D'Z watches Raw (begrudgingly)

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Let me qualify this commentary by saying this: I was watching this live last night and was unimpressed to the point that I turned it off. So I am coming into the show with an already very negative perspective of what to expect. If you are looking for a peaches and rainbows outlook on last night's show I suggest you look elsewhere. :

Pre-show video package: reminds of that Big Show is a fat oaf. Awesome.

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Teddy Long is the GM, and we get SuperCenPunk vs Jericho/Dick Butt in the ME. How very typical. This is what I hate, this shit is all filler. Something big desperately needs to happen at MiTB to re-spark my (and I'm assuming many of the readers) interest.

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Cena. And these Mexicans love him. Oh boy. I hear the first line and know this will be awful "What an excited bunch we have here tonight!!!" :finger: :finger: :finger:

'Lol gee wiz guys I sure got my ass kicked by the Big Show last week! boy oh boy sure hope I can somehow overcome these badasses and win MiTB!"
:finger: :finger: :finger:
::fast forward until someone else comes out::
It's Bryan :facepalm1:
These Mexicans aren't very smarky. This shit is boring. CM PUnk!!! Marking!! HE will spice thigns up!!! ity: sarcasm.The content in this boring promo combined with me knowing the outcome = fast forwarding time. Okay, here's Jericho. I'll hear what he has to say and skip the rest. Jericho putting Daniel on blast for his lame catch phrase. I can dig this.

Shut the hell up.. not gonna lie, that put a smile on my face. :jeritroll: . Oh God, Jericho running through his catch phrases makes my nips hard. annnnnnnnd here's Kane. Where did my remote go? Flash ahead and here's Big Show burying everyone :dawg: . WWE, you rule.

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Random as fuck 8 man tag match that does little more than remind us all how far Cody Rhodes has fallen in recent months. Who wants to see this shit? How long has it been since we've had a heel champion? 2 months? Let me skip ahead to the inevitable, a stupid finish. And yes, there it goes. All of Otunga's teammates leave him to be buried. And of course Brodus needed an appearance, because the point of this segment was to shove as many wrestlers that nobody cares about as possible.

And the cherry on top of the facepalm Sunday. All faces dancing with Brodus, and of course let's not forget the kids. I never thought I would envy Hellen Keller, but at least she would have been spared ever seeing/hearing that segment.

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ADR with his typical 'let me recap what I've done over the past two weeks' promo. And let him put in a dash of destiny and voila it's the same thing we've been hearing for 2 years. And WWE wonders why this guy can't get heat. BUT BUT BUT WE LET HIM WIN THE RUMBLE, MITB, THE WWE TITLE X 2, :yuno: get heat ADR??? Fuckin geniuses I say

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When this Shane/Vince flashback is the far and away best part of the first 37 minutes of your show, it's a tell tale sign that you should go fuck yourself WWE.

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ADR's entrance always a bright spot on this awful show. Too bad about what is going to happen next. oh look, it's Sin Cara!!! This should be a great match!! And in front of a ton of Mexican fans! They will eat this shit up! Listen to that pop for Sin Cara!! Oh wait, there will be no match because ADR is just going to hump his leg and (I'm assuming) write him off TV for a while with an 'injury'. Why is this the ONE thing they do to try and get ADR heat? It might get him some boo's in Loredo, Texas, but nobody anywhere else will care. They didn't care when he injured Mysterio, they didn't care when he injured Christian, and they still won't care when he inevitably cuts a promo next week bragging about injuring Sin Cara. WWE makes life tough on an ADR mark such as myself.

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Bryan/AJ. AJ as the special guest ref, sounds Blue. Please let this storyline end at MiTB for the love of humanity.

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Please let Heyman have something worthwhile to say. Well, of course not. All he has to say is Brock will tell HHH in 3 weeks that he will fight him at SS.

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Kane/Show and Sheamus/AJ vs ZIggler/Vickie.... any logical person would turn the show off at this point..

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Vickie slapped Ziggler on SD???? Please break them up already.

Nothing good can come of this match besides more fuel to the break up fire.

This match is just more of the same from DZ/Sheamus. I was looking for a gif of Sheamus to recap my feelings and failed, but I did find this, which made me lol

Vickie/AJ now. At least it was quick. Oh god. The only thing worse the DB yessing, AJ yessing. Jump off a bridge. More AJ backstage. fucksake. Oh no, Punk wasn't paying attention and now she's butt hurt. She'll probably screw him over at MITB (I'm sure is what you marks are expecting now :burns: )

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only 50 minutes left, I can do this :urm:

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Slater time. Thank God. We need a Slater smiley. Doink? First of all, that isn't the real Doink kids. Second of all, Face Doink is terrible. He was good as the evil clown that scared kids, but this just sucks dick. I was expecting a watchable segment with DDP, and instead I get this. Once again, theme of the night :finger: WWE. Slater won??? Nice. Now we get DDP, I forgive you WWE. That theme is terrible compared to the real DDP theme though http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4R-zyC4skI . I had wondered if DDP would be able to work a match, even a very quick one. I'm guessing not since this is how they went about it.

once again: Ace Crusher >> Diamond Cutter >>>>> RKO

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Good Guy Cena segment: because no Raw is complete without it.

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Kane/Show. I'm not watching this. Big Show won, shocking.

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Eve. : . Teddy knew better than to cover up her puppies with that name tag.. first thing he's ever done right by my estimation. Oh ffs, can we not have a SINGLE backstage segment without AJ? Eve >>>>> AJ.

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Tensai time. Thank God, this will save this terrible show. Oh cool, he's going to squash that jobber Tyson Kidd. Rainman will be pleased.

oh, nm, it's a roll up finish. maybe they will actually push Kidd. : .

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Dick Butt/Jericho backstage. This could be watchable. lol Jericho. Stupid jacket?? Look at your jacket, what is that, maroon?? Oh God, that went downhill quickly. Who writes that trash? I want to strangle them

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Good Guy John doesn't want any problems with Punk. What a good guy he is!

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loooooool. Tensai takes out Kidd. Push derailed. What a joke, of course a guy like Kidd can't have nice things in #wwelogic-ville.

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Jericho entrance: prediction: this entrance will be the best part of this ME.

Did I just hear a 20 man battle royal on SD tonight? lmao, WWE just loves filler bullshit this summer. This ME is following the typical ebb and flow to every random face A + random face B vs random heel A (feuding with face A) vs random heel B (feuding with face B) tag main event ever. There go Cena/Jericho, so soon AJ will be here. Punk/Bryan care as much about AJ as I do it seems. 0%. This is fuckin terrible. no comment on the end of the show besides one word: pathetic.

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Rating

:finger: /10

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also sorry about any spelling/grammar errors and the lack of jokes and excessive bitching. This shit was just awful though, and not in a good way where it was so awful I was able to make fun of it. It's just boring and played out.

 

[Snowman1]

That's the worst thing with the product today, we've all bitched about it so much that it just feels pointless now... even that's all played out. And the worst part is, if we actually get storylines to replace all this filler crap, AJ/Embrace the Hate/the Summer of Punk have taught us that the show will somehow get worse with storylines everywhere. Where's the optimism?

Oh well... at least Tyson Kidd showed he had all the skills needed to win the Divas Championship.

Good review bud, making the best out of there being nothing to say.

 

[Aids Johnson]

Best part of this deal was the TNA gif above me, jesus that's sick. Good review dolph's, as all i can say is fuck this and shit that, and you put it all into faces, gifs, and links. Always a good read.

 

[Crayo]

Meh. You shat on the good parts of the show too, I should have predicted that.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Meh. You shat on the good parts of the show too, I should have predicted that.

The thing about the good happenings on a Raw show is that they are wrapped in bullshit. Jericho gets a few good lines in, but it comes in the midst of an awful 6 man clusterfuck opening segment, or is topped off with Bryan being the yes douchebag.

Of course though you look for any silver lining in the midst of an awful show and get butt hurt if I don't run to the nearest mountain top and sing WWE's praises like they deserve to be asslicked for doing one tiny good thing while giving me 10 awful things

 

[Asskicker]

@[Dolph'sZiggler] You should read Stars of X or Warzone in Fed X. I wonder if you would consider that to be a good sho.

 

[Aids Johnson]

Oh snap player, on the fav 5(3)....I did enjoy a couple segments but it's like watching a really bad movie with two parts that you would enjoy better if you skipped the movie as a whole and just watched the two parts as clips on youtube.

 

[Crayo]

The thing about the good happenings on a Raw show is that they are wrapped in bullshit. Jericho gets a few good lines in, but it comes in the midst of an awful 6 man clusterfuck opening segment, or is topped off with Bryan being the yes douchebag.

Of course though you look for any silver lining in the midst of an awful show and get butt hurt if I don't run to the nearest mountain top and sing WWE's praises like they deserve to be asslicked for doing one tiny good thing while giving me 10 awful things

You hate yes' because it's mainstream. You want to look cool and hate on it, that's fine, I don't care. But wouldn't you prefer the two most popular catch phrases in WWE to originate from Austin (WHAT) and Bryan (YES) instead of the smurfs they try to force on us? Would you prefer YES or "YOU CAN'T SEE ME", or "FELLA, FELLA". Give me a break, one chant and you rant on it 3-5 times. It's likelly this yes chant is the only reason Bryan - one of the best things in professional wrestling atm - is still in the ME, you know how much Vince shits on wrestlers he didn't make.

Anyway, there was a decent amount of good. Jericho/Bryan backstage was great but you shit on it because Jericho said maroon? It was a funny line. The "YES" and "Again" part was fucking gold. Jericho/Bryan have a ton of chemistry. The opening segment made Punk and Cena look like blueberries and Show/Kane do that themselves, so the wrestlers looking good out of it were Jericho and Bryan - awesome for me. No one cares about Big Show any more to worry.

Slater and Kidd aswell make it a watchable show at the least. I stand by my opinion that if it was TNA this would be a 4/10 show or something but whatever.

 

[Matt]

:haha: i see the quality of the show effects these reviews commentaries.

Lets hope next weeks raw is better

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

You hate yes' because it's mainstream.

Stopped reading right there. You bitched just yesterday about ME assuming why you felt a certain way in the Pirlo discussion, and then turn around today and do the same thing you goddamn hypocrite. I've hated yes from the beginning and that's a fact. I've always fast forwarded his entrance because I hate listening to it. Bottom line, Idgaf what you think about my commentary, my opinions or these threads.

 

[Crayo]

Mainstream. Must hate on mainstream.

Read the rest, no doubt you did anyway but have nothing to reply but it's worth it.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

I did, and I didn't hate the Jericho 'maroon' line, I enjoyed that part. It was the yes/again part that sucked tons o dick. The rest of your post is pointless rambling and more of you assuming why I don't like certain parts of the show like the hypocrite you are.

AND I QUOTE

I hate it when you make up crap about why I have my opinion.

fucking hypocrite

 

[Crayo]

I did, and I didn't hate the Jericho 'maroon' line, I enjoyed that part. It was the yes/again part that sucked tons o dick.

How did it suck dick? Go on I'd love to hear the explanation. This gimmick is getting so old.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

It was annoying. I have zero tolerance for the yes bullshit and Jericho being sucked down to Bryan's level was cringeworthy.

Just stay out of my commentary threads in the future, it's pointless to discuss it with you since you are just making baseless assumptions about why I don't like parts of the show. I won't be responding to your bullshit from this point forward.

 

[Snowman1]

Haters gonna hate... He was keeping his review shortish, the Slater win didn't seem to excite him, and he's not a Kidd mark. If I felt the same way and wrote it in my little review thread, you'd praise it.