We start off Smackdown with a recap of the PHENOMINAL promo between Edge and Foley from last week. If you don’t think that was awesome, I don’t know what more you want in a promo
Mick is out selling his injuries this week so The Tazz is doing color.
6 Diva Olympic Tag Team Match Maryse (Tennis), Vicotria (Gymnist), and Nattie vs. Michelle (Volleyball), Cherry (Boxer), and Maria (Skier)
Gimmicks galore in this one. And that’s what the DIVAS should be used for, FUN. Nattie and Michelle start and Michelle dominates. Nattie gets an advantage but Michelle tags in Maria. She locks in a side headlock in Nattie who hits a stiff kick to the sternum of Maria. Cherry comes in and hits a hammerlock DDT, Vicotria hits HER with the Widows Peak, Michelle gets Victoria out, Maryse gets Michelle out, Maria hits a bulldog, and Nattie comes in and locks Maria in the Sharpshooter for the win.
Winners: Nattie Neidhart, Victoria, and Maryse
Match Rating: **
Comments: That was a nicely paced match. Lots of action, and was pretty fun.
In the back, HnR Edgehead find Bam Neeley >_> KOd in the back. And on him, a black rose. Uh oh!
HnR Edgehad vs. Yang/Moore
Headlock from Hawkins into a to a trip by Jimmy. Shannon Moore tags in with a great double team maneuver, I believe its called a slingshot plancha. Quick tag back to Yang who comes in and hits a “misdirection†dropkick with Moore. Jimmy throws Hawkins into the corner and tries to follow up but misses and the heels take over. Ryder gets the tag in and hits a nice neck breaker for 2. Edge Guy 2 slaps on a neck vice but Yang fights out. He hits Sunset flip but Ryder makes blind tag and Hawkins comes in and levels Yang from behind. Ryder tags back in but gives up control and Moore gets the surprise tag. He gets in a nice array of offense but a double team and some misdirection from HnR followed by a double Edgecution and we have our winners.
Winners: HnR Edgehead
Rating: **3/4
Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Collar and elbow tie up and Jeff takes and early lead but Shelton gounds him with a side headlock. Jeff fights back into it with an hiptoss into an arm bar. Jeff is WRESTLING the all American. Benji fights out and wrestles BACK. So far its neck and neck. And speaking of necks, Shelton locks in a rear chin lock that almost makes Hardy’s eyes bulge out. Jeff gets back into it though and hits a slingshot cross body to the outside. Back in the ring, Jeff goes for the Swanton but gets nothing but canvas. COMMERICAL.
Back and Shelton has a NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTY rear chin lock on. I mean NASTY. Benji grounds and pounds with rights and headbutts in the corner but Jeff fights back and we get into a brawl. Hardy gets enough separation and goes for the Whisper in the Wind but its stopped. Shelton then starts working over the knee of Jeff Hardy. Just a vicious, ANDERSON LIKE, methodical offense. Shelton gives Jeffs leg a DDT, yes THAT’S WHAT HE DID and then locks in a spinning toe hold of sorts into a one legged crab. Jeff gets up and tries to Rocky it but one good kick to the knee, and that stops that! Single legged crab again but Jeff gets to the ropes and out of the ring. A dive from the apron and Jeff kicks him square in the jaw. Back in the ring and Jeff fires up. LARIAT! LARIAT! LARIAT! KO-JIMA! Sorry, I channeled Punk there. Lariat by Jeff into a Whisper in the wind for a two. Jawjacker by Jeff. He goes for the corner dropkick but its countered by Benji into a British Bulldog type Powerslam but only for a 2. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and then the Swanton! But before the cover WHAM drive by kick by MVP!
Winner: Jeff Hardy (By DQ)
Match Rating: ***1/2
Comments: Just a great match. Even with the ending, it was a GREAT GREAT MATCH!
Hawkins cant find Ryder! UH OH!!
Indian Broken Glass Arm Wrestling Contest: HHH vs. The Great Khali
Why does it have to be INDIAN!? Why cant it be Pakistani!? Or Afghani!? HHH comes out looking less than impressive IMO. His arms look smaller. Then when you compare him to THE GREAT KHALI, he looks even smaller. Khali wishes to speak, and really, no one would tell him NO. I think he wants to be WWE Champion. HHH makes a great joke at Khali’s expense. “That’s a great point†:rofl: and then he calls Khali’s handler “Funionâ€. Hahaha. HHH tells Runjin to get a lamp, rub it to get Khali back in it, and cork it. And then HHH lays out his game plan. TRADE SECRETS TRIPS! He tells Onion to translate and we get the contest going. HHH does the heel warm up thing to mess with Khali. H tries to jump start it but Khali easily overpowers him the other way, but HHH throws all his arm into it and we get it going the other way! Just before he loses, Khali hits a headbutt and gets DQ. Khali goes for the bomb but gets a poke in the eye. HHH goes for the Pedigree but cant hook Khali and then FINALLY, Trips goes down to the vice grip.
Holy Hawkins sighting batman! HE’s got a rose too!!
Vladimir Kozlov comes out. My god they are going to let him talk! He said he wants some competition! Cue the farmboys!
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jesse
Everyone wanted Festus to mix it up with Kozy but it was Jesse. Squash match, nuff said.
Winner: Vlad The Impailer
Match Rating: *
The Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy
Holy shit it’s a minority on WWE who isn’t black! Anyway, I don’t think this is a good gimmick. I didn’t really pay attention to the promo he cut, “Im smarter than you†or something for the sort. The match itself was also very blasé. It was mostly The with control the whole time. Super Crazy found a few moves but The hit Sliced bread ftw.
Winner: The
Match Rating: *3/4
The Protector Returns
Edge, Chavo, and Vickie come out. Edge calls out the Undertaker, even getting on his knees begging Taker to strike him with lightning (which I think MS would get a chuckle out of). He basically calls UT a chickenshit. Chavo and he stand there with chairs waiting for Taker to come when WHAM Edge pancakes Chavo as hard as he can with his chair. Edge then delivers a one man con-chair-to. Now, he turns to Vickie. Edge basically fucking snaps. He gets in Vickies face and tells her that she made a mistake putting him in Hell In A Cell with The Undertaker. Edge then tells her that the Deadman isn’t the one she should be afraid of, its him. Edge ends the night by throwing a cripple out of her wheel chair. It’s those little things that make a great promo great!
Final thoughts: Definitely better than last week. Once again we end on a high note, a great promo. And finally, and most importantly, we had what was almost a **** match. Hardy and Benji were fucking great. I have to ask, where are Carlito, The Big Show, and the others who got drafted to SD? Anyway, It was a damn good show. Don’t forget to read Soulpower’s, moar like PoleSowers (em I Ryte) Raw review and my new No Smark Zone that will be up next week! See ya next time!
Mick is out selling his injuries this week so The Tazz is doing color.
6 Diva Olympic Tag Team Match Maryse (Tennis), Vicotria (Gymnist), and Nattie vs. Michelle (Volleyball), Cherry (Boxer), and Maria (Skier)
Gimmicks galore in this one. And that’s what the DIVAS should be used for, FUN. Nattie and Michelle start and Michelle dominates. Nattie gets an advantage but Michelle tags in Maria. She locks in a side headlock in Nattie who hits a stiff kick to the sternum of Maria. Cherry comes in and hits a hammerlock DDT, Vicotria hits HER with the Widows Peak, Michelle gets Victoria out, Maryse gets Michelle out, Maria hits a bulldog, and Nattie comes in and locks Maria in the Sharpshooter for the win.
Winners: Nattie Neidhart, Victoria, and Maryse
Match Rating: **
Comments: That was a nicely paced match. Lots of action, and was pretty fun.
In the back, HnR Edgehead find Bam Neeley >_> KOd in the back. And on him, a black rose. Uh oh!
HnR Edgehad vs. Yang/Moore
Headlock from Hawkins into a to a trip by Jimmy. Shannon Moore tags in with a great double team maneuver, I believe its called a slingshot plancha. Quick tag back to Yang who comes in and hits a “misdirection†dropkick with Moore. Jimmy throws Hawkins into the corner and tries to follow up but misses and the heels take over. Ryder gets the tag in and hits a nice neck breaker for 2. Edge Guy 2 slaps on a neck vice but Yang fights out. He hits Sunset flip but Ryder makes blind tag and Hawkins comes in and levels Yang from behind. Ryder tags back in but gives up control and Moore gets the surprise tag. He gets in a nice array of offense but a double team and some misdirection from HnR followed by a double Edgecution and we have our winners.
Winners: HnR Edgehead
Rating: **3/4
Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Collar and elbow tie up and Jeff takes and early lead but Shelton gounds him with a side headlock. Jeff fights back into it with an hiptoss into an arm bar. Jeff is WRESTLING the all American. Benji fights out and wrestles BACK. So far its neck and neck. And speaking of necks, Shelton locks in a rear chin lock that almost makes Hardy’s eyes bulge out. Jeff gets back into it though and hits a slingshot cross body to the outside. Back in the ring, Jeff goes for the Swanton but gets nothing but canvas. COMMERICAL.
Back and Shelton has a NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTY rear chin lock on. I mean NASTY. Benji grounds and pounds with rights and headbutts in the corner but Jeff fights back and we get into a brawl. Hardy gets enough separation and goes for the Whisper in the Wind but its stopped. Shelton then starts working over the knee of Jeff Hardy. Just a vicious, ANDERSON LIKE, methodical offense. Shelton gives Jeffs leg a DDT, yes THAT’S WHAT HE DID and then locks in a spinning toe hold of sorts into a one legged crab. Jeff gets up and tries to Rocky it but one good kick to the knee, and that stops that! Single legged crab again but Jeff gets to the ropes and out of the ring. A dive from the apron and Jeff kicks him square in the jaw. Back in the ring and Jeff fires up. LARIAT! LARIAT! LARIAT! KO-JIMA! Sorry, I channeled Punk there. Lariat by Jeff into a Whisper in the wind for a two. Jawjacker by Jeff. He goes for the corner dropkick but its countered by Benji into a British Bulldog type Powerslam but only for a 2. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and then the Swanton! But before the cover WHAM drive by kick by MVP!
Winner: Jeff Hardy (By DQ)
Match Rating: ***1/2
Comments: Just a great match. Even with the ending, it was a GREAT GREAT MATCH!
Hawkins cant find Ryder! UH OH!!
Indian Broken Glass Arm Wrestling Contest: HHH vs. The Great Khali
Why does it have to be INDIAN!? Why cant it be Pakistani!? Or Afghani!? HHH comes out looking less than impressive IMO. His arms look smaller. Then when you compare him to THE GREAT KHALI, he looks even smaller. Khali wishes to speak, and really, no one would tell him NO. I think he wants to be WWE Champion. HHH makes a great joke at Khali’s expense. “That’s a great point†:rofl: and then he calls Khali’s handler “Funionâ€. Hahaha. HHH tells Runjin to get a lamp, rub it to get Khali back in it, and cork it. And then HHH lays out his game plan. TRADE SECRETS TRIPS! He tells Onion to translate and we get the contest going. HHH does the heel warm up thing to mess with Khali. H tries to jump start it but Khali easily overpowers him the other way, but HHH throws all his arm into it and we get it going the other way! Just before he loses, Khali hits a headbutt and gets DQ. Khali goes for the bomb but gets a poke in the eye. HHH goes for the Pedigree but cant hook Khali and then FINALLY, Trips goes down to the vice grip.
Holy Hawkins sighting batman! HE’s got a rose too!!
Vladimir Kozlov comes out. My god they are going to let him talk! He said he wants some competition! Cue the farmboys!
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jesse
Everyone wanted Festus to mix it up with Kozy but it was Jesse. Squash match, nuff said.
Winner: Vlad The Impailer
Match Rating: *
The Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy
Holy shit it’s a minority on WWE who isn’t black! Anyway, I don’t think this is a good gimmick. I didn’t really pay attention to the promo he cut, “Im smarter than you†or something for the sort. The match itself was also very blasé. It was mostly The with control the whole time. Super Crazy found a few moves but The hit Sliced bread ftw.
Winner: The
Match Rating: *3/4
The Protector Returns
Edge, Chavo, and Vickie come out. Edge calls out the Undertaker, even getting on his knees begging Taker to strike him with lightning (which I think MS would get a chuckle out of). He basically calls UT a chickenshit. Chavo and he stand there with chairs waiting for Taker to come when WHAM Edge pancakes Chavo as hard as he can with his chair. Edge then delivers a one man con-chair-to. Now, he turns to Vickie. Edge basically fucking snaps. He gets in Vickies face and tells her that she made a mistake putting him in Hell In A Cell with The Undertaker. Edge then tells her that the Deadman isn’t the one she should be afraid of, its him. Edge ends the night by throwing a cripple out of her wheel chair. It’s those little things that make a great promo great!
Final thoughts: Definitely better than last week. Once again we end on a high note, a great promo. And finally, and most importantly, we had what was almost a **** match. Hardy and Benji were fucking great. I have to ask, where are Carlito, The Big Show, and the others who got drafted to SD? Anyway, It was a damn good show. Don’t forget to read Soulpower’s, moar like PoleSowers (em I Ryte) Raw review and my new No Smark Zone that will be up next week! See ya next time!
