Welcome to the long awaited 44th edition of the No Smark Zone. Yeah, I know I haven’t been doing these on a regular basis, but I don’t always have a lot of cannon fodder to go on, and, well sometimes I just don’t plain feel like doing it. But this time around, I am just going to do some little rants on a lot of different topics that are going on in wrestling. You can call it a grab bag, a mixed pot, or whatever, but that’s what it is. Topics covered are going to be HBKs career ending injury, Punk’s World Title reign, and whatever else is sticking in my craw (that’s an old person term). The first thing I’m going to talk about, however, is one of my favorite superstars and the predicament he is finding himself in, Kane.
Kane/Is He Dead?
Now, I remember when I first saw Kane. I was watching the Hell In A Cell just like a lot of others when this monster just came in and laid waste to the most dominant force to ever come to the WWE in a way that no one really had before. Over the months the storyline played out and we found out a couple of things. One; the WWE can be good on expanding on these stories that have been told a million times before, ie the feuding brothers story; and two, Kane was much better than people initially gave him credit for. Quick, agile, and still the second most imposing figure in the WWE. How can you beat that!? And the genius of it all was that it was something that had, as I said before, been seen about a billion times already. So this saga has continued over almost a decade now. The Kane character has evolved through many things, a destructive force, an angry brother, a pissed off son/sidekick to Stone Cold, a multi-time tag team champion face with god knows how many partners, a movie psycho (which was a great movie) and then, once again, coming around to being a psycho who is pissed off at his brother, once again.
That brings us to Kane now. I don’t know what he is anymore. He’s clearly a tweener after having beaten the fuck out of the Raw announce team but also being booked to face bitches like Matt Striker. All the while, we are seeing this guy stalk around with a bag that probably has his mask in it. I mean really, what else is he going to carry around? Maybe it’s the record of the number of matches he has won. But the idea of the mask coming back delighted so many people, and I have no idea why. The biggest thing they say is that it will “bring him back to being kick ass and a monster.†Are you telling me a guy who electroded a guys nutsack, set people on fire, buried his own brother alive, and carried a meat hook on a chain around with him isnt a bad ass? When Kane was dominant back in the day it had about JACK SHIT to do with the mask. Ok? It was how he was booked. He was booked to look strong, and he’s booked to look JUST AS strong now, but people so fucking cynical, it sickens me. They do more shit to protect his credibility than anyone else in his position. I cant count the number of times he has lost by count out, DQ, or run in as opposed to so many others who are used as hands to get others over. It’s crap, THE MASK MEANS NOTHING.
But if it were to come back, eh. I was initially opposed to it 100% when I heard about this. As you all know, I am very much in favor of the storytelling aspect of wrestling. Selling, storytelling, and….FACIAL FEATURES, of which Kane, arguably, has the best in the business. It’s debateable, for sure, but still you have to admit, as far as expressing emotion, he is one of the best. But, at this point in his career, its really not too much of an issue because he is SO GOOD, and we all know this, he is so good, in ring, he can get away without showing facial expressions. He knows how to show with his body and limbs a la Rey Mysterio and the like.
So to sum up, masks, usually Kaedon no like, but in this case, me make exception.
**EDIT** So it’s the day after Raw and wow, I just had to mention Rey Mysterio didn’t I?! I like it, despite what some others >_> might say. I like it for 2 reasons, 1, no one saw it coming, 2, its wide open. Is it going to lead to a feud? A faction? A tag team!? But I will say, this kind of did come out of nowhere, which is why I think it is taking some people back. But I guess, for now, we will have to see. I, personally, think its leading to a feud and it will be great for one reason, it doesn’t matter who wins. If Kane ends up winning in the feud, great, the big man gets a win in a feud. And if Rey Rey wins, motherfucker he is on his way back to the top. He could start feuding with Orton, Jericho, and a freshly turned Cena.
CM Punk and the Title
Now, let me be the first to say, I liked CM Punk from the second I saw him. The first time I saw him, I never even knew who he was OTHER THAN I had heard his name thrown around the net. The date was May 5th, 2005 (I believe). It was a brisk Wisconsin spring evening and after Tony Chimmel came out, the first person I saw walk through that curtain was Mr. CM Punk. Go back in time with me, if you will. Velocity was still on the air. Orlando Jordan was still US Champion, Mark Jindrack wasn’t far away from becoming “The Reflection Of Perfectionâ€, and Kurt Angle wanted to have “that bestiality sex†with Booker T’s wife Sharmell. CM Punk took on perennial WWE jobber, Scotty 2 Hotty in a match that showed how much potential Punk had. I don’t know what it was, but I was immediately able to hate Punk. Perhaps it started out when they announced him from being out of Chicago and that Milwaukeeans hate them fucking flatlanders from Illinois. What it more than likely was, was his ability to draw heat. And he can do so because he has some damn good skills. Soulpower posted that video of CM Punk doing the invisible microphone thing, fucking hilarious and an ingenious idea!
Little did I know that this guy who was jobbing to the lowest of the low in the WWE at the time would hold the title held by Harley Race, Ric Flair, Sting, and so many other greats. Now the criticism about Punk is that he is being mishandled as WHC. I think those who are saying this >_> are being very defensive of “their boy†getting the title. You have to look at the reality of the situation. CM Punk is a barely 6ft 200lb man in a big mans business. Historically, the big man wins a lot in wrestling because if it were a shoot, most times a guy who is bigger probably would win. If I told you I saw a guy who is barely 6ft tall and 200lbs get the shit kicked out of him by a guy who is 6ft 6in tall and easily a deuce and a half if not a trais, what would you say? “Yeah no shitâ€. But if I tell you the smaller guy beat the piss out of the bigger guy you’re more apt to get “ahh you’re full of itâ€. And its true. No matter WHAT anyone tells you. In a fight, SIZE MATTERS. So its more believable that a smaller man will get beat, beat down, punked out, or whatever, by a bigger man. So when Punk doesn’t go out and beat Batista straight up, why the hell are you surprised?
I mean outside of the size factor that we just talked about, Batista is, without question, one of the biggest stars of the fed. To have an up and comer, you know that’s what he is, despite you Punk fans not wanting to admit it, beat one of the top guys straight up WITH NO BUILD, is fucking dumb. I know that kind of flies in the face of one of my contentions that single events in wrestling arent that memorable. However, this is one of the exceptions, in my opinion. You can not give the fans a first ever confrontation between two guys and have a close ended finish. If you make it competitive enough, and make it look like Batista had this kid handled but then the kid figures him out because he’s watched more tape or something. But really, there was no chance Batista was gonna win the title, therefore its either a clean win for Punker or a schmozzy win for either. So what do you do? Do you give away a perfectly good ending to a feud or a TBC stop to a feud “you beat me last time but…) or do you have someone come in and “ruin†it? This is another thing smarks don’t get. LONG TERM BOOKING. You don’t give the fans everything for every match. You cant go out, go 100 miles an hour, give the fans everything the want to see when they want to see it. Its called saving it for later. Guys do it (and should do it more) on a card. The “popcorn match†guys can a lot of the times, outwork the main eventers. But they don’t shit all over the draws by making sure they have no chance to follow. It has to be a slow process. I know in todays gimmie now culture that’s a lost concept, but you need to build slowly. That’s why there are so many schmoz endings, because you can use a clean win/loss better down the road.
John Cena’s Heel Turn
Now, I may just be being a “mark†here, but I am almost 100% sure that at the WWEs midyear extravaganza, John Cena will do something he hasn’t done, EVER, and he will turn heel on Dave Batista. And I am pretty sure that this is the best place to do it. More than Cena/Lashley and more than Cena/Michaels, this is a pivotal point in the career of John Cena. For only the second time in his career, he is headlining a major PPV against someone who is on his level in every way. HBK, Jericho, HHH, yeah those guys are on his level in terms of overness, popularity, and all that. BUT, and correct me if I’m wrong but the only time Cena fought someone who came up around the same time he did was last year, at Summerslam, when he faced Randy Orton. Randy and he are from the same “camp†in the WWE. They are the future of the company, and it was the first REAL test of “can these kids do it†without HHH, HBK, Taker, and others propping them up. Now last time, as I said, he was facing Orton, a megaheel. And like his workrate or not, the guy has heat. So Cena heeling then, might not have been as impactful. But the argument can be made that since Orton beat the piss out of Cena’s dad, it might have given him some good heat.
But if (when) John Cena turns on Batista, I think it will be even better than that. There are people out there who don’t like him already. Im not gonna lie and say he doesn’t get boo’d but I think the WWE has done a great job in handling it. What a lot of people don’t get is that there is a difference between listening to the fans and letting them dictate what you do. This whole thing of making the fans wait for Cena to turn just reeks of old school booking. Back in the day when you wanted to build something, you built it, built it, and made the fans want it, and then when they were BEGGING FOR IT, you made them wait a bit longer. Throwing Cena up against a face who is on his level in pretty much every way is truly dividing the fans. Even some of the girls who like him are like “I dunno, I like Batista too†and some of the guys who didn’t like him see him growing a pair and slapping the Animal in his face go “oooh I like thatâ€. With all of this tweenering, if the WWE DIDN’T turn someone now, it would be a huge wasted opportunity and I am very confident this person WILL be John Cena. I haven’t seen Cena act this much like a heel in….well ever. That being said, part of me kind of hopes I’m wrong because then I will have been “gottenâ€. I know that makes me a “dumb mark†but whatever. I am fairly confident that next week on Raw, we will see a freshly heeled John Cena.
Well that’s it for the No Smark Zone. I am going to try my hardest to make this more regular as soon as I get my computer reformatted. Please don’t forget to read Soulpowers Raw Review and my Smackdown Review. Until next time! (WAYYY SOONER than later)
Kane/Is He Dead?
Now, I remember when I first saw Kane. I was watching the Hell In A Cell just like a lot of others when this monster just came in and laid waste to the most dominant force to ever come to the WWE in a way that no one really had before. Over the months the storyline played out and we found out a couple of things. One; the WWE can be good on expanding on these stories that have been told a million times before, ie the feuding brothers story; and two, Kane was much better than people initially gave him credit for. Quick, agile, and still the second most imposing figure in the WWE. How can you beat that!? And the genius of it all was that it was something that had, as I said before, been seen about a billion times already. So this saga has continued over almost a decade now. The Kane character has evolved through many things, a destructive force, an angry brother, a pissed off son/sidekick to Stone Cold, a multi-time tag team champion face with god knows how many partners, a movie psycho (which was a great movie) and then, once again, coming around to being a psycho who is pissed off at his brother, once again.
That brings us to Kane now. I don’t know what he is anymore. He’s clearly a tweener after having beaten the fuck out of the Raw announce team but also being booked to face bitches like Matt Striker. All the while, we are seeing this guy stalk around with a bag that probably has his mask in it. I mean really, what else is he going to carry around? Maybe it’s the record of the number of matches he has won. But the idea of the mask coming back delighted so many people, and I have no idea why. The biggest thing they say is that it will “bring him back to being kick ass and a monster.†Are you telling me a guy who electroded a guys nutsack, set people on fire, buried his own brother alive, and carried a meat hook on a chain around with him isnt a bad ass? When Kane was dominant back in the day it had about JACK SHIT to do with the mask. Ok? It was how he was booked. He was booked to look strong, and he’s booked to look JUST AS strong now, but people so fucking cynical, it sickens me. They do more shit to protect his credibility than anyone else in his position. I cant count the number of times he has lost by count out, DQ, or run in as opposed to so many others who are used as hands to get others over. It’s crap, THE MASK MEANS NOTHING.
But if it were to come back, eh. I was initially opposed to it 100% when I heard about this. As you all know, I am very much in favor of the storytelling aspect of wrestling. Selling, storytelling, and….FACIAL FEATURES, of which Kane, arguably, has the best in the business. It’s debateable, for sure, but still you have to admit, as far as expressing emotion, he is one of the best. But, at this point in his career, its really not too much of an issue because he is SO GOOD, and we all know this, he is so good, in ring, he can get away without showing facial expressions. He knows how to show with his body and limbs a la Rey Mysterio and the like.
So to sum up, masks, usually Kaedon no like, but in this case, me make exception.
**EDIT** So it’s the day after Raw and wow, I just had to mention Rey Mysterio didn’t I?! I like it, despite what some others >_> might say. I like it for 2 reasons, 1, no one saw it coming, 2, its wide open. Is it going to lead to a feud? A faction? A tag team!? But I will say, this kind of did come out of nowhere, which is why I think it is taking some people back. But I guess, for now, we will have to see. I, personally, think its leading to a feud and it will be great for one reason, it doesn’t matter who wins. If Kane ends up winning in the feud, great, the big man gets a win in a feud. And if Rey Rey wins, motherfucker he is on his way back to the top. He could start feuding with Orton, Jericho, and a freshly turned Cena.
CM Punk and the Title
Now, let me be the first to say, I liked CM Punk from the second I saw him. The first time I saw him, I never even knew who he was OTHER THAN I had heard his name thrown around the net. The date was May 5th, 2005 (I believe). It was a brisk Wisconsin spring evening and after Tony Chimmel came out, the first person I saw walk through that curtain was Mr. CM Punk. Go back in time with me, if you will. Velocity was still on the air. Orlando Jordan was still US Champion, Mark Jindrack wasn’t far away from becoming “The Reflection Of Perfectionâ€, and Kurt Angle wanted to have “that bestiality sex†with Booker T’s wife Sharmell. CM Punk took on perennial WWE jobber, Scotty 2 Hotty in a match that showed how much potential Punk had. I don’t know what it was, but I was immediately able to hate Punk. Perhaps it started out when they announced him from being out of Chicago and that Milwaukeeans hate them fucking flatlanders from Illinois. What it more than likely was, was his ability to draw heat. And he can do so because he has some damn good skills. Soulpower posted that video of CM Punk doing the invisible microphone thing, fucking hilarious and an ingenious idea!
Little did I know that this guy who was jobbing to the lowest of the low in the WWE at the time would hold the title held by Harley Race, Ric Flair, Sting, and so many other greats. Now the criticism about Punk is that he is being mishandled as WHC. I think those who are saying this >_> are being very defensive of “their boy†getting the title. You have to look at the reality of the situation. CM Punk is a barely 6ft 200lb man in a big mans business. Historically, the big man wins a lot in wrestling because if it were a shoot, most times a guy who is bigger probably would win. If I told you I saw a guy who is barely 6ft tall and 200lbs get the shit kicked out of him by a guy who is 6ft 6in tall and easily a deuce and a half if not a trais, what would you say? “Yeah no shitâ€. But if I tell you the smaller guy beat the piss out of the bigger guy you’re more apt to get “ahh you’re full of itâ€. And its true. No matter WHAT anyone tells you. In a fight, SIZE MATTERS. So its more believable that a smaller man will get beat, beat down, punked out, or whatever, by a bigger man. So when Punk doesn’t go out and beat Batista straight up, why the hell are you surprised?
I mean outside of the size factor that we just talked about, Batista is, without question, one of the biggest stars of the fed. To have an up and comer, you know that’s what he is, despite you Punk fans not wanting to admit it, beat one of the top guys straight up WITH NO BUILD, is fucking dumb. I know that kind of flies in the face of one of my contentions that single events in wrestling arent that memorable. However, this is one of the exceptions, in my opinion. You can not give the fans a first ever confrontation between two guys and have a close ended finish. If you make it competitive enough, and make it look like Batista had this kid handled but then the kid figures him out because he’s watched more tape or something. But really, there was no chance Batista was gonna win the title, therefore its either a clean win for Punker or a schmozzy win for either. So what do you do? Do you give away a perfectly good ending to a feud or a TBC stop to a feud “you beat me last time but…) or do you have someone come in and “ruin†it? This is another thing smarks don’t get. LONG TERM BOOKING. You don’t give the fans everything for every match. You cant go out, go 100 miles an hour, give the fans everything the want to see when they want to see it. Its called saving it for later. Guys do it (and should do it more) on a card. The “popcorn match†guys can a lot of the times, outwork the main eventers. But they don’t shit all over the draws by making sure they have no chance to follow. It has to be a slow process. I know in todays gimmie now culture that’s a lost concept, but you need to build slowly. That’s why there are so many schmoz endings, because you can use a clean win/loss better down the road.
John Cena’s Heel Turn
Now, I may just be being a “mark†here, but I am almost 100% sure that at the WWEs midyear extravaganza, John Cena will do something he hasn’t done, EVER, and he will turn heel on Dave Batista. And I am pretty sure that this is the best place to do it. More than Cena/Lashley and more than Cena/Michaels, this is a pivotal point in the career of John Cena. For only the second time in his career, he is headlining a major PPV against someone who is on his level in every way. HBK, Jericho, HHH, yeah those guys are on his level in terms of overness, popularity, and all that. BUT, and correct me if I’m wrong but the only time Cena fought someone who came up around the same time he did was last year, at Summerslam, when he faced Randy Orton. Randy and he are from the same “camp†in the WWE. They are the future of the company, and it was the first REAL test of “can these kids do it†without HHH, HBK, Taker, and others propping them up. Now last time, as I said, he was facing Orton, a megaheel. And like his workrate or not, the guy has heat. So Cena heeling then, might not have been as impactful. But the argument can be made that since Orton beat the piss out of Cena’s dad, it might have given him some good heat.
But if (when) John Cena turns on Batista, I think it will be even better than that. There are people out there who don’t like him already. Im not gonna lie and say he doesn’t get boo’d but I think the WWE has done a great job in handling it. What a lot of people don’t get is that there is a difference between listening to the fans and letting them dictate what you do. This whole thing of making the fans wait for Cena to turn just reeks of old school booking. Back in the day when you wanted to build something, you built it, built it, and made the fans want it, and then when they were BEGGING FOR IT, you made them wait a bit longer. Throwing Cena up against a face who is on his level in pretty much every way is truly dividing the fans. Even some of the girls who like him are like “I dunno, I like Batista too†and some of the guys who didn’t like him see him growing a pair and slapping the Animal in his face go “oooh I like thatâ€. With all of this tweenering, if the WWE DIDN’T turn someone now, it would be a huge wasted opportunity and I am very confident this person WILL be John Cena. I haven’t seen Cena act this much like a heel in….well ever. That being said, part of me kind of hopes I’m wrong because then I will have been “gottenâ€. I know that makes me a “dumb mark†but whatever. I am fairly confident that next week on Raw, we will see a freshly heeled John Cena.
Well that’s it for the No Smark Zone. I am going to try my hardest to make this more regular as soon as I get my computer reformatted. Please don’t forget to read Soulpowers Raw Review and my Smackdown Review. Until next time! (WAYYY SOONER than later)
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