In a very genuine opening promo, Edge told us his secret to super fast healing, green tea. I guess Jeff Hardy drinks a lot of that crap then. Edge then says he’s going to beat Taker. Edge, btw, is sporting some cool looking gear. TRL interrupts the proceedings and apologizes for being late. Vickie berates him and then treats him like a dog saying “I want you to go to my office and stay there.†Woof Woof. TRL says he was in Stamford to talk to the WWE Board of Directors about Vickie’s stripping Undertaker of his title. Teddy says he told the board about Edge and Vickie’s relationship and they sent him back with a message. The board is gonna spank Vickie, I like women being spanked. Vickie is told she either has to compete in a match tonight, otherwise she will be fired. Vickie tells TRL she’s ashamed of him for going behind her back and fires him. TRL says he wont be fired, he’s quitting. Before TRL can leave, he mentions in passing that Vickie’s opponent will be “The Undertakerâ€! Ha, good. I hope he snaps her god damned head off.
CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo
Collar and elbow tie up and Chuck starts hammering down on Punk. Side headlock take down and Palumbo is in control. Punk fires back with shots of his own but Chucky stops him with a hard elbow. Palumbo charges Punk but CM lowbridges him and then hits a tope out. Chuck fucking no sells it as he I THE FIRST UP and back in the ring he takes over. Fuck that. This Is good physical match but that was fucking bullshit. Punk comes back with some vicious kick and his knee/bulldog combo for a 2. Holy shit. Spinning heel kick and a springboard clothesline nets another 2. Chuck gets back into it with a stiff as fucking hell clothesline. Punk goes for a GTS but doesn’t work. Palumbo catches a crossbodying CM Punk and hits an SOS slam. Chuck Palumbo goes for the Full Throttle but misses and Punk hits the GTS for the win.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Rating: **1/2
Comments: That would have been a three star match if Chuck didn’t fucking ruin it. What a dick.
In the GMs locker room, MVP, Finlay, and Big Show all come in to gloat and laugh at Vickie. She then reminds them of her POWER and says MVP has to go find a partner, and they will take on Finlay and The Big Show. I like it.
Leyla vs. Michelle McCool
We get some brawling to start out followed by a slingshot on Leyla. Drop toe hold by McCool who then locks in an Indian Death Lock but Leyla manages to get a headlock on. Knee breaker a la Flair and shes back to work on the leg. I think Michelle has been being schooled by The Undertaker. Its showing. McCool locks in a modified ankle lock for the win.
Winner: Michelle McCool
Match Rating: **
Batista comes out and says he will be at Judgment Day O_O
The Big Show and Finlay vs. MVP and Mark Henry
Finlay and MVP start out and we get some chain wrestling to start out. The two jock for the advantage and Finlay tags out. MVP tries one punch and it isn’t enough. Meezark and Show circle and get into a power battle. Henry can NOT take down Show after trying everything he can and tags out. Show takes over and tags in Finlay. The Irishman comes in and just hammers on MVP with everything he’s got. Finlay goes to the ropes, HA. A huge boot and Finlay topples to the floor. MVP takes over and grinds down Finlay. Henry tags in and just dominates Finlay with some of the most brutal offense seen in a while MVP is back in and the people are BEGGING show to get in. Show is denting the steel stairs on the outside keeping the crowd in it. Show gets the hot tag but Mark Henry jumps him from behind. Finlay takes out Henry and MVP receives a chokeslam.
Winners: Finlay and The Big Show
Match Rating: **3/4
Vickie changes the main event to a 6-1 handicap match. Ass.
Funaki vs. Vladimir Kozlov
I don’t see this lasting long. He puts on a nice exhibition of moves. But this isn’t a fucking MMA match.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: *
Cherry vs. Maryse
Well, these are two of the less talented women in the division, so lets see what they can show me. Cherry gets her ass beat a lot of the match. I would like to say that she goes have some good moves. Maryse, not so much but she has really good facials. Heh, Maryse, facials…..Oh sorry. She sells really well. When she gets hit, it looks like it hurts. But the match ends a little too abruptly with a Cherry bulldog.
Winner: Cherry
Match Rating: *
Matt Hardy and Kofi have a little love fest in the back. Shelton barges in and says Kofi is a kiss ass and Matt makes fun of Shelton’s hair.
Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
I wonder how many :jerk: happened when the smarkz got wind of this match. It was a great one. Match of the night thus far. There was a lot of good wrestling from both guys. Matt took control early but quickly relinquished it to Shelton after a missed second rope elbow. TGS keeps Hardy down with a variety of holds including a body scissors and chinlock >_> combo. We didn’t get to see his flat footed jump to the top but I don’t think it’s a necessary thing in every match. Matt fights back and but Shelton gives him the suplex on the ropes, keeping the focus on the midsection. Matt goes for a side effect but its countered. Matt is able to hit it however but its not enough. Shelton hits his whirlybird kick and THAT is not enough. Matt hits the Twist of Fate out of NOWHERE and that’s all she wrote.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: **.9999999999999999999 (not quite 3)
Comments: This was ALMOST a 3 star match, but something was missing, don’t know what. The WWE are making the Twist of Fate a lights out move. Good move, IMO.
Nealey and Chavo walk away making this 4-1
Edge, Hawkins, Ryder, and Vickie Guerrero vs. The Undertaker
Edge sends his cronies after Taker and stands in front of Vickie. Taker almost gets to her once or twice but there are too many guy there. Undertaker gets a few gleams of hope but its not working. The Edgeheads are stomping the shit out of him. Taker clears the ring with 2 swoops and goes for Vickie but Hawkins and Ryder save her. A double chokeslam on them and Vickie gets GOOZLED but Edge is there and uncoils with a SPEAR and everyone retreats.
Winner: No One
Match Rating: **
This was an alright show. Not what I was expecting going into a PPV but w/e. I was relatively entertained. MOTN was Matt vs. Shelton. Don’t forget to read SP’s Raw review because he feels like you aren’t paying him enough attention lately.
CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo
Collar and elbow tie up and Chuck starts hammering down on Punk. Side headlock take down and Palumbo is in control. Punk fires back with shots of his own but Chucky stops him with a hard elbow. Palumbo charges Punk but CM lowbridges him and then hits a tope out. Chuck fucking no sells it as he I THE FIRST UP and back in the ring he takes over. Fuck that. This Is good physical match but that was fucking bullshit. Punk comes back with some vicious kick and his knee/bulldog combo for a 2. Holy shit. Spinning heel kick and a springboard clothesline nets another 2. Chuck gets back into it with a stiff as fucking hell clothesline. Punk goes for a GTS but doesn’t work. Palumbo catches a crossbodying CM Punk and hits an SOS slam. Chuck Palumbo goes for the Full Throttle but misses and Punk hits the GTS for the win.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Rating: **1/2
Comments: That would have been a three star match if Chuck didn’t fucking ruin it. What a dick.
In the GMs locker room, MVP, Finlay, and Big Show all come in to gloat and laugh at Vickie. She then reminds them of her POWER and says MVP has to go find a partner, and they will take on Finlay and The Big Show. I like it.
Leyla vs. Michelle McCool
We get some brawling to start out followed by a slingshot on Leyla. Drop toe hold by McCool who then locks in an Indian Death Lock but Leyla manages to get a headlock on. Knee breaker a la Flair and shes back to work on the leg. I think Michelle has been being schooled by The Undertaker. Its showing. McCool locks in a modified ankle lock for the win.
Winner: Michelle McCool
Match Rating: **
Batista comes out and says he will be at Judgment Day O_O
The Big Show and Finlay vs. MVP and Mark Henry
Finlay and MVP start out and we get some chain wrestling to start out. The two jock for the advantage and Finlay tags out. MVP tries one punch and it isn’t enough. Meezark and Show circle and get into a power battle. Henry can NOT take down Show after trying everything he can and tags out. Show takes over and tags in Finlay. The Irishman comes in and just hammers on MVP with everything he’s got. Finlay goes to the ropes, HA. A huge boot and Finlay topples to the floor. MVP takes over and grinds down Finlay. Henry tags in and just dominates Finlay with some of the most brutal offense seen in a while MVP is back in and the people are BEGGING show to get in. Show is denting the steel stairs on the outside keeping the crowd in it. Show gets the hot tag but Mark Henry jumps him from behind. Finlay takes out Henry and MVP receives a chokeslam.
Winners: Finlay and The Big Show
Match Rating: **3/4
Vickie changes the main event to a 6-1 handicap match. Ass.
Funaki vs. Vladimir Kozlov
I don’t see this lasting long. He puts on a nice exhibition of moves. But this isn’t a fucking MMA match.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: *
Cherry vs. Maryse
Well, these are two of the less talented women in the division, so lets see what they can show me. Cherry gets her ass beat a lot of the match. I would like to say that she goes have some good moves. Maryse, not so much but she has really good facials. Heh, Maryse, facials…..Oh sorry. She sells really well. When she gets hit, it looks like it hurts. But the match ends a little too abruptly with a Cherry bulldog.
Winner: Cherry
Match Rating: *
Matt Hardy and Kofi have a little love fest in the back. Shelton barges in and says Kofi is a kiss ass and Matt makes fun of Shelton’s hair.
Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
I wonder how many :jerk: happened when the smarkz got wind of this match. It was a great one. Match of the night thus far. There was a lot of good wrestling from both guys. Matt took control early but quickly relinquished it to Shelton after a missed second rope elbow. TGS keeps Hardy down with a variety of holds including a body scissors and chinlock >_> combo. We didn’t get to see his flat footed jump to the top but I don’t think it’s a necessary thing in every match. Matt fights back and but Shelton gives him the suplex on the ropes, keeping the focus on the midsection. Matt goes for a side effect but its countered. Matt is able to hit it however but its not enough. Shelton hits his whirlybird kick and THAT is not enough. Matt hits the Twist of Fate out of NOWHERE and that’s all she wrote.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: **.9999999999999999999 (not quite 3)
Comments: This was ALMOST a 3 star match, but something was missing, don’t know what. The WWE are making the Twist of Fate a lights out move. Good move, IMO.
Nealey and Chavo walk away making this 4-1
Edge, Hawkins, Ryder, and Vickie Guerrero vs. The Undertaker
Edge sends his cronies after Taker and stands in front of Vickie. Taker almost gets to her once or twice but there are too many guy there. Undertaker gets a few gleams of hope but its not working. The Edgeheads are stomping the shit out of him. Taker clears the ring with 2 swoops and goes for Vickie but Hawkins and Ryder save her. A double chokeslam on them and Vickie gets GOOZLED but Edge is there and uncoils with a SPEAR and everyone retreats.
Winner: No One
Match Rating: **
This was an alright show. Not what I was expecting going into a PPV but w/e. I was relatively entertained. MOTN was Matt vs. Shelton. Don’t forget to read SP’s Raw review because he feels like you aren’t paying him enough attention lately.
