Soulpower
Guest
Welcome, to this week's RAW review. On tap for tonight, the aftermatch of Sunday's One Night Stand PPV, and more info on Vince's wacky giveaway.
We are live from Bakersfield, California.
HHH comes out and says that Orton is watching the show from a hospital bed, and that the Age of Orton is broken. HHH boasts about being the champ and says that he doesn't care who his next challenger is. John Cena comes out to challenge HHH, but he's interrupted by Jeff Hardy. Jeff comes out and says that he wants a title shot, so he challenges Cena to a match to determine the Number 1 Contender for the WWE title.
Vince McMahon interrupts and instead of booking John Cena vs Jeff Hardy, he books Jeff Hardy vs John Cena. Either that was intentional, or Vince has simply lost his mind. Also tonight, JBL vs Chris Jericho and get this... THE IC TITLE WILL BE DEFENDED!!
Commercial!
We are back and we get footage of Paul Burchill attacking Kennedy last week.
Mr.Kennedy vs Paul Burchill... Is NOT happening this week. Paul has to help his sister get ready for her match (By having sex with her) but he has found a replacement. Probably Umaga or some shit like that.
Mr.Kennedy vs Umaga (I F'n called it!)
Umaga's ribs are taped up from his match vs Jeff at ONS. Umaga takes over with a Drop (See, he's Samoan, so there's no need to call it a Samoan Drop. Its basic Thugonomics, yo!). Kennedy comes back and goes after Umaga's injured ribs, but Umaga tosses him out of the ring. Umaga tries to Splash Kennedy on a table, but Kennedy moves out of the way and wins via Countout.
Winner:Mr.Kennedy
Post-Match, Burchill hits Kennedy with a Running Neckbreaker and Oh my God, he actually gets booed.
Commercial!!
Vince pimps the money giveaway, but I pay little attention to it.. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A SHOT AT WINNING. Vince goes on a tirade against people that dislike wrestling and he actually admits that he's doing this because the ratings are going down. He could probably use that million bucks to hire a better team of "writers" which could help him boost the ratings. Oh wait, that would actually make sense.
COMMERCIAL!!
Santino Marella and Carlito vs Cody "The CAW" Rhodes and Hardcore "I still suck" Holly (Non-Title Match)
Cody gets on the mic and says that we will have a special timekeeper for this match, Rowdy Roddy Piper. Cody hits a Crossbody early, but Santino hits some sort of Judo Throw. Carlito is tagged in and hits a Spinebuster on Cody. Santino back in and he misses the Salute Headbutt from the Second Rope. Holly is tagged in and goes for the Alabama Slam, but Carlito boots him which allows Santino to get the pin.
Winners:Carlito and Santino
Backstage, Carlito and Santino celebrate. Todd interviews Santino, he talks about Cousin Sal, and I still don't care about any of this... at all.
Back backstage, Holly yells at Cody for not telling him about Piper showing up. Ted Diabetes Jr. comes in and tells Cody that in 3 weeks, he will reveal his tag team partner (I still say its going to be Cody)
Back back backstage. Jericho tells JR that he intends to defend the IC title a little bit more, starting tonight!
COMMERCIAL!!!
Chris Jericho vs JBL (Intercontinental Title Match)
JBL takes over early with his usual flurry of punches. He hits a Swinging Neckbreaker and follows up with three Elbow Drops. JBL applies a Full Nelson, but Jericho manages to escape and eventually hits a Tornado DDT. Jericho goes up top again, but JBL catches him and hits The Last Call (Fallaway Slam). Jericho ducks the Clothesline from Hell and hits a Dropkick that sends JBL to the apron. Jericho hits the Springboard Dropkick and follows JBL to the outside. Big Boot by JBL who grabs a chair and gets DQ'ed.
Winner:Chris Jericho
Jericho trips JBL after the match, which prompts him to land throat first into the chair. Jericho grabs the chair and much like last week, thinks about bashing JBL's head in, but decides not to and walks away.
COMMERCIAL!!
Katie Lea and Beth Phoenix (Team Manjaw) vs Mickie James and Melina
Katie goes after Mickie early, but James hits the Hurrancanrana from the corner. Mickie goes for a tag, but Melina only wants her some of Beth (And so do I >_>). Beth gets tagged in and now Melina demands to be tagged. Melina goes right after Beth and both of them end up on the outside where Melina is knocked down by a Clothesline from Beth. Back in the ring, Katie is now the legal woman and she continues to beatdown Melina. Melina makes the hot tag to Mickie, who hits a Neckbreaker on Katie followed by a Thesz Press from the second rope. Mickie goes for the DDT, but Beth takes her head off with a Clothesline which gives Katie a chance to pin Mickie.
Winners:Team Manjaw (Beth and Katie)
COMMERCIAL!!!
Lance Cade vs Trevor Murdoch
Finally, we get the long-awaited grudge match between these two. Good brawl to start us off as both men exchange forearm shots. Both men are outside and Trevor misses a forearm shot as he hits the ring post. Cade hits a Backdrop then knees Murdoch's head right into the ring post. Back inside, Cade applies an Ortonlock, but Murdoch gets out of it and hits a Jawbreaker. Murdoch goes up top, but Cade punches him out of the air, hits th Sit-Out Spine Buster, and this one is over!
Winner:Lance Cade
We get clips from the TLC match at One Night Stand before heading to another commercial.
We are back and John Cena is hitting on Mickie James. Yes, what better way to get people to cheer for Cena than by hooking him up with a hot chick? Watch how this backfires eventually and only gets Cena more boos.
Also, HHH sits down to watch the Cena-Jeff match.
Jeff Hardy vs John Cena (Number 1 contender's match)
Some dude got in the ring just as the match was starting. Gotta love the security. Both Jeff and Cena just laugh it off. You know what, fuck this... Cena wins and we'll get Cena vs HHH at Night of Champions. 2006 called, and they're sick and tired of this feud. For what its worth, the Cena-Jeff Hardy match was pretty good and easily the best match of this episode of RAW.
Post-Match, HHH comes out to the ramp where he meets up with John Cena. We have ourselves a staredown and the that ends the show.
Overall Thoughts
ear, Vince... Giving away money won't magically make the show better. Even if gives you a small increase in the ratings in the short-term, it'll do nothing in the long run once all the money is given away, and the fans realize that the product is still underwhelming.
Only one match got any time, and that was the ME. The Jericho is he/isn't he turning is the only realy highlight on RAW at the moment. The rest are just filler feuds (Kennedy/Burchill) or shit we've seen in the past (Trips/Cena). I will give props to WWE for one thing... The Women's division has been good these past couple of weeks. Unfortunately, much like in TNA, they're only allowed to book the Women's division correctly and nothing else. Thumbs down for this week's RAW, you did not miss a damn thing if you didn't watch the show. The Draft can't get here quick enough.
We are live from Bakersfield, California.
HHH comes out and says that Orton is watching the show from a hospital bed, and that the Age of Orton is broken. HHH boasts about being the champ and says that he doesn't care who his next challenger is. John Cena comes out to challenge HHH, but he's interrupted by Jeff Hardy. Jeff comes out and says that he wants a title shot, so he challenges Cena to a match to determine the Number 1 Contender for the WWE title.
Vince McMahon interrupts and instead of booking John Cena vs Jeff Hardy, he books Jeff Hardy vs John Cena. Either that was intentional, or Vince has simply lost his mind. Also tonight, JBL vs Chris Jericho and get this... THE IC TITLE WILL BE DEFENDED!!
Commercial!
We are back and we get footage of Paul Burchill attacking Kennedy last week.
Mr.Kennedy vs Paul Burchill... Is NOT happening this week. Paul has to help his sister get ready for her match (By having sex with her) but he has found a replacement. Probably Umaga or some shit like that.
Mr.Kennedy vs Umaga (I F'n called it!)
Umaga's ribs are taped up from his match vs Jeff at ONS. Umaga takes over with a Drop (See, he's Samoan, so there's no need to call it a Samoan Drop. Its basic Thugonomics, yo!). Kennedy comes back and goes after Umaga's injured ribs, but Umaga tosses him out of the ring. Umaga tries to Splash Kennedy on a table, but Kennedy moves out of the way and wins via Countout.
Winner:Mr.Kennedy
Post-Match, Burchill hits Kennedy with a Running Neckbreaker and Oh my God, he actually gets booed.
Commercial!!
Vince pimps the money giveaway, but I pay little attention to it.. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A SHOT AT WINNING. Vince goes on a tirade against people that dislike wrestling and he actually admits that he's doing this because the ratings are going down. He could probably use that million bucks to hire a better team of "writers" which could help him boost the ratings. Oh wait, that would actually make sense.
COMMERCIAL!!
Santino Marella and Carlito vs Cody "The CAW" Rhodes and Hardcore "I still suck" Holly (Non-Title Match)
Cody gets on the mic and says that we will have a special timekeeper for this match, Rowdy Roddy Piper. Cody hits a Crossbody early, but Santino hits some sort of Judo Throw. Carlito is tagged in and hits a Spinebuster on Cody. Santino back in and he misses the Salute Headbutt from the Second Rope. Holly is tagged in and goes for the Alabama Slam, but Carlito boots him which allows Santino to get the pin.
Winners:Carlito and Santino
Backstage, Carlito and Santino celebrate. Todd interviews Santino, he talks about Cousin Sal, and I still don't care about any of this... at all.
Back backstage, Holly yells at Cody for not telling him about Piper showing up. Ted Diabetes Jr. comes in and tells Cody that in 3 weeks, he will reveal his tag team partner (I still say its going to be Cody)
Back back backstage. Jericho tells JR that he intends to defend the IC title a little bit more, starting tonight!
COMMERCIAL!!!
Chris Jericho vs JBL (Intercontinental Title Match)
JBL takes over early with his usual flurry of punches. He hits a Swinging Neckbreaker and follows up with three Elbow Drops. JBL applies a Full Nelson, but Jericho manages to escape and eventually hits a Tornado DDT. Jericho goes up top again, but JBL catches him and hits The Last Call (Fallaway Slam). Jericho ducks the Clothesline from Hell and hits a Dropkick that sends JBL to the apron. Jericho hits the Springboard Dropkick and follows JBL to the outside. Big Boot by JBL who grabs a chair and gets DQ'ed.
Winner:Chris Jericho
Jericho trips JBL after the match, which prompts him to land throat first into the chair. Jericho grabs the chair and much like last week, thinks about bashing JBL's head in, but decides not to and walks away.
COMMERCIAL!!
Katie Lea and Beth Phoenix (Team Manjaw) vs Mickie James and Melina
Katie goes after Mickie early, but James hits the Hurrancanrana from the corner. Mickie goes for a tag, but Melina only wants her some of Beth (And so do I >_>). Beth gets tagged in and now Melina demands to be tagged. Melina goes right after Beth and both of them end up on the outside where Melina is knocked down by a Clothesline from Beth. Back in the ring, Katie is now the legal woman and she continues to beatdown Melina. Melina makes the hot tag to Mickie, who hits a Neckbreaker on Katie followed by a Thesz Press from the second rope. Mickie goes for the DDT, but Beth takes her head off with a Clothesline which gives Katie a chance to pin Mickie.
Winners:Team Manjaw (Beth and Katie)
COMMERCIAL!!!
Lance Cade vs Trevor Murdoch
Finally, we get the long-awaited grudge match between these two. Good brawl to start us off as both men exchange forearm shots. Both men are outside and Trevor misses a forearm shot as he hits the ring post. Cade hits a Backdrop then knees Murdoch's head right into the ring post. Back inside, Cade applies an Ortonlock, but Murdoch gets out of it and hits a Jawbreaker. Murdoch goes up top, but Cade punches him out of the air, hits th Sit-Out Spine Buster, and this one is over!
Winner:Lance Cade
We get clips from the TLC match at One Night Stand before heading to another commercial.
We are back and John Cena is hitting on Mickie James. Yes, what better way to get people to cheer for Cena than by hooking him up with a hot chick? Watch how this backfires eventually and only gets Cena more boos.
Also, HHH sits down to watch the Cena-Jeff match.
Jeff Hardy vs John Cena (Number 1 contender's match)
Some dude got in the ring just as the match was starting. Gotta love the security. Both Jeff and Cena just laugh it off. You know what, fuck this... Cena wins and we'll get Cena vs HHH at Night of Champions. 2006 called, and they're sick and tired of this feud. For what its worth, the Cena-Jeff Hardy match was pretty good and easily the best match of this episode of RAW.
Post-Match, HHH comes out to the ramp where he meets up with John Cena. We have ourselves a staredown and the that ends the show.
Overall Thoughts
ear, Vince... Giving away money won't magically make the show better. Even if gives you a small increase in the ratings in the short-term, it'll do nothing in the long run once all the money is given away, and the fans realize that the product is still underwhelming.Only one match got any time, and that was the ME. The Jericho is he/isn't he turning is the only realy highlight on RAW at the moment. The rest are just filler feuds (Kennedy/Burchill) or shit we've seen in the past (Trips/Cena). I will give props to WWE for one thing... The Women's division has been good these past couple of weeks. Unfortunately, much like in TNA, they're only allowed to book the Women's division correctly and nothing else. Thumbs down for this week's RAW, you did not miss a damn thing if you didn't watch the show. The Draft can't get here quick enough.