May 3, 2009
By Gregg Doyel
CBSSports.com National Columnist
Tell Gregg your opinion!
Oh Lord he's doing it again.
Brett Favre is coming back. Probably. Again. So we're all talking about him. Definitely. Again.
Brett Favre: Really, you cannot be serious. (Getty Images)
Brett Favre: Really, you cannot be serious. (Getty Images)
It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad, but it is sad, and my goal today is for one of you Brett Favre apologists -- just one of you -- to read everything I have to say and then, at the end, concede that you're wrong. That I'm right. That Brett Favre isn't merely another great athlete struggling with the decision all great athletes have to make, eventually, about retirement. That Brett Favre is actually a liar, a fraud, a creep who for some reason -- and I think it's a lack of intelligence, I really do -- cannot stop burning through his hard-earned goodwill any more than a chain smoker can stop burning through Camels.
Just one of you. Please. This is your come-to-Jesus moment. So come, my son. Confess that Brett Favre isn't a jeans-wearing, spiral-throwing good ol' American icon. Confess that he's a deceitful egomaniac willing to step on anyone, in any town, to get what he wants.
And what does he want? To play for the Minnesota Vikings, apparently. Makes no sense to me, mind you, but that's what Favre wants. He wants to play for the one team that his fan base back in Green Bay dislikes more than any other, short of the Dallas Cowboys. And everybody, other than people in Texas, loathes the Dallas Cowboys. Nobody loathes the Vikings, because loathing the Vikings is like loathing your kid's music recital. You can be bored at the recital. You can be unimpressed by it. Depressed by it. But moved to loathing? No. You cannot be moved to loathe your kid's music recital. Or the Minnesota Vikings.
But they loathe Minnesota in Green Bay, so that's where Favre wants to play. It's incomprehensible, but there it is. He wants to be a Viking. He wants to take those 16 years he spent in Green Bay, winning three MVPs and one Super Bowl and hundreds of thousands of loyal fans, and flush them down a purple commode.
Which is fine. To each his own. If Brett Favre wants to sabotage his own popularity ... go for it, dude. Self-destruction is a uniquely personal endeavor, and when it comes to the self-destruction of an athlete's place in history, nobody endeavors quite like Bafflin' Brett Favre.
But what about the teams he leaves behind? What about them?
Poll
Your reaction if Brett Favre returns to play for the Vikings?
23% Indifference
47% Nausea
30% Joy
Total Votes: 9655
We all know about the Green Bay saga of last year, and of the year before that, when Favre made like Mike Hargrove in the batter's box and turned an understandably tough career decision into a human rain delay of Noah-like proportions. By the time he was done with those two offseasons in Green Bay, there had been two of everything -- reports that he was done, reports that he was coming back, reports that he was done in Green Bay but coming back somewhere else.
In the meantime, the Packers had attacked free agency and scouting for the draft without the first clue what their most important, and expensive, player would do that season. The hubris of that, the self-mutilation of the team Favre might still end up playing for, was enormous. But that's Favre. The guy is more selfish than smart.
But he's not that smart. And his agent, some character named Bus Cook, isn't that smart either. Because if either of them had the intelligence they apparently believe they have, they wouldn't have allowed Favre to spend consecutive offseasons -- this is the third -- publicly urinating on his name.
What is happening now is the most brutal example, and the reason why even a Brett Favre apologist -- just one of you, please -- cannot with a straight face continue to support Favre with the fervor that Bob Knight apologists still support their false god. And don't get me started with you people, you Bob Knight lemmings.
The Favre love is unfathomable enough, especially given the way he has lied his way out of New York and into, perhaps, Minnesota. Before the Jets announced Favre's retirement in February, his agent, Cook, asked the team for Favre's release. What's the difference between a retirement and a release? Everything. A retired player is still attached, contractually, to his most recent team. A released player, even a released "retired" player, is a free agent, able to sign with Minnesota anyone.
The Jets refused to release Favre. They announced he was retired. And since Favre insisted he was retired, life went on. But then the Jets traded for the Cleveland Browns' spot in the first round of the recent NFL Draft, and with that No. 5 overall pick the Jets picked Southern California quarterback Mark Sanchez.
And so Favre asked, again, to be released.
Which means he's not retired.
Since the addition of Sanchez meant that returning to the Jets in 2009 was now impossible realistically -- much like returning to Aaron Rodgers' Packers in 2008 was impossible -- Favre wanted to be a free agent. Clearly he wants to play again in 2009, and again, that's fine. Under the right circumstances. Telling the truth being one of those circumstances.
Favre and Cook, the NFL's version of Dumb and Dumber, issued a joint statement after his release last week by the Jets noting that Favre was still retired "at this time."
At this time. As if we don't know what that means.
We know what it means, Brett. We've always known. Favre and his agent are simply not that smart. Their capacity to sneak and to lie has always exceeded their capacity to actually deceive. They're not fooling anyone. They just think they are. Maybe my problem with Favre isn't his deceitfulness. Maybe I'm just tired of him treating us like idiots.
He definitely has treated his last two teams like inconveniences. Like any player with time left on his contract and ability left in his body, Favre has always been an asset -- but he and Cook have twice undercut his worth to his team, whether it was Green Bay in August 2008 or the Jets now. The Packers received a conditional fourth-round pick for a Hall of Fame quarterback with gas left in the tank. The Jets didn't even receive that; they just dumped Favre.
So now he gets his wish. He gets to pursue Minnesota. But we see you, Brett Favre. You're like a stupid fat kid who hides behind a tree and thinks nobody can see him. We see you, Favre. We see your gut poking out from behind that tree. Go play for the Vikings, but don't expect anyone -- not even your apologists -- to ever see you the same way again.
By Gregg Doyel
CBSSports.com National Columnist
Tell Gregg your opinion!
Oh Lord he's doing it again.
Brett Favre is coming back. Probably. Again. So we're all talking about him. Definitely. Again.
Brett Favre: Really, you cannot be serious. (Getty Images)
Brett Favre: Really, you cannot be serious. (Getty Images)
It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad, but it is sad, and my goal today is for one of you Brett Favre apologists -- just one of you -- to read everything I have to say and then, at the end, concede that you're wrong. That I'm right. That Brett Favre isn't merely another great athlete struggling with the decision all great athletes have to make, eventually, about retirement. That Brett Favre is actually a liar, a fraud, a creep who for some reason -- and I think it's a lack of intelligence, I really do -- cannot stop burning through his hard-earned goodwill any more than a chain smoker can stop burning through Camels.
Just one of you. Please. This is your come-to-Jesus moment. So come, my son. Confess that Brett Favre isn't a jeans-wearing, spiral-throwing good ol' American icon. Confess that he's a deceitful egomaniac willing to step on anyone, in any town, to get what he wants.
And what does he want? To play for the Minnesota Vikings, apparently. Makes no sense to me, mind you, but that's what Favre wants. He wants to play for the one team that his fan base back in Green Bay dislikes more than any other, short of the Dallas Cowboys. And everybody, other than people in Texas, loathes the Dallas Cowboys. Nobody loathes the Vikings, because loathing the Vikings is like loathing your kid's music recital. You can be bored at the recital. You can be unimpressed by it. Depressed by it. But moved to loathing? No. You cannot be moved to loathe your kid's music recital. Or the Minnesota Vikings.
But they loathe Minnesota in Green Bay, so that's where Favre wants to play. It's incomprehensible, but there it is. He wants to be a Viking. He wants to take those 16 years he spent in Green Bay, winning three MVPs and one Super Bowl and hundreds of thousands of loyal fans, and flush them down a purple commode.
Which is fine. To each his own. If Brett Favre wants to sabotage his own popularity ... go for it, dude. Self-destruction is a uniquely personal endeavor, and when it comes to the self-destruction of an athlete's place in history, nobody endeavors quite like Bafflin' Brett Favre.
But what about the teams he leaves behind? What about them?
Poll
Your reaction if Brett Favre returns to play for the Vikings?
23% Indifference
47% Nausea
30% Joy
Total Votes: 9655
We all know about the Green Bay saga of last year, and of the year before that, when Favre made like Mike Hargrove in the batter's box and turned an understandably tough career decision into a human rain delay of Noah-like proportions. By the time he was done with those two offseasons in Green Bay, there had been two of everything -- reports that he was done, reports that he was coming back, reports that he was done in Green Bay but coming back somewhere else.
In the meantime, the Packers had attacked free agency and scouting for the draft without the first clue what their most important, and expensive, player would do that season. The hubris of that, the self-mutilation of the team Favre might still end up playing for, was enormous. But that's Favre. The guy is more selfish than smart.
But he's not that smart. And his agent, some character named Bus Cook, isn't that smart either. Because if either of them had the intelligence they apparently believe they have, they wouldn't have allowed Favre to spend consecutive offseasons -- this is the third -- publicly urinating on his name.
What is happening now is the most brutal example, and the reason why even a Brett Favre apologist -- just one of you, please -- cannot with a straight face continue to support Favre with the fervor that Bob Knight apologists still support their false god. And don't get me started with you people, you Bob Knight lemmings.
The Favre love is unfathomable enough, especially given the way he has lied his way out of New York and into, perhaps, Minnesota. Before the Jets announced Favre's retirement in February, his agent, Cook, asked the team for Favre's release. What's the difference between a retirement and a release? Everything. A retired player is still attached, contractually, to his most recent team. A released player, even a released "retired" player, is a free agent, able to sign with Minnesota anyone.
The Jets refused to release Favre. They announced he was retired. And since Favre insisted he was retired, life went on. But then the Jets traded for the Cleveland Browns' spot in the first round of the recent NFL Draft, and with that No. 5 overall pick the Jets picked Southern California quarterback Mark Sanchez.
And so Favre asked, again, to be released.
Which means he's not retired.
Since the addition of Sanchez meant that returning to the Jets in 2009 was now impossible realistically -- much like returning to Aaron Rodgers' Packers in 2008 was impossible -- Favre wanted to be a free agent. Clearly he wants to play again in 2009, and again, that's fine. Under the right circumstances. Telling the truth being one of those circumstances.
Favre and Cook, the NFL's version of Dumb and Dumber, issued a joint statement after his release last week by the Jets noting that Favre was still retired "at this time."
At this time. As if we don't know what that means.
We know what it means, Brett. We've always known. Favre and his agent are simply not that smart. Their capacity to sneak and to lie has always exceeded their capacity to actually deceive. They're not fooling anyone. They just think they are. Maybe my problem with Favre isn't his deceitfulness. Maybe I'm just tired of him treating us like idiots.
He definitely has treated his last two teams like inconveniences. Like any player with time left on his contract and ability left in his body, Favre has always been an asset -- but he and Cook have twice undercut his worth to his team, whether it was Green Bay in August 2008 or the Jets now. The Packers received a conditional fourth-round pick for a Hall of Fame quarterback with gas left in the tank. The Jets didn't even receive that; they just dumped Favre.
So now he gets his wish. He gets to pursue Minnesota. But we see you, Brett Favre. You're like a stupid fat kid who hides behind a tree and thinks nobody can see him. We see you, Favre. We see your gut poking out from behind that tree. Go play for the Vikings, but don't expect anyone -- not even your apologists -- to ever see you the same way again.
no: