Found This On The Internet And Thought I'd Post It. lol :
Stamford, CT - Titan Tower Cafeteria
Hulk Hogan: Hey, bra. Is this seat taken?
Shawn Michaels: Would it stop you if I said it was?
Hulk: (sitting) Good point. What's up, man? There's only one table in the cafeteria now? Why back in my day, we used to have like 50 tables in the Titan Tower eating area. 50!
Shawn: Not sure where they all went. There's a rumor that Heyman stole them for OVW. He's gonna do some match where everyone puts each other through tables and then some lesbians kiss.
Hulk: (looking up) Oh crap. Scoot over. Here they come.
Ric Flair and Triple H approach the table
Ric Flair: Whoooo!
Triple H: Hey. What's doing, guys?
Shawn: Nothing much. Just talking to Rip here and eating some food. We seem to have run out of tables.
Ric: Hey…how'd you guys like to see my penis?
Hulk: No thanks, brother.
Shawn: Seriously, man. Put that thing away. You know I'm a man of God. You don't just run around ripping out your Johnson in front of me.
Hulk: Uhhh….You're welcome, by the way.
Shawn: For what?
Hulk: For inventing God. Uh - duh! If I didn't invent God, you wouldn't have anyone to worship.
Shawn: (shocked and angered) What?!
Hulk: Don't even play, midget. You know it. Think back, man. Think back to the '80s. "Train, say your PRAYERS, take your vitamins." Who do you think thought up prayers? Hulk Hogan, that's who. Before me, there were no prayers. I came up with it.
Hunter: Wow.
Shawn: You didn't invent prayers.
Hulk: I did so! Go back and watch some old tapes. I said "Train, say your PRAYERS, take your vitamins." That was me.
Shawn: This issue isn't whether or not you said it! It was whether or not you invented it! You did not!
Hulk: Oh and I suppose you did? Well, screw you, man. You couldn't draw flies if you were covered in shit.
Shawn: What?!
Hulk: I said the Yucatan's shoreline covets it's ships.
Hunter: (impressed) Wow. That was quick. You really are the master.
Hulk: Bask in my glow.
Ric: You know what'll settle this argument? My penis! Who wants to see?
Steve Austin comes to the table. He puts down his tray and takes a seat.
Steve Austin: What? What? Look atcha! Eh eh! What's happening, asshole?
Hulk: Hey!
Hunter: Hey!
Shawn:Hey!
Ric: Whoooo!
Steve: I knew you wouldn't be able to figure out who I was talking to. Heh heh heh,
Hunter: Hey Shawn, give me some of your tots.
Shawn: No! Go find your own!
Hunter: Come on, Shawn. Give me some of your tots.
Shawn: No! I'm freakin' starved! I didn't get to eat anything today!
Steve: Hey, clam up. Here comes the new kid.
John Cena walks over. He's carrying a full plate of food and humming to himself.
John Cena: Yo yo yo. Check this out! A whole table full of legends. I'd be honored if I could sit with you guys.
Hunter: Sorry, Randy. There's no room in the Inn, kid. Seats are all used up.
Cena: I'm John Cena.
Hulk: The Warrior Princess?
Cena: No. John Cena - not Xena. Anyway, there’s plenty of chairs left.
Hunter: They're all being held for Mr. Duh-here.
Cena: Mr. Duh-here?
Hunter: Yeah. His first name is Get-da-f*ck-out. Now bounce, Randy.
Hunter: That kid'll never make it. He isn't experienced enough.
Hulk: He's not big enough.
Shawn: He doesn’t connect to the audience enough.
Steve: (slamming his hand on the table) He don't drink enough!
Everyone stops and stares at Steve Austin.
Ric: Hey, speaking of seaman, who'd like to see my pe…
Hunter: We said Cena! Not seaman! What's wrong with you?
Steve: I think we need some more napkins.
Shawn: Good idea.
Hulk: (glancing around) Uh…uh…We should get more napkins. I was going to say that. I said that first. More napkins. That was my good idea.
Steve: Shaddup! It was not!
Shawn: Well, let me tell you this, boys. You may need more napkins, but no one can use napkins like the Heartbreak Kid. I use napkins better than anyone in this business.
Hulk: I have the biggest napkins in the world!
Steve: More people bought my napkins than any of yours!
Shawn: Well, I…Hey, Hunter. Don't you wanna get in on this? You always used to be up for a game of "Everyone's Jealous."
Hunter: Yeah, well not anymore. You see, in the last few months I realized something.
Steve: What's that?
Hunter: If Vince McMahon decides to close down WWE tomorrow, you all have to go across the world to Japan in order to collect any halfway decent money while I'm still related to millionaires.
Steve: (tossing down his sandwich) Well, I ain't hungry no more.
Ric: Did you say you wanted me to get naked?
Dusty Rhodes comes over. He's carrying two pizzas and a Diet Coke.
Dusty Rhodes: Well, look at this, baby! The 'Merican Dream is here with a little bit of fried chicken and the Dream says he's gonna get funky like a monkey then I'm gonna kill the monkey, baby.
Hunter: Hey Boomhauer. Nice hat.
Dusty: Thank ya, baby. Hey Ric. I was thinking that maybe me and you could tear up some houses through the Carolinas and draw some bi'ness for ol Vinnie Mac Manny, baby. Whatchu think? Maybe you and the 'Merican Dream ride the lighting bolt again and make some dimes.
Ric: Fine. Just not mid-afternoon. That's when I take nappies.
Dusty: OK, baby. (pointing) Hey Shawn. You gonna eat that?
Shawn: (confused) My cell phone?
Dusty: Yeah.
Shawn: No. You don't eat that. You make phone calls with it. It's a cell phone.
Dusty: So that means you ain't gonna eat it? Can I have it?
Shawn: No. You can't eat my cell phone.
Bret Hart: Don't they tell you to share with others in the bible?
Everyone looks up to see Bret Hart.
Shawn: Oh wow. Look at the time. I gotta run. You comin' Hunter?
Hunter: Sure. Let's go Ric.
Ric: Why?
Hunter: (Whispering) You called him Beefcake in your book.
Ric: I didn't put write that in my book!
Hunter: No…I did. Now just zip your fly and let's go!
Hulk: Uh, I have to go call my babysitter, Brian Knobbs, and make sure my teenage children aren't acting up.
Shawn, Hunter, Hulk, and Ric all leave the table.
Dusty: (chasing after them) Hey! Shawn! Get back here! Give me that phone! Get-in-my-belly! Gotta have my baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back ribs….
Bret: Aren't you gonna run away too?
Steve: Nah. I just ate two hotdogs - what? - a container of milk - what? - three cheesecakes - what? - nine Steveweisers - what? And I'm afraid that if I get up - what? - I might puke. Now give me a Hell's Yeah!
Stamford, CT - Titan Tower Cafeteria
Hulk Hogan: Hey, bra. Is this seat taken?
Shawn Michaels: Would it stop you if I said it was?
Hulk: (sitting) Good point. What's up, man? There's only one table in the cafeteria now? Why back in my day, we used to have like 50 tables in the Titan Tower eating area. 50!
Shawn: Not sure where they all went. There's a rumor that Heyman stole them for OVW. He's gonna do some match where everyone puts each other through tables and then some lesbians kiss.
Hulk: (looking up) Oh crap. Scoot over. Here they come.
Ric Flair and Triple H approach the table
Ric Flair: Whoooo!
Triple H: Hey. What's doing, guys?
Shawn: Nothing much. Just talking to Rip here and eating some food. We seem to have run out of tables.
Ric: Hey…how'd you guys like to see my penis?
Hulk: No thanks, brother.
Shawn: Seriously, man. Put that thing away. You know I'm a man of God. You don't just run around ripping out your Johnson in front of me.
Hulk: Uhhh….You're welcome, by the way.
Shawn: For what?
Hulk: For inventing God. Uh - duh! If I didn't invent God, you wouldn't have anyone to worship.
Shawn: (shocked and angered) What?!
Hulk: Don't even play, midget. You know it. Think back, man. Think back to the '80s. "Train, say your PRAYERS, take your vitamins." Who do you think thought up prayers? Hulk Hogan, that's who. Before me, there were no prayers. I came up with it.
Hunter: Wow.
Shawn: You didn't invent prayers.
Hulk: I did so! Go back and watch some old tapes. I said "Train, say your PRAYERS, take your vitamins." That was me.
Shawn: This issue isn't whether or not you said it! It was whether or not you invented it! You did not!
Hulk: Oh and I suppose you did? Well, screw you, man. You couldn't draw flies if you were covered in shit.
Shawn: What?!
Hulk: I said the Yucatan's shoreline covets it's ships.
Hunter: (impressed) Wow. That was quick. You really are the master.
Hulk: Bask in my glow.
Ric: You know what'll settle this argument? My penis! Who wants to see?
Steve Austin comes to the table. He puts down his tray and takes a seat.
Steve Austin: What? What? Look atcha! Eh eh! What's happening, asshole?
Hulk: Hey!
Hunter: Hey!
Shawn:Hey!
Ric: Whoooo!
Steve: I knew you wouldn't be able to figure out who I was talking to. Heh heh heh,
Hunter: Hey Shawn, give me some of your tots.
Shawn: No! Go find your own!
Hunter: Come on, Shawn. Give me some of your tots.
Shawn: No! I'm freakin' starved! I didn't get to eat anything today!
Steve: Hey, clam up. Here comes the new kid.
John Cena walks over. He's carrying a full plate of food and humming to himself.
John Cena: Yo yo yo. Check this out! A whole table full of legends. I'd be honored if I could sit with you guys.
Hunter: Sorry, Randy. There's no room in the Inn, kid. Seats are all used up.
Cena: I'm John Cena.
Hulk: The Warrior Princess?
Cena: No. John Cena - not Xena. Anyway, there’s plenty of chairs left.
Hunter: They're all being held for Mr. Duh-here.
Cena: Mr. Duh-here?
Hunter: Yeah. His first name is Get-da-f*ck-out. Now bounce, Randy.
Hunter: That kid'll never make it. He isn't experienced enough.
Hulk: He's not big enough.
Shawn: He doesn’t connect to the audience enough.
Steve: (slamming his hand on the table) He don't drink enough!
Everyone stops and stares at Steve Austin.
Ric: Hey, speaking of seaman, who'd like to see my pe…
Hunter: We said Cena! Not seaman! What's wrong with you?
Steve: I think we need some more napkins.
Shawn: Good idea.
Hulk: (glancing around) Uh…uh…We should get more napkins. I was going to say that. I said that first. More napkins. That was my good idea.
Steve: Shaddup! It was not!
Shawn: Well, let me tell you this, boys. You may need more napkins, but no one can use napkins like the Heartbreak Kid. I use napkins better than anyone in this business.
Hulk: I have the biggest napkins in the world!
Steve: More people bought my napkins than any of yours!
Shawn: Well, I…Hey, Hunter. Don't you wanna get in on this? You always used to be up for a game of "Everyone's Jealous."
Hunter: Yeah, well not anymore. You see, in the last few months I realized something.
Steve: What's that?
Hunter: If Vince McMahon decides to close down WWE tomorrow, you all have to go across the world to Japan in order to collect any halfway decent money while I'm still related to millionaires.
Steve: (tossing down his sandwich) Well, I ain't hungry no more.
Ric: Did you say you wanted me to get naked?
Dusty Rhodes comes over. He's carrying two pizzas and a Diet Coke.
Dusty Rhodes: Well, look at this, baby! The 'Merican Dream is here with a little bit of fried chicken and the Dream says he's gonna get funky like a monkey then I'm gonna kill the monkey, baby.
Hunter: Hey Boomhauer. Nice hat.
Dusty: Thank ya, baby. Hey Ric. I was thinking that maybe me and you could tear up some houses through the Carolinas and draw some bi'ness for ol Vinnie Mac Manny, baby. Whatchu think? Maybe you and the 'Merican Dream ride the lighting bolt again and make some dimes.
Ric: Fine. Just not mid-afternoon. That's when I take nappies.
Dusty: OK, baby. (pointing) Hey Shawn. You gonna eat that?
Shawn: (confused) My cell phone?
Dusty: Yeah.
Shawn: No. You don't eat that. You make phone calls with it. It's a cell phone.
Dusty: So that means you ain't gonna eat it? Can I have it?
Shawn: No. You can't eat my cell phone.
Bret Hart: Don't they tell you to share with others in the bible?
Everyone looks up to see Bret Hart.
Shawn: Oh wow. Look at the time. I gotta run. You comin' Hunter?
Hunter: Sure. Let's go Ric.
Ric: Why?
Hunter: (Whispering) You called him Beefcake in your book.
Ric: I didn't put write that in my book!
Hunter: No…I did. Now just zip your fly and let's go!
Hulk: Uh, I have to go call my babysitter, Brian Knobbs, and make sure my teenage children aren't acting up.
Shawn, Hunter, Hulk, and Ric all leave the table.
Dusty: (chasing after them) Hey! Shawn! Get back here! Give me that phone! Get-in-my-belly! Gotta have my baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back-baby-back ribs….
Bret: Aren't you gonna run away too?
Steve: Nah. I just ate two hotdogs - what? - a container of milk - what? - three cheesecakes - what? - nine Steveweisers - what? And I'm afraid that if I get up - what? - I might puke. Now give me a Hell's Yeah!
