Vlog 47: Never Fly Delta on Your Mom's Birthday
This edition of
Daniel Christian’s long-running vlog series opens with a montage that features him arriving at the arena for
AMA Manifest Destiny, including some very annoyed cameos from
AMA wrestlers that did not consent to be on film. It then shows highlights of
Christian’s performance in the Bunkhouse Stampede cage match, before finally showing the end of
Christian’s night where a fireball was sent into his face from
Norman Namatjira.
We then cut to an airport as
Daniel Christian greets the camera, wearing a makeshift bandage over his left eye.
Daniel Christian:
Hello fans and hate watchers, it is now 3 a.m. after Manifest Destiny for my future binge-watchers that haven’t discovered me yet. As you can see…my eye is fucked thanks to that no-good Norman. And on top of that, I don’t even have a cool eyepatch yet because apparently, that’s not standard inventory at AMA medical. So I’m stuck with THIS monstrosity!
Christian points to the bandage over his eye in a dramatic fashion.
Daniel Christian:
So yeah, not a good time for ya boy right now. And then, just to really complete this weekend of shit, I find out my flight home was canceled. And the next one is in about 8 more hours, and I have to stop in Detroit before I even make it back to Texas. My mom is going to be so mad, I told her I wouldn’t miss another birthday because of wrestling.
Christian goes to continue but is interrupted by a gruff voice near him.
???: Kid will you please shut the fuck up?
Christian pans the camera over to what looks to be an older biker.
Daniel Christian: Oh hey guys, this is Bob. He was supposed to be on my flight too, I think he was at some motorcycle party or something, it’s Florida ya know. Do you like wrestling, Bob?
Bob:
Shut up, kid.
Daniel Christian:
Well oooookay, I think I should try and get some sleep anyway. I’ll see you guys when I land in Detroit I guess.
—------------------------------------------
The vlog comes back in after a title card mentioned “Forever hours later” to see a very tired and annoyed-looking
Daniel Christian.
Daniel Christian:
Hey guys, I’m in Detroit, got frisked, they lost my bag so all I have is my carry-on which thankfully has my camera and all of my vlog equipment in it….and my mom is pissed that I’m not home yet. I hate Detroit.
—-------------------------------------------
Another title card this time saying “several more forever hours later” appears before and we see
Daniel Christian now riding in the passenger seat of a car.
Daniel Christian:
Alright guys, back in Texas. They found my bag too so things are looking up for ya boy now. I got my mom a new blender, she’s gonna love it. I got my homie Bass Fiend here driving me back home now. He’s a local DJ, check him out. His info and socials are in the description.
Christian pans the camera over to show “
Bass Fiend”
Bass Fiend:
Sup
Christian then turns his attention back to speaking to the camera himself
Daniel Christian:
Now this will probably be the last bit of this vlog, and while I was in airplane hell I saw that I got my wish. I’m facing Norman Namatjira at St. Patrick’s Day Slam in a one-on-one match. No fireballs this time, just man to man. My eye might not be all the way healed by then, but hey that’s why we have two of them bitches right? What’s the old saying anyway, an eye-for-an-eye? I’m sure you’re feeling really good about yourself right now Norman, but all that will change once the bell rings and you see why they call me The Future. It’s going to take a lot more than one little fireball to take me out.
Christian gets interrupted before he can continue
Bass Fiend:
Yo man your eye is burned? I thought you were just trying some new edgy look.
Daniel Christian:
“What? No, this looks like shit man. I’m getting an actual eyepatch as soon as I can. Anyway, as I was saying, I received some wise words from the man himself, Buffalo Jones at Manifest Destiny, and now I’m more motivated than ever to conquer you, Norman. You may think you’re the big man on the block, but you might want to start looking for a different career path because think of how bad your stock is going to fall once you lose to a skinny, half-blind kid from Texas. You’re just a stepping stone for The Future becoming The Present.
Bass Fiend:
“Yeah my presence is a present kiss my ass.”
Daniel Christian:
Ah what the fuck man, is that Kanye? If he takes this vlog down then you owe me advertising money.
Bass Fiend:
You would literally still owe me more for gas for picking you up at the airport fuck outta here.
Daniel Christian:
Okay okay we don't need to get everyone in the comments all political about gas prices so on that note, I will see you all next time for a hopefully much happier vlog after I whip that fire-breathing motherfucker’s ass. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and all that mumbo jumbo that you all should have already done by now if you’re still watching. Peace!
