Eric Snow vs. Alexi Arilenko vs. Mr. Bobby Beach for the North American Title

[Kaedon]

Kaedon is Rawerest!!! 4/30/07

Raw starts off with Cena and Vince. Vince says “whats up homie?†Good stuff, Vince has lost it. Tonight we get Cena vs. HBK III. We know it wont be an hour though. Sad story.

First out of the gate is the implosion of Rated RKO. Orton takes the advantage early and just beats the living shit out of Edge in any way possible. Orton sends Edge into the security rail and we go to commercial.

You know instead of doing this play by play stuff, which takes the fun out of watching cuz I have to type, so I’ll just go through some highlights. Edge took over when he made Orton miss and sends Randy into the post shoulder first. Then Edge spears Orton through the ropes to the announce table, knocking out the commentators mics for a few. Edge beats down Orton for a while but Randy comes back. Orton goes to hammer Edge in the corner but gets a snake eyes which busts Orton open. We get some false finishes and Edge ends up winning a helluva match with a spear after failing with the Impaler DDT. This was a damn good match and it shows why Raw has the best established talent in the WWE. That’s not to knock everyone else on SD and ECW, however it was a damn good TV match.

We then get a recap of the Santino Marella thing. Man that heavy accent is annoying as hell, but damn is he well dressed! Does that accent sound Albanian to anyone? So next week we get Santino’s first Intercontinental Title defense! Nice. Who is it gonna be?

RVD goes on a rant about how ECW made wrestling fun again. Blah blah. Which leads to us being told its RVD vs. Umaga. That’s gonna be good, no doubt.

Pirate Vince and yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Shane talk about how much they hate RVD. Shane is gonna manage Umaga? Where’s Estrada? Is he having a baby too? This all leads to a touching father/son moment and then Shane gets to play ECW Champion.

Ooooo Maria. Poor thing has a cold. But she’s still friggin HOT!! Edge mad! EDGE SMASH!!! Anyone ever notice when Edge gets mad, he looks like he is going to shit his pants?

Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

These guys go back and forth all match. They each get a nice set of offense in but Jeff ends up getting the Swanton for the win. Cade and Murdoch are sitting at ringside for commentary. They get on the house mic and applaud Jeff Hardy and say they respect Jeff. They get in the ring to extend their hands to Jeff and Jeff says hell no and gets out.

Cena BARELY escapes with the belt. GG for him. It was definitely a creative way to end the show and keep the feud going. In all honesty, HBK and Cena are the two hottest stars on Raw, despite the smark opinion of the reaction for Cena, so it makes sense to keep this going for as long as possible. Up after the commercial…Umaga and RVD!

Umaga vs. RVD

You know, as much shit as I talk about RVD, the guy knows how to take a beating. I mean really, he took a shit kicking for the first half of the match. He gets some offense in and then locks in a sleeper like a pit bull. He even gets thrown OUT of the ring and then locks it back on when Umaga comes out. RVD’s back has to be killing him after this match….RVD gets his usual offense in after Umaga misses the Hoe Train thing. RVD goes for a 5 Star and Umaga catches HIS THROAT, pulls him to his feet and hits RVD with the Samoan Spike to win. Definitely another good match. I wonder how long people are going to whine about RVD losing….


Cena/HBK III

Oops not yet, HBK is bloodied in the back!!! ZOMG!!! I think I saw a Canadian blonde hair!!!


Back and we see Cena and…..VAL VENIS!?? Anyway, Coach accuses Cena who almost knocks the shit out of him. I wish he would have. Vince says he wants HBK in the ring no matter what condition he is in.


Flair/Carlito vs. WGTT

Carlito finally turns on Flair after a nice match. Flair gets up and starts to hammer Carlito up the ramp!


Edge is now found bloody. Coach suspects Orton now. Who dun it?!


It’s a rare Raw appearance by MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNADAY!!! Kennedy says he didn’t dun it! Kennedy says he is going to cash in his chips at Wrestlemania 24!!! How are they going to do this!?


Kenny finds Orton taken out!! Ok, maybe Cena did to it….


Vince knows who dun it…He is S-M-R-T!


Candice and Mickey vs. Melina and Victoria again

Pretty standard cat fight. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I love boobies.
Candice pins Victoria!


More whining by the ECW originals. Shut up! Elijah Burke and CM Punk are better than you!!!


Cena tells the shmuck causing all the problems to bring it. WOOO IT’S KHALI!!! Khali beats the shiat out of Cena and then hits him with the d00ble choke slam. There you go, Cena got laid out. I honestly don’t think this will last long. They wont put Cena/Khali as a main event. Yes, they used Bob Holly, but he can actually wrestle…


Well it was great till we found out who did it, but I still love a good game of who dun it. Raw gets a B- this week.

Before I go, I wanted to tell you to go read Soulpower’s ECW Column because he’s the man. Also go read my No Smark Zone in the WWE Forum!!!

 

[Soulpower]

It was an awesome show... Until the end. After all the build I was hoping for someone to return, or even for Cena to turn heel. Anticlimatic, to say the least. The rest of the show was good and we got some honest to goodness wrestling on RAW. Wrestling on a wrestling show, what a concept!

Good review by the way.

 

[The Wrestling Addict]

Roleplays for this match due Thursday, September 1, at 11:59 PM Eastern Time.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

The scene opens at the resort that Bobby Beach is staying at to prepare for Full Throttle. He's relaxed in a beach chair, loungin' around. He is working on a tan it seems when Dino stumbles in with a cooler almost spilling it everywhere. He sits into a beach chair next to Bobby. Dino is sitting up looking over at his boss.

Beach notices that his sunlight is being blocked by something. He opens one eye to wonder what the disturbance is. Beach sits up now recognizing that it's over-sized friend. He doesn't look too happy, though. Bobby stares him down for a second before a smile crosses his face. It's time to party.

Bobby Beach: Oh my god... You did it... You beat Eric Snow? I am right, ain't I?

Dino Colada: Yes, boss...

Beach: I can't believe it. I haven't beat him one on one... You know what this means, right? I am the rightful heir to the championship... You actually did exactly what I told you to do.

Dino: Well, I just did what you asked. Beat him down and I ran into a victory along the way... What do we do now?

Beach: What we do now, Dino... Is bask in the fact that you weakened the champion... I am going to walk out of Full Throttle with the belt that was mine in the fist place...

Beach looks over and notices the ugly looking cooler laying in front of them. His expression changes slightly.

Beach: What is this monstrosity? We are at a resort, Dino? We aren't a bunch of a hillbillies in the woods. We have resort staff at our feet. Throw that damn thing somewhere before my mood changes...

Dino does as he was asked. He tosses the cooler about 30 yards over a gate into some surrounding bushes so normal can't look in at celebrities.

Dino: Alright, boss. I took care of it. I figured you wanted to party...

Beach: Of course, I want to party... This is a reason to party... We can turn this entire poolside area into a party... You get what I'm saying? You need to act like higher class if you are going to roll with me. Just watch.

Beach gets up followed by Dino as they bother the nearest manager. They slip him a 20 dollar bill saying something about there is more where that came from.

After a few moments over the speakers that were playing a nearby radio station we hear that all the drinks will be on professional wrestler, Mr. Bobby Beach's tab but that means that Beach Boy songs will be played constantly throughout the evening. A mixed reaction is heard from the people in the area after the announcement.

[video=youtube;nC2gZMNkyJo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC2gZMNkyJo&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AVGxdCwVVULXfw0ZTMOkbKBy_RdCRHLU0l[/video]

Beach and Dino return to their beach chairs which now have girls waiting for them there. They causally sit back down as the girls hang on them.

Beach: You see this how you party, Dino? Beach style... See these babes... They cling to me... Before I met you, your idea of a bash was fat slobs drinking cheap beer in the woods, apparently. I'm glad I pulled out of that bouncer gig you had... Isn't this much better?

Dino: Yeah, boss... but you shouldn't you be worried about Full Throttle?

Beach: Dino... since you met me do I ever do anything besides this? This is how I get ready... This is how I got to be where I am at today... I wouldn't be where I am at if I didn't act like this... Understand?

Dino: I guess....

Beach: Good, now where is the damn staff... I'm not going to pour myself a drink... Dino go find somebody...


Dino gets to his feet not really knowing what is going on. He seems to be having a good time as he dances out of screen for the moment. The ladies surrounding the area all come closer to Beach. A little flirting is seen as the beach babes start laughing at Beach's jokes. However cheesy they may be.

About a minute later Dino returns followed by a staff member a few seconds later with an entire bottle of Tequila. Beach looks rather impressed as the staff member pours him a nice size class of it.

Beach: Good job, Dino... This is about to take off like high arching tidal wave that a surfer can't handle.

Dino: Get your boogey boards, ready?

Beach: Damn right, Dino... damn right.

The camera starts to fade out as a couple babes leave Bobby's side to join Dino. Both are swaying to the Beach Boys as it's blasted way too loud. The party is on... You can't stop it. ​

 

[Ben]

The Scene is a local hotel where Eric Snow has gathered for what he's Calling a big move that will cement his place as the North American Champion. The marque on the hotel sign sheds some light on what Snow has in mind for the day.

Making your way inside past the front desk and through a few hall ways there a conference room where Eric Snow is seated at a desk.

Management really must love me, didn't think I was going to get a camera crew for this. But it makes sense seeing as how I'm a ratings juggernaut that they would want to document my every move, actually suprised I haven't gotten a spin off yet.

Snow pauses for a second, as it looks like he's actually thinking about what having his own show would be like, he shakes his head laughs, and a smile breaks out across his face.

Anyways on to the business at hand. There's no doubt I'm a great champion, but at this point I decided I needed to make a change to the infrastructure that is the Eric Snow Empire. It's obvious that I'm a fighting champ, but even with me pissing greatness, I've got 3 different jerks trying to take me out. Beach I can deal with, that I proved, but he's got Free Willy stalking me like a Chinese Buffet, and the spoiled Russian Bitch is on me just as much. Hell yours truly even lost a match last week, granted my opponent had a 300lb weight advantage, but still as you know I don't like using. So today I decedied it would be a good idea to get some....backup, level the playing field a little bit to ensure that I have a LONG reign as champion. I'm picky though and not only do I need someone I can trust, but someone that I won't mind spending some time with. So let's get this rolling send in the first guy.

Snow prepares for his first interview of the day, when he notices Dino Colada in the corner sitting in a chair.

Hey big guy, you lost? The IHOP is about a block down, this is a hotel

I'm exactly where I need to be, we know what you up to and Mr. Beach sent me here to check it out.

Nothing to see here bud, I'm the new American Idol judge and this is the first round of auditions.

First off watch your tone with me I'm not stupid, we know your looking to hire some muscle, and I'm not leaving unless you want to make me?

Ah, you caught me, didn't think that 3rd grade education of you would make you a modern day Columbo, but looks like you figured out what I'm doing here.

Yea, like I said get on with your little show, I'm not leaving.

Settle down, looks like the last thing you need is to get your blood pressure up. Your welcome to stay and watch and I might even include you in the fun.

Snow walks away from Dino and makes his way back to the desk.

Call in the first guy, I want to get this thing going.

The door opens and out walks the first audition of the day.

Yea, I'll take a Sprite and a cup with no ice.

I don't work here I'm here for the audition.

You do know what this is for right? I need someone to have my back,, to take care of problems as I see fit, you no bigger than the shit I took this morning. I'm not interested move along.

I'm not taking no for a answer here, it's been my dream to be a pro wrestler since I was a little kid and this is my chance. I may be little but I have a lot of heart and I never give up and...

Blah..blah...blah, save the movie of the week story for someone who cares. You got heart prove it. See this bulbous man in the corner picking his nose.

Snow points to Dino.

Go over there and knock him out.

The young man looks over at Dino with a scared look on his face, but still makes his way over to him.

Can I help you little boy?

The young man raises his fist to punch Dino with a scared look on his face.

I'm going to knock your butt out....you big....

The young man drops his hand and runs out of the room.

Thank's Dino....NEXT!

Making his way through the door is the 2nd applicant of the day.


Ladies and gentleman, my name is Hero, and not only am I here to save the day but I'm here to be your sidekick Mr. Snow. The Robin to your Batman, you need someone to get your back and that's me.

Eric Snow breaks out in laughter at the site of this guy.

Are you serious right now? Did you mom make that costume for you? I see the minivan is still at the front, better make your way out there.

Hah, hah. I can take a joke Mr. Snow, but if where going to be partners I'm going to need a little bit of respect out of you.

First off you don't tell me what you need I do that I'm the boss and what I need you to do is get the hell out of here and get back to your basement.

Your not going to get rid of me that easy, I'll fight any guy in here and take him out to prove my worth.

Hero makes his way over to Dino, and shoves him out of his chair.

Bad move Superman

Dino throws one punch, knocks out Hero, and puts him on his shoulders carrying him outside and dropping him in a dumpster and making his way back to his seat.

You sure you don't want to interview for the spot Dino? I'm a hell of a lot more fun than Beach.

I don't associate with Assholes Eric, sorry. Get back to your playtime.

Jesus christ I need a drink...NEXT

The 3rd applicant makes his way through the door:

I talk first, your not going to punk me like those other 2 bitches because guess what? I'm not a bitch. Names Kevin Calvaco and I've worked security for the last few years. I wrestled and college and I've trained in Muy Tai kick boxking. Basically I'm trained in kicking ass.

Snow has a huge smile on his face.

Shit, best I've seen so far today and it looks like you have a backbone to, like someone like that. So what is it going to take to get you on Team Eric Snow?

Money Talks and Bullshit walks, I want to get payed and that's why I'm doing this. Give me a piece of paper I'll write what I want and then it's a yes or no from you.

Calvaco writes on a piece of paper and hands it over to Snow. Snow grabs it looks at the paper looks at Calvaco and then shakes his head.

We can do that? Can you start today.

If your paying me today you bet your ass I can start today.

Ok your on the clock. See that guy sitting in the corner, show me how you would take care of him. There might be a bonus in it for you if you impress me.

Calvaco looks over at Dino and makes his way over to him stopping to grab a folding chair. He runs up to Dino with chair in hand and NAILS HIM WITH A HUGE CHAIR SHOT RIGHT TO THE HEAD.

Holy shit man, I just wanted to take care of him, I didn't want you to kill him.

Snow makes his way over to Dino who is knocked out and busted open.

That's how I take care of problems, and he's not dead he's just knocked the fuck out.

OK then, well it looks like your going to come in handy. Want to grab a beer?

You buying?

Scene ends with Snow and Calvaco leaving the conference room and the camera crew attends to Dino.

 

[The Boondocks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a minute. Relax. Not everybody finds the doctor so important. I'll be there when I get there.

Alexi hangs up the phone abruptly on whomever he was talking to. He is dressed in a cut off tee, athletic shorts, and Nike running shoes. He's driving in a car we haven't seen him in before. It's a white Ford Mustang Convertible. He is pulled up to a local San Diego Doctor's Clinic. He sees, out of the corner of his eye, Carl Berg.

So I see you tricked my wife into loaning you my car.

If that stupid masked man hadn't trashed my Audi, I wouldn't have to wait a week for a new one to be brought to me.

Carl looks sternly at Alexi.

And that stupid masked man wouldn't be harassing you had you taken my advice and been less of an asshole on the mic.

Relax. I think I'm getting over perfectly fine being a dick. I mean, so much as to where Curtis Ange has recognized my phenomenal talent. I'm facing off for my second opportunity at a title now since I took your advice and put my own twist on it.

Exactly. You put your own twist on it. If you had taken it to the word, you would be the top guy. You would have won that Rampage title and been fighting with people like Charlie White. You'd be on the same level as Syn, Reaper. You would be on that Full Throttle poster.

Alexi pauses, as if he has an epiphany.

Whoa. Reality check.

And what is that reality?

Alexi grins as he looks at Carl.

You're fired.

Wh-What?

You're fired. You think that I'm doing everything wrong, you think that you could have me doing better. You constantly belittle me because I'm foreign.

I have not belittled you! What are you talking about?

And obviously you don't know what it feels like to be fired. Well here's your first real experience. Carl, get the hell out of my face, take your damn car, and take that mute idiot N with you.

Carl looks dumbfounded, as he gets in the car and leaves. A nurse steps out of the building, and looks at Alexi.

The doctor will see you now.

Alexi turns and walks into the clinic for his appointment as the camera fades out.

---------------------------------------------

The camera returns as Alexi walks into backstage WKF. He approaches Ricky Ranson, who seems to be waiting for someone.

Uhh, can I help you, Alexi?

Excuse me, can I bother you for an interview?

Um, sure...Can I get your--

No. I'M going to interview YOU.

E-excuse me?

I'm going to interview you. But look at it more of a test.

Alexi chuckles.

Uh, okay.

Patrick, can you tell me what my thoughts are on firing my manager?

What?!

Alexi looks at him, bares his teeth, and raises a fist.

Right, right. Umm, you were sorry to see him go but it had to be done?

Are you asking me or telling me?

Telling you?

Alexi gets a pissed look on his face.

Telling you! Telling!

WRONG! How I really feel is that he was too controlling. He was a poison to me. He tried to tell me what to do, and I can't have someone do that. I'm independent. So I fired his sorry ass because I need to roll on my own again. See, that's how you get a question right.

Right, okay.

Alexi stares at Rick blankly.

Well Patrick, it's time for the next question. Seeing as you don't know what I felt about firing Carl, can you tell me how I feel about my match this week?

Well you're facing Bobby Beach and Eric Snow. They each have bodyguards, and you have none. So I think you're scared.

Ricky gets a smug look on his face, and it quickly falls to dismay. Alexi picks Rick up and slams him with the AA Spinebuster.

Well he's a complete buffoon. But as Patrick stated, both of my opponents have help. But here's the thing. I don't need help. Alexi Arilenko. The Russian Nightmare. I make your dreams become hell. I will bring you down and I will stand tall at the end. Eric, Bobby, you two are about to be beat by the most intense, dominating Russian Superstar to ever grace the American soil. Are you ready? Alexi Arilenko is coming to crush you. You'll meet the mat with my Powerslam, or my Spinebuster. No matter how I do it, you will fall, and I will win the North American Title. Do you hear me? I. Will. Win.

Alexi looks at Ricky Ranson, laughs, and gets serious at the camera. He is grimacing menacingly as the camera fades out.