This is going to be a bit more simplified as opposed to my other columns. After the non-event of this past Monday’s Raw, the smarks have kicked it into high gear. “THE WWE IS FAILING. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE DOING.†Blah, blah, blah. It has made me take good long look at the things smarks say more often than not and thus inspired this column. So I am going to go through some of the most common statements “smart marks†make and totally obliterate (in my opinion) their statements. I will also be venting a little frustrations and talking about TNA's new signees.
“*random small wrestler x* would be a great world heavyweight champion if the WWE pushed them right.â€
This is the one that pisses me off the most. I was watching SD this week and Jamie Noble was taking on Shannon Moore. It was a pretty lackluster match but certain members of the IWF were proclaiming him to be this amazing untapped talent. (It should be known here I am not calling you a smark (whoever made that comment) I am just saying it is a common theme on the internet.) The names that come up a lot in the WWE are CM Punk and Jamie Noble. In TNA its Daniels, AJ Styles, and Jay Lethal. All of these guys are midgets compared to the big stars like HHH, Samoa Joe, Batista, Cena, Lashley, and Taker. And maybe they are right. Maybe those wrestlers, and the many others they name, are great enough to carry a company. But here’s the thing I don’t get, if those small guys are good enough, why isn’t Rey Mysterio? AJ Styles is 5ft 10in tall. Jamie Noble is 5ft 8in tall. Rey Mysterio is 5ft 5in 150 lbs. If all of those guys can get a push, why not Rey? What makes his push so bad? Yeah he was made to look like shit. But that doesn’t mean he’s not deserving of it. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t busted his ass to try and have great matches. And not just great spotfests, great matches with ANYONE. And I mean ANYONE. When Rey Mysterio gets in the ring, you know you are in for at LEAST a good match. A-Train, Doug Basham, Kevin Fertig, Randy Orton. He has made all of these guys look like GOLD. That’s something I’ve never seen Noble, Styles, or Daniels do, ever. When I first started coming on the internet many hundred years ago, the complaint about the WWE was they never pushed the small guy. Then they pushed a small guy in Rey Mysterio and the bitching continued. Smarks are completely contradicting themselves. “We want a small guy to get a push, but only the small guy WE DEEM WORTHY.†So it’s not really about size is it you pricks?
“The Great Khali has destroyed all the credibility that the WHC had.â€
Kind of tying it into the last one. Ok so you don’t want a small guy getting it, but a guy that’s too big is bad too? And don’t get me wrong, anyone who has read my columns or talked to me in the SB knows that I can not STAND Khali. However he does have one thing going for him, he’s big. Granted this isn’t the 1970s and people aren’t as impressed by a big guy, however from a psychology standpoint it makes perfect sense. If you agree to suspend disbelief, who the fuck is gonna beat this man? I mean really. And to add to that, smarks like to talk about how great wrestling was back in the day. You know what? Andre The Giant and Khali are not all that different. They are both horrible at English, they both cant sell worth a damn, and they are both really lumbering in the ring due to their size. Andre the Giant was no different from Khali except he was in a different era. So if you think Andre was God’s gift to shit but Khali is just shit, you’re a fucking hypocrite.
“(Non WWE Fed-X) is changing the wrestling industry. They are changing they way wrestling is ‘supposed’ to be seen by changing the way matches are worked.â€
I hear this about ROH and TNA mostly. There is a severe lack of ring psychology in TNA and the little bit I have seen of ROH is largely the same. Now I’m not saying there is NO psychology in any of those feds, however it is severely lacking as far as I can see. And I get into this debate almost weekly somewhere. “Wrestling isn’t the way it used to be anymore. We know its fake so why should guys have to sell like they used to?†Because numbnuts it’s the thing that defines wrestling. The idea of wrestling is to make it look like it hurts without making it actually hurt. Fostering an illusion of violence. If there is no illusion, what is the fucking point? If a guy gets the shit kicked out of him for a 10 minute match and when the match is over he isn’t even BREATHING HEAVY, how is that pushing the illusion? We all know that most of them aren’t tired after only wrestling 10 minutes because they are in tip top shape, and that’s awesome. Really it is. I’d love to have the cardio stamina of Kurt Angle or AJ Styles. But that’s not what pro wrestling is about. Say you’re watching a movie set in ancient Rome or colonial America and you have two guys fighting with muskets, swords, or whatever. And during this fight, one of the guys stops it because his cell phone rings. You’d be like WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! THEY DIDN’T HAVE CELL PHONES BACK THEN!!! That would not make any fucking sense, and the same thing happens when fucking guys no sell everything. Hardcore TNA/ROH fans seem more to be interested in an exhibition of moves and holds as opposed to the drama and storytelling wrestling has always provided.
A great example given by Raven in this video I have is think back to the movie “Gladiatorâ€. Remember when Russell Crowe gets shanked with those two blades? Imagine how fucked up you would be if he just no sold those two stabbings. I think the quote was “Riddley Scott would come out and hit him with a fuckin baseball bat and say ‘Listen MORON YOU JUST GOT SHANKED. And you’re not gonna sell it’?†It’s the same thing when you see these small guys in ROH and in TNA’s X-division just do these high spots. They just do move after move after move. “You hit me with a plancha over the top rope and then 20 seconds later I’ll do a triple jump moonsault.†I mean it makes no god damn sense. And I’m not against high flying wrestlers. I’m against all of the idiots who don’t use psychology and the idiots who are their fans.
I guess in a way these guys are changing wrestling, but they aren’t doing anything good. Selling and psychology are the single most important things in a wrestling match. A guy doesn’t need to do 900 high spots to have a good match. How many of these moves did Greg Valentine, Dusty Rhodes, Hulk Hogan, Jerry Lawler, Jake The Snake, The Rock, Roddy Piper, Steve Austin, HHH, and Sgt. Slaughter do? You can count the number of high spots they did together in their career on ONE HAND. But you know what they did? THEY SOLD THEIR ASSES OFF. That’s what they did because that is what makes wrestling unique. I’ll go back to that Raven video again. In wrestling, the crowd has an influence on the match. It is not that way in any other sport. When the crowd chants HARDY, HARDY, HARDY, HARDY; what usually happens? Jeff or Matt start to fight back or the heel gets pissed and gets distracted. You don’t have that in any other sport. And now TNA and ROH are trying to make it that way because almost no one listens to the crowd. They just do spots to do spots and it’s really making the product shitty
Hard Hit Of The Week:
Now I am a big fan of high impact wrestling. I love hard, stiff shots. I love chops and make me cringe and I love chair shots that make my head hurt. So each week I want to highlight my Hard Hit Of The Week. This week it comes from probably the match of the week as well. On Friday night, Matt Hardy had an impromptu match with MVP and I must say these guys tore the house down. I mean it ended in a count out, but so what, that doesn’t happen as often as it used to anymore and it’s only used when it makes sense. So any of your smarks who whined about it need to shut the fuck up. That match was a classic reason why the WWE is just plain better than everyone else. But onto the Hard Hit I was referring to. We had a superplex in the match. Did anyone notice when Matt set MVP on the ropes he hit him with a stiff ass punch to the face? My God! I’m surprised we didn’t see Montell’s toofesis flying out! If you haven’t seen it, go take a look. It’s the kind of hard hitting action I like to see from the WWE.
TNA’s New Stars
TNA are supposed to be developing a NEW program and a NEW product. Instead they are just ripping off the WWE. They’ve already signed the WWE’s sloppy seconds when it comes to Kurt Angle, Christian, and Scott Steiner. They recently added Matt Morgan, Test, and Tyson Tomko. But now, NOW, they are rumored to be going after even more useless fucking people in the persons of Rikishi and A-Train. What the fuck are TNA doing!? They have an opportunity to establish themselves as a viable competitor to the WWE and they are pissing it all away. I know, they need drawing power. But you know what, they have it in Sting and Kurt Angle. Those guys are two of the biggest names in wrestling history, EVER. I understand they are going to two hours soon and need to fill up some time, but why not sign some free agents that can actually wrestle? There are so many BETTER wrestlers. RVD, Sabu, Goldberg, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, Kid Kash, Sid Justice, Ken Shamrock. They recently hired Dustin Rhodes. I like Dustin and I always have. But they are having him RIP OFF HIS WWE GIMMICK!! Why would you do that? Why would you copy the people you are trying to beat? Bischoff didn’t beat WWE in the ratings by COPYING them. It’s just fucking stupid. TNA is gonna go to two hours but you know what? It’s not gonna make a damn bit of difference if they don’t start producing a better show and the recent hiring spree tells me they aint got SHIT!
To close there is a certain member of the forum has been annoying me lately. I’m not gonna mention his name but most of you probably know who he is. He seems to think that my opinion in general is because something is popular, it’s good. This person is particularly stupid since I explained my stance but I will do it again here.
I do NOT think just because something is popular, it’s good. What I do believe is that popularity that lasts for 10 years means your are doing SOMETHING good. Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Triple H, Bret Hart. All of these guys, with the exception of Ric Flair, are NOT perfect wrestlers, nor were they ever in their heydays. All of them had something they did so well that everyone remembers them even today. Hulk Hogan is by far the worst “technical wrestler†to be held in such high regard. Did you ever stop to think why that is? Getting back to what I was talking about earlier, he was a master of ring psychology. He knew what the fans wanted to see when they wanted to see it. The same with Dusty Rhodes, Roddy Piper, Triple H, and Bret Hart. None of them are/were the total package but they have all been in matches that will stand the test of time.
This certain cretin didn’t understand what I meant when I said “stand the test of time.†He is too stupid to understand the difference between short term popularity, and matches fans 10, 20, and even 30 years down the road still remember. THAT is a good match. He thinks every match has to be of 5 star quality. But I guarantee you his favorite current wrestling matches severely lack in ring psychology. Guess what moron, a 5 star wrestling match isn’t always good. Bret Hart vs. HBK, while a great technical match, was one of the most boring matches of all time because there was almost no drama in it what so ever, at least until the final 1:3whatever. I’ve seen far better matches with guys who didn’t have as good a “work rate.†Most recently, Undertaker vs. Batista was better than that I think. So was HBK/Cena from Raw in England. Hell, HHH vs. Benoit on Raw in an Iron Man Match blew that one WAY out of the water. There was drama, there was build, and there was tension not just for the final minute or so, but for the WHOLE MATCH. And that’s what numb nuts doesn’t get. Popular means you’re good enough for now, but being remembered make’s you great.
The Quote of the Week comes from one of the most hated men in wrestling, Jeff Jarrett. He was asked about wrestling being “fake†and “realâ€. And he gave the best response I had ever heard…
“For those who believe, no explanation is needed. For those who don’t believe, no explanation will be good enough.â€
That’s it for the 16th No Smark Zone. I want to say thanks to everyone who gave me ideas on what to write and if I didn’t get to yours today, I will see if I can get to it next week. Always remember, if you want to know my opinion on something, just ask and I will gladly run my mouth for a while!
Don’t forget to read TDKs Raw Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=112607#post112607
Soulpower’s ECW Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=116705#post116705
Monkeystyles’ TNA Impact Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=117601#post117601
And my Smackdown Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=117692#post117692
Thanks for reading and until next week….
FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! :gun_rifle:
:love: Just kidding :love:
“*random small wrestler x* would be a great world heavyweight champion if the WWE pushed them right.â€
This is the one that pisses me off the most. I was watching SD this week and Jamie Noble was taking on Shannon Moore. It was a pretty lackluster match but certain members of the IWF were proclaiming him to be this amazing untapped talent. (It should be known here I am not calling you a smark (whoever made that comment) I am just saying it is a common theme on the internet.) The names that come up a lot in the WWE are CM Punk and Jamie Noble. In TNA its Daniels, AJ Styles, and Jay Lethal. All of these guys are midgets compared to the big stars like HHH, Samoa Joe, Batista, Cena, Lashley, and Taker. And maybe they are right. Maybe those wrestlers, and the many others they name, are great enough to carry a company. But here’s the thing I don’t get, if those small guys are good enough, why isn’t Rey Mysterio? AJ Styles is 5ft 10in tall. Jamie Noble is 5ft 8in tall. Rey Mysterio is 5ft 5in 150 lbs. If all of those guys can get a push, why not Rey? What makes his push so bad? Yeah he was made to look like shit. But that doesn’t mean he’s not deserving of it. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t busted his ass to try and have great matches. And not just great spotfests, great matches with ANYONE. And I mean ANYONE. When Rey Mysterio gets in the ring, you know you are in for at LEAST a good match. A-Train, Doug Basham, Kevin Fertig, Randy Orton. He has made all of these guys look like GOLD. That’s something I’ve never seen Noble, Styles, or Daniels do, ever. When I first started coming on the internet many hundred years ago, the complaint about the WWE was they never pushed the small guy. Then they pushed a small guy in Rey Mysterio and the bitching continued. Smarks are completely contradicting themselves. “We want a small guy to get a push, but only the small guy WE DEEM WORTHY.†So it’s not really about size is it you pricks?
“The Great Khali has destroyed all the credibility that the WHC had.â€
Kind of tying it into the last one. Ok so you don’t want a small guy getting it, but a guy that’s too big is bad too? And don’t get me wrong, anyone who has read my columns or talked to me in the SB knows that I can not STAND Khali. However he does have one thing going for him, he’s big. Granted this isn’t the 1970s and people aren’t as impressed by a big guy, however from a psychology standpoint it makes perfect sense. If you agree to suspend disbelief, who the fuck is gonna beat this man? I mean really. And to add to that, smarks like to talk about how great wrestling was back in the day. You know what? Andre The Giant and Khali are not all that different. They are both horrible at English, they both cant sell worth a damn, and they are both really lumbering in the ring due to their size. Andre the Giant was no different from Khali except he was in a different era. So if you think Andre was God’s gift to shit but Khali is just shit, you’re a fucking hypocrite.
“(Non WWE Fed-X) is changing the wrestling industry. They are changing they way wrestling is ‘supposed’ to be seen by changing the way matches are worked.â€
I hear this about ROH and TNA mostly. There is a severe lack of ring psychology in TNA and the little bit I have seen of ROH is largely the same. Now I’m not saying there is NO psychology in any of those feds, however it is severely lacking as far as I can see. And I get into this debate almost weekly somewhere. “Wrestling isn’t the way it used to be anymore. We know its fake so why should guys have to sell like they used to?†Because numbnuts it’s the thing that defines wrestling. The idea of wrestling is to make it look like it hurts without making it actually hurt. Fostering an illusion of violence. If there is no illusion, what is the fucking point? If a guy gets the shit kicked out of him for a 10 minute match and when the match is over he isn’t even BREATHING HEAVY, how is that pushing the illusion? We all know that most of them aren’t tired after only wrestling 10 minutes because they are in tip top shape, and that’s awesome. Really it is. I’d love to have the cardio stamina of Kurt Angle or AJ Styles. But that’s not what pro wrestling is about. Say you’re watching a movie set in ancient Rome or colonial America and you have two guys fighting with muskets, swords, or whatever. And during this fight, one of the guys stops it because his cell phone rings. You’d be like WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! THEY DIDN’T HAVE CELL PHONES BACK THEN!!! That would not make any fucking sense, and the same thing happens when fucking guys no sell everything. Hardcore TNA/ROH fans seem more to be interested in an exhibition of moves and holds as opposed to the drama and storytelling wrestling has always provided.
A great example given by Raven in this video I have is think back to the movie “Gladiatorâ€. Remember when Russell Crowe gets shanked with those two blades? Imagine how fucked up you would be if he just no sold those two stabbings. I think the quote was “Riddley Scott would come out and hit him with a fuckin baseball bat and say ‘Listen MORON YOU JUST GOT SHANKED. And you’re not gonna sell it’?†It’s the same thing when you see these small guys in ROH and in TNA’s X-division just do these high spots. They just do move after move after move. “You hit me with a plancha over the top rope and then 20 seconds later I’ll do a triple jump moonsault.†I mean it makes no god damn sense. And I’m not against high flying wrestlers. I’m against all of the idiots who don’t use psychology and the idiots who are their fans.
I guess in a way these guys are changing wrestling, but they aren’t doing anything good. Selling and psychology are the single most important things in a wrestling match. A guy doesn’t need to do 900 high spots to have a good match. How many of these moves did Greg Valentine, Dusty Rhodes, Hulk Hogan, Jerry Lawler, Jake The Snake, The Rock, Roddy Piper, Steve Austin, HHH, and Sgt. Slaughter do? You can count the number of high spots they did together in their career on ONE HAND. But you know what they did? THEY SOLD THEIR ASSES OFF. That’s what they did because that is what makes wrestling unique. I’ll go back to that Raven video again. In wrestling, the crowd has an influence on the match. It is not that way in any other sport. When the crowd chants HARDY, HARDY, HARDY, HARDY; what usually happens? Jeff or Matt start to fight back or the heel gets pissed and gets distracted. You don’t have that in any other sport. And now TNA and ROH are trying to make it that way because almost no one listens to the crowd. They just do spots to do spots and it’s really making the product shitty
Hard Hit Of The Week:
Now I am a big fan of high impact wrestling. I love hard, stiff shots. I love chops and make me cringe and I love chair shots that make my head hurt. So each week I want to highlight my Hard Hit Of The Week. This week it comes from probably the match of the week as well. On Friday night, Matt Hardy had an impromptu match with MVP and I must say these guys tore the house down. I mean it ended in a count out, but so what, that doesn’t happen as often as it used to anymore and it’s only used when it makes sense. So any of your smarks who whined about it need to shut the fuck up. That match was a classic reason why the WWE is just plain better than everyone else. But onto the Hard Hit I was referring to. We had a superplex in the match. Did anyone notice when Matt set MVP on the ropes he hit him with a stiff ass punch to the face? My God! I’m surprised we didn’t see Montell’s toofesis flying out! If you haven’t seen it, go take a look. It’s the kind of hard hitting action I like to see from the WWE.
TNA’s New Stars
TNA are supposed to be developing a NEW program and a NEW product. Instead they are just ripping off the WWE. They’ve already signed the WWE’s sloppy seconds when it comes to Kurt Angle, Christian, and Scott Steiner. They recently added Matt Morgan, Test, and Tyson Tomko. But now, NOW, they are rumored to be going after even more useless fucking people in the persons of Rikishi and A-Train. What the fuck are TNA doing!? They have an opportunity to establish themselves as a viable competitor to the WWE and they are pissing it all away. I know, they need drawing power. But you know what, they have it in Sting and Kurt Angle. Those guys are two of the biggest names in wrestling history, EVER. I understand they are going to two hours soon and need to fill up some time, but why not sign some free agents that can actually wrestle? There are so many BETTER wrestlers. RVD, Sabu, Goldberg, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, Kid Kash, Sid Justice, Ken Shamrock. They recently hired Dustin Rhodes. I like Dustin and I always have. But they are having him RIP OFF HIS WWE GIMMICK!! Why would you do that? Why would you copy the people you are trying to beat? Bischoff didn’t beat WWE in the ratings by COPYING them. It’s just fucking stupid. TNA is gonna go to two hours but you know what? It’s not gonna make a damn bit of difference if they don’t start producing a better show and the recent hiring spree tells me they aint got SHIT!
To close there is a certain member of the forum has been annoying me lately. I’m not gonna mention his name but most of you probably know who he is. He seems to think that my opinion in general is because something is popular, it’s good. This person is particularly stupid since I explained my stance but I will do it again here.
I do NOT think just because something is popular, it’s good. What I do believe is that popularity that lasts for 10 years means your are doing SOMETHING good. Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Triple H, Bret Hart. All of these guys, with the exception of Ric Flair, are NOT perfect wrestlers, nor were they ever in their heydays. All of them had something they did so well that everyone remembers them even today. Hulk Hogan is by far the worst “technical wrestler†to be held in such high regard. Did you ever stop to think why that is? Getting back to what I was talking about earlier, he was a master of ring psychology. He knew what the fans wanted to see when they wanted to see it. The same with Dusty Rhodes, Roddy Piper, Triple H, and Bret Hart. None of them are/were the total package but they have all been in matches that will stand the test of time.
This certain cretin didn’t understand what I meant when I said “stand the test of time.†He is too stupid to understand the difference between short term popularity, and matches fans 10, 20, and even 30 years down the road still remember. THAT is a good match. He thinks every match has to be of 5 star quality. But I guarantee you his favorite current wrestling matches severely lack in ring psychology. Guess what moron, a 5 star wrestling match isn’t always good. Bret Hart vs. HBK, while a great technical match, was one of the most boring matches of all time because there was almost no drama in it what so ever, at least until the final 1:3whatever. I’ve seen far better matches with guys who didn’t have as good a “work rate.†Most recently, Undertaker vs. Batista was better than that I think. So was HBK/Cena from Raw in England. Hell, HHH vs. Benoit on Raw in an Iron Man Match blew that one WAY out of the water. There was drama, there was build, and there was tension not just for the final minute or so, but for the WHOLE MATCH. And that’s what numb nuts doesn’t get. Popular means you’re good enough for now, but being remembered make’s you great.
The Quote of the Week comes from one of the most hated men in wrestling, Jeff Jarrett. He was asked about wrestling being “fake†and “realâ€. And he gave the best response I had ever heard…
“For those who believe, no explanation is needed. For those who don’t believe, no explanation will be good enough.â€
That’s it for the 16th No Smark Zone. I want to say thanks to everyone who gave me ideas on what to write and if I didn’t get to yours today, I will see if I can get to it next week. Always remember, if you want to know my opinion on something, just ask and I will gladly run my mouth for a while!
Don’t forget to read TDKs Raw Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=112607#post112607
Soulpower’s ECW Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=116705#post116705
Monkeystyles’ TNA Impact Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=117601#post117601
And my Smackdown Review
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=117692#post117692
Thanks for reading and until next week….
FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! :gun_rifle:
:love: Just kidding :love:
