THE Brian Kendrick's Biceps
Guest
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I am back here with the Impact! review after my Hard Justice review went down pretty well (at least to me it did). So guess what: THIS MAY BECOME A PERMANENT THING!
Anyway, on tap for Impact! tonight? I have no idea. Will we see Sting? Probably not. Will we see Jeff Jarrett? Once again, probably not, although it is more likely than seeing Sting. Anyway, let’s get onto the show, which is of course live from Universal Studios (>_>)!
To start off we get a video summarising Hard Justice, which was pretty cool.
Lauren chases Joe and asks him how the guitar got there. Is she completely stupid? Bimbo. Joe tells her that everyone wants in on the action.
We get the hype for tonight’s card, which looks decent. Hemme vs Wilde for some reason, as well as Team 3D vs Joe/Nash, and Hernandez vs Storm.
Rock n’ Rave Infection vs Team Rage
$50 says this is a squash. Which is unfortunate because Jimmy Rave is greatness. We start this off with Rhino just dominating Rave. A nice Walker (clothesline from Rhino). In comes Cage and Rave cops a double hip toss. Cage dominates Rave, until he tags Rock. Rick gets some offense, until, Cage gets the tag, and Rhino comes in with a nice belly to belly. Rhino sets up for the Gore, but Jimmy Rave trips him, then bulls him nut first into the ringpost. Rock n Rave then take over, with smashmouth offense. Hemme gets in it choking Rhino over the second rope. Rave then continues the kicks on Rhino, until Rhino hits a spinebuster for the two, with Rock making the save. Rock tries to attack Rhino, but Rhino hits a Walker. In comes Cage and he cleans house. Nice Walker on Rave. Inverted DDT on Rave for two. Unprettier set up, but Rock gets a big boot. In comes Rhino, and he takes Rock out. Double back body drop on Rave. Gore. Frog Splash. Three.
Winners: Team Rage
Match Rating *1/2
Comments: Glorified squash.
JB is backstage with Kurt. Why is he here, and not taking time off? Angle says his neck is injured. THEN DON’T WRESTLE. Angle brags about his Gold Medal, them complains that his match at Hard Justice had nothing to do with wrestling. Nice line saying AJ broke the rules and cheated to win. Angle thanks God that Sting saved him. Not evil Sting! AJ vs Angle for the Gold Medal?! AJ could win it which would be monumental ... if Eugene hadn’t won it. Nice promo though.
AD BREAK
JB is with AJ for his answer. He gets around, doesn’t he? JB tells AJ what he did at Hard Justice, you know, in case AJ forgot. AJ tells everyone he went through with keeping Angle down. AJ says Sting is no different to Angle, and that Sting can’t make an example out of him. AJ GURANTEES that the Gold Medal will come home with AJ. Just like Karen, m i rite?
Lauren is now with Matt Morgan. Matt has two goals he says. To realise his full potential of being a main eventer, and to be the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. TNA can stack up everyone they want because in the end, the Blueprint is going to ... knock ... them ... down!
AD BREAK
Matt Morgan vs Johnny Devine
Devine didn’t even get an entrance. He was smiling when Morgan came down the ring. Maybe he likes jobbing. He gets into the ... chest of Morgan. How intimidating. He slaps Morgan, then runs. Morgan pushes Devine away, then takes him down with a Walker. Squash in the corner (how ironic), then a big boot attempt from Morgan that Devine ducks, leaving Morgan hung up on the ropes. Devine hammers away until he cops the bicycle kick. Hellavator. Done.
Winner: Matt Morgan
Rating: *
Comments: lol squash.
Team 3D jump Morgan because according to DW, “They know the potential of Morgan.†Off go the sirens, and Morgan gets saved by everyone’s favourite Guardian Monster, Abyss. Abyss Black Hole Slams Devine while 3D run. Morgan and then shake hands, which is amazing according to Tenay and West. They seriously oversell things that obviously don’t need it.
AD BREAK
We have Karen’s Angle with the Beautiful People.
Velvet and Angelina are apparently heartbroken that no one likes them. Because they are amazingly hot. Velvet is. Horse face not so much. Karen suggests they be nice, which they shoot down. Oh God. Mr Ass is here. WHY?! He’s super fabulous! And we are done. Please don’t make those three a permanent arrangement. I would say what happened after Kip came in, but I tried to block it out.
We randomly see Gail Kim’s ‘sister’, then go back with Lauren.
Jay Lethal is going mental. He says Val has to choose between her and Sonjay. I thought he was pissed off at the match they had on Sunday. Jay says when it comes to Sonjay, screw Val. I’m sure he would.
AD BREAK
Sheik Abdul Bashir comes down to the ring, and speaks what I’m guessing is Persian. The only bit I understand is when he says Sheik Abdul Bashir for that part. He goes on to say he doesn’t care about the fans, because he understands. He says he took everything America had, including fame, which I don’t really see. Bashir doesn’t love Lady America, but he loves raping her. How sweet.
Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Jay Lethal
Lethal just takes down Bashir, and we start off with some brawling. Lethal takes over with his hip toss dropkick combo. Bashir goes out to the floor, and Lethal jumps out onto him with a suicide dive. Lethal throws Bashir back into the ring, and scores the double sledge for two. Lethal goes into the corner and up to the second rope, only to be pulled down to the mat from Bashir for two. A couple of neckbreakers from Bashir for a couple of two counts. Bashir buries his knee into the back of Lethal, then gets a reverse chinlock. Lethal fights up, and falls on Bashir when he scoops him up. Bashir takes back over for another two, before applying the chinlock again. Bashir goes for the back suplex, but Lethal lands behind him, then hits some Walker’s, before a back body drop for two. Bashir hits a jawbreaker, but then gets hit with a fisherman suplex version of the Chaos Theory. Lethal kicks away on Bashir into the corner until the referee pulls him away. Bashir pulls a spike out of his boot, and hits Lethal in the throat. Bashir hits a DDT with Lethal down on his knees ftw.
Winner: Sheik Abdul Bashir
Rating: **1/2
Comments: Nice solid X style match.
Dutt comes down the ramp smiling, then hits the Hindu Press on the downed Lethal, while the crowd go indifferent.
JB is backstage with Booker, who cuts a promo on THE GUITAR. You mess with Booker T, you get his foot up yo ... and we’re done with that. JB says we kept the footage rolling after Hard Justice, and we see the footage of Nash and Sting after ....
AD BREAK
We are back, and we see the same Sting promo I am sure we have seen every week for the month. The only difference is we see the Scorpion Death Drop.
Nash asks Sting if he is confused as the footage exclusive roles. Sting says he isn’t confused, and that the time for action is now. It is now or never. Is this indicating a Nash turn?
Team 3D vs Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe
We get Joe and Devon starting off, with Joe running through Devon a few times, before taking him down with a kick. Devon comes back with a poke to the eye, before tagging in Ray. Double suplex on Joe, but only two. Joe comes back with snapmare/chop/kick/knee drop, before tagging in Nash. Corner clothesline, then Nash knees in the corner. A few elbows now. He chokes Ray with his boot, which is like taking a step. Devon takes a cheap shot, and 3D get back in it, until, a sidewalk slam for Devon.
AD BREAK
We are back, and 3D is double teaming Nash. Devon then takes over and controls the leg of Nash. More double teaming on the knee. Ray then runs over and knocks Ray off the corner. Ray now bends the leg of Nash. Usually, that shouldn’t hurt, but even that is enough to cause surgery on Nash’s knees. Ray then turns it into a half crab for awhile, before letting up, and working on the leg some more. Devon charges at Nash but cops a big boot. Ray charges in and cops a Walker. Three men down in the ring, Joe fresh and waiting. Joe comes in and cleans house on three say with some nice combo moves. Joe hits a big kick on Ray, then whips Devon into a big boot from Nash for two. Ray knocks Nash out of the ring, and 3D hit their reverse 3D on Joe for the two. They know set up for the 3D, but Nash pulls Ray out. Devon turns around to see what is happening, and Joe grabs the Rear Naked Choke, with Devon tapping.
Winners: Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash
Rating: **
Comments: The match was alright, although it wasn't anything we haven't seen before. Just a basic tag match. Joe didn't even get to use that many of his moves.
Joe goes to ringside and grabs a steel chair with no reasoning at all, before going nuts on Devon. Nash says no, and Hebner tries to stop him. Joe hits Hebner, resulting in a terrible bump. Hebner then reverses his decision!
New Winners: Team 3D
We see Taylor and Christy preparing for their match which is next.
AD BREAK
Taylor Wilde vs Christy Hemme
Special Referee: Traci Brooks
Traci is apparently trying to become in charge of the Knockout’s by being a referee. I can’t wait until Earl is in charge of the heavyweights. The action starts, and Wilde uses some arm drags, before stretching Christy, until Christy bits her fingers. Wilde sends Hemme into the corner, then charges in but meets the turnbuckle. Hemme then hits a badly botched bulldog, which gets some heat from the crowd. Hemme pulls the hair of Wilde and stomps on her for a few two counts. Wilde starts to fight back, until Hemme slams her down to the mat by the hair. Two count, while the crowd arte behind Taylor, mainly because Hemme is shit. Hemme chokes Wilde in the corner with her boot, then starts taunting, until Wilde springs up and hits an arm drag, before some Walker’s and a Northern Lights suplex for two. Wilde hits some kicks, until Hemme throws her down by the hair. Hemme hits the split leg drop for two. She goes up top and attempts it, but Taylor rolls out of the way. Taylor then gets a German suplex into the bridge ftw.
Winner: Taylor Wilde
Rating: *
Comments: Hemme dragged this down with the botch and some shit offense. Just don't let her wrestle plz.
Kong comes down and attacks Taylor. Traci pulls her away by the hair, but King slams her down hard with an STJoe. Wilde runs and jumps on Kong. Saeed however pulls Taylor down, then stomps on her. Saeed goes out and gets a chair, and calls for the Awesome Bomb on the chair. Kim though runs down and starts to clean house until Kong swats her. Kong slams her, then goes for the chair shot, but Kim ducks it, then hits some big dropkicks, sending Kong off. Kim’s ‘sister’ was shown numerous times in this segment.
AD BREAK
We get a vid hyping up Creed, and how he always wanted to wrestle. What an inspiring story.
Lauren is now with LAX. Hector Guerrero talks to fast, and tries to act too Mexican. Hernandez says his brother, Homicide, was taken away last week. He will take Storm out old school. Meanwhile, Hector won’t shut the fuck up until ...
AD BREAK
The history of LAX and Beer Money is shown, and they put on a pretty good video package.
Lauren is with Beer Money. Roode talks about Homicide having permanent eye damage (wait, isn’t this storyline happening elsewhere ... and didn’t it happen when AMW broke up), while Storm dinks being awesome. I can’t do justice to him in writing. He was gold in this promo.
James Storm vs Hernandez
Hernandez jumps Storm on the outside, then brutalises him. We move into the ring, and Hernandez squashes Storm in the corner, then throws him out to the floor. Hernandez then jumps up and onto Storm and Roode. Hernandez moves Storm back into the ring and squashes him for two. Hernandez stays on offense until Roode distracts him and hits an enzuiguri for two. Strom then hits a knee drop for two, before applying a sleeper. Hernandez fights out of it, then goes for a clothesline, but Storm ducks it, then gets a running knee for the two count. Storm fish hooks Hernandez’s face, then mouths off to him. Hernandez suddenly stands up, getting Storm onto his shoulders. Hernandez then falls back, with an electric chair. Hernandez takes over with right hands, before some Walker’s, and a back body drop. Strom goes for a right hand, but Hernandez blocks and hits a half nelson suplex for two. Hernandez gets two, then lifts Storm and puts him in the top rope. Hernandez goes up for a superplex, but Jackie holds his leg. Hernandez drops down, and Storm catches Storm with a swinging reverse DDT for two. Storm gets up, and Hernandez comes back with the back body drop. Hernandez then goes for the Border Toss, but Roode climbs up onto the apron, and pulls Storm down. Storm takes back over, then goes up to the second rope. He jumps off for a cross body block, but Storm catches him, then throws him up and hits a sit out powerbomb for the three.
Winner: Hernandez
Rating: **
Comments: Nice match for the limited time they had. Used what they could.
We see AJ and Angle on the split screen and are told they are coming for our main event which is next.
AD BREAK
We are back, and Cornette is at ringside. Next week, we are getting Hernandez vs Robert Roode, as well as a Street Fight between Kong and Kim. We will also get a four way at No Surrender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, with three qualifying matches coming over the next few weeks, starting with Rhino vs Booker T next week.
We learn the rules for the match for the Medal .. kind of. I’m still not sure what’s going on with these points, but I’m sure we will get a definitive finish.
Gold Medal Championship
Kurt Angle (c) vs AJ Styles
The Medal gets handed down to who I am sure is Sakoda (see Tajiri’s old army with Akio) at ringside. Anyway, we are off. There will be three two minute rounds, or until we get a pin. Angle gets a takedown, and TWO POINTS. Back up. We have a whole lot of nothing. Takedown from Angle. TWO POINTS. Takedown by Angle. TWO POINTS.
End of Round One
Angle- 6
Styles- 0
Jostling between AJ and Kurt, and AJ gets a nearfall, takedown and nearfall, FOUR POINTS. AJ is out run out of the ring, and we go back in. Takedown for Angle. TWO POINTS. Tenay tells us his score that he has got, despite it being on the screen. Take down and nearfall for AJ (although Angle’s left shoulder was always up), FOUR POINTS.
End of Round Two
Angle- 8
Styles- 8
Lock up. Angle goes for a takedown, but AJ goes behind. Riveting. Elbow cheap shot, then a takedown for Angle. TWO POINTS. What a heel! Front face lock from Angle, as he time wastes. AJ gets up with thirty seconds left, then suplexes Angle into the referee. ZOMG CLOTHESLINE FROM KURT. NO SPIRIT OF COMPETITION. The lights go out. ZOMG STING! Angle has the bat. Lights go back out. Jarrett’s music plays. AJ is behind AJ with the guitar. BAM. Angle is bleeding, and AJ gets the three ftw.
Winner (and new Gold Medal Champion): AJ Styles
Rating: I have no fucking clue
Comments: a) The time limit officially ran out, referee or not.
b) Wouldn’t the referee have seen Angle bleeding, therefore noticing foul play
AJ stands up looking shocked, while the commentators ask if it could be HIM. Of course it is fucking Jarrett, didn’t you hear the music?
Overall Thoughts: Too many matches on this show. Promos were alright, but they should have less matches for more time. Creed vs Bashir isn’t being followed up after Hard Justice which is disappointing. This whole Jarrett vs Sting thing is pretty cool though IMO, it would just be better if the commentators didn’t oversell it.
Alright, thanks for reading and remember to check out SP’s Raw review, TJ’s ECW review, and Kaedon’s SmackDown! review, as well as the 44th No Smark Zone.
That’s all for me, thanks for reading, and leave commetns and advice plz.
Anyway, on tap for Impact! tonight? I have no idea. Will we see Sting? Probably not. Will we see Jeff Jarrett? Once again, probably not, although it is more likely than seeing Sting. Anyway, let’s get onto the show, which is of course live from Universal Studios (>_>)!
To start off we get a video summarising Hard Justice, which was pretty cool.
Lauren chases Joe and asks him how the guitar got there. Is she completely stupid? Bimbo. Joe tells her that everyone wants in on the action.
We get the hype for tonight’s card, which looks decent. Hemme vs Wilde for some reason, as well as Team 3D vs Joe/Nash, and Hernandez vs Storm.
Rock n’ Rave Infection vs Team Rage
$50 says this is a squash. Which is unfortunate because Jimmy Rave is greatness. We start this off with Rhino just dominating Rave. A nice Walker (clothesline from Rhino). In comes Cage and Rave cops a double hip toss. Cage dominates Rave, until he tags Rock. Rick gets some offense, until, Cage gets the tag, and Rhino comes in with a nice belly to belly. Rhino sets up for the Gore, but Jimmy Rave trips him, then bulls him nut first into the ringpost. Rock n Rave then take over, with smashmouth offense. Hemme gets in it choking Rhino over the second rope. Rave then continues the kicks on Rhino, until Rhino hits a spinebuster for the two, with Rock making the save. Rock tries to attack Rhino, but Rhino hits a Walker. In comes Cage and he cleans house. Nice Walker on Rave. Inverted DDT on Rave for two. Unprettier set up, but Rock gets a big boot. In comes Rhino, and he takes Rock out. Double back body drop on Rave. Gore. Frog Splash. Three.
Winners: Team Rage
Match Rating *1/2
Comments: Glorified squash.
JB is backstage with Kurt. Why is he here, and not taking time off? Angle says his neck is injured. THEN DON’T WRESTLE. Angle brags about his Gold Medal, them complains that his match at Hard Justice had nothing to do with wrestling. Nice line saying AJ broke the rules and cheated to win. Angle thanks God that Sting saved him. Not evil Sting! AJ vs Angle for the Gold Medal?! AJ could win it which would be monumental ... if Eugene hadn’t won it. Nice promo though.
AD BREAK
JB is with AJ for his answer. He gets around, doesn’t he? JB tells AJ what he did at Hard Justice, you know, in case AJ forgot. AJ tells everyone he went through with keeping Angle down. AJ says Sting is no different to Angle, and that Sting can’t make an example out of him. AJ GURANTEES that the Gold Medal will come home with AJ. Just like Karen, m i rite?
Lauren is now with Matt Morgan. Matt has two goals he says. To realise his full potential of being a main eventer, and to be the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. TNA can stack up everyone they want because in the end, the Blueprint is going to ... knock ... them ... down!
AD BREAK
Matt Morgan vs Johnny Devine
Devine didn’t even get an entrance. He was smiling when Morgan came down the ring. Maybe he likes jobbing. He gets into the ... chest of Morgan. How intimidating. He slaps Morgan, then runs. Morgan pushes Devine away, then takes him down with a Walker. Squash in the corner (how ironic), then a big boot attempt from Morgan that Devine ducks, leaving Morgan hung up on the ropes. Devine hammers away until he cops the bicycle kick. Hellavator. Done.
Winner: Matt Morgan
Rating: *
Comments: lol squash.
Team 3D jump Morgan because according to DW, “They know the potential of Morgan.†Off go the sirens, and Morgan gets saved by everyone’s favourite Guardian Monster, Abyss. Abyss Black Hole Slams Devine while 3D run. Morgan and then shake hands, which is amazing according to Tenay and West. They seriously oversell things that obviously don’t need it.
AD BREAK
We have Karen’s Angle with the Beautiful People.
Velvet and Angelina are apparently heartbroken that no one likes them. Because they are amazingly hot. Velvet is. Horse face not so much. Karen suggests they be nice, which they shoot down. Oh God. Mr Ass is here. WHY?! He’s super fabulous! And we are done. Please don’t make those three a permanent arrangement. I would say what happened after Kip came in, but I tried to block it out.
We randomly see Gail Kim’s ‘sister’, then go back with Lauren.
Jay Lethal is going mental. He says Val has to choose between her and Sonjay. I thought he was pissed off at the match they had on Sunday. Jay says when it comes to Sonjay, screw Val. I’m sure he would.
AD BREAK
Sheik Abdul Bashir comes down to the ring, and speaks what I’m guessing is Persian. The only bit I understand is when he says Sheik Abdul Bashir for that part. He goes on to say he doesn’t care about the fans, because he understands. He says he took everything America had, including fame, which I don’t really see. Bashir doesn’t love Lady America, but he loves raping her. How sweet.
Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Jay Lethal
Lethal just takes down Bashir, and we start off with some brawling. Lethal takes over with his hip toss dropkick combo. Bashir goes out to the floor, and Lethal jumps out onto him with a suicide dive. Lethal throws Bashir back into the ring, and scores the double sledge for two. Lethal goes into the corner and up to the second rope, only to be pulled down to the mat from Bashir for two. A couple of neckbreakers from Bashir for a couple of two counts. Bashir buries his knee into the back of Lethal, then gets a reverse chinlock. Lethal fights up, and falls on Bashir when he scoops him up. Bashir takes back over for another two, before applying the chinlock again. Bashir goes for the back suplex, but Lethal lands behind him, then hits some Walker’s, before a back body drop for two. Bashir hits a jawbreaker, but then gets hit with a fisherman suplex version of the Chaos Theory. Lethal kicks away on Bashir into the corner until the referee pulls him away. Bashir pulls a spike out of his boot, and hits Lethal in the throat. Bashir hits a DDT with Lethal down on his knees ftw.
Winner: Sheik Abdul Bashir
Rating: **1/2
Comments: Nice solid X style match.
Dutt comes down the ramp smiling, then hits the Hindu Press on the downed Lethal, while the crowd go indifferent.
JB is backstage with Booker, who cuts a promo on THE GUITAR. You mess with Booker T, you get his foot up yo ... and we’re done with that. JB says we kept the footage rolling after Hard Justice, and we see the footage of Nash and Sting after ....
AD BREAK
We are back, and we see the same Sting promo I am sure we have seen every week for the month. The only difference is we see the Scorpion Death Drop.
Nash asks Sting if he is confused as the footage exclusive roles. Sting says he isn’t confused, and that the time for action is now. It is now or never. Is this indicating a Nash turn?
Team 3D vs Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe
We get Joe and Devon starting off, with Joe running through Devon a few times, before taking him down with a kick. Devon comes back with a poke to the eye, before tagging in Ray. Double suplex on Joe, but only two. Joe comes back with snapmare/chop/kick/knee drop, before tagging in Nash. Corner clothesline, then Nash knees in the corner. A few elbows now. He chokes Ray with his boot, which is like taking a step. Devon takes a cheap shot, and 3D get back in it, until, a sidewalk slam for Devon.
AD BREAK
We are back, and 3D is double teaming Nash. Devon then takes over and controls the leg of Nash. More double teaming on the knee. Ray then runs over and knocks Ray off the corner. Ray now bends the leg of Nash. Usually, that shouldn’t hurt, but even that is enough to cause surgery on Nash’s knees. Ray then turns it into a half crab for awhile, before letting up, and working on the leg some more. Devon charges at Nash but cops a big boot. Ray charges in and cops a Walker. Three men down in the ring, Joe fresh and waiting. Joe comes in and cleans house on three say with some nice combo moves. Joe hits a big kick on Ray, then whips Devon into a big boot from Nash for two. Ray knocks Nash out of the ring, and 3D hit their reverse 3D on Joe for the two. They know set up for the 3D, but Nash pulls Ray out. Devon turns around to see what is happening, and Joe grabs the Rear Naked Choke, with Devon tapping.
Winners: Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash
Rating: **
Comments: The match was alright, although it wasn't anything we haven't seen before. Just a basic tag match. Joe didn't even get to use that many of his moves.
Joe goes to ringside and grabs a steel chair with no reasoning at all, before going nuts on Devon. Nash says no, and Hebner tries to stop him. Joe hits Hebner, resulting in a terrible bump. Hebner then reverses his decision!
New Winners: Team 3D
We see Taylor and Christy preparing for their match which is next.
AD BREAK
Taylor Wilde vs Christy Hemme
Special Referee: Traci Brooks
Traci is apparently trying to become in charge of the Knockout’s by being a referee. I can’t wait until Earl is in charge of the heavyweights. The action starts, and Wilde uses some arm drags, before stretching Christy, until Christy bits her fingers. Wilde sends Hemme into the corner, then charges in but meets the turnbuckle. Hemme then hits a badly botched bulldog, which gets some heat from the crowd. Hemme pulls the hair of Wilde and stomps on her for a few two counts. Wilde starts to fight back, until Hemme slams her down to the mat by the hair. Two count, while the crowd arte behind Taylor, mainly because Hemme is shit. Hemme chokes Wilde in the corner with her boot, then starts taunting, until Wilde springs up and hits an arm drag, before some Walker’s and a Northern Lights suplex for two. Wilde hits some kicks, until Hemme throws her down by the hair. Hemme hits the split leg drop for two. She goes up top and attempts it, but Taylor rolls out of the way. Taylor then gets a German suplex into the bridge ftw.
Winner: Taylor Wilde
Rating: *
Comments: Hemme dragged this down with the botch and some shit offense. Just don't let her wrestle plz.
Kong comes down and attacks Taylor. Traci pulls her away by the hair, but King slams her down hard with an STJoe. Wilde runs and jumps on Kong. Saeed however pulls Taylor down, then stomps on her. Saeed goes out and gets a chair, and calls for the Awesome Bomb on the chair. Kim though runs down and starts to clean house until Kong swats her. Kong slams her, then goes for the chair shot, but Kim ducks it, then hits some big dropkicks, sending Kong off. Kim’s ‘sister’ was shown numerous times in this segment.
AD BREAK
We get a vid hyping up Creed, and how he always wanted to wrestle. What an inspiring story.
Lauren is now with LAX. Hector Guerrero talks to fast, and tries to act too Mexican. Hernandez says his brother, Homicide, was taken away last week. He will take Storm out old school. Meanwhile, Hector won’t shut the fuck up until ...
AD BREAK
The history of LAX and Beer Money is shown, and they put on a pretty good video package.
Lauren is with Beer Money. Roode talks about Homicide having permanent eye damage (wait, isn’t this storyline happening elsewhere ... and didn’t it happen when AMW broke up), while Storm dinks being awesome. I can’t do justice to him in writing. He was gold in this promo.
James Storm vs Hernandez
Hernandez jumps Storm on the outside, then brutalises him. We move into the ring, and Hernandez squashes Storm in the corner, then throws him out to the floor. Hernandez then jumps up and onto Storm and Roode. Hernandez moves Storm back into the ring and squashes him for two. Hernandez stays on offense until Roode distracts him and hits an enzuiguri for two. Strom then hits a knee drop for two, before applying a sleeper. Hernandez fights out of it, then goes for a clothesline, but Storm ducks it, then gets a running knee for the two count. Storm fish hooks Hernandez’s face, then mouths off to him. Hernandez suddenly stands up, getting Storm onto his shoulders. Hernandez then falls back, with an electric chair. Hernandez takes over with right hands, before some Walker’s, and a back body drop. Strom goes for a right hand, but Hernandez blocks and hits a half nelson suplex for two. Hernandez gets two, then lifts Storm and puts him in the top rope. Hernandez goes up for a superplex, but Jackie holds his leg. Hernandez drops down, and Storm catches Storm with a swinging reverse DDT for two. Storm gets up, and Hernandez comes back with the back body drop. Hernandez then goes for the Border Toss, but Roode climbs up onto the apron, and pulls Storm down. Storm takes back over, then goes up to the second rope. He jumps off for a cross body block, but Storm catches him, then throws him up and hits a sit out powerbomb for the three.
Winner: Hernandez
Rating: **
Comments: Nice match for the limited time they had. Used what they could.
We see AJ and Angle on the split screen and are told they are coming for our main event which is next.
AD BREAK
We are back, and Cornette is at ringside. Next week, we are getting Hernandez vs Robert Roode, as well as a Street Fight between Kong and Kim. We will also get a four way at No Surrender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, with three qualifying matches coming over the next few weeks, starting with Rhino vs Booker T next week.
We learn the rules for the match for the Medal .. kind of. I’m still not sure what’s going on with these points, but I’m sure we will get a definitive finish.
Gold Medal Championship
Kurt Angle (c) vs AJ Styles
The Medal gets handed down to who I am sure is Sakoda (see Tajiri’s old army with Akio) at ringside. Anyway, we are off. There will be three two minute rounds, or until we get a pin. Angle gets a takedown, and TWO POINTS. Back up. We have a whole lot of nothing. Takedown from Angle. TWO POINTS. Takedown by Angle. TWO POINTS.
End of Round One
Angle- 6
Styles- 0
Jostling between AJ and Kurt, and AJ gets a nearfall, takedown and nearfall, FOUR POINTS. AJ is out run out of the ring, and we go back in. Takedown for Angle. TWO POINTS. Tenay tells us his score that he has got, despite it being on the screen. Take down and nearfall for AJ (although Angle’s left shoulder was always up), FOUR POINTS.
End of Round Two
Angle- 8
Styles- 8
Lock up. Angle goes for a takedown, but AJ goes behind. Riveting. Elbow cheap shot, then a takedown for Angle. TWO POINTS. What a heel! Front face lock from Angle, as he time wastes. AJ gets up with thirty seconds left, then suplexes Angle into the referee. ZOMG CLOTHESLINE FROM KURT. NO SPIRIT OF COMPETITION. The lights go out. ZOMG STING! Angle has the bat. Lights go back out. Jarrett’s music plays. AJ is behind AJ with the guitar. BAM. Angle is bleeding, and AJ gets the three ftw.
Winner (and new Gold Medal Champion): AJ Styles
Rating: I have no fucking clue
Comments: a) The time limit officially ran out, referee or not.
b) Wouldn’t the referee have seen Angle bleeding, therefore noticing foul play
AJ stands up looking shocked, while the commentators ask if it could be HIM. Of course it is fucking Jarrett, didn’t you hear the music?
Overall Thoughts: Too many matches on this show. Promos were alright, but they should have less matches for more time. Creed vs Bashir isn’t being followed up after Hard Justice which is disappointing. This whole Jarrett vs Sting thing is pretty cool though IMO, it would just be better if the commentators didn’t oversell it.
Alright, thanks for reading and remember to check out SP’s Raw review, TJ’s ECW review, and Kaedon’s SmackDown! review, as well as the 44th No Smark Zone.
That’s all for me, thanks for reading, and leave commetns and advice plz.
It's worse then when Styles took on Steiner in a takedown contest. -_-