.....Hi.
EVERYONES SEGMENT
Kurt Angle shows up with the entire roster standing on stage like idiots. He apologises that he let his friendship blind him from Shane’s ulterior motives which makes….STEPHANIE COME OUT?! NO! NO! I HATE THIS! THEY’RE MAKING IT MCMAHON VS MCMAHON AGAIN! PUSHING THEMSELVES TO THE FRONT SO THEY GET ALL THE ATTENTION, THIS IS LEGIT BOLDSHIT! WHY!? THIS IS WHY I NORMALLY WATCH YOU ON A PPV-ONLY ROUTINE WWE! Stephanie is still a biatch as she just blames Angle for everything then talks about HOW SHANE USED TO PICK ON HER THEIR ENTIRE LIVES! OH GOD WHY!? WHY!? WWE WHY?! I’M ABOUT TO PULL A [HASHTAG]#IGNORESTEPH[/HASHTAG] UP IN HERE! She names Angle the captain of the raw team, ANGLE SHOULD NOT BE WRESTING DID YOU SEE HIM AT TLC, WWE? DID YOU?! He didn’t do shit!
GET OUT STEPHANIE YOU BIATCH!
Steph leaves, Miz arrives. Angle books Mikey in a match against a mystery opponent. OH BOY!
Bayley vs Alici- NIA JAX?! What?
It’s supposed to be Bay-Bay the wrestler against Jacob Fox the wrestler but Fox says nah and brings Nia instead to take her place…. cause she has the authority to do that? Huh? I am madder than I thought I would be today. Anyway so Bayley gets in a few shots before Jax tosses her out of the ring. The Hugger gets back in and dropkicks Nia off the apron as we head to a break. We return to see Jax holding Bayley with a headlock. She throws Bayley across the ring and crushes her in the corner. She sets up Bayley in the corner, but The Hugger kicks out her legs and knocks her over the top rope to the floor. She dives off the apron to take Jax down. Nia takes a hard knee to the head and a neckbreaker through the ropes for a two count. Bayley locks in the guillotine, but Jax counters and drops her on her face. Jax hits a rolling tackle and a leg drop for the pin and the win. She looked good in that match. She seemed quicker than usual. Fox tells Jax she has made the Survivor Series team…..Okay, I didn’t have Jax on my poster so that’s a bad thing. XD
JOE JOE JOE JOE!
Samoa Joe returns as the heel that he is then kills Apollo Crews. Then Titus comes down and is also killed by Samoa Joe. YAY!
THE MYSTERY IS REVEALED!
The Miz’s mystery opponent is revealed to be….matt hardy. Huh? Couldn’t have just announced it was Matt because that surprise is disappointing as hell. You could have brought Joe out like this! Then let Miz win by countout. That makes sense! So Matt gets a few near falls in the first few minutes, but Miz eventually finds a way to send him out of the ring. The Miztourage almost get involved, but Matt is able to get back in the ring before they can do anything. We return to see Matt still firmly in control. The Miz sidesteps him in the corner and puts him on the top turnbuckle. Hardy hits a few elbows before Miz crotches him on the rope and hits a hanging neckbreaker for a near fall. Miz hits a back/neckbreaker combo for another two count. He slingshots Matt's neck into the middle rope after Dallas takes a cheap shot behind the ref's back. A running knee to the face scores the champ a one count. Hardy avoids a corner clothesline and starts to make a comeback. An elbow from the middle rope gets him a quick two count. They each counter finishers before Hardy hits a Side Effect for another near fall. Matt climbs up for a moonsault from the top rope for yet another near fall. Miz lays in with the It Kicks, but he misses the last one and eats a Twist of Fate. Miz rolls out to the apron to avoid the pin. Hardy gets hung up on the top rope and hit with a Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the win.
Asuka kills someone and main event is said.
I’ll just throw these together cause why not? Asuka kills someone. I think she might have been from the Mae Young Classic but I don’t know so that person’s dead now. Oh and Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James for the womens title is a thing. I’m sure this just happened at TLC…..
YOU YES! YES SUCK! YOU YES! YES SUCK! I’m freaking insane.
Angle is going crazy cause he thinks that Smackdowns gonna invade again and Daniel Bryan shows up. That ain’t gonna calm Angle down, man. My boy D-Bry tries to apologise but Angle ain’t having it and am I watching Desperate Housewifes? I don’t know. Anyway next segment, DB gets locked up in a office and Kane kills him. Woops. Anyone else getting Heinrench flashbacks?
A MATCH THAT SHOULDN’T SUCK
As much as I hate Balor, he gains a bit of my respect for his match against AJ. A tiny bit. Booker just said that Bryan got what he deserved…what? Shut up Booker. So it’s Balor and Cesaro. Cesaro backs Balor to the corner and makes a clean break. Balor turns the tables with a headlock takeover. After a nice exchange, Cesaro hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He follows up with an uppercut in the corner. Balor fires back with some rights to the head and body, but one big shot from Cesaro puts him back down. The Swiss Superman gets sent out of the ring and kicked in the face. Finn gets tripped up by Sheamus, allowing Cesaro to knock him off the apron as we head to a break. We return to see Cesaro propel Balor into the air for a vicious uppercut to score a two count. Finn blocks a Sharpshooter and a big swing, but Cesaro is able to hang him up on the top rope. Cesaro goes to the corner for a deadlift superplex from the middle rope while Balor is on the apron. He locks Finn in the Sharpshooter while Sheamus taunts him. Cesaro transitions into a crossface, but Balor counters out and hits a double stomp. Balor climbs to the top rope, but has to get down to kick Sheamus off the apron. He backdrops Cesaro out of the ring and takes out both members of The Bar with a flip over the top rope. He sets up for the Coup de Grace and hits it to the back of the neck for the pin and the win. Then Kane comes out and tombstones Balor onto the stage, lol.
Remember when Rollins used to be called Tyler Black. What a generic name, I can name 3 wrestlers that have the same last name.
Seth and Dean show up through the crowd because nostalgia. Seth gets in the first shot with a big right to the face, but Kane responds with an uppercut before sending him out of the ring with a clothesline. He whips the Kingslayer toward the steps, but Rollins jumps up and gets back in the ring. He tries to hit a suicide dive, but he runs right into Kane's fist. The Big Red Monster decimates Rollins as The Bar watches form the aisle and Ambrose watches from ringside. Seth tries to make a comeback until one stiff punch puts him down. Kane hits a series of signature moves for a near fall. Rollins recovers and nails a blockbuster from the top rope for a two count. He takes out Kane with a pair suicide dives, but he takes a bad spill on the second one. Rollins hits a pair of springboard clotheslines, but Kane won't go down. Rollins takes out The Bar when they attack Ambrose, and then he jumps right back into a Chokeslam to give Kane the win. Dean runs in and with the help of the bar, Kane also kill Ambrose. The stereotypical IWC are going crazy that Kane is killing all of their loved ones.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS
Bryan’s being carted off cause he’s dead…How will Total Divas/Bellas deal with this, I wonder? Also Miz and Kane are not partners and Miz is scared of BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUN. Next!
TREAT OR TRICK STREET FIG- Wait….wut?
NOW THESE ARE THE LEGENDS I’M TALKING ABOUT! Chad 2 Badd and Tex Ferguson have finally debuted in a WWE ring and the crowd has gone crazy! And its no dq so Slater/Rhino are gonna die! WOOOOO! This is a Trick or Street Fight, so it will be a little chaotic. The fight immediately spills out of the ring and the props at ringside get involved. They force Slater to bob for apples until Rhyno puts a pumpkin on Gallows' head. Slater puts one on Anderson and they are rammed into each other to smash the pumpkins. This is little more than a comedy segment at this point. Kendo sticks are brought into play, and so is a foam tombstone. Rhyno smashes Gallows with a pie to the face. Anderson and Gallows set up a table. Slater unleashes a flurry of kendo stick shots before Gallows nails a superkick. Rhyno puts Anderson through a table to win the match while Gallows jokingly wears a pumpkin that blocks his vision. What did we just watch?.....Well that was a less than stellar debut for my boys. WHAT HAPPENED!? THIS IS THE STING SHIT ALL OVER AGAIN! WWE putting their own guys over the great slightly old workers of Southpaw and it’s a travesty! They shouldn’t be treated like this dammit! Bullshit!
Miz is still screwed as Cesaro & Sheamus reject him. I wonder if Braun will show up….hmmmmmmmm.
Elias is here!
ONE OF MY FAVOURITES IS HERE! GO ELIAS! He sings stuff bout Jordan who interrupts hi- again!? Jordan, just let the man sing! I wanna hear him sing, I don’t want to hear your family guy gag ripoff talking and smashing the gut- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE GUTAIR! WHY IS EVERYTHING I LIKE DYING!? WHYYYYY!?
The Miz tries to leave early and fails.
Do you care?
I can’t take much more of this emotional backlash so Enzo comes out to annoy me. Atleast it helps that Gulak is with him. Anyway the match. Kalisto ducks a punch, but Gulak nails him with the second punch to the body. He runs into Kalisto's boot and gets hit with a twisting elbow from the middle rope. Kalisto continues to build momentum with a spikerana before finishing the match with the Salida Del Sol. Amore immediately comes in and hits his falling boot to the face to take out his nemesis….Cruiserweight stuff which is S-O-F-T! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOFT!
If Bliss loses, I might have a heart attack from the emotional pain.
I think Bliss is chucky but I'm unsure. Bliss takes control early and stomps Mickie into the corner. James bounces back and dropkicks Bliss out of the ring as we head to a break. We return to see Alexa in control. James gets taken down by a clothesline for a two count. After a long rest hold, James breaks free. Bliss nails a forearm to the face before slamming James' head into the mat for a near fall. Mickie starts building up a head of steam with a series of quick moves. Alexa gets planted with a flapjack before James climbs to the top rope. Alexa takes her down with a snapmare from the top turnbuckle. James kicks Alexa right off the top turnbuckle to knock her down to the floor. They trade near falls until Bliss nails James with a hard right hand to end the match with a three count. Kind of an abrupt ending BUT THANK GOD BLISS DIDN'T LOSE THE TITLE!....Grievous is gonna moan about this isn't he? That shall be fun. I think I still need to respond to his pm from two days ago...huh.
BRAUN IS MICHAEL MYERS CONFIRMED!
Braun climbs out of a garbage truck and chases miz and ends up destroying Miztourage and brutally murdering Curtis Axel. that's all we need to know. Also Braun vs Miz? That's the feud they're doing? Really? Really? Really? Okay then...I'm out!
Kurt Angle shows up with the entire roster standing on stage like idiots. He apologises that he let his friendship blind him from Shane’s ulterior motives which makes….STEPHANIE COME OUT?! NO! NO! I HATE THIS! THEY’RE MAKING IT MCMAHON VS MCMAHON AGAIN! PUSHING THEMSELVES TO THE FRONT SO THEY GET ALL THE ATTENTION, THIS IS LEGIT BOLDSHIT! WHY!? THIS IS WHY I NORMALLY WATCH YOU ON A PPV-ONLY ROUTINE WWE! Stephanie is still a biatch as she just blames Angle for everything then talks about HOW SHANE USED TO PICK ON HER THEIR ENTIRE LIVES! OH GOD WHY!? WHY!? WWE WHY?! I’M ABOUT TO PULL A [HASHTAG]#IGNORESTEPH[/HASHTAG] UP IN HERE! She names Angle the captain of the raw team, ANGLE SHOULD NOT BE WRESTING DID YOU SEE HIM AT TLC, WWE? DID YOU?! He didn’t do shit!
GET OUT STEPHANIE YOU BIATCH!
Steph leaves, Miz arrives. Angle books Mikey in a match against a mystery opponent. OH BOY!
Bayley vs Alici- NIA JAX?! What?
It’s supposed to be Bay-Bay the wrestler against Jacob Fox the wrestler but Fox says nah and brings Nia instead to take her place…. cause she has the authority to do that? Huh? I am madder than I thought I would be today. Anyway so Bayley gets in a few shots before Jax tosses her out of the ring. The Hugger gets back in and dropkicks Nia off the apron as we head to a break. We return to see Jax holding Bayley with a headlock. She throws Bayley across the ring and crushes her in the corner. She sets up Bayley in the corner, but The Hugger kicks out her legs and knocks her over the top rope to the floor. She dives off the apron to take Jax down. Nia takes a hard knee to the head and a neckbreaker through the ropes for a two count. Bayley locks in the guillotine, but Jax counters and drops her on her face. Jax hits a rolling tackle and a leg drop for the pin and the win. She looked good in that match. She seemed quicker than usual. Fox tells Jax she has made the Survivor Series team…..Okay, I didn’t have Jax on my poster so that’s a bad thing. XD
JOE JOE JOE JOE!
Samoa Joe returns as the heel that he is then kills Apollo Crews. Then Titus comes down and is also killed by Samoa Joe. YAY!
THE MYSTERY IS REVEALED!
The Miz’s mystery opponent is revealed to be….matt hardy. Huh? Couldn’t have just announced it was Matt because that surprise is disappointing as hell. You could have brought Joe out like this! Then let Miz win by countout. That makes sense! So Matt gets a few near falls in the first few minutes, but Miz eventually finds a way to send him out of the ring. The Miztourage almost get involved, but Matt is able to get back in the ring before they can do anything. We return to see Matt still firmly in control. The Miz sidesteps him in the corner and puts him on the top turnbuckle. Hardy hits a few elbows before Miz crotches him on the rope and hits a hanging neckbreaker for a near fall. Miz hits a back/neckbreaker combo for another two count. He slingshots Matt's neck into the middle rope after Dallas takes a cheap shot behind the ref's back. A running knee to the face scores the champ a one count. Hardy avoids a corner clothesline and starts to make a comeback. An elbow from the middle rope gets him a quick two count. They each counter finishers before Hardy hits a Side Effect for another near fall. Matt climbs up for a moonsault from the top rope for yet another near fall. Miz lays in with the It Kicks, but he misses the last one and eats a Twist of Fate. Miz rolls out to the apron to avoid the pin. Hardy gets hung up on the top rope and hit with a Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the win.
Asuka kills someone and main event is said.
I’ll just throw these together cause why not? Asuka kills someone. I think she might have been from the Mae Young Classic but I don’t know so that person’s dead now. Oh and Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James for the womens title is a thing. I’m sure this just happened at TLC…..
YOU YES! YES SUCK! YOU YES! YES SUCK! I’m freaking insane.
Angle is going crazy cause he thinks that Smackdowns gonna invade again and Daniel Bryan shows up. That ain’t gonna calm Angle down, man. My boy D-Bry tries to apologise but Angle ain’t having it and am I watching Desperate Housewifes? I don’t know. Anyway next segment, DB gets locked up in a office and Kane kills him. Woops. Anyone else getting Heinrench flashbacks?
A MATCH THAT SHOULDN’T SUCK
As much as I hate Balor, he gains a bit of my respect for his match against AJ. A tiny bit. Booker just said that Bryan got what he deserved…what? Shut up Booker. So it’s Balor and Cesaro. Cesaro backs Balor to the corner and makes a clean break. Balor turns the tables with a headlock takeover. After a nice exchange, Cesaro hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He follows up with an uppercut in the corner. Balor fires back with some rights to the head and body, but one big shot from Cesaro puts him back down. The Swiss Superman gets sent out of the ring and kicked in the face. Finn gets tripped up by Sheamus, allowing Cesaro to knock him off the apron as we head to a break. We return to see Cesaro propel Balor into the air for a vicious uppercut to score a two count. Finn blocks a Sharpshooter and a big swing, but Cesaro is able to hang him up on the top rope. Cesaro goes to the corner for a deadlift superplex from the middle rope while Balor is on the apron. He locks Finn in the Sharpshooter while Sheamus taunts him. Cesaro transitions into a crossface, but Balor counters out and hits a double stomp. Balor climbs to the top rope, but has to get down to kick Sheamus off the apron. He backdrops Cesaro out of the ring and takes out both members of The Bar with a flip over the top rope. He sets up for the Coup de Grace and hits it to the back of the neck for the pin and the win. Then Kane comes out and tombstones Balor onto the stage, lol.
Remember when Rollins used to be called Tyler Black. What a generic name, I can name 3 wrestlers that have the same last name.
Seth and Dean show up through the crowd because nostalgia. Seth gets in the first shot with a big right to the face, but Kane responds with an uppercut before sending him out of the ring with a clothesline. He whips the Kingslayer toward the steps, but Rollins jumps up and gets back in the ring. He tries to hit a suicide dive, but he runs right into Kane's fist. The Big Red Monster decimates Rollins as The Bar watches form the aisle and Ambrose watches from ringside. Seth tries to make a comeback until one stiff punch puts him down. Kane hits a series of signature moves for a near fall. Rollins recovers and nails a blockbuster from the top rope for a two count. He takes out Kane with a pair suicide dives, but he takes a bad spill on the second one. Rollins hits a pair of springboard clotheslines, but Kane won't go down. Rollins takes out The Bar when they attack Ambrose, and then he jumps right back into a Chokeslam to give Kane the win. Dean runs in and with the help of the bar, Kane also kill Ambrose. The stereotypical IWC are going crazy that Kane is killing all of their loved ones.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS
Bryan’s being carted off cause he’s dead…How will Total Divas/Bellas deal with this, I wonder? Also Miz and Kane are not partners and Miz is scared of BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUN. Next!
TREAT OR TRICK STREET FIG- Wait….wut?
NOW THESE ARE THE LEGENDS I’M TALKING ABOUT! Chad 2 Badd and Tex Ferguson have finally debuted in a WWE ring and the crowd has gone crazy! And its no dq so Slater/Rhino are gonna die! WOOOOO! This is a Trick or Street Fight, so it will be a little chaotic. The fight immediately spills out of the ring and the props at ringside get involved. They force Slater to bob for apples until Rhyno puts a pumpkin on Gallows' head. Slater puts one on Anderson and they are rammed into each other to smash the pumpkins. This is little more than a comedy segment at this point. Kendo sticks are brought into play, and so is a foam tombstone. Rhyno smashes Gallows with a pie to the face. Anderson and Gallows set up a table. Slater unleashes a flurry of kendo stick shots before Gallows nails a superkick. Rhyno puts Anderson through a table to win the match while Gallows jokingly wears a pumpkin that blocks his vision. What did we just watch?.....Well that was a less than stellar debut for my boys. WHAT HAPPENED!? THIS IS THE STING SHIT ALL OVER AGAIN! WWE putting their own guys over the great slightly old workers of Southpaw and it’s a travesty! They shouldn’t be treated like this dammit! Bullshit!
Miz is still screwed as Cesaro & Sheamus reject him. I wonder if Braun will show up….hmmmmmmmm.
Elias is here!
ONE OF MY FAVOURITES IS HERE! GO ELIAS! He sings stuff bout Jordan who interrupts hi- again!? Jordan, just let the man sing! I wanna hear him sing, I don’t want to hear your family guy gag ripoff talking and smashing the gut- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE GUTAIR! WHY IS EVERYTHING I LIKE DYING!? WHYYYYY!?
The Miz tries to leave early and fails.
Do you care?
I can’t take much more of this emotional backlash so Enzo comes out to annoy me. Atleast it helps that Gulak is with him. Anyway the match. Kalisto ducks a punch, but Gulak nails him with the second punch to the body. He runs into Kalisto's boot and gets hit with a twisting elbow from the middle rope. Kalisto continues to build momentum with a spikerana before finishing the match with the Salida Del Sol. Amore immediately comes in and hits his falling boot to the face to take out his nemesis….Cruiserweight stuff which is S-O-F-T! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOFT!
If Bliss loses, I might have a heart attack from the emotional pain.
I think Bliss is chucky but I'm unsure. Bliss takes control early and stomps Mickie into the corner. James bounces back and dropkicks Bliss out of the ring as we head to a break. We return to see Alexa in control. James gets taken down by a clothesline for a two count. After a long rest hold, James breaks free. Bliss nails a forearm to the face before slamming James' head into the mat for a near fall. Mickie starts building up a head of steam with a series of quick moves. Alexa gets planted with a flapjack before James climbs to the top rope. Alexa takes her down with a snapmare from the top turnbuckle. James kicks Alexa right off the top turnbuckle to knock her down to the floor. They trade near falls until Bliss nails James with a hard right hand to end the match with a three count. Kind of an abrupt ending BUT THANK GOD BLISS DIDN'T LOSE THE TITLE!....Grievous is gonna moan about this isn't he? That shall be fun. I think I still need to respond to his pm from two days ago...huh.
BRAUN IS MICHAEL MYERS CONFIRMED!
Braun climbs out of a garbage truck and chases miz and ends up destroying Miztourage and brutally murdering Curtis Axel. that's all we need to know. Also Braun vs Miz? That's the feud they're doing? Really? Really? Really? Okay then...I'm out!
