So... Aberdeen Anarchy. A LOT happened.
There was a co-promotion with a local donut shop so the pre-show match was a small battle royal. All the new rookies, the few people on the roster who didn't have a match, and a donut mascot. A bit of fun, some people bumped around the giant donut. Rhys Dawkins won and this gave him a future Undisputed Title shot which will be interesting given some details I'll mention later.
Kick off with a ladder match between the four teams for the tag titles. So much happened that I can't even document it. That weasely shit Richard R. Russell tried to get involved and grab the belts a few times but he's pathetic. Genuinely scary moment when Judas Grey slipped on a dive off a ladder. From my position it looked like he clipped the top rope neck first and wiped out on the floor. There was a hush over the crowd. You'll be glad to know he walked out fine though. He's great. I hope this doesn't hurt him long term. Anyway Casino Brutale won the titles and I look forward to the fun singles matches they'll have in future.
Second was the Tri-Counties match on a really front-loaded show. Bryan Tucker, that shitbag himself, came out with a clock to remind us of the ten-minute time limit. The allies being handcuffed together surprisingly didn't come into play that much, but finally someone beat the time limit, so Umar Mohammed is the new champion! Finally that gimmick's over and we can have actual matches in that title picture.
Third match, my most anticipated, was the LIFE MATCH! Captain Alan came out with a nurse, who wore a mask and gave him various things to use as weapons. You haven't lived until you've seen multiple urine samples, blood bag, stethoscope, and all that used as weapons. Nurse tried to give the Captain painkillers but gave him muscle relaxers by mistake and he lost all feeling in his legs, so they did some fun spots with him in a wheelchair. He got it back eventually but of course he didn't win. Finish had Aspen hit a piledriver, then use a defibrillator to revive Captain Alan so he could use the piledriver again. THIS IS WRESTLING
Match number four had special guest Nixon Newell, and replacement slightly-less-special guest Lana Austin. Honestly I think this last minute change was for the best, if only because of the epic heel crowd work Lana was doing. She did the Dominik thing where she couldn't talk over the crowd and it was great fun. One kid in the crowd had a red card and kept showing it to the heels. So when Lana was trying to mouth off Nixon went out, grabbed the red card, and sent Lana off. This is the experience you don't get in WWE. Match was fine, Nixon won obviously.
Before the main we had a tag team match with years of history. Oliver Green betrayed Evan Young half a year ago, and Chris Archer betrayed Mikkey Vago several years ago, so this is a match. Faces came out in Slipknot ass gear to Before I Forget. Oli has learned Archer's ways of being a greasy motherfucker. Fairly standard tag stuff and crowd was saving their breath for the main clearly but it was fun to bash on Archer. Finish came when a mystery hooded assailant attacked Vago and handed the heels the win. I have some ideas on who it could be, as he's skinny enough it could only be a very few people. So, one of the rookies or Tommy Raiden. If they're evil it'll be Tommy, he was an up-and-coming babyface but maybe he feels that Vago abandoned him for Evan Young. Maybe he feels Rejected, if you'll pardon the pun.
Main event! Caleb Valhalla vs. not-quite-heel-yet Damien with special referee very-much-heel Shawn Johnson. Brawling all over to start, heel heat, comeback, and then the melodrama begins. Shawn's trying to convince Damien to turn and win by cheating. Caleb bumps him. General manager Mr. P shows up and gets bumped. Shawn recovers and steals the win from Caleb by removing the replacement ref. Mr. P then TURNS HEEL?? and smacks Caleb with the belt. He then orders Damien to hit Caleb with the belt and he does it. Looks like we're doing heel authority now. Why Damien Why? Why P Why? We'll find out... What a show.
