Kayfabe Bronson Speaks

[Ginothony Bamtano]

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As the live audience is idly conversing with one another, "Highway Song" begins echoing throughout the arena. The crowd directs their attention over to the entrance ramp. Some boos can be heard from the crowd, and after about five seconds, a gruff and burly man slowly walks out from the backstage area. The man has made himself known to the audience as Bill Bronson. He is wearing a simple attire: red trunks with accompanying red knee pads and boots. As Bronson approaches the ringside area, he walks towards he timekeeper's area and asks for a microphone. He then walks up the nearby steel steps and enters the ring. His entrance theme slowly fades out, as he remains in the ring for a few seconds. The expression on his face is far from a pleasant one. After another moment, he holds the mic up to his mouth, prepared to speak.

Bronson: I said that I would bring change to the world of professional wrestling last week. A renaissance has begun, and I'm the one leading it. After making work of Joe Diamond last week and knocking him out of this little tournament, I've been faced with a new challenger. I'll be dancing with Alice Zander. Someone else who is just as colorful as Joe, and even more of an embrassment to wrestling.

This statement garners a massive amount of boos from the live crowd.

Bronson: Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure that as a person Mr. Alice is a great performer; but as a wrestler he's nothing. That fruitcake is in this business for all the wrong reasons. I bet you that he'll come down to this ring all smiles, high-fiving all the little ones in the front row. And you people will cheer and applaud for his antics, and he'll love every moment of it. In fact, he'll love it so much that it'll go to his head. Then once that bell rings, his focus will be directed on entertaining y'all over the bull that's staring him down.

As Bronson continues, the crowd's boos continiously grow louder and louder as his words rile them up. They continiously see it as poor taste.

Bronson: That Bull is going to run straight through the fool. It's going to spin him around like a Whirlwind, and then he's going to be slammed into the ground so hard that he won't even be able to make it beyond a ten count. That's why-

Bronson is set to continue, but he is suddenly cut off by a specifically childish song...

OOC: @Welsh-Wizard-97

 

[Welsh-Wizard-97]

I'm a Barbie Girl! In a Barb... *Cough* Sorry... Uh, Barbie Girl plays throughout the arena and quite a few people cheer, probably just fans of Aqua but they're still cheering!



Alice comes out of "The Alice Position" and onto the stage with a massive smile on his face having won his first ever wrestling match last week... And partly because he just got past round 40 on Black Ops 3 Zombies just minutes before coming out here. In fact, he was playing that half way through Billy's speech, which makes me wonder if he even has any clue as to what Ol Goat's Gruff even said. Either way, he has a microphone in his hand, so this can only go well.
Alice: Hey! Hey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!
That was weird.
Alice: Hi everyone!
A couple of cheers... HE'S LOVED!
Alice: Uh, hey there... Billy is it? I'm sorry, I don't know who you are but I normally skip boring parts of wrestling shows so I guess I wouldn't know you... Anyway, I'm Alice... XANDER! Not ZANDER! Get it right!
I guess he did here what Billy was saying.
Alice: And what's wrong with high-fiving kids? It's fun! Look!
Alice begins to high-five kids... Bill isn't impressed.
Alice: Okay, you try!
Bill doesn't move.
Alice: Uh, okay... I guess, uh... Hey sir?
Alice points at a man in the front row who's watching the show with his son.
Alice: Can I borrow your kid?
Shockingly the father allows it... That's bad parenting right there. And Alice lifts the kid over the barricade, the kid's only like 6 years old. Alice holds the kids hand and heads to the ring, getting in and walking up to Billy.
Alice: Here, high-five... Uh, what's your name kid?
Kid: Billy.
Alice: Oh WOW! You guys have the same name! That's adorable!... Well Big Billy, give little Biilly a high-five! Go on...
Big Billy really is a heartless bastard. Alice picks the kid up so that he's face to face with big Billy.
Alice: Cmon! Look at his wittle face! He getting sad! Pwease high-five him!
Big Billy just says no.
Alice: You heartless bastard!
Big Billy's mad! He walks towards Alice and Alice drops the kid, luckily lil Billy lands on his feet and both of them try to run away and leave the ring... Lil Billy escapes and goes back to his dad but Alice gets caught by Big Billy and Billy rag dolls Alice so that both are staring each other in the eyes. Alice is crapping himself right now, and actually screams like a girl.
Alice: HELP! RAPE! RAPE! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I'M NOT GOOD FOR YOUR DIET! Although it looks like you stopped dieting a long time ago...
Oh for **** sake just shut up before he does eat you! Big Billy is extremely pissed right now.

@Gambino

 

[Ginothony Bamtano]

Bill Bronson just stands there silently with the same cold expression on his face. Alice stares at him intently, slightly embarrassed by what had just transpired. Alice goes to speak once more, but Bronson's voice booms throughout the arena.

Bronson: Boy, what the Hell's wrong with you!? You come out here to a theme that would only appeal to a little girl, all decked out in your pretty outfit and pink hair. Heh, forget being an embarrassment to wrestling, you're an embarrassment to the entire male population.

A rain of boos comes down on Bronson, his words once again being in very poor tastes, judging by the expression on his face, however, political correctness isn't really his thing.

Bronson: Oh, y'all are gonna boo me for speaking the truth? Look at this thing, caught up in his own self-indulgence. In your minute out here, you've insulted me, and you've insulted the founding fathers of this business. That doesn't matter though right now Allison. Because later on tonight, I'm gonna see you out here again. And there won't be any high-fiving. In fact, little Billy over there is gonna see first hand what a real ass whooping is like. Because-

Just like a few moments ago, Bronson is cut off again. This time, though, it's not a childish song,it's a kick. Alice, now fed up with Bronson boring him half to death, decides to punt Bronson in the shin as hard as possible. A plan that was not very well thought out, Bronson simply looks down at his leg, then back at Alice. Knowing his mistake, Alice decides to do whatever he can to get out of the ring. Running like there's a sale at the Salvation Army, he manages to get out of the ring. Ironically enough, Bronson made no effort to make chase. He stares down his frightened opponent and begins to laugh.

Bronson: Oh, I can't wait till later tonight. Before you rudely, and frankly ineffectively, interrupted me, I was gonna say that in our little match tonight, it's not going to be an easy escape for you, Ally. Cause when we meet here tonight, there's gonna be a big ol' cage surrounding us. Keeping you in this ring with me. So I'd suggest you go and put your big boy shoes on, cause if you wanna stand a chance of beating me, you're gonna need a Hell lot more than just a kick in the shin.

Bronson tosses the mic to the side as his theme begins to play him out. He nonchalantly exits the ring and heads up the ramp. He passes a cowering Alice Xander, who is still trying his best to process what Bronson just said. The crowd's booing is pretty prominent now as Bronson takes his leave.

-End Segment- ​