WrestleMania 34
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat Match - Seth Rollins def. The Miz (c) & Finn Balor (15:30)
A great match to start off this WrestleMania. They had an awesome triple threat on Raw the year before so my expectations were high for this match (as they were for a number of matches on this show). Miz also comes out with the Miztourage and tells them to go to the back, wanting to do this on his own. I have to say, if Miz had won after that, it might’ve been a sweet victory despite me rooting for Finn at the time. This was fast paced all the way through and each man came out looking good. There was a lot to talk about here, Finn dives on both men on the outside. Seth hits duel suicide dives to both men. Miz gets a big bruise on his side at some point so he he definitely took his lumps. Seth and Finn show off their great chemistry. Miz takes Seth out of the ring and puts Finn in the Figure 4 leglock. But Seth leaps back into the match, literally, with a frog splash onto Miz to break it up! Seth teases using the Buckle Bomb to Finn on the outside, but Finn escapes this time and potentially saves his shoulder. One sweet sequence occurs when Seth hits a superplex and then tries the falcon arrow, but Finn reverses it into a small package. Seth kicks out and looks at the ref asking if it was only 2, but that small distraction lets Miz come up from behind and hit Skull Crushing Finale! But Seth kicks out. And the closing moments of this match are beautiful! Miz hits a bulldog to Seth from the top rope and covers him, but Finn hits a Coup de Grace to break it up. Finn dropkicks Miz in the corner and hits the Coup de Grace. Finn tries to roll Miz over to cover him, but Seth comes back in and hits a Curb Stomp to Finn onto Miz’s back and Seth ends the match with another Curb Stomp, this time to The Miz to win the match. Awesome opening match.
My Rating: ****
I guess I should mention at this point that John Cena is in the crowd because he challenged Undertaker to a match here and Undertaker has yet to respond. So he’s in the crowd as a fan.
Match 2: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Charlotte Flair (c) def. Asuka (13:05)
Then Charlotte and Asuka have to follow that. And then somehow top it. This is my favorite match on the whole show and is one of the most underrated matches in WrestleMania history in my opinion! From start to finish, I thought this was great. And the result was a big surprise to many of us. The first few minutes is them trying to outwrestle the other. But the match picks up after Asuka sends Charlotte into the barricade, which injures the latter’s shoulder. Asuka paints a bullseye on it and kicks it repeatedly. Charlotte gives Asuka a couple knee drops that places her in front of the top right corner. Charlotte goes for a moonsault, but Asuka opens her legs and catches Charlotte in a Triangle Choke! But Charlotte reverses it into a Boston Crab. Asuka reverses that into a pin. They both end up on the apron and Asuka suplexes Charlotte onto the floor. Both women beat the 10 count and Charlotte tells Asuka that she’s the queen, to which Asuka responds to slapping the shit out of her with multiple strikes. Asuka goes to the top rope as the match goes on and Charlotte chops her in the chest and goes up with her and hits a Spanish Fly! In the closing moments of this match, Asuka tries to get Charlotte in the Asuka Lock and kicks the shit out of her. Asuka takes a run at the ropes and Charlotte hits her with a sick Spear! Then puts her in the Figure 8! And Asuka… taps out?! Asuka tapped out?! That’s how I reacted at the time. Now look, I have no problem with Charlotte ending Asuka’s streak. I don’t think she needed it, but whatever. I do however have a problem with this aftermath. Where Asuka grabs a mic and says in a very forced voice “Charlotte was ready for Asuka!” Like why ya gotta do her like that man. Other than that, I loved everything about this! This was a fantastic match!
My Rating: ****1/4
So after the match, a referee runs down to let Cena know that The Undertaker is here and Cena leaps over the barricade to sprint up the ramp past Charlotte.
Match 3: United States Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Jinder Mahal def. Randy Orton (c), Rusev & Bobby Roode (8:15)
A match that screams the match that gives them something to do. So odd to see Randy Orton in such a midcard match. Rusev was over as fuck as you probably can imagine. So everyone was ready to see him take the win. Not a whole lot to say other than the crowd was dead for everything that didn’t involve Rusev. Orton immediately tries to hit Jinder with an RKO. Rusev clears the ring and stands by himself in the ring. Orton hits Roode with a superplex. Orton hits Rusev with a draping DDT and the crowd is sooooo dead. So Orton is like “come oooooon.” Throwing his arms around to try to get the crowd into it. As Orton sets up Rusev, Aiden English runs in to eat an RKO and thats in vain because he still gets Rusev. Jinder runs back in and he also gets an RKO. But Bobby Roode saves the match and hits Orton with a Glorious DDT. Rusev hits him with a Machka Kick. Rusev looks like he’s gonna put Jinder in the Accolade, but Jinder slips away and Samir Singh gets on the apron. Rusev kicks him, and much in the same fashion that Jinder won the WWE Title, he takes advantage and gives Rusev the Khallas to win and take another title from Orton.
My Rating: **1/4
Match 4: Mixed Tag Team Match - Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey def. Triple H & Stephanie McMahon (20:40)
Ronda, oh Ronda. Where did you go wrong? Her career had such a promising start because this match ruled. I remember at the time thinking this match was gonna suck. Ronda was new to wrestling, HHH and Angle were past their primes and Stephanie wasn’t a wrestler at all. I was very pleasantly surprised by the end of this match. Match starts with Angle and HHH. HHH and Steph isolate Kurt by cheating. And they really make you wait for that Ronda hot tag, to build it up. Angle reverses an irish whip into the corner and Triple H goes over them to the floor. Kurt tags Ronda in and she pretty much sprints over and brings Stephanie into the ring, lighting her up with punches to the body. As you can expect, Ronda floors Steph. She hits the Pipers Pit, that weird samoan drop move she did and covers Steph. HHH pulls the referee out of the ring to stop it. Then pulls Ronda out of the ring. Kurt goes over to fight with HHH and gets him on the announce table. He looks like he’s about to german Triple H through a table, but HHH shoves Kurt over the table next to the one they’re standing on. He goes to check on Stephanie. But Ronda gets back in the ring and tells HHH to bring it on. HHH smirks and tells the referee to stay out of it. But it doesn’t get the way he thinks it will because she lights him up in the corner, the crowd goes wild. Stephanie saves HHH and slaps Ronda in the face. Ronda chases Steph outside. But Steph shoves Ronda into the ring post. Kurt finally gets back in the ring and continues the match with HHH. He Germans HHH a few times and then gives him an Angle Slam. HHH kicks out and Steph comes back in. She goes to kick him, but Kurt catches her foot and looks around at the crowd who start to go nuts once again. Kurt shrugs his shoulders and puts Steph in the ankle lock, but HHH makes the save and gives Kurt the Pedigree. He makes the cover and Ronda makes the save. HHH teases hitting the Pedigree on Ronda… but since Ronda probably can’t do a hurricanrana from that position yet, he goes for a powerbomb instead so Ronda can reverse it into a hurricanrana. Lol. But god damn this match is chaotic and I love it! Ronda puts HHH in an armbar! And after Steph saves him, Ronda puts her in one and as HHH goes to save her, Kurt catches him and puts him in an Ankle Lock! HHH rolls through to reverse it and Kurt lands on Ronda. HHH says it’s time for Pedigrees. Him and the Mrs. get their opponents in Pedigree positions, but Kurt reverses it and backdrops HHH over the ropes, while Ronda backdrops Steph and rolls into position for an armbar. And put the icing on the cake, Ronda holds Steph’s arm and Steph looks up at her and just says “no, no!” Ronda pulls Steph’s arm back and forces her to tap out! This was one of those matches where every spot was a highlight. And that’s pretty damn impressive. Awesome stuff.
My Rating: ****
Match 5: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match - The Bludgeon Brothers def. The Usos (c) & The New Day (Kofi & Big E.) (5:50)
Just a short match that showcases Harper and Rowan’s dominance more than anything. They bulldoze their opponents and even Xavier who was just minding his own business. Rowan throws him into the ring post to make sure he stays out of the match. The Usos are their bigger competition. They give Harper a double superkick and an Uso Splash, but Harper kicks out. They try a double suicide dive to Rowan, who catches them both by the throats which was sick. But The Usos double suplex him on the outside. Big E. just gets floored by the Super Bludgeon Bros. Rowan gives Kofi a powerbomb. Harper, who’s sitting on the top turnbuckle motions for Rowan to throw Kofi up on his shoulders. Harper powerbombs Kofi from the second rope and they take the titles.
My Rating: **
Match 6: The Undertaker def. John Cena (2:45)
They make sure to tease us a little longer. Elias makes his way out with Cena in the ring instead of Undertaker. He plays a song before Cena gives him his 5 moves of doom. Cena looks dejected and gets halfway up the ramp before the lights go out. Now I’ll give them this. I think this was a genius way to build up this match. They never officially confirmed it for the show because Undertaker never answered Cena’s challenge beforehand. So everyone was like “Undertaker has to show up… right? Right?!” But then again, that was probably just the feeling because we were so used to disappointment with this fucking company. Undertaker comes down to the ring and I have to say, this was one of many matches I was excited about. I was 95% sure Undertaker was gonna wrestle Cena. I was so hyped for this. I wasn’t expecting a classic, but it was more about the moment than anything for me. I was ready. So Undertaker comes in, gets his shit in, beats the hell out of Cena. Cena tries 5 knuckle shuffle, only for Taker to sit up. Undertaker Chokeslams Cena and hits a Tombstone and I was sitting there like “okay, surely he kicks out.” And he didn’t… And then I sat there going “what the fuck.” I was pissed and it still pisses me off. Get me all hyped up for a 2 minute match. Get outta here.
Match 7: Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon def. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (15:25)
I think I nearly cried when Daniel Bryan came out on that stage in his wrestling gear. It was a sight I never thought I’d see again. This of course was Bryan’s return match after being forced into retirement a couple years earlier. And how appropriate for it to be in the same building where Bryan took on Evolution in one night and won! The one thing I didn’t like about this, is the fact that Bryan is out of the match for most of it. Owens and Zayn jump Bryan and Shane from behind. Owens hits Bryan with the powerbomb on the apron. So Bryan is outside with the doctors for half of the match while Owens and Zayn beat on Shane in the ring. Out of the 2 McMahon siblings, I wasn’t expecting Stephanie to have the better match. Shane hits Sami with a coast to coast at some point, but Owens hits Shane with a frog splash and covers him. Bryan makes the save and finally gets on the apron. Shane tags in Bryan and this crowd blows up with Yes chants! Bryan gets in and overwhelms Sami and KO! Bryan plans to use the running knee, but Owens grabs Bryan’s foot which allows Sami to hit the Helluva Kick. Owens gives Bryan a Pop-Up Powerbomb which Bryan kicks out of! Shane takes Kevin to the outside which leaves Bryan and Sami in the ring. Bryan kicks the shit out of him, gives him a running knee and makes him tap out to the Yes Lock! Bryan was back!
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 8: Raw Women’s Championship Match - Nia Jax def. Alexa Bliss (c) (10:15)
Now I didn’t mind this match being on the card. Anytime I can see Alexa is a good time. But why did it need to get 10 minutes? After a while it just starts to drag. Nia takes Mickie out before the bell even rings. Nia starts the match tossing Alexa around like a ragdoll. But after Alexa pokes her in the eye, she starts going after Nia’s knee. I remember this being a squash. Alexa gets more offense in than I remember, including a Twisted Bliss to Nia on the outside. A DDT almost gets Alexa the win. Alexa tries to hit… something off the top rope, but Nia catches her and flings her into the corner. And Nia takes Alexa’s title with a Samoan Drop from the second rope.
My Rating: **
Match 9: WWE Championship Match - AJ Styles (c) def. Shinsuke Nakamura (20:20)
Man… I’ll start off by saying that I had high expectations for this match. I had watched their Wrestle Kingdom match as most of us did and it only reinforces the idea that this match should’ve been a MOTY candidate. But I know, my expectations were too high. That’s on me. This match is still good though, just far from the classic we were expecting. Once this match was over it felt like someone had let the air out of me. The match starts off good. It looked like it was going to be good. Both of them trying to psych each other out. And they hit each other pretty damn hard. The issue with this match I think is that there’s no psychology. They just do all their moves for like 15 minutes and then start to kick into high gear in the final 5. AJ kicks Shinsuke’s knee out from under him and gets him in the Calf Crusher. Nakamura hangs on and manages to reverse it into a triangle choke. But Styles powers Nakamura up onto his shoulders and hits him with a Death Valley Driver. Nakamura attempts the knee in the corner, but AJ moves and Shinsuke slams his knee into the turnbuckle. AJ hits the Forearm for a close 2 count. AJ goes back to the apron and tries a springboard 450, but Shinsuke gets his knees up and tries to pin Styles, who kicks out. And now these 2 start to cook. They land strikes to each other. Styles hits a pale kick, but Nakamura hits a Kinshasa to the back of his head. He slaps AJ in the head a few times and hits an overhead suplex and goes for one more Kinshasa. But AJ reverses the attempted knee into a Styles Clash position which actually makes the crowd pop. Styles wins after a disappointing match. Not even a bad match.
My Rating: ***1/2
After the match, Nakamura presents the title to AJ and low blows him, which begins his gimmick of ball destroyer which we all remember and love. He kicks the hell out of AJ and gives him a Kinshasa after the match is over.
Match 10: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - Braun Strowman & Nicholas def. The Bar (c) (4:00)
The whole build up to this match is “who is Braun Strowman’s partner?” I was genuinely wondering who it could possibly be. Braun has made enemies with the whole locker room so who would wanna team up with him. Little did I know that it wouldn’t be a wrestler at all. Braun goes into the crowd and picks a kid out of his seat named Nicholas. So Braun does pretty much all the work because… yeah duh. The Bar are able to get their shots on him after a double suplex. Cesaro and Sheamus bring the big man to his knees. Braun backdrops Sheamus over the top rope and makes the hot tag to Nicholas. Cesaro stares a hole through this kid and in my head I’m like. “Please swing him. Please, please swing him.” Sorry, not sorry. Nicholas quickly tags Braun back in. Cesaro springboards off the middle rope, going for a spinning uppercut, but Braun catches him and drops him with a powerslam. I remember a lot of people being pissed about this. I can get why, but I don’t care enough to be mad if I’m being honest.
My Rating: *
Main Event: Universal Championship Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. Roman Reigns (15:55)
Wow… this was rough. In more ways than one actually. Its still baffling how they thought they were gonna get away with this. The crowd already did not care about this match. I’ll cut them a little slack and say it isn’t as bad as the cagematch rating suggests. And I think they actually had a chance to win over the crowd at one point as the match was actually going pretty well. Brock dominates most of the match. Roman gets 2 Spears on Brock. The point of the no return occurs when they have Roman kick out of 3 F5s. Yes, 3. Roman kicked out of 3 F5s in a row. That’s where they fucked up. Because 3 F5s is what broke The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak. 3 F5s that would’ve finished off anybody else. But not Roman Reigns, the powerful big dog himself! I really don’t know what they were expecting. That all of a sudden because Roman kicked out of 3 finishers that the people would get behind him as if they didn’t see through this shit. Brock tosses Roman outside and F5s him through the announce table. That’s 4 F5s. Brock tosses Roman back in the ring and F5s him again. This has to be it. 1, 2.. Kick out! Okay, what the fuck. 5 F5s and Roman still kicked out. The crowd is booing all this by the way. And I heard a “this is awful” chant at one point. Brock elbows Roman in the head, busting him open like he did to Orton at SummerSlam. And Roman bleeds badly here. And admittedly, he looked sick as hell with his own blood running down his face. He hits another Spear on Brock and tries ending it with another, but Brock catches him and drops him with a SIXTH F5! 1, 2… kick ou- nah I’m kidding that’s it. Wow. What a disaster this was to watch. I don’t think I’ve seen a cringier match in my life. Botchy matches at least are an honest mistake. This was all planned and designed to get Roman cheered. Yeah, how did that work out for ya?
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 5.99
My Rating: 8/10
As a man who watched WrestleMania 11, 9 and 4 from start to finish, I find it comical when I see people call this the worst WrestleMania of all time. You haven’t been through the trenches my friend. I honestly thought this WrestleMania was really good. Is it perfect? Fuck no it isn’t. And that’s the reason it doesn’t have a higher rating from me, because of its stumbles. But this Mania had plenty of good things on it too. I don’t think it deserves the hate it receives.
Our next show comes from 1992. The first of the series actually. Survivor Series.
