WWE Extreme Rules 2012

[Crippler]

WWE Extreme Rules
April 29th, 2012
Chicago, Illinois​

Falls Count Anywhere: Kane vs. Randy Orton
If my memory is correct at Mania Kane shockingly won at Mania, and this is the rematch. I forgot they also added family into this Kane beat up poor Cowboy Bob and then attacked Randy when he came for the save. But the following week Randy took poor Paul, but Kane told him he doesn’t care and left him for dead. So this was fun, but not as great as I remembered it being. It lacked that hate from Orton; I was expecting him to come out being the face here and try to kill Kane for “attacking” his dad. But what we got was a real safe brawl from the ring to backstage; I will admit I do miss crowd brawls those can be fun times that especially in Kane matches when I have no desire to see him do wrestling moves at all. It took them a good 7 minutes to brawl from one side of the arena to the other before finally going backstage, both guys fight all the way into this shitty VIP room where some of the superstars are but suddenly Ryder jumps Kane but it has no effect whatsoever, a part from giving Randy the advantage for a little bit. After that nonsense they finally come back out down to ringside. Orton beats on Kane with some chairs for a bit before hitting the DDT off the table but that only gets two. Kane would counter an RKO by pushing Orton into the ringpost for two before rolling him back in. He then heads up top but Orton cuts him off and delivers a superplex. Minutes later Kane would hit the chokeslam for two and for a shockingly great nearfall man Chicago fans will get into anything. Kane signals for the tombstone but Orton slips out and nails the RKO on the chair for the win. So yeah not a great as I remembered just real safe and solid way to end the feud I guess. **1/2

Backstage: Jonny Ace is with Eve Torres, she tells him she has a little surprise for in and enters Teddy long who has champagne and pours a glass foe the both of them as they toast to CHANGE! AND PEOPLE POWER! Suddenly Ace gets a phone call from Hunter, and he leaves.

Brodus Clay (w/Hornswoggle & Funkadactyls) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie & Jack Swagger in a suit)
Cole calling Booker a stegosaurus, and listening to Booker switch on him > this whole match, hands down. So this was pretty much Dolph bumping like crazy making Clay’s shitty offense look acceptable. Even when Dolph was in control it a acceptable but it’s just live every other Raw match we’ve seen on TV before. Brodus has a comeback when Dolph tries to hit him with a suplex which made no sense; he hit the headbutt and splash for the win. What a waste. *1/2

We get highlights on the pre-show; of Teddy spinning the wheel and the result of it is a table’s match between Show and Cody.

Tables Match For The WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
This only got 5/6 minutes and was fun, it’s mostly Show throwing Cody around and Cody taking some great bumps and punishing moves. At one point Cody ran up a table stacked up the corner and hit the disaster kick which was fuckin’ cool. The match ends when Show sets up a table on the floor next to the ring but Cody hits a desperation dropkick to Show’s knee and shows leg goes through the tavle giving Cody the win Post-Match: Show is pissed so he spears Cody, and now begins to heel it up before chokeslamming him through one. But he’s not done as the crowd chant one more time, he picks up Cody and throws him from the ring to the table set up on the floor next to the announce table. Fun while it lasted. **1/4

Backstage: Striker interviews Daniel Bryan; Striker asks him why he thinks he has the advantage and Bryan says that stupid before giving him a list of AWESOME reasons. He gets more chicks, his beard is better than Sheamus', his stomach isn't weighed down by five pounds of corned beef, and he's better than him in every way. . He says Chicagoans think they're the best crowd, but they are overrated and unoriginal DAT HEEL HEAT! Is he smarter than Sheamus? YES. Is he in better condition than Sheamus? YES. Will be become the World Heavyweight Champion? YES! YES! YES! He walks away and AJ is watching.

2 Out Of 3 Falls For The WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
So hey, this is still fuickin’ incredible. Great feeling out process early on with Sheamus almost hitting him with the Brogue Kick and that allowed Bryan to go into his type of match the mat game. We get a real good series of counter wrestling until Sheamus locks in the Clover Leaf but he makes it to the ropes, he tries it again but Bryan counters into a small package for two but Sheamus comes back with a clothesline regaining control again. At one point Bryan dives off the apron but Sheamus catches him in mid air and kills him by ramming him into the barricade. Sheamus then heads up but Bryan cuts him off and goes to work working over the legs, arms and head area just doing his best to wear him down and trying to pick the best body part to work on. And he does, it’s the arm. He works it for a bit and Sheamus does some good selling but once the match turns into a strike exchange he no-sells it. I did mark the fuck out when Bryan was choking Sheamus on the ropes and the ref backed him off he did the “I HAVE TILL 5” gimmick. The match continues to go back and forth for a bit, until Bryan sidesteps Sheamus and he hits the turnbuckles he then does the greatest thing ever and kicks the ropes that the injured arm is on. He continues to kick the arm but Sheamus counters a ‘Rana attempt and hits a shoulderblock for two. We get this AWESOME! Struggle with Bryan desperately trying to lock in the yes lock but Sheamus has like a different counter for all 3 attempts but he tries to rush in and Bryan sidesteps him and Sheamus goes shoulder first into the ring post sending him to the floor. That allows Bryan to viciously work the arm, and it’s amazing he begins kicking the shit out of it until the ref counts to 5 giving Sheamus the DQ win. Sheamus 1-0

After like 10 seconds of rest Bryan hits the running dropkick in the corner and locks in the yes lock in which Sheamus “passes out” giving Bryan the win. We are tied 1-1

The ref calls for the doctor to come in and check on Sheamus as Bryan taunts the shit out of this crowd with yes chants, this is great. This lasts for a good few minutes with Sheamus telling the doc’s and ref he’s good but Bryan comes charging in but Sheamus kicks the shit out of him with the Brogue Kick, but he’s too warn out to make the cover so as a result Bryan kicks out at two. Both men slowly get back to their feet with Bryan hitting a death kick for two, but as he heads up that allows Sheamus to cut him off but Bryan fights him off but misses the headbutt. He again comes in with the running dropkick but Sheamus avoids it and begins his comeback but still sells the shit out of his arm, it’s some of the best selling he’s ever done. He sets up and connects with the Brogue for the win. NOW! As much as I love that match, the ending I have a problem with. Sheamus makes a comeback, and then just sort of hits the Brogue Kick to win. The entire match is about Bryan being tough enough to hang with Sheamus and smart enough to out think him and it ends with Sheamus just flattening him with ease on his comeback. ****1/4

Ryback vs. Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton
YEP! YEP! WHAT IT DO! This was not, the jobbers get on the mic and say a bunch of shit until one of them says the greatest catchphrase of all time “TWO IS GREATER THAN ONE” they say this at least 5 times before Ryback comes out and kills them. I should also mention Lawler has the best line about the two jobbers that they can start a new show called one and half men when Ryback gets done with them.

Backstage: Striker interviews CM Punk, Striker asks about the emotional match. He says tonight isn't any title match, it's a Chicago Street Fight, he doesn't think Chris Jericho gets that because he cares more about his psychology games. Punk says he passed his test on Raw with flying colours. He says someone's waking up with a hangover, and it is not gonna be him it is gonna be Jericho not because of booze, but because he put him to sleep.

Chicago Street Fight For The WWE Championship: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk
The match starts off strong with Punk showing hate early on introducing the weapons like kendo sticks and chairs. But Jericho manages to weather the storm and thumbs Punk in the eye before dropkicking him. Jericho no uses the kendo stick as a weapon. Both men fight on the floor for a bit but once they get back into the ring Jericho exposes the turnbuckles, Punk manages to fight back for a bit but misses the running knee and he falls to the floor. Jericho at one point tries to expose a ring barricade but that doesn’t work so instead he taunts his family at ringside. Well Punks “Sister” doesn’t like it at all and slaps him, so Jericho tries to go after her but all that does it fire Punk up and he goes in full blown rage move slamming Jericho onto that top bit of the announce table but he tries to piledrive Jericho on the floor, but Jericho fights back with a backdrop before hitting him in the back with a TV monitor and the wood piece of the table. LOL @ Punk botching the springboard elbow but thankfully Jericho makes up for it by hitting him with the kendo stick to somewhat make it looks like Punk saw it coming and tries to drop down instead of botching. Now one of the problems I have with this is in the middle portion it’s too slow at times and it really didn’t need Jericho pouring beer on Punks head, not because of the “Straight Edge” shit but he should have been more focused on winning the title instead it felt like he just wants to embarrass Punk. Anyway, Punk manages to make a comeback and it’s good nothing special, he tries to hit the GTS but Jericho counters into the walls but Punk counters into by flipping him over, but out of desperation he hits a powerslam for two. Both men fight up top now, with Punk getting the better knocking him down before hitting the elbow drop for two. We get a ton of counters with both men counters out of the others finishing movers until Jericho simply throws Punk head first into the chair that was setup in-between the ropes and follows up with a roll-up for two. Jericho then hits the codebreaker for two but doesn’t go for the pin; instead he locks in the walls right in the middle of the ring. He has it locks in but Punk crawls to the ropes before grabbing a fire extinguisher and spaying it in his eyes. He follows up by hitting Jericho in the guy with it in the ring and out of the ring, roundhouse kick sends Jericho on top of the announce table and Punk heads up on top of the buckles. He almost falls off but regains his balance and hits the elbow drop. Punk manages to roll Jericho back into the ring and covers for two, he would lock in the vice but Jericho would break the hold by hitting Punk in the head with the kendo stick that was pretty great. Punk would hit Jericho in the gut with a chair but out of nowhere Jericho delivers the code breaker with the chair hitting Punk in the face for two. OH SHIT! Jericho has now lost his shit, he drags Punk up to his feet and he sets Punk up for the GTS, but Punk counters by catapulting him into the exposed steel, followed by hitting the Go to Sleep for the win. Okay, it’s fun really fun but it has its flaws some really botched stuff and the middle dragged at times. I just checked the time and this went 27 minutes and IMO you could have cut 5-7 minutes and this still would have had the same effect if not been better. ***1/2 - ***3/4

Backstage: The Bella’s are taunting Beth “THE GREAT” Phoenix, when Eve walks up to her and she says she’s not medically cleared so she won’t be getting her match tonight. Bella’s say they’re going home so Eve cuts her off and saying she will defend her title tonight. They are terrified, and Eve says it's not Kharma.

WWE Divas Championship: Nikki Bella (w/Brie Bella) vs. Layla
Brie and a flat chested Nikki cut a promo, Nikki has no boobs so I’m not listening and Brie promo kills are the worse. Well Laya comes out and she hot but no fucks are given so. Layla doing lucha shit early on is hilarious until Brie takes out her knee and Flat Nikki tries to work it. It sucks, terrible. At one point they do twin magic and Layla hits a back/neck breaker for the win. 3 minutes of nothing.

Extreme Rules: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena
Cena bringing back the chain on his entrance cause he knows he’s about to get killed and he does, not even 20 seconds into the match BORK! Rapes his forehead and top of his head with sick elbows, Classic Cena he tries to out wrestle Brock but that backfires worse than anything and Brock toys the fuck out of him, so much so that the refs and EMT’s have to stop the match and stop the bleeding. Cena game plan is a mess he tries to take the fight to Brock but the ground and pound is just too nasty and deadly, again the refs put a stop to this for the time being to superglue his head. Out fo pure desperation Cena tries the AA but Brock counter with Germans, we get a ref bump off a shoulderblock by Cena so Brock comes back with one of his own putting an end to Cena’s momentum. Brock now begins to strike away at the injured head and any other body part he sees, from blows to the back, shoulders to the guy to even attempting to kimura but he can’t lock it in so he simply throws Cena shoulder first into he buckle and out of the ring. He again tries the kimura but Cena fights it off and Brock flings him like a fuckin’ toy into the barricade Brock picks up the chain and ties up Cena legs just to clothesline him down AWESOME! Cena still has the chair wrapped around his legs so Brock hangs him up on the ringpost and begins to work the arm before simply unhooking the legs and dropping him to the floor Cena tries again to fight back but he gets killed when Brock throws him into the steps, he then picks up the ref with one hand and flings him into the ring Cena with all his energy crawls in the ring with the chain but Brock steps on the hand. That allows Cena to pick him up for the AA, but Brock counters into the F5 but while he’s hitting the move he takes out the ref but luckily another one runs down to count two. BROCK IS PISSD! So he clotheslines that ref down before picking up the steps and throwing them into the ring. Brock applies the kimura on the steps but Cena manages to break the hold by slamming Brock onto the steps, he heads up top for the legdrop but he misses and it legit looks like he blews his hamstring. So not only a bad arm, hole in his head but a bad hamstring poor guy. Brock continues to taunt him until Cena climbs the apron but Brock being Brock leap off the steel steps with a flying leg lariat over the top rope that takes both men nastily to the floor. Brock looks like he might have tweaked his knee but he just gets right back up and laughs it off. Brock tries for the same leaping leg lariat move off the steps but this time Cena meets his face directly with his fist wrapped in his steel chain! Now Brock is busted open. Brock can barely get back to his feet and Cena gives him the Attitude Adjustment on top of the steel steps for the win. Hands down, one of the most brutal, disturbing, beautiful and exciting matches I've ever seen. The drama, action, legitimacy and a raucous crowd who were in it from bell-to-bell, man this match had it all was all. I've heard a lot of outrage on forums about Cena winning here, but Brock DESTROYED him for nearly twenty minutes before Cena got the fluke win and Brock isn't seen as infallible as he was during his first run/debut. This was one of the most brutal flat out fights I've seen in a wrestling ring in a long time, some of these spots were VIOLENT and I sometimes wondered if this was a "SHOOT" because they looked so damn stiff. This was like an old school fight where two guys would stiff each other so hard they'd break bones, and to see that kind of a match worked in a WWE ring in itself was incredible, never mind all of the crazy heat and flat out hard work from both men, Cena's selling might of been the best I've ever seen from him but tbf I was more impressed with Brock not being in the WWE for what 8 years and for him to come back and have a match like that FUCK ME!. ****3/4

 

[Keith]

All the big matches delivered on this show which covered up for some of the rubbish elsewhere.

The IC Title finish was an insult.

 

[Deezy]

CM Punk and Jericho had zero chemistry, there I said it.

And I think the story of Bryan/Sheamus was the start of Bryan being a hothead and him getting clipped and losing seemed to be a catalyst for his anger management? but after you know, that terrible Punk feud.

Cena/Lesnar was the passion of the Cena, Brock killed him a few times like a monster does, but slipped on the banana peel like he did in his UFC debut, lucky and desperate move by Mir Cena the veteran who has been the man for a decade pulls out a hard fought victory. Couldn't understand the questioning of Brock losing this one....but I guess it was WHO he lost too and not the fact that he lost....."Cena Wins lol" guys can't understand storytelling?