The Undertaker starts off Raw. HOLY SHIT! He must have to leave early to get back to his wif.....oh wait. HE CAN BANG MICHELLE IN THE BACK SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO LEAVE EARLY!
Apparently dead men can roll their R's. UT tells Vickie that he will NOT forgive her of her sins. And that he will be coming for her, and her soul, and her little dog too. And then he sets the ring on fire, and resurrects the dead Johnny Cash. Ok, that last part isnt true. Vickie gets locked in her office/room and she poops herself.
R-Truth vs. Kenny Dykstra
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Kenny is on job duty. But he gets some good heat on the stick. Truth starts out fast but Kenny takes advantage of his overzealousness. He locks on a butterfly arm lock but Truth fights out. Kenny then tries to go to a sleeper but goes back to working on the back. But R-truth fights back and hits 2 spinny moves ftw.
Winner: R-Truth
Match Rating: *1/2
2 blondes calling each other untalented. Pot, this is kettle....
Michelle/Maria vs. Nattie/Maryse
Another DIVA tag? Really? Is this how you build a division? But Im not gonna complain as it was pretty standard, but fun, fare. Maria gets worked over for most of the match and gets Jake The Snake'd for the loss.
Winners: Nattie/Maryse
Match Rating: **
Aftermath: Michelle and Maryse get into a CAAAAAAAAAAATFIGHT CAAAAAAAAAAAATFIGHT!!
Jeff Hardy into MVP, continuing their feud. He said he will discombobulate him. HEY THATS MY WORD!
Vickie freaks out some more. She tries to call.....911? But the Undertaker has cunningly cut her phone chord apparently. I guess Vickie is living in the 1980s when people DIDNT HAVE CELL PHONES!
MVP vs. Jeff Hardy
In another REMATCH, this time from SS, Jeff and Montell go at. Staredown into a side headlock that Jeff holds onto like a pit bull. Two shoulderblocks by Hardy but MVP uses Jeffs momentum and tosses Hardy out. Jeff fights back into the ring and MVP takes a powder. Back to the side headlock. MVP takes Jeff down and talks shit but gets a fist in the face. Hardy with a legdrop and then does some DEEEEEEEEEEP armdrags a la Ricky Steamboat. MVP trie to beg off like Flair but Hardy is a few steps ahead of him. Jeff shoots him into the corner and charges but gets an elbow for a snack. Hardy gets taken down but Jeff sends MVP into the steel post. MVP takes another rest but Jeff nails him with a summersault plancha
I get back WAYYYYYYY after the commerical and MVP has taken over but Jeff is fighting back. MVP locks in a camel clutch. Hardy gets to the ropes but MVP drops some nasty elbows and knees. MVP hits a belly to belly toss but Jeff fights back into it. He fires up and goes for the WITW but MVP drops his ass and it looks sick. Hardy then reverses a top rope Belly To Back and starts to gain momentum. Jeff HITS the WITW and then manages to get off a Swanton for the win!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: ***
Aftermath: Shelton Benjamin comes out and gives paydirt to both to a chorus of............NOTHING!!!
Jesse and Festus vs. The Edgeheads
THis starts out like youd think. Until the Big Show hits the ring and destorys EVERYONE. Except Festus who just stands there dumbly. TBS says he shouldnt be being overlooked. Sounds like he and Kenny need to start a tag team. He then subtlety says this will continue until he gets some attention. He then thanks the crowd and leaves.
Winner: The Big Show
Segment Rating: ** (lulz factor)
Vickie is still pooping her pants.
Hey, speaking of underused...
Victoria vs. Bree Bella (?)
Wow. Well at least they are giving the women some play but, a debut? Victoria dominates most of the match using some very stiff offense to break in the noob. The noob gets some great snap mares in, some ive never seen before. AND SINCE I AM TALKING ABOUT SNAP MARES you know they have to be seen at least once. Anyway, Bree gets tossed out and tries to crawl under the ring, for some reason......but Victoria gets her back in the ring. She gets her up but Bree gets a small package for the win.
Winner: Bree Bella
Match Rating: *1/2
Raw Rebound
John Cena's rehab is seen. He's the 10 million dollar man. We can rebuild him...."Y2Cheap at 100 yards, dadadadadadadada"
The cuts a promo. He's proving how smart he is. Apparently Zeke knows when Tsun Tsu wrote "The Art Of War".
HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin
Benjamin one ups HHH to start. Not smart man, he'll make you job AND THEN make you carry his bags. H outwrestles him BUT Benji takes it back with some more deep drags and a top arm lock. Benjamin tries to throw hands with HHH and gets dominated. Trips takes Shelton down and works over his arm. Some more offense from H on the arm but Benji kicks in with that viciousness again. Benjamin goes for it all and HHH almost pedigrees him. Shelton....OUT (of the ring) and we go to commercial.
HHH comes back into the ring and Shelton gives him a neckbreaker and takes over. After some Undertaker like offense, Benji locks in a NAAAAAAAAASTY neckbreaker. And then locks in an even NAAAAAAAAAAASTIER headcissor necklock. Man, HHH's whole upper body is red. The Gold Standard tries to suplex Trips out of the ring but H reverses it until Shelton counters THAT counter, with a counter of his own. COUNTER! Benji with an Orton lock DOMINATING HHH. Shelton hits one Stinger Splash and goes for another but HHH moves. H with a nasty shot to the back of Benjamins head. We get a slugfest. HHH with the knee and then a running powerslam and a cover. Benjamin gets back into it with a hard HARD kick to H's head. DUDE HE'S THE BANKROLL OF THE COMPANY WHY ARE YOU STIFFING HIM!? HHH hits a spinebuster and then thinks Pedigree but Shelton counters. Khali comes out and HHH almost gets beat but reverses that reversal of Benjis into a pedigree for the win.
Winner: HHH
Match Rating: ***
Aftermath: Shelton Benjamin LEAVES HHH LAYING after a shot to his head with the US Title. Khali comes in and picks the bones.
Vickie is alone when BOOM, the lights go out and she screams. Lovely.
This was the best SD in at least a month. Two great matches, the stories are all progressing nicely and the squashes were non existent.
Dont forget to read SPs Raw Review and...that one guys ECW review. AND MY NO SMARK ZONE TOO!!!
Apparently dead men can roll their R's. UT tells Vickie that he will NOT forgive her of her sins. And that he will be coming for her, and her soul, and her little dog too. And then he sets the ring on fire, and resurrects the dead Johnny Cash. Ok, that last part isnt true. Vickie gets locked in her office/room and she poops herself.
R-Truth vs. Kenny Dykstra
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Kenny is on job duty. But he gets some good heat on the stick. Truth starts out fast but Kenny takes advantage of his overzealousness. He locks on a butterfly arm lock but Truth fights out. Kenny then tries to go to a sleeper but goes back to working on the back. But R-truth fights back and hits 2 spinny moves ftw.
Winner: R-Truth
Match Rating: *1/2
2 blondes calling each other untalented. Pot, this is kettle....
Michelle/Maria vs. Nattie/Maryse
Another DIVA tag? Really? Is this how you build a division? But Im not gonna complain as it was pretty standard, but fun, fare. Maria gets worked over for most of the match and gets Jake The Snake'd for the loss.
Winners: Nattie/Maryse
Match Rating: **
Aftermath: Michelle and Maryse get into a CAAAAAAAAAAATFIGHT CAAAAAAAAAAAATFIGHT!!
Jeff Hardy into MVP, continuing their feud. He said he will discombobulate him. HEY THATS MY WORD!
Vickie freaks out some more. She tries to call.....911? But the Undertaker has cunningly cut her phone chord apparently. I guess Vickie is living in the 1980s when people DIDNT HAVE CELL PHONES!
MVP vs. Jeff Hardy
In another REMATCH, this time from SS, Jeff and Montell go at. Staredown into a side headlock that Jeff holds onto like a pit bull. Two shoulderblocks by Hardy but MVP uses Jeffs momentum and tosses Hardy out. Jeff fights back into the ring and MVP takes a powder. Back to the side headlock. MVP takes Jeff down and talks shit but gets a fist in the face. Hardy with a legdrop and then does some DEEEEEEEEEEP armdrags a la Ricky Steamboat. MVP trie to beg off like Flair but Hardy is a few steps ahead of him. Jeff shoots him into the corner and charges but gets an elbow for a snack. Hardy gets taken down but Jeff sends MVP into the steel post. MVP takes another rest but Jeff nails him with a summersault plancha
I get back WAYYYYYYY after the commerical and MVP has taken over but Jeff is fighting back. MVP locks in a camel clutch. Hardy gets to the ropes but MVP drops some nasty elbows and knees. MVP hits a belly to belly toss but Jeff fights back into it. He fires up and goes for the WITW but MVP drops his ass and it looks sick. Hardy then reverses a top rope Belly To Back and starts to gain momentum. Jeff HITS the WITW and then manages to get off a Swanton for the win!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: ***
Aftermath: Shelton Benjamin comes out and gives paydirt to both to a chorus of............NOTHING!!!
Jesse and Festus vs. The Edgeheads
THis starts out like youd think. Until the Big Show hits the ring and destorys EVERYONE. Except Festus who just stands there dumbly. TBS says he shouldnt be being overlooked. Sounds like he and Kenny need to start a tag team. He then subtlety says this will continue until he gets some attention. He then thanks the crowd and leaves.
Winner: The Big Show
Segment Rating: ** (lulz factor)
Vickie is still pooping her pants.
Hey, speaking of underused...
Victoria vs. Bree Bella (?)
Wow. Well at least they are giving the women some play but, a debut? Victoria dominates most of the match using some very stiff offense to break in the noob. The noob gets some great snap mares in, some ive never seen before. AND SINCE I AM TALKING ABOUT SNAP MARES you know they have to be seen at least once. Anyway, Bree gets tossed out and tries to crawl under the ring, for some reason......but Victoria gets her back in the ring. She gets her up but Bree gets a small package for the win.
Winner: Bree Bella
Match Rating: *1/2
Raw Rebound
John Cena's rehab is seen. He's the 10 million dollar man. We can rebuild him...."Y2Cheap at 100 yards, dadadadadadadada"
The cuts a promo. He's proving how smart he is. Apparently Zeke knows when Tsun Tsu wrote "The Art Of War".
HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin
Benjamin one ups HHH to start. Not smart man, he'll make you job AND THEN make you carry his bags. H outwrestles him BUT Benji takes it back with some more deep drags and a top arm lock. Benjamin tries to throw hands with HHH and gets dominated. Trips takes Shelton down and works over his arm. Some more offense from H on the arm but Benji kicks in with that viciousness again. Benjamin goes for it all and HHH almost pedigrees him. Shelton....OUT (of the ring) and we go to commercial.
HHH comes back into the ring and Shelton gives him a neckbreaker and takes over. After some Undertaker like offense, Benji locks in a NAAAAAAAAASTY neckbreaker. And then locks in an even NAAAAAAAAAAASTIER headcissor necklock. Man, HHH's whole upper body is red. The Gold Standard tries to suplex Trips out of the ring but H reverses it until Shelton counters THAT counter, with a counter of his own. COUNTER! Benji with an Orton lock DOMINATING HHH. Shelton hits one Stinger Splash and goes for another but HHH moves. H with a nasty shot to the back of Benjamins head. We get a slugfest. HHH with the knee and then a running powerslam and a cover. Benjamin gets back into it with a hard HARD kick to H's head. DUDE HE'S THE BANKROLL OF THE COMPANY WHY ARE YOU STIFFING HIM!? HHH hits a spinebuster and then thinks Pedigree but Shelton counters. Khali comes out and HHH almost gets beat but reverses that reversal of Benjis into a pedigree for the win.
Winner: HHH
Match Rating: ***
Aftermath: Shelton Benjamin LEAVES HHH LAYING after a shot to his head with the US Title. Khali comes in and picks the bones.
Vickie is alone when BOOM, the lights go out and she screams. Lovely.
This was the best SD in at least a month. Two great matches, the stories are all progressing nicely and the squashes were non existent.
Dont forget to read SPs Raw Review and...that one guys ECW review. AND MY NO SMARK ZONE TOO!!!
