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50 Signs That You Are A Mark

wwe_fanatic

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Just came across these on ProWrestling.com. Obviously bit outdated now, but some funny ones.

1.) Your whole wardrobe is made up of Austin 3:16 shirts.

2.) You went and bought a computer and a connection to the internet just to get wrestling news and say you're not a mark.

3.) When Hulk Hogan started the nWo you traded in your vitamins for a black marker to color all of your Hulk Hogan merchandise black, representing the nWo.

4.) If you're watching Nitro and you know Glacier is on next, you grab some hot chocolate, put on a winter jacket, and prepare for the snow to fall in the arena. The extra jacket is sometimes not needed because you are so excited to see Glacier.

5.) You make signs to hold up in front of your television screen while watching RAW is WAR.

6.) You wonder if somehow Kane is gonna beat the Hardy Boys.

7.) You're glad there were fifteen minutes left before Survivor Series '97 should have been over because you got to take off your Bret Hart shirt, home made Bret Hart glasses, go up to your room to take down your twenty Bret Hart posters, put away your Bret Hart figures, and still have the time to ask yourself: I thought Bret was a good wrestler but he submitted to the sharpshooter.

8.) When you walk into a room, you get your tape player out and play your favorite wrestler's theme song and give proper introductions to yourself before walking into the room.

9.) You bought a second house just so you could place another entry to win the Steve Austin truck.

10.) Your Christmas list contained everything in the WWE catalog.

11.) Every time Sting flies down from the top of an arena and goes through the mat you hope he's ok.

12.) Every week on RAW is WAR you get very mad when the power goes out. You later find out that it was Kane.

13.) When provoked, you give your tormentor the Stone Cold "rolling middle fingers."

14.) When you see your mom or girlfriend, you feel the urge to yell "HO!!!!!!" just like "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.

15.) You finish sentences by saying, "...and that's the bottom line!"

16.) Whenever you see a fight, you scream "ECW! ECW! ECW!"

17.) You legitimately feel sorry for The Undertaker because you believe that he is really fighting his brother, his parents really died and he was betrayed by his life-long friend, Paul Bearer.

18.) You have no idea why Pat Patterson sucks, after all, he was the first Intercontinental Champion! (insert Al Snow joke here).

19.) You actually enjoy it when Eric Bischoff and Vince McMahon wrestle.

20.) You wonder whatever happened to Dr. Isaac Yankem D.D.S., Oz, The Diamond Studd, Mean Mark Callous, Avatar, Leif Cassidy, and Papa Shango.

21.) You think that there have been multiple Ultimate Warriors.

22.) You think that Hulk Hogan is the World Champion because he is the best wrestler alive today.

23.) You see a "good guy" and a "bad guy" hanging out together and you ask them why.

24.) You cried during Shawn Michaels speech where he said that he lost his smile.

25.) You voted for Bob Backlund during the Presidential elections.

26.) While practicing DX's crotch chop, you injure yourself.

27.) You get angry when the Nitro main event doesn't end cleanly (without interference).

28.) When Scott Hall takes a survey you say "N-W-O" at home with him, then cheer.

29.) You love all three of the Mick Foley triplets, Dude Love, Mankind, and Cactus Jack.

30.) You wait to hear how the crowd reacts to a wrestler before you react (cheer/boo).

31.) You stopped watching wrestling for a couple of years, then go to a WWE Show and hold a Hulkamania sign up, and wonder where he is.

32.) You drink beer with The Sandman at home.

33.) You look on a map for Dudleyville Come on, everyone has to have done this at some point?

34.) You think you can actually smell what The Rock is cooking... and you like it.

35.) You wonder how many years of bad luck Steve Austin has due to the start of his theme music.

36.) Every time DX comes out, you say "Suck what???!!!"

37.) Every time someone brings up the subject of "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth you respond "Damnit, I don't hear you!! They are still married!!"

38.) You think Alex Wright or Disco Inferno can actually dance.

39.) You think the reforming of the Four Horsemen without Ric Flair is a good idea.

40.) You're still waiting for Koko B. Ware, The Brooklyn Brawler, and Hillbilly Jim to all get their respective shots at the WWE Title.

41.) You actually respond to K-Dawg's "Arriba la raza" as if it's the start of a conversation.

42.) When Triple H asks "Are you ready?!?!", you say "No" and ask for more time.

43.) You think WCW is better than the WWE.

44.) You're amazed at how many people chant "GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!" in perfect unison and how loud it gets and how it sounds the same each and every time.

45.) You can actually list all 1,000 of Dean Malenko's holds.

46.) You answer the phone with "Hey yo."

47.) You actually think Goldberg deserves to hold the WCW Title.

48.) You like to watch Norman Smiley do the "big wiggle."

49.) You think Gangrel is really a vampire and drinks blood.

50.) You think Kane has magic powers and can make pyro come out of the ring posts whenever he wants
 

Cena_Buttocks

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1.) Your whole wardrobe is made up of Austin 3:16 shirts.

Nope... Austin's overrated and a drunk/wife-beater. My wardrobe is made up of Chain Gang/Cena clothing.

2.) You went and bought a computer and a connection to the internet just to get wrestling news and say you're not a mark.

Nope. I don't read or trust the wrestling newz sites on the Internet.

3.) When Hulk Hogan started the nWo you traded in your vitamins for a black marker to color all of your Hulk Hogan merchandise black, representing the nWo.

No. Hogan is overrated and a piece of shit. I hope he dies so the world will be a better place.

4.) If you're watching Nitro and you know Glacier is on next, you grab some hot chocolate, put on a winter jacket, and prepare for the snow to fall in the arena. The extra jacket is sometimes not needed because you are so excited to see Glacier.

Yes. I am quite partial to Mr Glaze er and he is my second favorite wrestler of all time. You also mispelled his name.

5.) You make signs to hold up in front of your television screen while watching RAW is WAR.

Yes. How else can I support the CG?

8.) When you walk into a room, you get your tape player out and play your favorite wrestler's theme song and give proper introductions to yourself before walking into the room.

Hell YES!!! Dun, dun, dun, dun prrrr ABADOO!!! Your time is up, my time is now. THE CHAMP IS HERE!!

10.) Your Christmas list contained everything in the WWE catalog.

No.. It contained everything with John Cena's face that was in the catalog.

13.) When provoked, you give your tormentor the Stone Cold "rolling middle fingers."

No. I already said my thoughts about Austin. I give my "tormentors" the You Can't See Me signals. I then proceed to kick their ass CG style!

14.) When you see your mom or girlfriend, you feel the urge to yell "HO!!!!!!" just like "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.

No. My mom would kill me if she heard me cussing.

16.) Whenever you see a fight, you scream "ECW! ECW! ECW!"

No. Because a fight has nothing to do with garbage wrestlers doing the flippity flips.

17.) You legitimately feel sorry for The Undertaker because you believe that he is really fighting his brother, his parents really died and he was betrayed by his life-long friend, Paul Bearer.

Yes. It sucks when your friends turn on you, even more so when its someone you've known for over 10 years (as is the case with Bearer). And how can I not feel sorry for Taker when he's fighting his own flesh and blood.... His flesh and blood, MAN!

20.) You wonder whatever happened to Dr. Isaac Yankem D.D.S., Oz, The Diamond Studd, Mean Mark Callous, Avatar, Leif Cassidy, and Papa Shango.

No. Isaac Yankem is Kane, OZ=Arrrgh! My Quad!, Diamond Studd is fat and wrestling in Puerto Rico, chico. Mean Mark Callous is recovering from injuries suffered at the hands of Marcus Henry. Avatar is Al Snow and I don't know where he is. Leif Cassidy is strung out somewhere and Shango is running a nudie club in Las Vegas.

22.) You think that Hulk Hogan is the World Champion because he is the best wrestler alive today.

No.He's the World Champion at being a Ham Sammich! He is not the best wrestler alive today... We all know who that is.

24.) You cried during Shawn Michaels speech where he said that he lost his smile.

Yes. Though I believe he lied to me, as I have seen him laugh in various occasions since then.

30.) You wait to hear how the crowd reacts to a wrestler before you react (cheer/boo).

No. People boo Cena because they want to be "kewl". I cheer for him regardless. I also boo Orton because he sucks and should be in jail.

32.) You drink beer with The Sandman at home.

I'm 16, I can't drink alcohol. I do however drink Pepsi and emulate The Sadman during his entrance.

35.) You wonder how many years of bad luck Steve Austin has due to the start of his theme music.

No. It is my belief that the glass shattering is a metaphor for Austin throwing his wife or girlfriend through a plate-glass window. Debra: O_O

38.) You think Alex Wright or Disco Inferno can actually dance.

Yes. Das Wunderkind is one of the top three dancers in the world. Michel Jackson and Disco Inferno are the other two.

39.) You think the reforming of the Four Horsemen without Ric Flair is a good idea.

Yes. Flair is old and overrated. If it were up to me the Four Horsemen would be: John Cena (The Leader) OMEGA, Booby Lashley and Christopher Masterpiece.

44.) You're amazed at how many people chant "GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!" in perfect unison and how loud it gets and how it sounds the same each and every time.

Yes. I'm amazed because Goldberg sucks although he did do one GREAT thing. He ended the career of THE HITMAN Bret Heart. Yet another man who should be in jail for supporting assassination.

45.) You can actually list all 1,000 of Dean Malenko's holds.

Armbar

46.) You answer the phone with "Hey yo."

No. I answer with... THE CHAMP IS HEEEEEREEEE!

48.) You like to watch Norman Smiley do the "big wiggle."

Who doesn't?

49.) You think Gangrel is really a vampire and drinks blood.

He is a vampire. He's also Kevin Thorn's dad.

50.) You think Kane has magic powers and can make pyro come out of the ring posts whenever he wants.

Not anymore. REAL wrestling fans know he lost his powers along with his mask. Its a shame, but that's what happened.