NWA Powerrr (October 8, 2024)
S20E2: “NWA 76: Part II”
Well, after last episode’s train wreck, we’re back with Billy Corgan’s Flying Circus! It’s the second portion of the NWA 76 Anniversary Show, and good news, we get more than two matches in this episode! We get *three whole matches*. God, what did we do to be so blessed? So the episode starts off with a Kenzie Page promo with her going up against Max the Impaler. Max the Impaler is booked like a monster and is a protege of Father James Mitchell, who still has a job after all these years. It’s impressive really. Anyways let’s get to the action already.
Our first match of the evening is… a Liberty Bell Brawl between Blunt Force Trauma (who are managed by Aron Stevens) facing off against The Immortals: Odinson and Kratos. Now you might be asking yourself? What is a Liberty Bell Brawl? Good question– there are no stupid questions when it comes to the NWA. The Liberty Bell Brawl is simply put: a ladder match where the contestants must ring the bell attached at the top 3 times to win. Pretty simple rules, right? I can’t wait to see how they fuck this up. Odinson and Kratos come out first and holy shit, Roidy magoo. Odinson is probably the best built of everyone here, but that isn’t saying much. Billy Corgan admits on commentary that he was inspired to do this match by Vince Russo, which is never a good sign.
Then BFT comes out and apparently their names are Carnage and Damage. I shit you not. BFT look like two masked schlubs that might legit be in their 40s. I’m not kidding, three of the four people in this match look like your average construction worker who are out in the parking lot chatting shit and drinking beer. Then Kratos does a dive onto the outside to start the match. A lot of tonnage is flying out there. Then Odinson decides to get in on the action and also does a dive… and nearly necks himself on the concrete below. Jesus fucking Christ, we’re 30 seconds in and we almost saw someone break their neck.
[Lesson 1 in why big men need to stop doing flips]
So after that, Kratos and Odinson just beat on the two masked boyos for a while. It’s an outside brawl for most of the match. I am not gonna lie, I cannot tell who the fuck is Carnage and who is Trauma. Whoever can help me out here, that’d be great, because the commentary is not helping right now. A lot of chest slaps going on, throwing necks into the barricade. Our first ladder comes out courtesy of Kratos, but Aron Stevens distracts Kratos, and one of the BFT boys takes the chance to attack him. Odinson is taken out for a bit, so now it’s BFT’s chance to beat up Kratos for a while. A ladder bridge is made between the ring and barricade, and Kratos is thrown into it. On commentary, someone gets confused when Billy Corgan asks, “Name a more tough and physical tag team…” in reference to BFT. Which causes one of the other commentators to quip, “... BFT!” Out-fucking-standing. Odinson gets back into the ring and just gets beat up by BFT, and then he’s double hip tossed into the ladder in the corner.
Odinson starts hitting a comeback, and Kratos is also back in it. Kratos and Damage (who I now know is the one with the chest tattoos). They’re just trading punches and it’s boring as shit. I have no clue how this crowd is into it. Holy shit, I just realized. That’s Rodney Mack! Rodney Mack from 2003 SmackDown is still wrestling in 2024 in the National Wrestling Alliance. No wonder he looks like an old ass out of shape foreman. HE’S FIFTY-FOUR. So Kratos German Suplexes Mack, and then Mack counters an avalanche in the corner and gives one to him. Damage flies into the ring and hits a dropkick on Kratos, so now BFT are left in the ring and set up a ladder. Immortals are back in the ring tho, so yeah, they’re fighting.
Kratos goes to try and ring the bell, and Damage opts to give him a powerbomb instead. That looked like it destroyed Damage physically to carry Kratos who might be 350 lbs. Then Odinson gives a Side Russian Leg Sweep off the ladder to Damage for his trouble. Masked Rodney Mack has a chair, but Kratos dropkicks him in the face with it into the corner. Kratos goes to hit Mack, but Aron Stevens goes to hit Kratos, but Kratos is somehow smarter than the elitely educated Stevens, and Aron hits Masked Mack. Aron Steven gets killed by Odinson, and BFT is killed. Kratos climbs up to ring the bell, and… holy shit they broke the bell. The handle they were using to ring it broke off just as Kratos grabbed it and it snapped like a twig after he rang it once. He managed to whip it back and ring the bell again, but the whole thing was FUBAR’d by the third swing. So alas, in a match where the only way to win was to ring the bell three times, the Immortals won it by ringing it twice– Fuck you Vince Russo for inspiring this match.
[Promoters hate this one crazy trick to ruin a finish!]
So our next match is a four way elimination match to determine the new NWA National Title, which, if I do my research properly, tells me… Thom Latimer vacated the title in September to challenge for the NWA World title, because I forget that’s a thing that can happen with the National Title. Pretty fuckin’ lame if you ask me. As an aside, I stumbled across one of the funniest Wikipedia oopsies while I was investigating this title history, and it was for JR Kratos, who was in the last match.
I’m trembling from such wonderful Wikipedia editing skills. Anyways, in this match is Mims, Bryan Idol, Paul Burchill, and Carson Drake.First through we need to have a commercial, which guess what! It spoils the Women’s Title match, because Thom Lattimer is the NWA World Heavyweight champion standing beside Billy Corgan, and Kenzie Page is also the Women’s Champion beside Corgan.
NICE JOB, BILLY. Anyways after this commercial we get a promo from James Mitchell. Sorry James, I guess you didn’t get the memo. Also hilariously, in the background, I notice there was the NWA logos paired with a logo for The CW. Oh such delicious irony.
Can we finally get to this fucking match? Everybody gets an entrance at least. It’s nice to see Paul Burchill still has a job in the world. Out comes Carson Drake, who is acclaimed as being “the most successful man in the NWA”, which is fucking hilarious. This guy comes out with a whole fucking sweater tied around his shoulders and strutting out like, and pardon my expression here, the gayest man on planet earth. He is just resplendent in pink and bright purple here on his gear. The post he does on the apron too… I don’t know whether to be offended or baffled! Mims is managed by Blk Jeez, which I gotta say, what a name. Carson Drake tries to get everyone to shake his hand, but only Idol does, before everyone beats the crap out of him.
This match is gonna be pretty simple tbh, it’s just folks taking turns beating up everyone. The first two to be separate is Bryan Idol and Paul Burchill, and they actually have a nice little technical section, but then it’s Mims and Idol. Mims just beats the shit out of Idol while Drake and Burchill fight on the outside. It’s gonna be hectic to keep track of everything but I’ll try my best. Idol starts a comeback on Mims, until Drake comes in to fight and he gets beat up for his effort. Idol hits a pretty cool move on Mims but he gets eliminated by Burchill after a double underhook DDT. That was nice while it lasted.
Following an ill-timed commercial break, Burchill gets ready for a dive on the outside, but gets tripped by Carson Drake, who pounces on Burchill while Mims waits on the outside, just strategizing with Blk Jeez. Once Drake is knocked outside, Mims takes the opportunity to attack. Burchill is honestly still pretty good for his age, I’ve always had a soft spot for him and think he was fucked over by a senile Vince McMahon (like so many other wrestlers). Carson Drake goes to attack Mims, but Blk Jeez calls him over and the two talk. Blk Jeez basically buys out Carson Drake, and our final two are Mims and Carson Drake. Drake goes over to talk to Blk Jeez, and Jeez slips him a couple dollars, and “suddenly” Drake suffers a leg injury and can’t continue. I’m dumbfounded by this sudden development as Mims takes the easy win to become National Champion. Corgan fuckin’ booked a fingerpoke of doom spot– What a waste of Idol and Burchill’s talents…
[Is he faking an injury or seducing him?]
I really need to get through the main event already, please end this episode. We get a Kenzie Page promo, saying she doesn’t fear death, and also apparently talks about how she watched her dad die or something. She apparently also sleeps with the love of her life, the NWA Women’s Championship… I think they have a word for that: objectophilia. I’m taking the piss out of NWA at this point because really the whole promotion is comical, even if there’s a few guys I like on here. Alright, Main Event time. Max the Impaler vs. Kenzie Page. So it was explained that Max the Impaler was the Women’s Television champion, but vacated the title to face Kenzie Page for the Women’s World title… Max is also the men’s television champion as well. Max also would vacate the Men’s Television title to face Kenzie as well, according to my research… The whole thing is confusing, but it makes sense in Billy Corgan’s mind.
The match starts with Max overpowering Kenzie and just choking her in the corner. The story of the match is basically Max being the big monster against the underdog champion. Kenzie goes for a dive on the outside, but Max just lifts her up effortlessly until they’re pushed into the ring-post by Kenzie. Max hits a forward suplex slam on Kenzie, who starts begging. This is already starting slow and I want it to end. Max the Impaler has a good look at least. It really is just Max beating up on Kenzie until the comeback.
We get another commercial break, and then afterwards, Max spears the shit out of Kenzie, who sells like death. Kenzie starts hulking up because of fan “cheers”, but Max clubs the shit out of Kenzie. Kenzie tries to go for the Kenzie Cutter, but she gets thrown to the ground, and then Max hits a senton on Page. Kenzie’s new strategy is to go for the legs and hit a shining wizard, but then she gets distracted by James Mitchell, and Max runs into Mitchell by accident. Kenzie Cutter, which Max no-sells until a second Kenzie Cutter. Max gets back up a second time, and we get a third one. Kenzie wins, because of course. Max looked dominant but what a wet fart of an ending.
[An actually good spear!]
That was episode 2 of Powerrr on Twitter. Not nearly as bad as the first episode, and tbh there’s hilariously bad moments in this edition compared to the first episode, so it’s kind of a grab-bag here. It depends on if you can find humor in the catastrophe that is the National Wrestling Alliance in 2024. For me, it wasn’t that great, but hey, that’s the point of the Discretion rating, right? Anyways, yeah, a better showing compared to episode 1 which is shocking considering last week had the NWA World Heavyweight Championship match…
DISCRETION