Soulpower
Guest
Welcome, to your weekly RAW review. On tap for tonight, we have the return of John Cena, and more build-up towards Judgment Day. As stated in the topic title, we are live from the JOE LOUIS ARENA (HOME OF THE SEXTROIT GREAT WINGS!) in Detroit, Michigan (Pistons, FTW).
We kick off the show with William Regal as he tells Lillian Garcia to sing Long Live The Queen. After that's done, Regal is NOT amused at the fans disrespect and threatens to throw someone out. He takes aim at a couple that are definitely not plants (*Cough*). Mickie James comes out and says that its her brother and his girlfriend, Regal threatens to strip her... of the title if she continues to disrespect him.
But... THE John Cena comes out and interrupts Regal. John Cena cuts one of THOSE promo. You know, the ones that are really annoying and make John Cena look like a total tool. Regal makes Cena vs Orton for tonight's main event. Cena tells Lillian to sing some Aretha as we head to our first commercial.
We are back and Roddy the Piper is out. He'll be watching the following match.
Carlito & Santino vs Cody "The CAW" Rhodes & Hardcore "The black hole of charisma" Holly (World Tag Team Championship match)
Holly and Santino start off. Hardcore takes the advantage with a Dropkick and quickly goes for the Alabama Slam. Carlito sneaks in and hits the Roll of The Dice but Santino only gets a two count. Holly makes the comeback, but Carlito is tagged in. Carlito walks right into a Back Suplex and both men tag in their respective partners. Springboard Crossbody by Rhodes on Carlito followed by a Powerslam. Santino is back in the ring, knocks down Cody and goes to the top rope. He's distracted by Piper then walks right into the DDT #3 by Rhodes for the win.
Winners
Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
COMMERCIAL!!!
Kennedy is here and no one can stop because he's Mr.Kennedy... Kennedy
Mr.Kennedy vs Snitsky (UGGGH!)
I'll try to keep this short. Snitsky dominates early, Kennedy goes after the legs and hits the Facewash in the corner. Snitsky comes back with a hard Clothesline, goes for the Pump-handle Slam but Kennedy escapes. Kennedy kicks the knee, hits The Mic Check and this one is over.
Winner:Mr.Kennedy
Backstage, Santino says he's going to hurt Piper. Elsewhere, in the back... Mickie James thanks Cena and asks him to go out with her, brother Mickie and brother Mickie's girlfriend. Cena accepts, or not, I don't really care.
COMMERCIAL!!
Melina and Beth Phoenix vs Maria and Mickie James
Maria hits a Gutbuster at the start. Maria and Mickie team up and hit some sort of double leg-sweep. Mickie sends Melina to the ropes and knocks down Beth off of the apron. Beth leaves, Mickie hits a Neckbreaker on Melina and she gets the win.
Winners:Maria and Mickie
COMMERCIAL! Jericho is up next!
Chris Jericho is out and he wants to apologize to Shawn. Jericho has had a change of heart and now believes Shawn when he says he's hurt. Shawn comes out and admits that for the first time in his career (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) he faked an injury (HAHAHAHAHA!). Jericho calls this "mindgames" and says he won't fall for them. Shawn Superkicks Jericho and tells him to believe him when he says he's NOT hurt.
COMMERCIAL!!
We are back and the CROWD IS ON FIRE, that can only mean one thing... Jeff Hardy is back.
Jeff... still can't cut a promo. Thankfully, Regal cuts off his mic and tells him he'll go one on one with Umaga.
Jeff Hardy vs Umaga
Dropkick through the ropes at the start by Hardy. Umaga takes over with some Uppercuts and hits a Headbutt from the second rope. Umaga delivers a corner beatdown and goes for the Buttsmash but Jeff avoids it. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind and this one is over.
Winner:Jeff Hardy
Probably another commercial...
Cryme Tyme vs Cade/Murdoch
Another match that was incredibly short. Murdoch counters a sunset flip for the win, but its the post-match happenings that matter. Cade celebrates and wants Murdoch to sing. Trevor obliges and sings some Kenny Rogers (The Singer, not the pitcher). Cade knocks out Murdoch with a stiff right hand. Trevor gets up and Lance just knocks him down again.
Winner:Lance Cade... and only Lance Cade
Backstage, Melina and Beth are arguing and Melina strikes Beth. Beth is all like nuh-uh, I'm Da Jugganaut Bitch and just beats down Melina. Two big tits (W/Jillian Hall) show up to separate the two.
COMMERCIAL!!
JR and Lawler pimp the JD card but neglect to mention the Kane/Punk vs Morrison/Miz tag match. The Grish interviews Orton who cuts what was more than.likely.a.boring.promo.that.sounded.like.this.
Randy Orton vs John Cena
New music for Randy. It sucks, so it fits him. Cena takes over early as he hits a Bulldog and a Fisherman's Suplex. Orton puts a stop to the barrage with the Stretch Backbreaker. Randy goes for the Garvin stomp but Cena grabs his foot and just flings him out of the ring which leads us to..
A COMMERCIAL!!
We are back and Orton is applying a Fujiwara.. Who am I kidding? IT WAS A CHINLOCK. Cena powers out but Randy hits a Snap Powerslam for a 2 count. Back to the Chinlock and Cena powers out again and Randy just takes him down again. Orton stalks and looks like he's going for the RKO. Cena counters and hits the Throwback then hits the Leg Drop from the top rope. Orton rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says that Regal has appointed a special guest ref. Cena and JBL slug it out, Orton goes for the cheapshot but Cena catches him and is going for the FU. JBL hits a big boot on Cena, Orton pins and gets the win after a fast count.
Winner:Randy Orton
The bad guys beatdown Cena until HHH makes the save. JBL and Cena fight through the crowd, Orton and HHH fight in the ring and a Steel Cage is being lowered. Both men contine to fight and HHH launches Orton into the steel cage. Orton falls underneath the cage to end the show.
Overall Thoughts: It felt like a chore watching this week's RAW. Other than the Jericho promo and the main event, nothing was really all that interesting. Jeff's return will help spice up the mid-card... and probably nothing else. My biggest problem with the show was the fact that all the matches got a small amount of time and thus, they really didn't mean a damn thing. It was also a shame to see that after all the build it got in the past weeks, the match between Carlito-Santino and Rhodes/Holly lasted all of 3 minutes. Thumbs down for this week's episode.
Remember to read Kaedon's NSZ along with his SD review. Until next week, I am out!
We kick off the show with William Regal as he tells Lillian Garcia to sing Long Live The Queen. After that's done, Regal is NOT amused at the fans disrespect and threatens to throw someone out. He takes aim at a couple that are definitely not plants (*Cough*). Mickie James comes out and says that its her brother and his girlfriend, Regal threatens to strip her... of the title if she continues to disrespect him.
But... THE John Cena comes out and interrupts Regal. John Cena cuts one of THOSE promo. You know, the ones that are really annoying and make John Cena look like a total tool. Regal makes Cena vs Orton for tonight's main event. Cena tells Lillian to sing some Aretha as we head to our first commercial.
We are back and Roddy the Piper is out. He'll be watching the following match.
Carlito & Santino vs Cody "The CAW" Rhodes & Hardcore "The black hole of charisma" Holly (World Tag Team Championship match)
Holly and Santino start off. Hardcore takes the advantage with a Dropkick and quickly goes for the Alabama Slam. Carlito sneaks in and hits the Roll of The Dice but Santino only gets a two count. Holly makes the comeback, but Carlito is tagged in. Carlito walks right into a Back Suplex and both men tag in their respective partners. Springboard Crossbody by Rhodes on Carlito followed by a Powerslam. Santino is back in the ring, knocks down Cody and goes to the top rope. He's distracted by Piper then walks right into the DDT #3 by Rhodes for the win.
Winners
Rhodes and Hardcore HollyCOMMERCIAL!!!
Kennedy is here and no one can stop because he's Mr.Kennedy... Kennedy
Mr.Kennedy vs Snitsky (UGGGH!)
I'll try to keep this short. Snitsky dominates early, Kennedy goes after the legs and hits the Facewash in the corner. Snitsky comes back with a hard Clothesline, goes for the Pump-handle Slam but Kennedy escapes. Kennedy kicks the knee, hits The Mic Check and this one is over.
Winner:Mr.Kennedy
Backstage, Santino says he's going to hurt Piper. Elsewhere, in the back... Mickie James thanks Cena and asks him to go out with her, brother Mickie and brother Mickie's girlfriend. Cena accepts, or not, I don't really care.
COMMERCIAL!!
Melina and Beth Phoenix vs Maria and Mickie James
Maria hits a Gutbuster at the start. Maria and Mickie team up and hit some sort of double leg-sweep. Mickie sends Melina to the ropes and knocks down Beth off of the apron. Beth leaves, Mickie hits a Neckbreaker on Melina and she gets the win.
Winners:Maria and Mickie
COMMERCIAL! Jericho is up next!
Chris Jericho is out and he wants to apologize to Shawn. Jericho has had a change of heart and now believes Shawn when he says he's hurt. Shawn comes out and admits that for the first time in his career (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) he faked an injury (HAHAHAHAHA!). Jericho calls this "mindgames" and says he won't fall for them. Shawn Superkicks Jericho and tells him to believe him when he says he's NOT hurt.
COMMERCIAL!!
We are back and the CROWD IS ON FIRE, that can only mean one thing... Jeff Hardy is back.
Jeff... still can't cut a promo. Thankfully, Regal cuts off his mic and tells him he'll go one on one with Umaga.
Jeff Hardy vs Umaga
Dropkick through the ropes at the start by Hardy. Umaga takes over with some Uppercuts and hits a Headbutt from the second rope. Umaga delivers a corner beatdown and goes for the Buttsmash but Jeff avoids it. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind and this one is over.
Winner:Jeff Hardy
Probably another commercial...
Cryme Tyme vs Cade/Murdoch
Another match that was incredibly short. Murdoch counters a sunset flip for the win, but its the post-match happenings that matter. Cade celebrates and wants Murdoch to sing. Trevor obliges and sings some Kenny Rogers (The Singer, not the pitcher). Cade knocks out Murdoch with a stiff right hand. Trevor gets up and Lance just knocks him down again.
Winner:Lance Cade... and only Lance Cade
Backstage, Melina and Beth are arguing and Melina strikes Beth. Beth is all like nuh-uh, I'm Da Jugganaut Bitch and just beats down Melina. Two big tits (W/Jillian Hall) show up to separate the two.
COMMERCIAL!!
JR and Lawler pimp the JD card but neglect to mention the Kane/Punk vs Morrison/Miz tag match. The Grish interviews Orton who cuts what was more than.likely.a.boring.promo.that.sounded.like.this.
Randy Orton vs John Cena
New music for Randy. It sucks, so it fits him. Cena takes over early as he hits a Bulldog and a Fisherman's Suplex. Orton puts a stop to the barrage with the Stretch Backbreaker. Randy goes for the Garvin stomp but Cena grabs his foot and just flings him out of the ring which leads us to..
A COMMERCIAL!!
We are back and Orton is applying a Fujiwara.. Who am I kidding? IT WAS A CHINLOCK. Cena powers out but Randy hits a Snap Powerslam for a 2 count. Back to the Chinlock and Cena powers out again and Randy just takes him down again. Orton stalks and looks like he's going for the RKO. Cena counters and hits the Throwback then hits the Leg Drop from the top rope. Orton rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says that Regal has appointed a special guest ref. Cena and JBL slug it out, Orton goes for the cheapshot but Cena catches him and is going for the FU. JBL hits a big boot on Cena, Orton pins and gets the win after a fast count.
Winner:Randy Orton
The bad guys beatdown Cena until HHH makes the save. JBL and Cena fight through the crowd, Orton and HHH fight in the ring and a Steel Cage is being lowered. Both men contine to fight and HHH launches Orton into the steel cage. Orton falls underneath the cage to end the show.
Overall Thoughts: It felt like a chore watching this week's RAW. Other than the Jericho promo and the main event, nothing was really all that interesting. Jeff's return will help spice up the mid-card... and probably nothing else. My biggest problem with the show was the fact that all the matches got a small amount of time and thus, they really didn't mean a damn thing. It was also a shame to see that after all the build it got in the past weeks, the match between Carlito-Santino and Rhodes/Holly lasted all of 3 minutes. Thumbs down for this week's episode.
Remember to read Kaedon's NSZ along with his SD review. Until next week, I am out!
