First off why does Jacob have to do the rate titles the American way when I'm British....Come on, man. I have to reverse my own date here. Anyway rate this episode of RAW or a cat dies. Not kidding. I'm ready to kill some cats. Also discuss stuff about it.
That guy who's going nowhere after this rivalry segment
Enzo kicks off the show to a huge pop from the crowd and chants of Enzo when he gets in the ring. He talks about Big Cass turning on him after he has been beat up by everyone else over the past year in hotel rooms and backstage and he talks about Cass killing the part of him that trusts other people and says all eyes are on him now. oooooooooooooooooooooh.
THAT GUY WHO MIGHT GO SOMEWHERE AFTER THIS RIVALRY SEGMENT
We see Cass watching from backstage and Charly walks up and asks for a reaction. He says Enzo talks without actually saying anything and he won't be walking after Sunday. While Cass is talking, Enzo comes out of nowhere and jumps him from behind. It takes several people to break them up. Enzo just made this the most interesting storyline on Raw, Damn. I'm more hyped for a Enzo & Cass feud than any of the feuds of SD Live at the minute. Think about that for a second
Feel like this isn't the first time this match has happened. Grievous gonna be pissed.
During the tag match between Nia Jax & Bliss vs Bayley and Sasha Banks, Nia Jax drives Bayley off the apron into the barricade and follows up with a running knee but even though it was kind of a handicap match. Sasha Banks makes Alexa Bliss tap out to the bank statement. Their booking of Bayley confuses me. MAKE HER A UNDERDOG! WHY NOT HAVE BAYLEY COME BACK FROM THAT?! HUH?!
JOE TRYING TO KILL LESNAR! JOE TRYING TO KILL LESNAR!
A recap of their feud aired between quotes from the two warriors. The Destroyer talked about what he envisioned as his destiny. Lesnar said he was ready to kicks Joe's ass. FIGHTING TALK. The champion and challenger later sat in on a live split-screen interview together where Joe ripped off his earpiece and went hunting after Lesnar. Security swarmed him before he could find the champ
Who are this little people who you call "cruiserweights"?
Alicia Fox returned. That's all you really need to know about this bit. But if you insist,
Cedric Alexander demanded Noam Dar come out and end this feud. Alicia Fox accompanied Dar who found himself in trouble in the early going. Fox had to get in Alexander's way to slow him down. It didn't matter. At all. Alexander hit the Lumbar Check for the three-count.
A another feud I actually like! And this time with Heath Slater thrown in!
With The Miztourage and Maryse at his side, The Miz angrily recalled his interview with Lonzo and LaVar Ball last week. He called LaVar a madman and Lonzo a bust. He deftly shifted to tearing down Dean Ambrose, claiming he caved under the pressure. Ambrose emerged, cracking jokes before threatening the intercontinental champ.
Heath Slater stepped out to express his desire to challenge The Miz. Raw general manager Kurt Angle announced that The Miz would face both Ambrose at Sunday's PPV, but would take on Slater later on Raw. I mean WWE wants moments. I think Slater winning the IC title would be a pretty good moment if you ask me....MAKE ALL OF THE 3MB CHAMPIONS DAMMIT.
MIZ VS SLATER! OPPOSITES CLASH! Also why has the Social Outcasts stable been brushed under the rug?
Ambrose sat in on commentary as Slater challenged for the title. I always enjoy Ambrose on commentary so even though I never saw it. It sounds enjoyable. The Miz struggled with Slater as the challenger outwrestled him early on. Slater flipped The Miz's shirt over his head and pounded him with right hands. The A-Lister recovered and slowed down the bout as his cronies loomed.
When it looked like Slater might get the win, he became distracted by The Miztourage beating up Rhyno at ringside. That allowed The Miz to get a cheap win and take a pounding from Axel and Dallas. WHY HEATH WHY?! Ambrose leaped into the fray only to take a beating of his own. And Axel & Bo are confirmed to be RAW's answer to SD's Singh Brothers!
GOLDUST IS FREAKING GREAT
Goldust welcomed fans to watch his "masterpiece" The Shattered Truth. He trashed R-Truth while playing up his own greatness. A short film aired that showed clips of Goldust thrashing R-Truth to the sounds of classical music. R-Truth appeared behind him in the ring and attacked The Bizarre One. Goldust retreated. If R-Truth doesn't die Sunday...I just don't know.
ROLLINS SQUASH AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE REAGA- I mean Curt Hawkins!?
Curt Hawkins insulted fans for not believing in him. Seth Rollins interrupted him, flooring with a shot to the head before the bell rang. Rollins hit a single move to put away the heel. Was this match needed? No. Was this match just to fill time? Yes. The Kingslayer ranted about Bray Wyatt not being the god he claims to be. He called Wyatt a coward before walking back up the entrance ramp. We already know Wyatt's losing so what's the point anymore?! *cries*
NEVILLES LAST NAME IS LONGBOTTOM
Mustafa Ali had Neville reeling until the champ and scored two incredibly close near-falls, I mean I say close but everyone knew Neville had to win if no distractions were going to happen so.... The King of Cruiserweights swatted his foe off the top rope to slow Ali down. Neville then punished the babyface in the corner. Ali wasn't able to avoid the onslaught and was soon caught in Rings of Saturn. Told ya so. Also Neville's facial impressions are great.
BRAY RANDOMLY SAYING STUFF IN THE DESERT.
So in light of the recent mummy film failing, Bray went to the set of the 2001 movie The Mummy Returns. I hope it is, anyway. Bray Wyatt preached from a desert, talking about chaos and internal fire. Images of scorpions fighting flashed on the screen. And I don't care about this rivalry already He told Seth Rollins that he would realize his power when they met at Great Balls of Fire. Are Maggots show up on the ring canvas again? Cause if they ain't I'm not interested.
DEMONS VS SWISS PEOPLE
Angle told the champs backstage that Sheamus and Cesaro would face Matt and Jeff Hardy in a 30-minute Iron Match at Great Balls of Fire. Because we are just giving out these Iron Man matches out everywhere. Bet ya there'll be a ppv named after it in the next 5 years. Watch. The Hardy Boyz joined the commentary team to watch Finn Balor take on Cesaro.
The King of Swing managed to briefly ground Balor. The Irishman, though, slugged it out with his foe to battle back. Elias Samson's presence distracted Balor. The Drifter took a cheap shot, inspiring The Hardy Boyz to come down to the ring with their fists swinging. Balor emerged from the chaos, hit Coup De Grace and got the win.
BRAUN VS A CRUISERWEIGHT. I feel like this should be every main event of RAW. Give Braun the Cruiserweight championship and watch the magic happen!
Backstage, Strowman demanded more competition after hearing Reigns wasn't at Raw. Elsewhere, Titus O'Neil convinced Apollo Crews to fight The Monster Among Men. Because The Titus Brand need tv time. Strowman paced in the ring before he talked about his much hatred for Reigns. He promised The Big Dog would end up in the ambulance at Great Balls of Fire. Sorry, I meant The Big DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG.
Strowman dominated Crews. That's the entire match. O'Neil tried to fight the big man; Strowman mauled him, too. Strowman is like Vince in some ways. Hates skinny and small guys and have addictions with Roman Reigns. Maybe when Reigns goes to crawl away from Vince's bed, Vince screams "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!" This is now giving me creepy thoughts. Ew. Moving on.
Strowman dragged Crews into an ambulance and shut the doors. The driver didn't pull away as instructed. Reigns revealed himself to be in the cab driver. And the crowd booed. Cause it's Roman Reigns. But then he just casually SPEARED BRAUN OFF THE STAGE SMACKDOWN VS RAW STORY DESIGNED STYLE! OMGGGGGG!
Enzo kicks off the show to a huge pop from the crowd and chants of Enzo when he gets in the ring. He talks about Big Cass turning on him after he has been beat up by everyone else over the past year in hotel rooms and backstage and he talks about Cass killing the part of him that trusts other people and says all eyes are on him now. oooooooooooooooooooooh.
THAT GUY WHO MIGHT GO SOMEWHERE AFTER THIS RIVALRY SEGMENT
We see Cass watching from backstage and Charly walks up and asks for a reaction. He says Enzo talks without actually saying anything and he won't be walking after Sunday. While Cass is talking, Enzo comes out of nowhere and jumps him from behind. It takes several people to break them up. Enzo just made this the most interesting storyline on Raw, Damn. I'm more hyped for a Enzo & Cass feud than any of the feuds of SD Live at the minute. Think about that for a second
Feel like this isn't the first time this match has happened. Grievous gonna be pissed.
During the tag match between Nia Jax & Bliss vs Bayley and Sasha Banks, Nia Jax drives Bayley off the apron into the barricade and follows up with a running knee but even though it was kind of a handicap match. Sasha Banks makes Alexa Bliss tap out to the bank statement. Their booking of Bayley confuses me. MAKE HER A UNDERDOG! WHY NOT HAVE BAYLEY COME BACK FROM THAT?! HUH?!
JOE TRYING TO KILL LESNAR! JOE TRYING TO KILL LESNAR!
A recap of their feud aired between quotes from the two warriors. The Destroyer talked about what he envisioned as his destiny. Lesnar said he was ready to kicks Joe's ass. FIGHTING TALK. The champion and challenger later sat in on a live split-screen interview together where Joe ripped off his earpiece and went hunting after Lesnar. Security swarmed him before he could find the champ
Who are this little people who you call "cruiserweights"?
Alicia Fox returned. That's all you really need to know about this bit. But if you insist,
Cedric Alexander demanded Noam Dar come out and end this feud. Alicia Fox accompanied Dar who found himself in trouble in the early going. Fox had to get in Alexander's way to slow him down. It didn't matter. At all. Alexander hit the Lumbar Check for the three-count.
A another feud I actually like! And this time with Heath Slater thrown in!
With The Miztourage and Maryse at his side, The Miz angrily recalled his interview with Lonzo and LaVar Ball last week. He called LaVar a madman and Lonzo a bust. He deftly shifted to tearing down Dean Ambrose, claiming he caved under the pressure. Ambrose emerged, cracking jokes before threatening the intercontinental champ.
Heath Slater stepped out to express his desire to challenge The Miz. Raw general manager Kurt Angle announced that The Miz would face both Ambrose at Sunday's PPV, but would take on Slater later on Raw. I mean WWE wants moments. I think Slater winning the IC title would be a pretty good moment if you ask me....MAKE ALL OF THE 3MB CHAMPIONS DAMMIT.
MIZ VS SLATER! OPPOSITES CLASH! Also why has the Social Outcasts stable been brushed under the rug?
Ambrose sat in on commentary as Slater challenged for the title. I always enjoy Ambrose on commentary so even though I never saw it. It sounds enjoyable. The Miz struggled with Slater as the challenger outwrestled him early on. Slater flipped The Miz's shirt over his head and pounded him with right hands. The A-Lister recovered and slowed down the bout as his cronies loomed.
When it looked like Slater might get the win, he became distracted by The Miztourage beating up Rhyno at ringside. That allowed The Miz to get a cheap win and take a pounding from Axel and Dallas. WHY HEATH WHY?! Ambrose leaped into the fray only to take a beating of his own. And Axel & Bo are confirmed to be RAW's answer to SD's Singh Brothers!
GOLDUST IS FREAKING GREAT
Goldust welcomed fans to watch his "masterpiece" The Shattered Truth. He trashed R-Truth while playing up his own greatness. A short film aired that showed clips of Goldust thrashing R-Truth to the sounds of classical music. R-Truth appeared behind him in the ring and attacked The Bizarre One. Goldust retreated. If R-Truth doesn't die Sunday...I just don't know.
ROLLINS SQUASH AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE REAGA- I mean Curt Hawkins!?
Curt Hawkins insulted fans for not believing in him. Seth Rollins interrupted him, flooring with a shot to the head before the bell rang. Rollins hit a single move to put away the heel. Was this match needed? No. Was this match just to fill time? Yes. The Kingslayer ranted about Bray Wyatt not being the god he claims to be. He called Wyatt a coward before walking back up the entrance ramp. We already know Wyatt's losing so what's the point anymore?! *cries*
NEVILLES LAST NAME IS LONGBOTTOM
Mustafa Ali had Neville reeling until the champ and scored two incredibly close near-falls, I mean I say close but everyone knew Neville had to win if no distractions were going to happen so.... The King of Cruiserweights swatted his foe off the top rope to slow Ali down. Neville then punished the babyface in the corner. Ali wasn't able to avoid the onslaught and was soon caught in Rings of Saturn. Told ya so. Also Neville's facial impressions are great.
BRAY RANDOMLY SAYING STUFF IN THE DESERT.
So in light of the recent mummy film failing, Bray went to the set of the 2001 movie The Mummy Returns. I hope it is, anyway. Bray Wyatt preached from a desert, talking about chaos and internal fire. Images of scorpions fighting flashed on the screen. And I don't care about this rivalry already He told Seth Rollins that he would realize his power when they met at Great Balls of Fire. Are Maggots show up on the ring canvas again? Cause if they ain't I'm not interested.
DEMONS VS SWISS PEOPLE
Angle told the champs backstage that Sheamus and Cesaro would face Matt and Jeff Hardy in a 30-minute Iron Match at Great Balls of Fire. Because we are just giving out these Iron Man matches out everywhere. Bet ya there'll be a ppv named after it in the next 5 years. Watch. The Hardy Boyz joined the commentary team to watch Finn Balor take on Cesaro.
The King of Swing managed to briefly ground Balor. The Irishman, though, slugged it out with his foe to battle back. Elias Samson's presence distracted Balor. The Drifter took a cheap shot, inspiring The Hardy Boyz to come down to the ring with their fists swinging. Balor emerged from the chaos, hit Coup De Grace and got the win.
BRAUN VS A CRUISERWEIGHT. I feel like this should be every main event of RAW. Give Braun the Cruiserweight championship and watch the magic happen!
Backstage, Strowman demanded more competition after hearing Reigns wasn't at Raw. Elsewhere, Titus O'Neil convinced Apollo Crews to fight The Monster Among Men. Because The Titus Brand need tv time. Strowman paced in the ring before he talked about his much hatred for Reigns. He promised The Big Dog would end up in the ambulance at Great Balls of Fire. Sorry, I meant The Big DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG.
Strowman dominated Crews. That's the entire match. O'Neil tried to fight the big man; Strowman mauled him, too. Strowman is like Vince in some ways. Hates skinny and small guys and have addictions with Roman Reigns. Maybe when Reigns goes to crawl away from Vince's bed, Vince screams "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!" This is now giving me creepy thoughts. Ew. Moving on.
Strowman dragged Crews into an ambulance and shut the doors. The driver didn't pull away as instructed. Reigns revealed himself to be in the cab driver. And the crowd booed. Cause it's Roman Reigns. But then he just casually SPEARED BRAUN OFF THE STAGE SMACKDOWN VS RAW STORY DESIGNED STYLE! OMGGGGGG!
