Kayfabe Broken.

[Chicken McDouble]

*The crowd are quiet and are anticipating what's going to happen next, then Will Neilson's music starts playing and the crowd go nuts.


*Will Neilson comes out wearing a leather jacket and jeans, he has a shirt that says ''NEILSON = JUST TOO GOOD.'' He climbs into the ring and grabs a microphone.*

*WARNING SHIT PROMO ALERT, PLEASE SHIELD YOUR EYES IF NECESSARY.*
*BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP.*

Will: So ummm.... Hey! It's me once again, and as you know last week I lost to Buster Gates in what people would say was a one sided match. Unfortunately, I have to agree with that statement, that guy is on a whole other level. I was put through a table, and you'll be glad to know it didn't cause any brain damage. *Crowd Cheer.* Wait... Did I miss something? Oh yeah, according to my friends I already have Brain damage. *Crowd Cheers again.* Anyway... Alice Xander. This.... ummm.... man? Is going to be my next opponent tonight, I mean he sounds cool. APART FROM THE FACT THAT HE HAS BARBIE GIRL AS HIS ENTRANCE MUSIC, I MEAN COME ON MAN! EVEN ROB CONWAY HAS BETTER MUSIC THAN... woah woah woah... his music is better than Rob Conway's atleast. *Crowd Laughs and giggles.*

Will: Regarding other issues.... I've been informed I face Bill 'Billybob' Bronson at Night of Champions for the vacant European title. I want that title and if I have to put Billybob in his place... then I gladly will. I mean... I'm from England I deserve the title. Ahem... GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS... oh **** I didn't realise I was that bad at singing. Antonio, Antonio, TONY PIZZA GUY! Oh **** wrong Tony. He says he has a new 'friend' now, and he's 7 foot tall AND YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT, BADA BOOM, STUPIDEST GUY IN THE LOCKER ROOM! I'm on a roll today people! *Crowd cheers and chant 'We want more, we want more!'*

Will: Okay then how about....

*Will is interrupted by Barbie Girl and you can clearly see the cringe on his face.*

Spoiler: Mentions

@SupaHeeroh
@Welsh-Wizard-97
@The Anarchist

OOC: I well and truly apologise for this promo, this barely had any planning time like any of my other promos, just like Welsh said, this is a pile of shite and I promise you I will write a promo that is better than putting together a few words to make it sound funny and shit like that. Dislike at will, even I would.

 

[Welsh-Wizard-97]

Alice Xander shoots out onto the stage like a bat that has just pooped on itself, jumping up and down, dancing, the works. He's looking as fragrant as ever and the crowd seems to be taking a liking to him as many of the audience members are cheering, not the loudest pop ever but it's a pop nonetheless. His beautiful face is full of joy as he is currently undefeated as a pro wrestler, going two and zero and is also in the finals of the World Heavyweight Championship tournament... Anyway, enough with the bragging from me, its time for Alice to do some, since he does have a mic and all... So, yeah.
Alice: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M GOING TO THE FINALS BAYBAY!
Okay, you got that off your chest now?
Alice: Hehem, anyways... Hey there buddy!
Alice begins to wave at Willy... Billy, Willy, why so many illy's?
Alice: Now look, I'm not out here to trash talk or to get you to high five kids because I know that you've had a tough week, ya know, losing to Buster Gates, being put through a table... And losing to Buster Gates... I'm here to do one thing, and one thing only... TO CHEER YOU UP!
Oh, this should go great... Alice may be an idiot, because he's walked down the ramp and is currently entering the ring, obviously not learning his lesson from last week.
Alice: Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I've spent so much of this company's money on this! So, first up!
Alice puts his arm around the shoulders of a rather concerned Will Neilson.
Alice: FIREWORKS!
A crap ton of all pink fireworks go off on the stage, it wasn't a pretty sight. It was like the Oban fireworks disaster... Google it if you don't know what it is.
Alice: DAMN IT DAVE! I TOLD YOU TO TAKE YOUR TIME YOU FU... dgingly loverly person...
Nice save. Alice takes a few seconds to calm down before continuing on.
Alice: Next up... Dancing girls!
3 transvestite men come onto the stage and begins to dance, including a forth dancer by the name of Big Dick Johnson who's currently oiling himself up! Willy is not having a good time, in fact he's almost throwing up... We ain't even a third of the way through this yet!
Alice: Uh, I asked for girls, not girly men and a Johnson with a big, Johnson! Huh, anyways now it's time for!
Willy, not wanting to be subverted to any more possible cock ups, pun intended, decides to interrupt Alice, putting the festivities on hold.

 

[Chicken McDouble]

*Will Neilson is not a happy bunny, he's far from that as he pushes Alice away and interrupts what he is saying.*

Will: Ahem.... I understand you trying to cheer me up, and I thank you for that. Unfortunately, I didn't ask for this, that and this. Also, rubbing it in?! You know... mentioning the fact that I lost to Buster Gates... TWICE IN ONE SENTENCE! Dude, your a nice guy, I can see that. Oh wait... did I say guy? Excuse me, but you look like a a Sailor Moon reject.

Will: Like I say to all my opponents, I want to put on an amazing match with you, you're currently 2 and 0 so I'm expecting big things in our match tonight. JUUUUUST to make sure your 100000% ready for our match tonight..... well..... I need to knock some sense into you!

*Will Neilson grabs Alice and whips him into the corner, nailing him with the CCS Enziguri, or as he calls it the Gigabyte Kick. The crowd cheer for Neilson nethertheless, he then throws Alice out of the ring and chucks a microphone at him, awaiting on what he is going to say next as Alice crawls back to his feet clutching his head.*

 

[Welsh-Wizard-97]

Alice gets to his feet, rubbing his head. He casually dusts himself off like a pimp.
Alice: That was harsh... Especially since I was only trying to help you big jerk! Ya know what? Screw this. I come out here and try to cheer you up, I spend thousands and thousands of this company's hard earned cash and I get kicked in the head as a thank you!? That's blasphemous! You're nothing more than a wannabe, chumpy, ugly, third rate, turkey necked, cum guzzling, pansy ass Perry The Platypus lookalike cun!...
Yup, Will's pissed and thank god since he stopped Alice from saying the word... Anyway, Will exits the ring and runs towards Alice, who seems to be quite the sprinter since by the time that slow bastard has made it to the ramp, Alice as bolted up to the stage and exits through to the Alice Position with Will running out of breath and giving up his pursuit... No wonder he lost to Buster with that kind of Stamina! Anyway, the show cuts to a commercial break with Alice taking his lunch break and Willy taking five to catch his breath. Should be a fun match!

End Of Segment