UWF Veloctiy The Shield vs RVD & Sabu vs T.I.O.C. vs RybAxel

[Schmidty]

As the Veloctiy crowd begins to calm down, they are then greeted by this.....

Curtis Axel and Ryback make there way down the ramp as the crowd give off a negative reaction which the two seem to enjoy. They then circle around the ring where they snatch a mic from the ring crew and proceed to enter the ring.

~~Curtis Axel~~
So here we are. Rybaxel being booked for Velocity yet again but this time we get booked in an actual tag team match. Good job to the boys in the back for finally realizing that when two guys like Ryback and I sign up with a tag team contract, that means we're here to compete in tag team matches. And they're keeping up the good job by placing us in the main event where we belong. Although this isn't the main show, this is still a show where we can prove ourselves worthy enough to compete for the tag titles. What a huge win this would be though if Rybaxel can defeat not one but three teams in our first official tag team match? I'm sure that'll bring us all the way to the top Ryback. I mean just think about the look on Stephanie Mcmahon's face when she see's us standing tall at the end of the night with our arms raised high into the sky for everyone to see? She'd have a look of pride in her eyes as she knows that she signed the right guys. There's always been trouble of some kind when it comes to trying to reform the tag division. But we're the ones that can solve all the problems. We can patch this ship up and sail all the way to victory island. And it all starts tonight! Tonight is the night when champions are born. I don't care if this match looks like just another main event that was posted at the last minute. But that doesn't change the fact that this is a big opportunity for me and the big guy. We won't let it pass us by. So that's why we're going to dominate every single man that steps into this ring with us.

Curtis and Ryback both give off a big smile before Axel begins to speak again.

~~Curtis Axel~~
Now, let's take a look at our competition tonight. First off, we have Sabu and Rob Van Dam....

Curtis Axel stops speaking for a quick second while he looks to be holding in a laugh with Ryback.

~~Curtis Axel~~
I'm sorry but are these guys serious? But I can't help but to feel sorry for these two guys. They're past there prime and out of shape due to the stupid career path they went down. They went through a wrestling company that's basically a hell hole. You walk in fine and you walk out with a bloody face and broken limbs. That goes for the fans and the wrestlers. And the reason i feel sorry for these guys is that they still think they got it. I got to hand it to them. They got spirit. But the spirit replaced their brains. Who in the hell is stupid enough to try to compete with the guys like us after all the damage they've done to their bodies over the years. I mean, I thought Sabu was dead until a couple of weeks ago. And RVD hasn't been relevant since 07. So what makes them think that they are going to outshine the biggest tag team in UWF? Huh? Who the hell do these guys think they are coming to a business just to be selfish and attempt to steal the spot light from talent that's actually worth watching? Nobody wants to see these two guys wrestle. It's just as bad as seeing two sick dogs fight for a plate of nachos. It's not entertainment. It's ridiculous.

~~Curtis Axel~~
And then we got the team of Kevin Steen and Sami Callihan. Now these two men are a newly formed team here in UWF like Ryback and myself. But we've been watching. We seen Sami get his ass kicked at Bound For Glory. We seen Kevin attack Brodie Lee at the Slammy's using a foreign object. We get it. You guys suck. Plain and simple. Sami probably put Kevin up to it seeing as how he thought that Brodie Lee was holding him down. Which really, you need to open your beady little eyes and push your greasy hair out of the way and look at some of your past matches Sami. You think your shit don't stink but really it stinks up this ring forming an odor of failure throughout the arena each time you wrestle. And bringing in Kevin Steen isn't going to help your case. Rybaxel is going to send you two indy wrestlers back to the high school gyms where you belong. This is our house now. We don't have room for a chubby knuckle head and an emo freak hogging all the spotlight just to put these fans to sleep.

Ryback begins to laugh along with Curtis before finishing up what he has to say.

~~Curtis Axel~~
And the last two left to talk about is none other than The Shield. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. They seem to be doing well for themselves actually. Seth Rollins won the Global Championship last week in what some may say is an upset victory. And Roman still standing strong as the muscle of the group. But no muscle can out match The Big Guy standing next to me. Roman, I want you to take a great big look at this man. He is a human wrecking ball and he's proven it on multiple occasions. You may feel like you are the most powerful man in UWF, but step in the ring with Ryback and you'll be feeling like shit the next morning. As for Seth. I'd like to pin the Global Champion myself. Of course when we do win tonight, we'll have to deal with Seth Rollins crying as usual and Roman Reigns standing there with a blank look in his face. But it wouldn't matter because the only thing that matters is what happens in this ring. We will win tonight and set out team high up into the ranks. I don't care how many hearts we'll have to break tonight, we'll break them into pieces because there is NOTHING stopping us from finally getting what we deserve. The Tag Team Championships!

So go ahead and cheer for your favorite tag teams while you still can. Because as soon as Rybaxel begins their reign as the tag team champions, all your favorite teams will crumble at the hands of the man who is Better Than Perfect and the Human Wrecking Ball. There's no hiding from a team of our caliber. We'll keep on handing out ass beatings for anybody who wants to deny the facts that we're trying to prove. That includes the fact that we're the greatest wrestlers to ever lace up a pair of boots. And the reason for us teaming is simple. We both are dominant human beings. You put those two dominant human beings in the ring together as a team and what do you get? Dominance!

Curtis Axel is then cut off by.....






​

 

[Andrew]

SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA


The music of Seth Rollins begins blasting throughout the PA system and the crowd get to their feet not quite sure what the hell to expect. Rollins and Reigns comes out of the crowd and immediately hops onto the apron. The spotlight immediately goes to get off Seth Rollins is as he slides into the ring. Seth then grabs a microphone and begins to speak as Reigns is next to Rollins.

Seth Rollins:
Amusing isn't it? Having this Championship gold, but what's more amusing is I find myself in the main event once again. But unfortunately I had to somewhat pay attention to this guy. A man who's considered to be "Perfect" like his father, funnily enough his father wasn't perfect. Hey Curtis, your father was nothing more than a two time intercontinental champion. Where as I... I've held the International Championship and now I stand before you as your Global Champion! I think when we work it out, I'm already more successful than your father. But I understand you're nothing more than a glorified jobber around here, which is why you required a bodyguard. A bodyguard that cannot protect you, a man that couldn't even beat you in the ring. Poor Ryback, how do you feel about succumbing yourself to a loss? But I want the both of you to understand that you're placed in the main event of Velocity clearly because you'll be the one getting pinned. You aren't even in our league and honestly I too am surprised at the fact you're being booked into the main event. But nonetheless, you both have shown absolutely nothing that will be considered a threat. As a matter of fact, the both of you will be nothing more than a sheer disappointment for poor old Stephanie McMahon. You think this is reliving the tag team division? You think Roman here is a joke? Is that what you think? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Roman gets extremely angry as he addresses Ryback and Curtis Axel.

Roman Reigns:
Please don't barge in here and try and suck up to us only for you to claim I'm just a muscle? Take a deep look at yourself Ryback, you couldn't even defeat Curtis Axel last week. I think the talking has already been done, the action has already been seen. Where as I, I am a savage! I don't just walk in here to be a muscle, I destroy people and trust me... I will destroy the both of you! Now Curtis, I don't give a damn if Ryback wants to be Miley Cyrus and feature in her "Wrecking Ball" song... I am a man who will prove sheer domination over everything, a man who will break Ryback in half. Do you think for one second that if Ryback was to even attempt a Shellshock that I'd just lay there? I simply cannot be put down for the three count! I am too superior and that's a problem for the both of you, you know what we're about... we're threats to you and we should be!

But enough about you two! We've got two other teams to deal with, let's start off with a bunch of has-been who think they're still somewhat relevant in 2014. Rob Van Dam and Sabu, the two man who are famous for their drug abuse and wasting what could have been. The fact you two are old and probably should belong in a damn nursing home; we'll be happy enough to send you back there and this time you'll know where to stay! Instead of living your pipe dreams and claiming that the marijuana is going to mend your pain away, have you realize that I will be making sure your bones are crushed. Not even an island of marijuana will be curing you this time around; so take your last damn smoke because after it... there won't be any oxygen left in your body to be able to inhale any more smoke!

Roman gives Rollins the microphone once more.

Seth Rollins:
Lastly, the team known as T.I.O.C. You could say you're a new team or not... the fact Sami Callihan had Brodie Lee and decided to send him back to where he belongs and replaced him with Kevin Steen. Amusing, now I can understand Kevin Steen is a man who doesn't seem to give a crap what's handed to him. A man who looks for trouble, but he doesn't belong... A poor man's soul, oh Kevin you're trying too hard to be like Sami here. With your emotional plea and wanting to cause destruction with weapons, yet you've failed to understand that weapons are not everything. You've also failed to understand that people can call me emo but look at you, if we looked it up in the dictionary we see nothing more than an emo son-of-a-bitch! So please go on with your "Black Parade" and ensure that your emotional disorders are going to get the better of you and allow you to rage. As for Kevin, well he's nothing more than a fat piece of crap. Just like the rest of the crowd here, you're all copying Kevin Steen and for what? Now Kevin, you might have the moves and such... but this is a real challenge... can you seriously keep up? Just don't fall into asphyxiation, better yet... Roman and I will show all three teams why we're superior. My Championship win wasn't a fluke; I defeated Eddie Guerrero. There's no fire burning anymore... I put the fire out and this week... I'll be placing you all on my death list... first the BLACKOUT, then the ASPHYXIATION... then me standing over you once I've pinned you one, two, three... with the final words.

Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins: YOU SHOULD... BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!​

 

[Fauche]

The SHIELD's super boring lameness is promptly cut off by the flickering of the lights in the stadium. Everybody in the building cheers and stuff, cause technical issues like that are the sort of thing that they're totally into. Fair enough. The titantron gets all staticky, leading to more applause and yelling, until the picture flashes to Kevin Steen, standing somewhere in a dimly lit area backstage (probably). Sami Callihan stands solemnly in the shadows behind him. Because the UWF universe exists beyond time and space, the fans recognize the team to be a heel tandem (see this week's Smackdown for all the as-of-yet unexplained details). Steen addresses the people.

Steen: “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours.”

Following the recitation, Steen rubs his hand across his face and continues.

Steen: And we'll shrug them all off. Every last one of them... of you... If you don't mind me waxing poetic for a few minutes more. Professional wrestling in this day and age isn't anything more than the rotting carcass of a deer, decaying under the sun in the ditch by the interestate. Struck down in its prime when egos paved trails through its natural habitat, mutilating rather than taking the patience to study or learn, egos that twisted and burned and dug and built and killed until the landscape was exactly like it wanted, and finally showed their ugly faces as vultures, picking away at that corpse by the road. And all this.... all this in broad daylight. Right under the sun for everybody to see, right out in the open. But... but rather than being horrified at the sight of it, rather than protesting or questioning the ravaging or what had always been there, the purity, the tradition, the foundation.... you all just bought fucking SUVs and sped down those roads they built, to comfortable in your gluttony and shamelessness to recognize the travesty you were participating in.

But I know, I know, these words, they're just me throwing rocks in the river, making little splashes, little ripples, their for a second but hardly noticed by the current before they disappear. I could stand hear all night banging my head against this camera, screaming my lungs out, calling this shitshow the way I see, calling out the bullies and egomaniacs who control it and manipulate you all like marionettes, faces painted into permanent smiles, eyes never blinking. Calling out each of you for buying into so easily and for being too damn stupid to take a step back and see it all for what it is. I could literally drag Stone Cold, Randy Orton, HHH, his bimbo wife and the damn board of directors down to the ring, beat them black and blue and whatever colour cowards bleed with a steel chair until they admit just how badly they've raped the sport with this company and how they take you for the fools you are, and you'd still all be chanting “what?” after they finished their confessions and buying their shirts on the way out the door. So why bother? Why even fucking bother?


Cause its still real to me damn it.

The crowd starts to laugh at this, but Steen doesn't look amused.

Steen: Yeah, laugh it up. You fucking chubby smarks with your blogs and your dirtsheets. You dumbass fathers, absentee mothers and your clueless kids with your Rey Mysterio masks and your YES chants. You “purists” who think you know a damn thing about anything. You C-list celebrities who whored your way into front row tickets. You plastic-pin totting soldiers with your brain-washed patriotism and your blood-stained camo get-ups. Anyone who spent a dime they earned to be here tonight, throwing money into the bonfire that is this product. The mob. Laugh it up. Cheer when they want you to. Boo when they want you to. Fuck it, be edgy and do the opposite and still believe that you're not playing right into their damn hand. You mean nothing to me. You will never mean anything to me. You and the powers that be have ruined the thing I love the most in this world, and each and every night you continue to drag that corpse along the road, letting it fester on, is another day worth of pure hate burning up my heart. A heart that used to beat pro wrestling. Bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum, each pump, shooting that shit through my veins like the most potent fucking drug. And now, now its corrosive, and every time I hear the letters U-W-F, that rush is gone, and all I have left is this sick, twisitng feeling in my stomach, makes me feel like I have to vomit. And the fact you all love it so much, that makes it even worse.

But I'm a man of action, and a fair man too. Eye for an eye. You ruined what I loved, so now Sami and I are hear to return the favour. We're here to burn this fucking abomination to the ground. Sami Callihan is done bleeding for you. Brodie Lee isn't here any more, the T.I.O.C. is long dead and gone. We aren't here to entertain you, to make you cheer or boo or to sell you a damn thing. We aren't here to win titles, to make hardcore mean something special again, to restore the sanctity or integrity of the sport. We are here to destroy, by any means necessary. We have been stripped and robbed of everything we ever wanted from this industry, and as owners of nothing, we have nothing to lose. We will not stop until the blood is paid in full, until the debt is met. Every inch that was taken by the fucking tools backstage, you monkeys in the crowd, and the “superstars” who just let it happen, will be reclaimed with extreme prejudice. This isn't a warning, we're already here. This is a promise, and its the first time I've looked forward to anything in years.

Steen pauses while the crowd boos.

Steen: Now as for our opponents this week, I don't have much to say, but I will get a few things off my chest. First off, RVD and Sabu – you two embody one of the darkest periods in the history of the sport. Fucking hardcore. Its because of that guys like Sami had to go through hell just to get over. You deluded the fans into thinking its alright for a man to lose a pint of blood on glass and wire and wood to make a pay cheque. You convinced kids around the globe that jumping off of your shed onto a friend's head is okay. All that pain, that blood, its on you. We are the justice you've always deserved. I have no problem pulling out a chair and bashing your skull in, regardless of what kind of match this is. You have ruined lives, and now you make a mockery of that dark legacy and yourselves by becoming parodies of all you used to be. Its disgusting, a sideshow dedicated to a genocide. You're nothing more than a sick, old dog that needs a good bullet out behind the barn. Well here she is fellas, long overdue.

Ryback, Curtis Axel. The latest products of the machine's product line. Surveys and focus groups said a second-rate second-gen inbred and a big-man rip-off come a decade too late might get over with the unthinking majority. They were probably right too. Thing is, we don't plan on leaving much of you two left for them to grow to love or hate. Ryback's nothing more than management's latest big-man turn-on, replaceable just as soon as someone bigger or fitting whatever demo they're after comes along. Enjoy the limelight well ya can there bud. As for Perfect junior here, suffice it to say the apple feel far from the tree, rolled down a steep fucking hill and ended up by the town dump. The only thing you inherited was a receding hairline kid. You're more that slave name you wear than you're father's son, and no amount of half-assed Perfect-plexes will ever change that.

Finally, we have the new Global Champion, Seth Rollins and buddy Roman Reigns with their mall-cop gimmick. First things first, forgive me if I don't sound too impressed by the new title win their Seth. Its just with fourteen fucking titles in the company, and each of them changing hands every other week, its hard to say any of them mean a damn thing. Goodness knows Sami will probably been wearing that thing come next week's show. I'm sure mom and dad were excited to here you beat up a washed-up punch-drunk psychopath though, maybe even helped them forget you got the same haircut as the creepy fourteen year old kid lives next door. Fuck dude, have some self respect. Save that shit for Warped Tour. You're embarrassing poor Roman here, and that's saying something. Yet another talentless big man who made it through the door cause of his last name. Sure he looks like he's only good for a shampoo commercial, but rumour has it Rikishi might come back once a year for a fat man comedy match just as long as the extended family keeps a job. You can just hear Vince and HHH comparing hard-ons over that possibility from here. Too bad all the custodial spots were taken though, cause now we got Roman coming out here every week pretending he can wrestle, throwing fucking Superman punches like he's trying to be Mike Goldberg's valentine, all the while looking like he's auditioning for a damn shampoo commercial. Hope those bullet-proof vests didn't cost too much guys, cause damn it if they won't help save you from the ass-kickin' you've been asking for since you teamed up... or at least since the last time the Dudley's smacked you around the ring. Say what you will about Raw, but its consistent if nothing else. Tune in each week to see The SHIELD lose.


Enough talking though. I'm not a man who would just sit back here and run my mouth. I am sincerely looking forward to the beatdown coming your guys' way tonight. This is the first message we send to the UWF, and guaran-damn-teed, it won't be pretty.

The titantron flashes to static again as the image disappears, leaving the crowd booing louder than ever.


-----------------------
ooc: So, like, last time I played Sami Callihan, he was still a face, teaming with Brodie Lee, in the TIOC, and then Steen killed Brodie, and then there's going to be this promo on SD this week leading to the teaming of Callihan and Steen, ya know, explaining how that could work (and I promise it'll be soooooooo rad). But this match technically will happen first, thus jeopardizing the kayfabe of it all. Or, at least, it would, if it was a big deal. But its not. So don't worry about it. Thanks for understanding. Love you all.​