The background is really compelling, and the font works well. However, it falls apart with the render. The multiple render effect doesn't really work. As Defiant said, the lighting just doesn't work, and a gradient on it would definitely help the flow. Good but would be great if you played with the render.
If I had to suggest anything, I'd shrink this down, drop it to one render, and a light black/white gradient to the render and play with the lighting.
7.5/10.