The Fed Zone: Reviewing WWF PPVs 1985-1994

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WrestleMania V

Date: 2 April 1989

Location: Trump Plaza; Atlantic City, NJ
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

We're back at Trump Plaza once again, despite the ho-hum casino crowd that made WrestleMania IV even harder to watch. This show also has a pretty lousy reputation, despite the main event being synonymous of the era, and the roster arguably the strongest for at least another decade. The WWF was pretty much at the peak of its powers at this point (no Mania got more PPV buys until WMXV), so let's see what this show has in store.

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The Mega Powers explode! Jesse and Gorilla welcome us to the show, before Rockin' Robin takes to the ring for America the Beautiful. She basically butchers this with *by far* the worst musical performance ever on a WWF PPV, only salvaged by Jesse's ruthless suggestion that she not quit her day job. Well, they had to acknowledge how crap that was.

Hercules def. King Haku (6:57)
So, Hercules decided being a slave wasn't all that great and split from Bobby Heenan, turning babyface in the process. I don't think that really worked out for him, but at least he's free. This isn't exactly the profile of match I'd book as an opener (it's all power moves and roughhousing as opposed to anything fast-paced or exciting), but you have to appreciate two hosses duking it out. There's a particularly good spot here as well, as Hercules comes off the top for an axe-handle, only to be caught by Haku's "sit down bitch" thrust kick. In the end, two power slams is enough to win it for Hercules (the second coming after an impressive catch mid-air), giving him a first WrestleMania victory. I'm perfectly content with this one. **

The Twin Towers def. The Rockers (8:02)

Hell yeah, Rockers debut at WrestleMania! This is basically an extended squash, but it kind of rules. The Rockers have such great underdog energy here, while the heavies are very giving to them, so Shawn and Marty don't come off badly at all despite the convincing defeat. I love how crazy the crowd go for the Rockers' stereo offense, which wasn't exactly en vogue in the predominantly northern style of the WWF. People seem to react like they're watching wrestling for the first time when these guys are in the ring (or flying out of it, whatever). Boss Man ends up winning it for the heels with a big splash and would continue as a heel for the remainder of 1989 before turning babyface against Akeem (more on that later). Possibly generous on the rating but this was fun as hell! ***

Hey, Tony Schiavone is in the WWF and talks to "Million Dollar Champion" Ted DiBiase backstage. It's a totally unofficial title for now, but it would be defended and exchanged eventually.

Brutus Beefcake fought Ted DiBiase to a double count out (10:01)
It's a battle of the sleeper holds here. Speaking of sleeper holds, this is an exceedingly boring match, as DiBiase wasn't the kind of guy to go out and drag the babyface along (and lord knows Beefcake needs dragging along). At some points, DiBiase actually has to audibly yell at Beefcake to get him in position for spots, in case you needed any further indication that Brutus truly sucked as a worker. To be honest, I'm not even sure what this feud was about, and there's no way Ted was ever letting Brutus near those luscious locks. As if this thing wasn't dull enough, we get a non-finish for our trouble, as both guys end up brawling out on the floor, leading to the double count out. That was worth ten minutes. *

Post-match, Brutus teases a haircut on DiBiase, but Virgil wakes up from the sleeper and the heels scarper. Meanwhile, we get a clip of Alfred Hayes brunching with The Bushwhackers. Cool.

The Bushwhackers def. The Fabulous Rougeaus (5:23)
Plus five minutes for a Bushwhackers match should be a criminal offence or something. This is your fairly standard comedy faces vs. arrogant heels, and of course the latter would never lose to such jokers. Alas, this is wrestling. Despite the whole marching thing being over, the crowd didn't really care about this, and most of it is just Luke and Butch goofing the Rougeaus and making them look like jackasses. A lot of the match was based around the Rougeaus avoiding the battering ram, but they get hit with it eventually and that's a wrap. Pretty bad and would be worse if Jacques and Ray weren't so giving. 3/4*

Mr. Perfect def. The Blue Blazer (5:38)

Damn, this Blue Blazer guy isn't bad, I wonder what he looks like beneath that mask. This is another extended squash, basically, but the quality of the work is on another level compared to most of this show. Perfect remains perfect at this point, while the Blazer is a very young Owen Hart. Despite the length, these two work through a very athletic, crisp match, with Owen working more of a high-flying style than what we'd become accustomed to with his 90s run. The Perfect Plex ends it. Nice! **3/4

Another Lord Alfred pre-tape now, as he takes us to a Boardwalk 5k run. Mr. Fuji wins somehow. Hmm, I call bullshit. Back in the ring, Run DMC are here to perform the WrestleMania rap. Damn, hip hop really evolved didn't it, but this was cool.

World Tag Team Championships: Demolition (c) def. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji in a Handicap Match (8:20)
Wow, Fuji is such a is such a good manager he'll stop his teams from having to job. As mentioned in the Survivor Series '88 review, Fuji turned on Demolition and hitched himself to the Powers, which was a good decision booking-wise as Demolition were over like crazy. In terms of aura, this match looks great, as your physically dominant babyface champions are up against an equally badass, beefy team, but the execution is not so terrific. Obviously Fuji being involved doesn't help matters, as he has the tendency to turn this contest into a bit of a comedy, when it should really just be four massive dudes throwing bombs at each other. At the same time, I just don't think the styles of the two teams meshed and the Powers were basic as hell (especially Warlord). Fair play to Fuji for taking the Demolition finisher though, as that doesn't look like sunshine and rainbows. *1/2

Backstage, Schiavone tries to get up in Macho's face but he doesn't DIG IT. Back at ringside, Jimmy Snuka is here (for some reason). This was the beginning of his final proper run with the company, which would effectively culminate two years later at WrestleMania VII.

Dino Bravo def. Ronnie Garvin (3:06)
Hands of Stone! Garvin was (briefly) a former NWA Champion, but you wouldn't guess it from how he was shunted down to the lower midcard almost immediately. This is just classic, early WM filler, as Bravo's strength game went up against Garvin's brawling style. Garvin takes most of the hits here actually, which is good as Bravo can't sell ice to the Inuits. A side slam ends a pretty pointless, but not entirely offensive, encounter. Garvin got some heat back after the match, but there was no way he getting any kind of push after this. *

The Brain Busters def. Strike Force (9:17)

Man, seeing Arn and Tully work a WrestleMania is so cool (and this is the only match either would have at the granddaddy of them all). As much as this is easily one of the better matches on the undercard, as all four guys could work their ass off, it's mostly notable for the Strike Force explosion and the birth of Martel's heel persona. After Tito hits Martel accidentally with the flying forearm, Martel says f*** that and leaves Tito high and dry, which leaves Tito at the Busters' mercy. After a spinebuster and some more punishment, Tito eventually succumbs to a spike piledriver. The angle is great but damn, this could have easily been a MOTN contender if they let these teams go full-tilt. **1/2

Post-match, Martel gives an interview to solidify the heel turn. Remember, Tito Santana is a LOOOSSSER.

It's time for Piper's Pit, as Roddy returns to the WWF around two years after "retiring". Oh, wait a minute, that's Brother Love. His guest is Morton Downey Jr. (no relation to Iron Man, btw), and oh god this segment becomes unbearable immediately. For what it's worth, Morton is somehow even more detestable than Brother Love; you know the gimmick that is factory-engineered to be as annoying as possible. The real Piper then arrives, as we get the infamous moment of Morton blowing smoke in his face. Piper then blasts him with the fire extinguisher, which mercifully extinguishes this segment. That was 20 minutes long! Oh yeah, Piper stole Love's kilt and made him look like an ass too. Welcome back, Hot Rod!

The main event is still several matches away, but in case anyone forgot, we get a retrospective of Savage and Hogan's brotherly bond turned bitter feud, which of course reached its apex at The Main Event. Hogan then speaks to Gene, babbling for four minutes about the collapse of the world and other apocalyptic imagery before promising victory over Macho Man.

Jake Roberts def. Andre the Giant via DQ (9:44)
Okay, when this is one of your feature matches, I see why people aren't too high on this show. Jake really tries but Andre can barely keep himself upright and had no business being involved in any kind of singles match at this point. Big John Studd is the special guest referee in basically his last notable appearance for the company, reversing the heel-face dynamic him and Andre worked for many years. There's not much to say about this other than it's very bad, as Jake can't really do much to Andre, and all of Andre's offence is choking and rest holds. Eventually, Studd crosses Andre and gets assaulted, leading to a DQ. But Jake is the real winner, as he gets to terrify Andre one last time with Damian to end this feud. 1/2*

Backstage, Sherri shit-talks Elizabeth, signalling her union with Savage shortly after WrestleMania.

The Hart Foundation def. Greg Valentine & The Honky Tonk Man (7:40)
The Harts were kind of in the midcard mire at this point, and they could have easily split Bret off from the team to start his solo run. As it turned out, I think Bret went single at the right time. Valentine and Honky would of course form Rhythm & Blues later in the year, but their just a thrown together team both managed by Jimmy Hart at this stage. With the time they're given, this is a pretty standard formula tag, and not bad by any means. It's just not a tremendously exciting use of The Hart Foundation. Bret gets his hand on Jimmy's megaphone and clobbers Honky Tonk for the pin. You couldn't even let them win clean? **

Video package now for our next match, as we go back to the Rumble for the POSE DOWN between Ultimate Warrior and Rick Rude.

Intercontinental Championship: Rick Rude def. The Ultimate Warrior (c) (9:36)
This is the first of three PPV matches between Warrior and Rude between 1989 and 1990, and it's not the best (but not the worst). That being said, these two definitely had a lot of chemistry, perhaps because Rude understood how to sell for Warrior and make his limited move set look good. Too much of this match is bogged down by rest hold spots, but once Warrior cranks up the juice (no, not like that) and starts levelling Rude with his big shoulder blocks, the crowd comes to life and this gets a bit more exciting. This all looks like a routine Warrior power-up and win, but then comes Bobby's crowning moment, as Warrior suplexes Rude back into the ring, only for Brain to hold his feet down, allowing Rude to steal a pin and the IC title. Finally, Bobby Heenan manages a champion in the WWF. The SummerSlam rematch is *way* better. **3/4

Warrior clearly has Hogan syndrome, as he must get his heat back after the match and gorilla presses Heenan to ensure everyone knows who the real champion is. Poor Bobby!

Jim Duggan fought Bad News Brown to a double DQ (3:49)
I mean, what else did you expect from this? Duggan and Brown both work a pretty similar style, insofar as their offense consists of punching and kicking people. So this was a lot of that, plus a bullshit finish because there's no way in hell either one was putting over the other. This does produce a cool visual I suppose: that is, a chair vs. 2x4 duel in 1989 WWF. If there was a Hardcore title in 80s WWF, I think I know who would be fighting over it. All in all though, this was HORRIBLE. 1/4*

Backstage, Terry Taylor (a.k.a. the Red Rooster) gets amped up for his match against erstwhile manager Bobby Heenan. For those unfamiliar, Taylor was working an intentionally crappy gimmick, initially joining the WWF as a heel jobber who Heenan claimed he could turn into a champion through the sheer power of his managerial prowess. That obviously didn't work and like most of Heenan's charges, Rooster turned against his manager.

The Red Rooster def. Bobby Heenan (0:32)
Heenan, still bruised from Warrior's heinous attack, is out with Brooklyn Brawler, one of the WWF's most enduring jobber gimmicks. This is over in a flash, as Heenan misjudges a turnbuckle splash, hits the corner, and takes the pin. No rating, this was just a semi-satisfying end to the whole Heenan/Rooster deal, which did nothing for Heenan and somehow even less for Rooster.

Post-match, Brawler attacks Rooster, but ultimately gets overpowered. Backstage, Elizabeth vows to remain in a neutral corner.

WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan def. Randy Savage (c) (17:54)

  • Classic cowardly start from heel Macho, using Elizabeth as a human shield and nibbling at Hogan with little strikes here and there.
  • Hogan peppers some comebacks in there, causing Savage some damage, but the match is worked at Savage's pace for the first half of so, as Elizabeth looks on with concern.
  • Hogan eventually gets pissed and just hurls Savage out of the ring, which attracts the sympathy of Liz. Hogan is also bleeding from the eye at this point, which Savage takes advantage of with a few gouges. That's real 80s stuff, baby.
  • Liz's sympathies turn to Hogan next after Savage rams him into a post, and Macho doesn't appreciate that, getting her ejected from ringside before axe-handling Hogan throat-first onto the rail.
  • More Savage offense obviously builds up to the big elbow drop, which Savage connects with. Hogan powers out though and HULKS UP. Big boot and leg drop finishes it, and Hogan is champion once again.
I had this a notch lower but my latest watch revealed that this match is, indeed, very good. It completely breaks from what we expect of Hogan's formula and the drama they mount here is great. It's an extremely fed-coded main event but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. If they weren't so obsessed with ending Mania on a happy note at this time (a heel win doesn't close the show until 2000) then I think there was some money in Savage cheating to win and carrying this forward until Summerslam. Alas, we got what we got, and Savage's star didn't suffer to much from defeat. ***3/4

Overall


There's a lot of people down on this WrestleMania and I can understand to an extent. There's a lot of filler and a few flat-out bad matches (a near-crippled Andre vs. Jake, and the non-match that was Hacksaw vs. Bad News the biggest offenders) and it once again takes place in Trump's Atlantic City casino with a half-interested crowd, despite how hot the WWF was at this time.

At the same time though, there's a lot to appreciate on this card. For starters, this has the best main event of WrestleMania to this point with Savage vs. Hogan. My most recent watch is probably the most I've enjoyed the match. Savage heels it up superbly and there's great drama here; just enough overbooking to paper over Hogan's weaknesses. We also get really fun WM debuts from The Rockers, Mr. Perfect and The Brain Busters, even if their matches aren't especially substantial. It's a definitively "okay" show in my book, but nothing too offensive. 5/10.
 
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Chris

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Miles better than WM IV, still bottom 5 tho
 
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SummerSlam 1989

Date: 28 August 1989
Location: Brendan Byrne Arena; East Rutherford, NJ
Commentary: Tony Schiavone & Jesse Ventura

Once again, the end of summer brings with it a major WWF PPV, the second annual SummerSlam. Like last year, this show would be main event-ed by an all-star tag team match, meaning that the WWF Championship would not be defended at SummerSlam until its third iteration in 1990. We've got a change in the commentary booth this time, as Tony Schiavone commentates on his first of two PPV shows during his short tenure. Let's get into it.

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The Brain Busters def. The Hart Foundation (16:23)
We're straight into the action with one hell of an opener, as two of the NWA's best exports take on arguably the best working team in the WWF. Interestingly, Tully and Arn had actually defeated Demolition for the tag team titles on SNME to end the latter's long reign, but that happened after this match was already booked. So, for dumb reasons, this is non-title, even though the champions go over anyway? Putting that aside, this is a low-key banger and actually quite underrated in my opinion. In fairness, there's not too many frills here, just really solid formula tag work, executed to near-perfection. Tully and Arn are so good at the heat segments, really making the babyface (in this case Bret) look like he's fighting for his life. Bret sells all this stuff tremendously of course. Eventually Neidhart gets subjected to the double teaming of the Brain Busters, before making a hot tag to Bret. Just as it looked like the Harts had it won, though, a Bobby distraction and pearl harbor axe-handle on Bret earns the new champions a big victory. Arn even does that cool spot where he hides his head to disguise himself (as he's not the legal man). ***3/4

Backstage, we welcome common man DUSTY RHODES BABY to the WWF, polka dots and all. Whatever, he made this gimmick they gave him work and was just as charismatic in this role as ever. Alexa, play "Common Man", we've got a match to attend to.

Dusty Rhodes def. The Honky Tonk Man (9:36)
This was kind of a perfect match to introduce Dusty with honestly. Not that it was really good or anything, but it did hit the mark with its clear face-heel dynamic, and while Honky Tonk had slipped down the card, he was still pretty effective at stooging and making babyfaces look like a million bucks. This is pretty much an elongated squash, but Dusty works the crowd superbly and knows how to sell in the periods where Honky does get some momentum. Most of his stuff is basic rest holds though. We get a nice finish too, as Dusty engineers an accidental guitar shot to the head on Honky by Jimmy Hart before hitting the big elbow drop for the win. Not a bad start, honestly. **

Backstage, Demolition and KING Duggan preview their match against Andre and the Twin Towers. Talk about a Burger King...

Mr. Perfect def. The Red Rooster (3:21)
This is pretty obviously just a way to get one of the company's biggest rising stars on the card. And no, I'm not talking about Terry Taylor. That being said, this could have been pretty good with some more time, as Perfect could have a fun and competitive match with most people and Taylor wasn't an awful worker outside of the Rooster gimmick. They actually have a match on the second episode of RAW in 1993 that proves my point. Anyway, no need to waster Perfect's time on a ham 'n' egger. After some fight back from Rooster, Perfect hits the Perfect Plex for the pin. Fine but nothing to it. *1/2

More interviews now (hey, HHH, how about bringing these back on PLEs instead of more ads?!) as Bobby and IC Champion Rick Rude prophesise victory over The Ultimate Warrior later. Yeah, good luck with that one.

Rick Martel & The Fabulous Rougeaus def. Tito Santana & The Rockers (14:58)
Hey, it's French Canada vs. The People of Texas. This of course followed on from the break-up of Strike Force, as Martel turned his back on Santana and then started a feud with him. Martel is yet to receive the gimmick most people know him for (and a bigger push), but it's coming. This is a pretty good match as you would guess from the participants, although it probably would have been more at home as a TV main event than a PPV match. They could have easily bumped one of the lesser matches off this card and run Tito vs. Martel (they never had a singles match on PPV) and Rockers vs. Rougeaus separately, which would have been beneficial. Anyway, the match is pretty back-and-forth and gets enough time for a few run-throughs of the formula, but the hot tags come pretty regularly and the pace rarely dies down too much. The finish was a classic bit of confusion, as Marty Jannetty roles up Jacques, not realising that Martel is the legal man. Martel sneaked in and rolled Marty up for the victory. ***

We get a retrospective now on the Warrior and Rude feud, beginning at the Royal Rumble with the POSE DOWN, before Warrior was cheated out of his IC title at WrestleMania thanks to Bobby Heenan. Warrior then delivers a customarily bat shit promo that only Dr. Doolittle could make sense of.

Intercontinental Championship: The Ultimate Warrior def. Rick Rude (c) (16:02)
Other than his matches with Savage, I think this is probably Warrior's best singles match on PPV, or at least the best at maximising all of his upsides while minimising his downsides. Warrior actually kicks the shit out of Rude to start, hitting a press slam and then full-on chucking him out of the ring. That's gotta hurt. It looked like we may be going to "squaaash" city until the old collision in the middle spot, with a ref bump sprinkled in for added drama. Then these guys just go for it, exchanging piledrivers and other big moves. Piper arrived around this time, as him and Rude had started feuding in the background, and Piper actually gets his batty out for Rude, understandably distracting him. That gives Warrior the chance to take over and ultimately hit the gorilla press / splash for the win and a second IC title. I could have done without the Piper interference playing such a big role but this has one hell of a closing sequence and the crowd is absolutely unglued throughout this whole thing. I'd call this one of Warrior's few "great" matches. ****

Lots of interviews now, as Mr. Perfect, Roddy Piper and an exasperated Bobby Heenan all speak to Gene backstage. Bobby sounds like he's going to have an actual heart attack as we go to an intermission. Before the action resumes, we get a retrospective on the arrival of ZEUS, who is impervious to pain, apparently.

Jim Duggan & Demolition def. Andre the Giant & The Twin Towers (7:23)
The heel team here weighs a measly 1,334 pounds. I get that heavy after a Christmas dinner. Meanwhile Duggan has joined Demolition on the face painting, although his is of course red, white and blue. As for the match, call me somewhat pleasantly surprised. On paper, this should be awful, as only half of the workers in the match (at best) are any good, and the ones who aren't good are actively bad. Fortunately, Demolition were really committed to making this one work and there wasn't time for a lot of dull heat spots. There's also some really cool shit in this match, like Smash dropping both Twin Towers with slams for a massive pop. Eventually all hell breaks loose, with Andre trying to interfere despite not being legal, and Duggan (the cheat) bonking Akeem over the head with his 2x4. That was enough for Smash to get the pin and give the babyfaces the win. *3/4

Greg Valentine def. Hercules (3:08)

Before this one gets underway, Ronnie Garvin (locked in a fairly long-running lower midcard feud with Valentine) does a comedy routine as the special guest announcer, ribbing Hammer to try and throw him off his game (not that it works). It's actually a pretty funny segment and shows a different side to Garvin than you'd expect. The match itself is just a very basic exchange to kill some PPV time but the work is solid enough for three minutes. Valentine wins with a rope-assisted pin. *

Post-match, Garvin tries to overturn the result and announces Hercules as the winner via DQ. I think the history books still have this down as a Valentine win, though.

Backstage, the heel trio of Savage, Sherri and Zeus (wait, he has a Z shaved into his head?) talk about the main event and highlight Brutus as the weak link. No shit Sherlock comes to mind.

Ted DiBiase def. Jimmy Snuka (6:27)
Man, Snuka was pretty much finished at this point with none of the athleticism he once possessed, but WWF thought he was a name people cared about so they brought him back. This is just a filler match with the bigger feud between DiBiase and Jake Roberts rumbling along at the same time. Despite that, Snuka still doesn't lie down for the bigger star here, which makes little sense booking wise. I guess that didn't work for him, brother. Again, pretty basic stuff here, with DiBiase valiantly attempting to work around Superfly's limitations and craft something of value here. They end up brawling outside the ring, during which DiBiase shoves Snuka into the ring post. That's enough for the Million Dollar Man to steal a count out victory. *1/4

Post-match, Virgil was on hand to stooge for DiBiase and let Snuka get some heat back with his Superfly Splash.

Ahead of the main event, Hulk and Brutus are backstage for an interview, and the clippers are out! Shave that Z off Brutus!

Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake def. Randy Savage & Zeus (15:04)
Before the match can start, Hogan pulls a pretty savvy mind trick and has Howard introduce Elizabeth, who will be in the babyface corner (cue Savage rage quit). Zeus was of course the bad guy in the No Holds Barred movie, come to life. Unfortunately, this show is not a movie but a live event, and there's no way of editing around how shitty of a wrestler Zeus was. Fortunately, Savage and Hogan do just about enough to cover for their respective partners' weaknesses in-ring, and this match actually exceeds its pretty low expectations (which isn't a high bar, of course, but a positive nonetheless). Obviously the Zeus heat segments are a drag to sit through, and Beefcake as a face-in-peril is hard to care about, but the hot tags catch fire and the crowd are really excited for the Mega Powers' conflict to keep boiling up. In the final part of the match, we also get the awesome moment of Elizabeth dealing with Sherri and getting somewhat physical, which actually leads to the finish as Hulk uses Sherri's loaded purse left in the ring to waffle Zeus and pin the monster. **1/2

Post-match, poor Sherri bears the residual brunt of the babyfaces' ire, as Hulk hits her with an atomic drop into a slap from Liz. To add insult to injury, Brutus then cuts off some of her hair. We get the customary celebration to close.

Overall

From a work rate perspective, this was probably one of the best PPVs that WWF ran in the 80s. The opener is an underrated tag team clinic between two of the best working tag teams of the era: The Hart Foundation and The Brain Busters. Meanwhile, Ultimate Warrior and Rick Rude's IC rematch is probably the highlight of the night though, as these two have pretty unreal chemistry. Only Savage worked better with Warrior, for my money.

Even the main event, although not a particularly "good" wrestling match, has enough drama and thrills to be somewhat memorable. It's not nearly as good as the similar tag team main event from the year before, but I enjoyed it enough. There's a few stinkers, granted, but they're kept short enough to be inoffensive. The crowd was molten for this thing too, which always helps. 7/10.
 
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Survivor Series 1989

Date: 23 November 1989

Location: Rosemont Horizon; Rosemont, IL
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura


Survivor Series is back and this time teams of four strive to survive! And they have team names! I'm not sure what motivated the movement to 4-on-4 Survivor Series matches, which would be the format for the next few years, other than making the elimination-style contests go a bit quicker and to fit more of them on the card. Anyway, let's see whether the show improves or not for this change...

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Gorilla's back behind the desk for this one, as him and Jesse welcome us to the show. Straight into the action!


The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, The Red Rooster & Tito Santana) def. The Enforcers (Big Boss Man, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel & The Honky Tonk Man) in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (22:02)
Say what you want about the polka dots, but Dusty's already got a Survivor Series team named after him! And of course, the babyfaces arrive to the "Common Man" theme. Brutus is also in the middle of his biggest WWF push. As for the heel team, Martel is now a model (although he's yet to introduce "Arrogance") and Boss Man is Akeem-less (at least for this show). The main feuds here are pretty much Dusty / Boss Man and Tito / Martel, and the latter duo get into it pretty early. As it happens, Tito is the first to fall, getting rolled up Martel to add further steam to their rivalry. Then, in a pretty hilarious running bit that began in 1988, Bad News walks out on him team AGAIN, getting himself counted out. Who would have guessed? The babyfaces take back over now, as Beefcake pins Honky following a high knee and later Martel. This Brutus push hurts my soul. Just Boss Man left for the heels now, but he at least eliminates that jobber Terry Taylor (Red Rooster) with the Boss Man Slam. Yes! In the end, Dusty and Beefcake combined are too much for Boss Man to handle, as Rhodes hits him with a big crossbody for the pin. This has some fun Dusty comebacks and the pace is noticeably quicker compared to previous years, but there was a bit too much dead weight here and the focus on Brutus didn't do it for me. **1/4

Post-match, Boss Man gets some heat back by attacking Dusty and handcuffing him, getting a few licks in with the nightstick before Brutus clears the ring. Backstage, Boss Man then cuts an awesome promo on Dusty that if anything makes him seem like a badass and not somebody the crowd would want to boo. Unsurprisingly, he'd turn face shortly after this.

The 4x4s are with Gene, and what a random team this is: Bret Hart tagging with Ronnie Garvin?! Duggan leads them out to the ring with a big HOOOOOOOOOO!


The King's Court (Randy Savage, Earthquake, Dino Bravo & Greg Valentine) def. The 4x4s (Jim Duggan, Bret Hart, Ronnie Garvin & Hercules) in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (23:25)
Debut appearance here for Earthquake, who was aligned to Dino Bravo on arrival and called "The Canadian Earthquake". Needless to say, they'd shorten that pretty quickly. Also worth mentioning that Macho is now Macho King and gets the grand entrance he deserves. This gimmick fit him like a glove. The heels get on top pretty quickly here, as Earthquake just destroys everyone and eliminates poor Hercules in less than five minutes with the splat. The tide turns back to the faces for a bit, as Duggan clotheslines the heel bottom-feeder Valentine to even the odds. Unfortunately for Duggan and company, it's pretty much a clean sweep for Savage's team after that, as the blow through Ronnie Garvin and then Bret Hart, who Savage eliminates with the elbow drop. Macho and Bret really don't mix it up all that much here, which feels like a missed opportunity. Duggan is left three-on-one then but does he see the lights? You guessed it, hell no! The heels, including Sherri on the outside, conspire to get Duggan counted out, giving them the win in a pretty unsatisfying finish. This was alright but nothing special again. **1/2

Duggan, not content with refusing to job, gets his heat back with a 2x4 shot to Savage. What a dick! Backstage, Mean Gene gives us an update on the condition of Dusty Rhodes. Well, he ain't dead!


The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts & Demolition) def. The Million Dollar Team (Ted DiBiase, The Powers of Pain & Zeus) in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (27:32)
The babyface team here is the definition of OP: you've got your biggest star, your biggest midcard star (okay, that's arguable, but Jake's up there) and your biggest tag team stars all on one team. The heel team is Ted DiBiase and the shitter squad. Unsurprisingly, Zeus doesn't last long, getting disqualified for attacking the referee; and that's the last we'll see of him. There's actually a lot of f***ery in this one, with most of the eliminations coming from interference, including Ax who is pinned by Warlord. His partner Smash is the next to depart, courtesy of the Barbarian. It would appear that the Powers were actually being built back up, but they'd be split up and assigned to different managers relatively soon after this show. Speaking of which, they both get ejected for double-teaming Hogan, leading to more chaos. Lots of chaos in this one (amidst lots of boring rest holds and bad heat segments). Despite being outnumbered, DiBiase gets the better of Roberts through a Virgil low-blow, and we're down to a one-on-one situation for the first time tonight. Ted doesn't last all that long though, as the champ HULKS UP and hits the atomic leg drop to seal the win. Pretty awesome babyface team-up here, but the heels don't hold up their end and it's a bit of a slog as a result. **

More interviews now as Rude Brood and the Rowdies get set for their match. Oh god, this babyface team looks absolutely horrible!


The Rude Brood (Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect & The Fabulous Rougeaus) def. Roddy's Rowdies (Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka & The Bushwhackers) in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (21:27)
Quick start from the babyfaces here, who eliminate both Rougeaus sharpish; Snuka hits the Superfly Splash (still awesome) to eject Jacques, before Piper piledrives poor Ray into oblivion. And with that, Piper's team are in control. Fortunately for the heel team, Rude and Perfect are a handy duo and manage to get rid of both Bushwhackers between them, so we're down to a pretty star-studded two-on-two: the rising stars of the present in Rude and Perfect against the legends of yesteryear in Piper and Snuka. You know Piper isn't taking a pin or anything, so him and Rude end up brawling each other out of the ring and up the ramp, counting them both out. Perfect, who was *still* unbeaten to this point doesn't lose his record and manages to finish Snuka with the Perfect Plex. This is another adequate but supremely forgettable eliminator, which at least puts the star of the heel team over (albeit with a screwy finish, a la Piper). **1/2

In yet another case of sore loser syndrome on this show, Snuka goes for the post-match attack on Perfect and his buddy The Genius (aka Leaping Lanny Poffo, brother of Macho Man), but the heels manage to escape. Backstage, Rude and company celebrate, while the mystery of Heenan's absence in the last match is pondered by Sean Mooney. Ahead of the main event, Warrior psyches his guys up.


The Ultimate Warriors (The Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart & The Rockers) def. The Heenan Family (Bobby Heenan, Andre the Giant, Haku & Arn Anderson) in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (20:28)
Heenan's absence in the last match is explained, as we discover he is standing in for Tully Blanchard (fired for consuming something white and powdery). This is Andre's last Survivor Series appearance in-ring and he gets eliminated instantly, as Warrior clotheslines him out of the ring before the bell even goes and he can't get back in. Probably for the best. Haku evens things up early, as he kicks Anvil's head off for the pin and elimination. I should say now that this match is the Bobby Heenan show, and he even gets to eliminate Marty Jannetty after Haku and Arn do most of the damage. Speaking of Arn, he'd be out of the door with Tully right after this, popping back up in WCW soon enough. Despite losing his partner, Shawn Michaels (clearly pencilled in already as the Rocker with a future) hit Haku with a big crossbody and evens it up for Warrior's team. Arn then dumps Shawn, after a sick spinebuster. Arn's not going gently into that good night, in what turns out to be his last PPV match ever for WWF/E. Once again, Warrior is out-manned at Survivor Series, but fear not, as he puts away Arn with the Warrior Splash and then gets Bobby all to himself. This is a pretty hilarious little closing sequence, as Bobby bumps around as best he can and tries not to let Warrior break his neck. The press and splash finishes it for Warrior to send the crowd home happy. There wasn't a lot to this one but it's safely the only contest from this show that I'd happily re-watch, if only for Heenan's excellent performance. ***

Post-match, Warrior unnecessarily clotheslines Heenan again as he makes his way to the back. That's all folks!

Overall

A bad show, only slightly better for the shorter elimination matches and the introduction of team names! Those were pretty cool. All in all though, it's another painfully unimportant Survivor Series, which comes off more like a filmed house show than a serious event. 4/10
 
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Royal Rumble 1990

Date: 21 January 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, FL
Commentary: Tony Schiavone & Jesse Ventura

It's the nineties, baby! The decade in which wrestling underwent arguably its biggest transformation ever starts with the WWF on top of the world (and we all know how it ends). Also, I was born in this decade, so I'm always a nineties kid at heart.


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Tony Schiavone is here for his final PPV with the WWF before heading back down south. And we're straight into the action.

The Bushwhackers defeated The Fabulous Rougeaus (13:35)
If this isn't the best Bushwhackers match in the WWF, I don't know what is. I mean, it's nothing great, but it's actually watchable. Sadly, this is also the swansong for the Rougeaus as a team and, more crushingly, their awesome theme. Jacques would be back of course in a different gimmick, while Raymond stuck around as a non-wrestling talent, doing interviews, commentary and such. The crowd lifts this one hugely, as does the Rougeaus' commitment to making their opponents look halfway credible (which is no small feat). The teams go pretty back-and-forth, with Rougeaus smartly double-teaming and then stooging to avoid multiple battering ram attempts. There's plenty of groaner biting spots too, for those who enjoy that sort of thing. In the end, the Bushwhackers hit the battering ram on Jacques, allowing Butch to get the pin. About as enjoyable as you could expect and far better than their WMV match. **1/4

Backstage, Ted DiBiase bemoans the fact he can't sell his #1 spot after being #30 this year. Once again, BRING BACK THE RUMBLE DRAW! You don't even have to show the exact numbers!

Brutus Beefcake fought The Genius to a double DQ (11:07)
The Genius (a.k.a. Lanny Poffo) going more than 10 minutes in his one and only PPV match is a real collector's item. Like most Genius matches (see his count out win over Hogan for the best example), this is pure, camp pantomime, and Beefcake just doesn't know how to sell it. Then Lanny, the poor guy, gets his hair chopped afterwards (which he didn't realise was going to happen, if you believe the sheets). There's a lot of stalling early on, as Genius attempts to play his mind games on Brutus (good luck with that) before Brutus finally gets hold of him and starts kicking his ass. Eventually we get a ref bump, and Beefcake locks in the sleeper, setting up Genius for a haircut. Genius' buddy Mr. Perfect is having none of that and hits the ring. The referee finally wakes up from his own nap and decides to DQ both competitors as chaos breaks out. Perfect then grabs a chair and whomps Brutus before escaping. It is just me, or does Brutus come off as weirdly heel-ish here taking advantage of Lanny, while Perfect makes the heroic save. This wasn't much a match and didn't need to be 11 minutes long. *

Backstage, the Heenan Family look forward to the Rumble, but which of them is winning it ponders Mooney. None of them can agree.

Ronnie Garvin def. Greg Valentine in a Submission Match (16:55)
Good lord, Ronnie Garvin getting nearly 17 minutes on a WWF PPV. What a time to be alive. Just to be clear, this match absolutely slaps and is easily both guys' finest hour in the company. They pack so many fun gimmicks into this between beating the leather off each other (the Hammer Jammer!) and tell a tremendous story. Honestly, it might be one of the most underrated WWF matches ever. The only thing really holding it back is the repeated use of the pin fall, which is presumably intended to emphasise this is not a normal match-up, but ends up becoming a bit silly when both guys keep being reminded that won't work. Much of the match revolves around the Figure-Four, which is briefly treated like the deadliest submission in the world for a minute here. Eventually, Garvin manages to get his own variation of the move on Valentine after lots of back and forth, and Hammer has to submit. Honestly, go check this one out right away. ***3/4

Here's Brother Love for a segment, as he welcomes Queen Sherri and Sapphire to the ring. Sherri verbally abuses Sapphire a bit for being a peasant and (Scott Steiner voice) "FAT", before Sapphire gets fed up and gives Sherri a well-earned slap. That brings out Macho and Dusty for a pull-apart, but Brother Love keeps waffling and gets a beating from Dusty, much to the delight of the crowd. Not the worst of the segments, to be fair.

Jim Duggan def. The Big Boss Man via DQ (10:22)
As expected, this is a big, ugly, hoss fight, which suits the style of Duggan and Boss Man, but didn't do a lot for me. This is, of course, the last PPV where Boss Man is a heel, at least until he returns from WCW later in the nineties and hooks up with The Corporation. Big brawl to start this one off, which results in Boss Man flying into the steps on the outside in what is now a very standard spot (but got a good reaction in 1990). Boss Man actually does quite a few impressive moves in this match and was a real athlete under all that size. After Boss Man and the Slickster get some heat on Duggan, the latter makes a fightback and starts to mount some offense, while Slick takes a nice bump off a collision with Boss Man. Realising that Duggan isn't going to go down easily, Boss Man cuts his losses and wallops Duggan with the nightstick, leading to the DQ. This one got stiff and gnarly at times but 10 minutes was too long and there was a lot of time being killed in the middle there. *1/2

Post-match Duggan evens the odds with the 2x4 to take out the heels. HOOOOOOO! Backstage, the Royal Rumble participants look forward to the main event, including Hogan and the Warrior. How will they co-exist?

Hulk Hogan won the Royal Rumble, last eliminating Mr. Perfect (58:46)

  • Ted DiBiase is #1 and ends up setting the record for most time spent in a single Rumble at over 44 minutes. He manages to eliminate both Koko and Marty Jannetty before anyone else can enter.
  • Big early confrontation next, as Jake Roberts and Randy Savage are #4 and #5 respectively; they wouldn't feud of course until 1991 when the heel/face roles were reversed. Savage dumps Roberts and survives until Dusty Rhodes hits the ring at #10 and throws him out, heating up their feud as we approach WMVI.
  • Amidst all that, Roddy Piper (#6) and Bad News Brown (#9) get into it and after Piper eliminates him Bad News pulls him over the top rope, leading to a brawl at ringside. Really nice blend of different feuds and stories so far: just what you want for the opening third.
  • A barely mobile, but current Tag Team Champion, Andre the Giant is in at #11 for his final Rumble, but Ax (#13) and Smash (#15) work together and eliminate him, again setting up a WrestleMania match a few months down the line.
  • Still going by "The Canadian Earthquake" moniker, Earthquake is #19 and jettisons Dusty Rhodes from the match to assert his dominance. He doesn't last long though, as in the classic team-up against the big guy spot, about five guys all band together to get him over the top rope.
  • We kick off the final third with the arrival of The Ultimate Warrior at #21, who takes out Dino Bravo (#18) and helps toss Neidhart (#20) as well, before ending DiBiase's iron man run with a clothesline over the top rope.
  • Hulk Hogan is #25 as things really heat up. Once again, Hogan gets a bunch of eliminations on arrival, tossing Jimmy Snuka, Haku and Honky Tonk Man in quick succession. Not to be outdone, Warrior chucks a few more guys out and boom, we get the big stare down as the fans go ape shit. They have a bit of a skirmish, ending in a double clothesline, but it's just a taster really.
  • After Barbarian (#27) and Rude (#28) entered and set themselves upon Hogan, Warrior saved. Then, with some "accidental" help from Hogan, Rude and Barbarian eliminate Warrior! Well that's a small measure of revenge for Warrior tormenting Bobby Heenan for most of 1989, I suppose.
  • Perfect was the last to enter at #30, and our final five is Hogan, Rude, Barbarian, Perfect and, for some reason, Hercules? Hercules actually manages to get one over his old manager Bobby Heenan and eliminates Barbarian, before Rude dumps him out.
  • Once again, a babyface is outnumbered by two heels in the closing sequence, until Perfect inadvertently pulls the ropes down to send Rude flying out of the ring. They get all pissy with each other until Rude leaves, and we have our final two.
  • Perfect actually manages to hit Hogan with the Perfect Plex, but it's time to HULK UP and Hogan takes over, hitting Perfect with a bunch of clotheslines before sending him out to the floor and winning the match.
Well, there you have it, the first great Rumble match, which I would only improve by booking Warrior to win and more organically set up his WMVI encounter with Hogan. The roster is pretty much at its Golden Era peak at this point of 1990, only decreasing in quality from here, and this match is a testament to that. So many storylines are woven into this thing and there's very little downtime, which some Rumbles struggle with. ****

Hogan celebrates to Real American, and we're out of here!

Overall

You're halfway to a good Royal Rumble show when the Rumble itself delivers, and boy does the Rumble at this show deliver. The thing is, there's actually good stuff on the undercard too, not to mention a hot Orlando crowd who actively add to the quality of the matches. Definitely one of the better all-round shows around this time. 7/10