KERRY'S REPORT
Hello, hello, and hello!
For those of you unacquainted, my name is Kerry Buckingham, and I am a journalist. Not only that, I am a two-time runner-up for the Pulitzer prize. I *almost* won it last year, with my piece on Willy and K-Middz, but you know how it is with these things - scandalous, outrageous favouritism! So some fluff piece about property insurance won, instead of my carefully crafted report. Fairly typical, really.
Not that I needed that pittance, anyway - I almost single-handedly made the British edition of "OK!" a weekly bestseller. You see, unlike the gentlemen at the Pulitzer committee, "OK" readers know what constitutes GOOD journalism...
But I digress. You probably want to know why I am here, correct? Well, I happened to find out that I had a rather marked interest in the world of professional wrestling. After all, what's NOT to like about fit hunks with their shirts off? Mmm...
...BUT I digress again. I was telling you, my darlings, that I started off by getting a job at the PWA Magazine, where I was in charge of a column much like this one. That company, surprisingly or not, did not last much longer after *I* exposed the dark secrets of their management... Fortunately for me, my dear friend Johnny....erm, pardon me...*Mr. McHenry* happened to think THIS company's website was in dire need of an upgrade (and dearie me, was it ever! I mean good heavens...!) So he hired me as Editor-In-Chief for the news section of ACW.com, and gave me this little column to play around in! Was he not just a *darling*?!
As such, expect very neutral and unbiased reporting on all the goings-on at ACW over the next few weeks. Regreattably for me, it seems this organisation is low on the eye candy - instead of good looking studs with their tops off, we get monsters, vampires, Multiplexes (I thought a Multiplex was a cinema?! Consider me confused, my darlings) and goodness knows what else!
Not all is lost, though - Edward Snow is an absolute cutie, and Mickey Trix is just *adorable*! Plus there's Damon Pesinger and that other fellow with the impeccable fashion sense, who are not hard on the eyes at all, even if they *do* play for the other team...is that not always the way? I also hear I *just* missed Lord Vycious - a shame! The man is a delight. Oh well, better times will come, Kerry... I also know that insufferable R. J. Mackintosh is here somewhere, which irks me somewhat. Although I must say - I have seen a photograph, and good lord! R. J., these past few months have been kind on you! I mean, *yum*! Call me sometime, darling...
For now, however, the introductions are made. Commencing next week, expect a weekly report from yours truly, with the latest in torrid ACW goss...I mean, the latest in *top-grade investigative reporting*. Until then, follow me on Twitter (@KBux) and send me your fanmail to k-bux@acw.com (or use the site's messaging feature).
Until next time, my darlings!
Ta-ra!
K-Bux
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