The Dating Game theme song - YouTube
Suddenly, cheesy 70s gameshow music begins to play and the crowd is confused. Some begin to laugh. Out from the back comes Wisecrack in a wild plaid suit, bow tie and a freaky hair piece. Behind him is an unhappy Maddog dressed in a blonde wig and white evening gown.
Martin Mays: What in the hell?
Wisecrack: Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for everybody's favorite question and answer segment; What is it about those damned Austrailians! Where we hope to answer that age old question about what is really going on on the world's smallest continent. So, without further ado, let's meet our first guest.
The Dating Game theme song - YouTube
The music plays again as a young Aussie steps from the back looking a bit confused, but smiles anyway and waves at the audience.
Wisecrack: His name is Daniel Pizarro and he is a journalist and youtube authourity on all things Austrailian. Please check his marvelous video about Austrailian Stereotypes at the address on the screen below!
That Guy Reviews: The Top Ten Aussie Stereotypes - YouTube
Wisecrack pretends to cough: BLANTANT PLUG! Excuse me. Hello, Daniel and WELCOME to America.
Daniel: Thank you, sir. I'm glad to be here.
Wisecrack smiles: Well, that is yet to be seen. Ha! Ok, just got through looking over your video and I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed to find out that I can't just go to the Austrailian capitol, Sidney, and see people riding kangaroos through the streets, calling each the girls sheilas and sayin' G'DAY till your sick of it! Don't you think that's a bit of false advertising?
Daniel: Well, for one, if you watched my video, you would know that Sidney is NOT the capitol of Austrailia. It's...
Wisecrack interupts: Nobody really cares, Daniel. Dammit! I was almost convinced to move there! But If I can't strap a saddle on a Joey and ride it through the streets; what's the use?
Daniel: Well, actually, a Joey is a baby...
Wisecrack: Once again, nobody cares! And what is this rubbish about a Koala Bear not being a bear?
Daniel: Well, once again, if you had watched the video, you would know that it's more from the Wom...
Wisecrack: What is it about nobody cares that you don't understand, Daniel? Listen, the only reason your hear is that I called that Irwin guy and apparently he's dead. Some kinda boating accident with Sting! So, screw you, let's go VIA SATALITE to none other than Crocodile Dundee himself; PAUL HOGAN!
The Dating Game theme song - YouTube
The big tv screen on the wall lights up and it's Paul Hogan smiling for the camera.
Wisecrack: Crocodile Dundee!!! What's shakin' bacon?
Hogan looks a bit confused: My names Paul Hogan. And we don't shake our bacon here in Austrailia.
Wisecrack looks at the audience: Well, too bad, you oughta try it! Anyway, with the Crocodile hunter out of the picture, do you have plans to go back to the Outback and wrassle you some gators?
Hogan still looks confused: Excuse me? No, I try to avoid them.
Wisecrack: Much like the Austrailian Tax Auditors, right?
Hogan gets angry: What the hell? You weren't supposed to bring that up!! Am I getting paid for this?
Wisecrack: No, you're not! Thank you for joining us VIA SATALITE all the way from Miami, Florida! Apparently still afraid to go back home. I mean, they might have a nice room for you in Tax Prison. Back to the roots of Australia, eh?
Daniel: What?
Wisecrack: Oh, I forgot you were here! Listen, I need help trying to get another set of Austrailians deported and sent back home. I'm talking about Jim Robbo Robertson and his sidekick Frost, THE BOGANS!
Daniel looks shocked: BOGANS? Aw, hell no! You can keep them. In fact, we're trying to find a way to send all of ours to the states!
Daniel stomps off the stage as Wisecrack rants and the music plays.
The Dating Game theme song - YouTube
Wisecrack: Stupid Assies!
(Andrew: Feel free to continue this if you want)
