been friends, our connection being that we like WWE. We met at a PPV showing at Hooter's years ago, and became friends. My fiance's getting all jealous because I talked to this guy on the phone. He called to ask about volunteering at the Wildlife Shelter, because he likes animals like I do. Paul got really defensive saying that Mike better not move in on "his" shelter meaning me.
He gets so bent out of shape everytime I talk to a guy. I admit I have more guy friends, than chick friends because I've always been a tomboy who likes boyish stuff more than girly stuff. Paul's jealousy is getting bothersome as if to say I have to cut off all my friends who I've known way longer than him. I never screwed those guys before so why would I now when I am happily committed to Paul?
I've never hidden anything from him, I tell him who my friends are, and he's always welcome to meet them. I am 110% faithful to him, but he just doesn't believe me. Do I really have to give up my friends, or can I convince Paul that nothing bad will happen?

 

[MikeRaw]

How can I answer whether or not you'll have to give up your friends or if he'll end up believing you? I can't predict the future.
Anyway, alot of guys are like that. In soem cases, rightfully so. Just ditching your friend would be stupid, but I doubt it'll ever have to come to that. Maybe invite your fiance to hang out wth both of you one time, to show him it's just friends? Either way, I doubt it'll ever become more of an issue then him having a bit of simple jeolousy. I doubt he'd ever actually make you choose between him and your friends, but who knows...

 

[Hometown Kid]

Guys are just like that most of the time. Generally it's because he's not confident in himself and is afraid of losing you. Or he could be cheating on you which would make him paranoid about having payback come to him. But if he's like most non-assholes it's not because he's distrustful, he actually has good intentions and is afraid.

How long you 2 have been together could be a problem, if it's just starting out, you could probably just let this go for awhile and he'll get over things eventually.

 

[seX-Power]

Guys are just like that most of the time. Generally it's because he's not confident in himself and is afraid of losing you. Or he could be cheating on you which would make him paranoid about having payback come to him. But if he's like most non-assholes it's not because he's distrustful, he actually has good intentions and is afraid.

How long you 2 have been together could be a problem, if it's just starting out, you could probably just let this go for awhile and he'll get over things eventually.

I don't think you're the type of guy who she was looking for an answer from Dylan.

 

[Quintastic One]

Guys are naturally insecure if they feel they're not getting enough "credit" for what they do. Like say an example, its real easy for a girl to be like "credit? pfft what credit? I do the cleaning, the raising of the kids, the cooking and everything else around the house. He gets NO credit or sympathy from me". That's generally how it ends up with arguments, because it turns into a competition. Guys just naturally need their egos boosted. So if he's working a full time job or whatever just let him know how much you appreciate what he does. Sometimes girls fall into the misconception that doing the cooking and cleaning is thank you enough, which it is, but they need verbal recognition of the part they play in the relationship.

If he feels neglected or ignored or that you spend more time with your friends than him, then you guys should definitely plan out a date night that you DONT flake on. Because setting a commitment and not meeting that committment will get you in serious arguments. Just either spend more time with the dude, while also spending time with your friend, or verbally tell Paul how much he means to you and that he will never have anything to worry about with your faithfulness to him and him only. It's the only way I can see defusing jealousy.

 

[UndertakerTheGreat]

How long you 2 have been together could be a problem, if it's just starting out, you could probably just let this go for awhile and he'll get over things eventually.

Tomorrow will be our 1 yr anniversary together.

If he feels neglected or ignored or that you spend more time with your friends than him, then you guys should definitely plan out a date night that you DONT flake on. Because setting a commitment and not meeting that committment will get you in serious arguments. Just either spend more time with the dude, while also spending time with your friend, or verbally tell Paul how much he means to you and that he will never have anything to worry about with your faithfulness to him and him only. It's the only way I can see defusing jealousy.

That's the thing I spend all of my time either with him or my son or both. I see my friends maybe once every six months since I moved. We usually communicate by telephone since we live far away now. I always tell Paul I love him. He admits he's afraid somebody will steal me from him. First of all I am not like that, and second I don't think I deserve to be on the pedestal he puts me on. You've seen my pic on here...I'm a very average looking girl. Nothing glamorous or gorgeous...just very simple. Well I thank you all for the advice, I am going to have a serious talk with him. I have to make him understand that I only love him, and no other guy.

 

[Luke Flywalker]

^You're looking at it from a female perspective, and you're opinion of yourself doesn't mean shit to him. He thinks you're beautiful, you mean the world to him, and you make him happy. Learn of his past, and anything that may have happened which could result in worsening the average insecurity. Men are territorial, we don't like anyone intruding on what is ours.

You're worth too much for him to lose, but men need reassurance just as well as women that we're the one the woman in our life needs and nobody else comes close to impeding on that, no matter how close or long you've known someone else. Just let him know what he means to you, and that he's your best friend, etc.

 

[the dark knight]

be happy he loves you enough he doesn't wanna risk losing you.

i kinda agree with him, never trust another guy :shifty:. i never believed in "just friends" with a female really, any guy who says that is a douchebag. you can decide not to fuck, but its not a man-man or a woman-woman relationship. face it.

as for what you should do, i dunno. if it'll REALLY piss off your finace then just screw mike.

 

[★Chuck Zombie★]

When my wife and I first got together I'd get jealous when she went out with her girlfriends and one of their boyfriends were there. It took me a while, but after giving her plenty of chances and just trusting that she wouldn't fuck the situation up, I got over it and now I don't think twice if she's friends with guys at her work. Hopefully the same thing will happen for you.

 

[Wrestling Station]

Thats what the men usually feel, you should be happy that he really loves you and doesnt want to get the feeling of you being a cheater.

Couples relations are built on trust, so if you break that bond then you will live misrablly with him as he wont trust you anymore due to you not listening to him to quit talking to that friend.

My advice, just end that odd friendship with that guy as you WILL lose your finace if you dont.

 

[Luke Flywalker]

^Not just that, but dude probably feels like the friend is impeding, and making moves. Been friends for so long, and now going to work together? He wants to be the closest male friend you have, and see you more than anyone. He feels like he's being violated by this friend wanting to be around you even more than he already is.