Cleveland Browns sign new coach, mistakes him for Austin

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Stopspot

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It was awkward for everybody when Mike Pettine was accidentally hired
as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns

Despite being the last of seven NFL teams to fill their head coaching vacancy, the Browns may have jumped the gun. Apparently Mike Pettine, the defensive coordinator groomed by Rex Ryan who had spent his previous season in Buffalo, was only hired because the Browns mistook him for Stone Cold Steve Austin.

"When I met with this guy, all I could think about was 'wow, we're going to have a chance do things differently here in Cleveland, to really shake things up," explained GM Mike Lombardi. "It wasn't until the contracts were signed that it came to our attention that this was not in fact Stone Cold.

"The resemblance is uncanny, isn't it?!" said Lombardi excitedly, pointing to the '96 Wrestlemania poster hanging up in his office.

While certain 'football people' are suggesting that Cleveland may actually be better off with a real football coach leading their football team, the Browns front office is on a determined path. It seems they've identified their man in Steven Austin, and consequently, Mike Pettine is expected to get the ax later today.

Asked for comment, Pettine confessed that he "literally has no idea what the &*%$ just happened" declined to elaborate further on his 11 riveting hours in Cleveland.

Early indications from the Austin camp have the former world champion entertainment wrestler turning down the job.

Has to be jokes right?
 

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He looks nothing like Austin :silva: They should hire Cleavland from Family guy.
I even think the premise of the pilot of his own show was that he wanted to become an assistant coach...but I think it was for baseball.
 

Farooq

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I bet they hired some other guy to do commentary thinking he was J.R.
 

ShaRpY HaRdY

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Pettine knows his shit he'll be an okay void filler coach while we look for a true one. He may even dark horse it up who knows.
He knew how to run that Defense up in Buffalo to allow Kiko Alonzo a rookie to have such a baller year while drawing up plays well for his regular stars like Williams, Byrd, etc..
 

Dolph'sZiggler

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looks nothing like SCSA lol

BALD! GOATEE! SAME SHIT!@