The Fed Zone: Reviewing WWF 1996

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #141

Date: 1 January 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center; Newark, DE (taped)
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

The step-daddy of the mac-daddy of them all! Or something like that...

Well, this year can't be worse than 1995, right? Anyway, tonight is the RAW BOWL, a one-time only special episode to bring in the new year with *many* football references that I don't know or care about as a British person. This is actually part of the taping that began with the live episode on 18 December, so this is old-old at this point. Vince and Jerry are our hosts as usual.

The Smoking Gunns def. 1-2-3 Kid & Sycho Sid (w/Ted DiBiase, Owen Hart & Yokozuna (w/Jim Cornette), and Razor Ramon & Savio Vega in the RAW Bowl (18:31 shown)
The rules here are pretty simple; it's basically a four corners elimination match with one optional time-out granted to each team (only one of which actually uses it in this match). The mat is green, Earl Hebner is dressed like an NFL referee, and each team has a different colour jersey. Okay, they have put some effort into this I suppose. On his way to the ring, Razor gets accosted by Goldust's usher to continue that feud (but no match is announced yet). Owen Hart and Bart Gunn begin the match, but Owen quickly tags in Billy to remind me about the dumbest part of four corner tag matches: team mates can fight each other. The Gunns quickly decide to just tag Owen and Yoko in at the same time. Yoko actually knocks Owen down, even though that makes little sense, so Owen tags out and brings Savio into the match. Yoko hits him with a slam and tags in Kid, who gets a near fall off a spinning heel kick. Tough break for Savio so far! Meanwhile, Jerry is being his usual creepy self at ringside with Miss RAW Bowl. Back in the ring, we get lots of tags exchanged in short order. Eventually, Savio makes it over to Razor, who takes it right to Kid and hits a fallaway slam! Kid knows what is next and pleads for a time-out, but Razor hits the Razor's edge anyway. Ha! Hebner won't count though as he's observing the time-out. Meanwhile, Sid enters and wipes out Razor with a clothesline (which the ref should probably see, as he nearly gets wiped out as well), allowing Kid to get the cover and elimination (9:43). Owen and Bart go at it again now, but Owen's diving headbutt whiffs and Bart gets over to Billy for the HOT TAG. He runs wild but Kid kicks him from the apron and allows Owen to hit a neck breaker. Owen signals Yoko to head up top for a Banzai Drop, but the Gunns engineer a last-second switcheroo and Owen goes splat! The Gunns hit a double dropkick on Yoko and send him through the ropes, before pinning Owen (14:02). Sid finally tags in and goes to work on Billy, before performing some double-team offense with Kid, whipping him across the ring into a dropkick in the corner. A clothesline leads into a REST HOLD as Sid keeps control. Billy fights out of it but eats Sid's boot and takes a leg drop, which gets two for Sid. Sid has Billy set for a chokeslam now, but everything breaks down and Razor returns to ringside, shoving Kid off the turnbuckle onto Sid himself. Billy takes advantage of the commotion and pins Sid. Hey, they actually put over their tag champs?! This was all smoke and mirrors really as the match itself played second-fiddle to the pageantry and constant football references on commentary and din't really mean anything. It wasn't bad though and moved at a fast enough pace. (**)

It's time for the RAW Bowl halftime show, as Dok Hendrix previews Diesel vs. King Mabel II later tonight and hypes up the big matches at the Royal Rumble.

Then, bizarrely, we get the full Hogpen Match from In Your House 5 between Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Henry O. Godwinn. I've already reviewed this (**1/2) in my 1995 thread, but you can read my full recap and thoughts here.

Diesel def. King Mabel (w/Sir Mo) (0:08)
If Mabel's push didn't die at IYH 5 then this was the parting shot. Mabel gets the big entrance with jobbers (hey, that's Jeff Hardy) carrying him to the ring, only for Diesel to roll in, attack from the bell, boot Mabel in the face, and pin him in less than 10 seconds. Squaaaaash. He then grabs Miss RAW Bowl off Jerry Lawler and escorts her away from the pervert. And I'm meant to think this guy has a bad attitude?! No rating here, obviously.

Backstage, Brooklyn Brawler (real name Steve Lombardi) tries to present the Lombardi Trophy to The Smoking Gunns (a funny joke for the smarks) and then gets the crap beat out of him, before getting drenched by iced tea in an awkward bit of product placement.

The Royal Rumble is coming and we have our first tranche of participants announced. There's some obvious names in there like Diesel, Owen and Bulldog, a returning Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow (who isn't actually in the match), Dory Funk Jr. (a play to build a partnership with AJPW) and, most significantly, the man known as VADER! He wasn't actually signed yet but that would change soon enough, making him the first big name to cross the border to the WWF during the Monday Night Wars.

To close out a very weird episode, we get the first edition of “Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin’ War Room”, as we meet The Huckster, Nacho Man, Scheme Gene, and Billionaire Ted. These skits begin awful silly and then get progressively more personal as Vince gets more and more backed into a corner.

Well, so much for putting your best foot forward to start the year. This was a pretty lame episode, although the RAW Bowl stuff was fine, and Diesel squashing Mabel's push was a relief. Overall though, it felt like a very thin show/taping, seeing as they had to use content from IYH5 (and will do so again next week) to fill out the show. Thumbs down.

NEXT TIME: Shawn reveals what his future holds! Jeff Jarrett takes on Hakushi!

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #142

Date: 8 January 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center; Newark, DE (taped)
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

If you're holding the Million Dollar Belt, give me a hell yeah!

Hey, new titles! The rooftop opening only lasted four months so that was definitely not a waste of time and money to film. This is also the 3rd anniversary of RAW but they never mention it so, you know. Vince and Jerry are on hand to talk us through the action.

Jeff Jarrett def. Hakushi (6:15 shown)
This is Jarrett's second match of the taping so they must have been light on material. We're definitely coming to the end of Hakushi's run soon, so this might actually be his final RAW match. Jarrett gets control of the arm early and slams Hakushi before taunting the crowd. Hakushi tries to rally, but Jeff backdrops him out the ring. Wait a minute though, Hakushi lands on his feet and returns with a shoulder block. Hakushi then nails Jarrett with a dropkick and forces him to take a breather. Hakushi gets too close to the ropes now, so Jeff trips him from the outside and then heads back inside for a clothesline, before using the rope to choke Hakushi a bit. After we come back from a break, Jeff has put Hakushi in the abdominal stretch and does the usual heel tactic of hanging on to the ropes. Hakushi works out of it though and hip tosses Jarrett, only for Double J to return with a swinging neck breaker. There's a bit of back and forth now, as both men evade each other's offence, with Jarrett getting two after Hakushi whiffs on a dropkick. Jarrett then gets another cover off a missed crossbody as Hakushi is clearly being booked into oblivion here. Jarrett then applies a SLEEPER, but Hakushi wriggles out of it and hits an uppercut on Jarrett to send him into the corner. The handspring elbow follows (which remains awesome) and leads into a flying forearm for a near fall. Hakushi then goes high again, but a splash meets Jarrett's knees. Jarrett has Hakushi where he wants him and locks up a figure-four to tap him out. This was okay and if Hakushi was heading out it makes sense to use him to put others over. Neither man looked super motivated though. (*3/4)

It's time for the Slam Jam but Dok Hendrix is nowhere to be seen! Jim Ross takes over instead and announces more names for the Rumble, including Jake Roberts! "Scheme Gene" also has some intel but won't clue us in just yet. For those unaware, this was a jab at Gene's infamous hotline which, admittedly, spewed a load of crap and ripped paying callers off.

Ahmed Johnson def. Jeff Brettler (1:32)
Yep, this jobber has the worst attire of all time! I've even included a picture below just to prove it. Ahmed wastes little time beating up this goof, hitting a gnarly suplex that doesn't look fun to take, followed by a spinebuster. Just as Brettler is gasping for air, Ahmed hooks him up for the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE and that's all she wrote. Seriously, that attire is terrible!

It's time now for The Brother Love Show and the only reason this episode holds *any* historical significance. Ted DiBiase joins Brother Love and talks about how he has been searching for his Million Dollar Champion for a year. He's found his guy and it's none other than...THE RINGMASTER! This is, of course, Steve Austin making his debut appearance on RAW in a very unfortunate gimmick. Not because it's bad as such, just very bland. Nobody really reacts or cares, which is kind of crazy to compute when you consider how mega-over this guy became. He cuts an old-school promo announcing himself for the Rumble and putting over the Million Dollar Championship. I'm sure we'll never hear from this guy again.

Goldust def. Aldo Montoya (2:17)
We cut most of Goldust's entrance before this match which feels quite self-defeating as it's not his in-ring work that's lighting any fires right now. He attacks Montoya from the bell and delivers a few stiff shots before levelling the Man o' War with a suplex. He then hits a clothesline and plays to the crowd a bit. Aldo gets a little comeback here, surprising Goldie with a backdrop, but a hip toss is reversed and Goldust finishes with the Curtain Call. Technically not a jobber match so I'll rate it, but too short to mean anything. (1/4*)

We now cut to Shawn Michaels' press conference, as he reveals he will go against his doctors' advice and enter the Royal Rumble. Well there's a surprise. He also promises to lead the WWF into the new millennium, which doesn't exactly go to plan. Other superstars give their thoughts on the news, as Owen Hart promises to put him on the shelf for good.

We now get a full (even with the blood) replay of Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog from In Your House 5. I've already reviewed this (***3/4) in my 1995 thread; you can read my full recap and thoughts here.

We now cut to a promo from The Undertaker and Paul Bearer. The creatures of the night have spoken and it's time for The Undertaker to come for the WWF Championship.

We finish another weird episode on the next instalment of the Billionaire Ted sketches, and this one cuts a bit deeper as it goes after WCW's relaxed steroids policy (and even implies Hogan and Savage are on the juice again). Watch out for the Vince Russo cameo here!

Another lame duck as this taping has been a total waste. I get it's not a super lucrative time of the year to load up your show but the level of effort being put in to these episodes is pathetic. Thank god WCW came along and woke Vince up. Anyway, it's a thumbs way down, despite the debut of Austin and not accounting for the very good Bret/Bulldog match (which I've already seen).

NEXT WEEK: Undertaker warms up for his title match at Royal Rumble by wrestling his brother a dentist!

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #143

Date: 15 January 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center; Newark, DE (taped)
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

Sunny's in a bath tub!

Last stop on the road to Royal Rumble tonight and oh lord am I glad this dead zone taping is nearly over. Vince and Jerry host as usual.

Owen Hart def. Marty Jannetty (5:57 shown)
This one has some potential, on paper. Marry grabs a hold of the arm early and keeps Owen at bay, before nailing him with a clothesline. He then applies a REST HOLD but Owen quickly works his way out of it and hits a belly-to-belly. Marty rallies and goes for a cross body, but Owen ducks that and then decks him with the brain-damaging enziguri. Owen then tries to finish it early with a Sharpshooter, but Marty kicks him away. When we come back from the break, Marty is building some momentum and hits the cool somersault bulldog thing out of the corner. Jannetty then sends Owen out the ring with a clothesline, as he'll try to do on Sunday as well. Back inside the ring, Marty attempts a suplex, but Owen wriggles out of it and applies a clever bridge to get a three count. This needed a few more minutes to really breathe but it was decent enough and these two worked hard here. (**)

Time for the Slam Jam now, but Todd is doing the honours this week. He announces the Free For All, a new one-hour pre-show before PPV events. Apparently, two Rumble participants are going to draw blanks and have to wrestle each other for the right to be #30 (or if they lose, #1) in the Rumble. That ends up being Duke Droese (where's he been all this time!) and Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Here's the final card for the show:

• 30-Man Royal Rumble Match (inc. Shawn Michaels, Diesel, British Bulldog, Owen Hart, Yokozuna, Vader and 1-2-3 Kid)
• WWF Championship: Bret Hart (c) vs. The Undertaker
• Intercontinental Championship: Razor Ramon (c) vs. Goldust
• World Tag Team Championships: The Smoking Gunns (c) vs. The Bodydonnas
• Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

We now cut to Sunny playing pool in a very skimpy outfit. Hey, I think the WWF is getting an attitude!

The Ringmaster def. Matt Hardy (4:36)
Austin's RAW debut being against Matt Hardy is a weird little nugget of history. Matt starts the stronger, actually, and gets a near fall early on, but Austin takes over with a Thesz Press and strikes away. This gets a bit too aggressive for the referee's liking and he gets into it with Austin, so Matt springs a surprise and gets two off a sunset flip. Austin recovers soon enough though and hits a knee drop for two. Matt does mount a comeback, but Austin hits an inverted suplex to keep the momentum. Austin could pin him there but wants to punish him some more and stun guns Matt on the top rope. The Million Dollar Dream is locked in shortly after and that's a wrap for a pretty long squash. Not quite delicious squash but I liked it enough.

Meanwhile, Dok Hendrix tells us Razor is in bound and wants to do some damage to Goldust!

The Smoking Gunns def. The Spiders (0:58 shown)
We join this match in progress, as Billy nearly secures a quick victory with a roll-up. One of the other Spiders tags in, but they get decked too with a Rocker Dropper from Billy. Billy then tags in Bart, who runs house and sets up for a Sidewinder to give the tag team champs some momentum heading into the Rumble. Absolutely zero build or heat for their match, though.

It's another meeting of Billionaire Ted's war room now, as he wonders how he can get his hands on more WWF New Generation superstars. This one was fairly tame, to be honest.

Interview time now, as Vince welcomes Goldust to the ring. Goldust fondles Vince a bit, which earns him a stern, disapproving look. He then asks Vince if there's an extra mic in his pants or if he's just happy to see him! Goldust then glazes Razor Ramon and continues to express an interest in him. This was a clear sign they were going to lean into the sexuality aspect of Goldie's character, which was pretty edgy for the time, I guess. Anyway, Razor has just arrived and is coming for Goldust.

The Undertaker def. Isaac Yankem DDS (6:46 shown)
Hey, it's Undertaker vs. Kane! To think, we'd see this match about a hundred more times over the next 15 years! Yankem is shaken by Taker early on and heads outside to convene with Lawler. That doesn't do him much good though, as Taker pounds him and no sells all of his strikes. He then tries for a Tombstone, but Yankem escapes. Taker follows him to the outside, while Lawler tries to yank the urn chain off Paul Bearer. Taker spots this and sends Lawler scurrying off to the back. Yankem makes the most of the distraction though and shoves Taker into the ring post. Back from a break, Yankem has Undertaker in a half crab and works the back. He then applies a bear hug as this thing *really* slows down, until Taker suplexes out of it. Yankem rallies and slams Taker, before trying to hit his own version of a Tombstone. They try the piledriver flip reversal here, but I'm going to guess they botched it as there's a really quick cut to Dok just as it's about to happen. Anyway, Taker then gets Yankem in position for the Tombstone and puts him away. Yeah, this pretty much sucked as Yankem couldn't do anything with this demon dentist character. And let's be honest, Taker / Kane matches are near-enough always bad. (1/2*)

Backstage, Dok speaks to Goldust, but Razor arrives and they have a massive brawl, until Goldie low blows Razor and runs away!

More Sunny now, as she soaks in a bath tub ala Margot Robbie in The Big Short and makes sexual references. Well this is giving me whiplash, where did this stuff come from all of a sudden?!

To finish us off, Goldust and Razor resume their brawl outside in the snow, but Goldust hops in his Cadillac and speeds off.

A slightly more interesting and varied episode than the last few weeks but still, nothing you need to see. I'll call it a slight thumbs down for now though.

NEXT WEEK: Royal Rumble fallout, and Bret Hart battles Goldust!

 

[ChristianCaged]

Royal Rumble 1996

Date: 21 January 1996
Location: Selland Arena; Fresno, CA
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Mr. Perfect

You've been warned!

The Road to WrestleMania XII begins here in...the same state where WrestleMania XII I'd taking place. Our commentary team are Vince and Mr. Perfect, who is hopefully a bit more up to speed than he was at Survivor Series.

In the Free For All, Hunter Hearst Helmsley lost via DQ to Duke Droese and will enter at #1 in the Royal Rumble. On with the show!

Ahmed Johnson def. Jeff Jarrett via DQ (6:38)
Jarrett is now carrying a guitar around with him, which ends being a gimmick that sticks. Ahmed makes chase early on here as Jeff tries to escape a beating, but his attempts at a shoulder block have no effect and Ahmed powerslams him before decking him with a clothesline. However, he's too over-zealous and misses a charge, allowing Jarrett to recover. Outside the ring, Double J takes Ahmed out with a clothesline and then whips him into the steps. Back in the ring, Jarrett gets Ahmed in a hold, but that's a mistake as the big man powers out and then gets Jarrett in a bear hug position, before sending him up for a SPINEBUSTER. Jarrett rolls to the outside to escape the pin attempt, so Ahmed says "f*** it" and does a TOPE SUICIDA over the top rope, nearly murdering Jarrett and himself on the landing. Ahmed then goes for the Harlem Hangover back in the ring, but misses and seems to hurt his knee, so Jeff pounces and locks in a figure-four. Ahmed won't die though and bats Jarrett off. Realising he's not keeping Ahmed down, Jarrett grabs his guitar and smashes it over his opponent's head for the DQ. And...that's it for Jarrett until 1997, as he heads to WCW for the less successful stint of his two runs there. The match wasn't too bad besides the screwy finish, even if Ahmed Johnson is liable to hurt himself and others performing some of the moves he's attempting. Just an opener really though and the DQ didn't take this anywhere as Jarrett left soon after. (*3/4)

Backstage, The Smoking Gunns hype up their match, which is fortunate as it has received precisely zero build on RAW. Meanwhile, Todd speaks to Diesel, who seems to be in a cheery mood. We'll see how long that lasts.

World Tag Team Championships: The Smoking Gunns (c) def. The Bodydonnas (w/Sunny) (11:13)
So, in case you haven't been watching the syndicated programming (as they haven't even been mentioned on RAW lately), Skip has formed a Bodydonnas tag team with Zip, formerly Tom Prichard of The Heavenly Bodies. He's shaved his long hair and now has a blonde buzz cut, like Skip. Speaking of whom, the original Bodydonna gets us underway with a sweet head scissors on Billy, but then gets back dropped for his trouble. Billy then goes for a charge, but Skip is wise to it and moves, sending Billy hurtling out to the floor. A fun sequence follows, as Skip and Zip flip Billy back into the ring, only for Bart to then slingshot both of them outside. Billy then flies out with a pescado! Everyone fancies a dive tonight. The Gunns are on top now and nothing is going to stop them, until Sunny interjects and causes a distraction. Zip then goes for a chopping spree, but Bart feels no pain! Bart slams Zip now, but he can't capitalise and Skip gets a blind tag to hook his partner out of trouble. The Gunns also tag and then hit a HART ATTACK on Skip! So we're playing the hits now. Sunny once again gets on the apron but this time Skip goes flying into her off a whip and she hits the floor. Billy is a gentleman so of course he checks on her, but the Bodydonnas take advantage and put the boots to him. Zip hangs onto Billy now, while Skip dives out on top of him with a plancha. Back inside, Skip drops Zip onto Billy for two, followed by a power bomb from Zip for another near fall. Skip and Zip work the heel double-team routine now and keep Billy in the corner, before hitting a flapjack that also gets two. Eventually, Billy makes it across for the hot tag and Bart runs wild! The Gunns then hit a Sidewinder, but Sunny distracts the ref and they can't get the pin, as Skip comes down hard on Bart and gets two. Skip and Zip go for a double suplex on Bart now, but Billy takes out Zip and Bart cradles Skip for three. And Sunny is devastated. This was moving along nicely and had some potential southern wrasslin' energy, but it seemed to lose steam before the end. They could have shaved a minute or two and come up with a better finish and this would have been quite good. (**3/4)

Time for a Wrasslin' War Room compilation, as we catch up on what Billionaire Ted's has been up to. You can tell Vince is real prod of these skits.

Intercontinental Championship: Goldust (w/Marlena) def. Razor Ramon (c) (14:17)
This has probably had the best build of any match on this show, with Goldust's escalating antics causing a real stir with The Bad Guy. But what's this?! Goldust is accompanied to the ring by Marlena, a sultry blonde with a cigar! So maybe it was all mind games after all? This is a pretty long match but very light on actual action. The first part is just Goldust stalling and touching Razor, how shall we say, inappropriately? Then Razor smacks his ass, which seems counterintuitive. Goldust heads out to the floor now as Razor makes chase, hiding behind Marlena to frustrate the champ. As soon as Goldust can make it inside though, Razor clotheslines him out. Goldust once again uses his woman as a human shield, until Razor simply lifts her out of the way. Goldust uses this moment to get a shot in, as he drives Razor into the steps. Back in the ring, Goldust hits a bulldog for two, before delivering a nice slingshot suplex. That also gets a near fall. Razor is flagging and to add insult to injury, Marlena blows actual gold dust in his face. Goldust now applies a sleeper, until Razor backs the ref into the corner and sneakily destroys Goldust's nether region with a kick to the balls. Razor follows up with a chokeslam and fallaway slam for two. He then gets him up for the super back suplex, only for Marlena to "injure" herself and distract the ref. This brings out 1-2-3 Kid to reignite the feud with Razor and hit a spin kick from up high. Goldust capitalises and wins the Intercontinental Championship! Well, that's a show of faith in this gimmick. This match was all story and smoke and mirrors, which will satisfy some more than others. I'm sure the workrate purists will hate it but I thought it was okay. I think they could have wrestled a bit more but Razor clearly had no interest in being in this feud. (*1/2)

Shawn Michaels won the Royal Rumble, last eliminating Diesel (58:47)

• Hunter Hearst Helmsley is #1 after losing to Duke Droese earlier and *shock* has to battle the man he's been feuding with for months, Henry O. Godwinn, who is #2.
• Godwinn beats up Hunter until Bob Backlund enters at #3, and Jerry Lawler is #4 to add to the heel overload. He goes for the slop bucket, but Godwinn wrestles it back and the heels scatter. Lawler is too slow though and gets doused with slop!
• Bob Holly is #5, which gives Godwinn a brief reprieve, as here comes King Mabel at #6! This would end up being his last appearance until later in the decade in a very different role.
• Massive pop now, as #7 is Jake Roberts! Damn, he looks a lot older than when we last saw him. He has a huge snake with him tonight and unleashes it in the ring, so everyone bails...apart from Lawler who gets covered by the snake! No luck for Jerry tonight. Fun little front ten spot there.
• Dory Funk Jr. is #8 and nobody has been eliminated yet, although Lawler has gone missing, as he's hiding under the ring
• Yokozuna is #9 and takes no prisoners, immediately dumping Backlund for the first elimination of the match. Then Godwinn gets bounced by Jake after getting the life splashed out of him by Mabel.
• 1-2-3 Kid completes the front ten at #10, but as he enters Razor Ramon makes chase and tries to get his hands on Kid, before the referees usher him away.
• Takao Omari is #11 and yep, I don't know either. Savio Vega is #12 and him and Yoko work together to get fat-ass Mabel out of the ring. Then Jake dumps Omari after nearly getting tossed himself and says thank you for coming.
• It's entry #13 and it's VADER TIME! He enters with Jim Cornette in his corner, which is a pairing I can get behind. Straight away, he stiffs a bunch of dudes, going to work on Savio after the latter eliminates Dory.
• Doug Gilbert of the USWA is #14 but her gets beaten up pretty quickly. Meanwhile, Jake goes on a DDT spree until Vader punches him and sends him tumbling over the top rope. As it happens, his pop was so good they decided to hire him for the rest of the year.
• One half of the Squat Team is #15, looking like a Sontaran from Doctor Who. He gets dumped out sharpish, right after Vader tosses Doug Gilbert. Vader running wild!
• The other half of the Squat Team is #16 and both members now decide to invade the ring together! And...Vader and Yoko eliminate them straight away. Lol!
• Owen Hart enters at #17, followed by Shawn Michaels at #18! Big pop! As HBK enters and goes to work on Hunter (I guess he's this year's Ironman), Vader dumps Savio.
• Vader now turns his attention to the other behemoth in the ring and gets into it with Yokozuna, as Jim Cornette looks on in distress at ringside. Yokozuna seems to have Vader stuck on the ropes, so Shawn sneaks in behind them and teeters them both over the rope for a double elimination! Woah!
• Outside the ring, Vader and Yoko continue to beef as Hakushi enters at #19. Vader then goes crazy and gets back in the ring, throwing every mf'er out (which doesn't count, apparently). The referees hit the ring along with Gorilla Monsoon himself and finally get Vader to leave (with some pleading from Jim Cornette). Well, that's your moment of the match right there.
• Tatanka returns after some legal trouble at #20 and he's still a grumpy heel it would seem. Meanwhile, Owen manages to eliminate Hakushi after a nice sequence.
• Into the back ten now and it's Aldo Montoya at #21. Shawn gets knocked through the ropes at this point and goes hunting for King, pulling him from under the ring and throwing him back inside. HBK then sends Lawler over the top with a punch as Tatanka dumps Montoya.
• It's Big Daddy Cool at #22, as Diesel powers his way to the ring, throwing out that geek Tatanka on arrival before going to work on Hunter Hearst Helmsley (still in there). He then has a little moment with Shawn before the heels go after them.
• Kama is #23 in his last appearance for a while and he's now bald! The Ringmaster Steve Austin follows at #24, and who would have thought that he would go on to "win" this match next year?! Holly tries to eliminate him early, but Austin reverses it and dumps Holly instead. Nice run for Bob.
• Barry Horowitz with the bar mitzvah music is #25! I'm only just realising this is the first time everyone comes out to their music (it was only #1 and #2 in previous years, I think). Finally, Helmsley is eliminated by his Kliq buddy Diesel. Funny that.
• A few more entries now to pad out the numbers in the ring, as Fatu and Isaac Yankem arrive at #26 and #27 respectively. Sadly, Horowitz's dream dies quickly, as Owen back drops him out of the ring and then hits an enziguri on Shawn! The deadliest move in sports entertainment! Owen then goes to eliminate Shawn but Diesel cuts him off and Owen gets dumped instead.
• Marty Jannetty is #28, followed by Bulldog at #29 as Austin is looking dominant out there. I'd say he was always likely to get a push but I doubt it would have worked out with this Ringmaster gimmick. And just as I type that, Fatu clotheslines him out the ring, right after Bulldog sends Marty for an early shower.
• Yankem eliminates Fatu next with a clothesline as we count down to #30 and, of course, it's the Dumpster. Meanwhile, Bulldog and Shawn go to the floor and start brawling, which brings Owen out for the double team as that feud continues. Bulldog then takes Shawn back inside and tries to press slam him over the rope, but Diesel saves his pal.
• Shawn eliminates Yankem next, while Diesel and Kama collude to dump the Dumpster. Droese is gone and we're down to our final four! Shawn, Diesel, Bulldog and Kama (well one of those guys definitely isn't winning).
• Shawn gets knocked outside by Bulldog, but manages to slide back in and send him over the top rope. Meanwhile, Diesel dumps Kama and we're down to two! But not for long, as before Diesel can even steady himself, Shawn whomps him with Sweet Chin Music and sends him flying over the top. HBK wins!
• Post-match, Diesel seems absolutely dejected and you smell a turn coming, but he gets back inside and allows Shawn to hit the high-high-five and exits, letting HBK have his moment. So I guess they're still friends, for now.

There's actually some fun moments in the first two thirds of this Rumble, especially the Snake return and Vader's demolition derby. Unfortunately, the last third and final four all felt like a bit of a procession, as it was super obvious Shawn was going over and the crowd reacted as such. Just an average Rumble really. (**1/2)

WWF Championship: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def. Bret Hart (c) via DQ (28:30)
I'd wager this is a first-time match, although Bret was on the opposing team when Taker debuted at Survivor Series so they have thrown down before. As Taker enters, Diesel is still sulking in the aisle and gets into it with Deadman, before getting escorted away. Busy night for the stooges! Anyway, Taker gets hold of Bret early and chokes him in the corner, setting the methodical pace that most of this match will follow. After a long time keeping Bret subdued in the corner, Taker kicks it up a notch and goes upstairs for OLD SCHOOL. Bret then rallies, clotheslining Taker outside before hitting him with a pescado over the top rope! Now we're talking. He then makes the error of going for a dive off the apron, as Taker catches and drives him into the post. Bret looks shell-shocked, but recovers to send Undertaker hard into the steps, as Perfect sells the impact on the knees. Smartly, Bret goes after the legs now and tries to lock in a figure-four, which Taker just about escapes from, only to receive more punishment. Taker then manages to throw Bret outside and starts choking him with some ringside cables! Bearer then distracts the ref, as Taker uses the edge of a chair to inflict more pain. Taker is clearly working the heel role then. He sends Bret inside and goes for a big boot, but Bret ducks it and goes back to work on the legs. In a classic move, Bret heads outside and wraps Taker's legs around the ring post, for extra suffering. Taker works out of that soon enough and hits Bret with a leg drop / clothesline combo, before picking up Bret for the Tombstone. Bret wriggles out of it though as Undertaker's legs fail him. Bret then hits a DDT and has Taker down, only for him to sit up! More offense follows, but Taker won't stay down. Bret does keep him down with a back breaker and connects with the middle rope elbow. Bret then goes for the cover, but Taker grabs his throat and Bret has to escape. Resorting to some heel tactics himself, Bret releases a turnbuckle pad and takes off Undertaker's freaky mask (this might actually be the last time Taker wears it), before slamming his face into the exposed steel! He does it again to boos and goes for a charge, only for Taker to twist him around to hit a Tombstone! He gets two and then the count breaks, as Diesel has yanked Hebner out of the ring! The referee then disqualifies Bret and he retains the title as a result. Way to make your face champion look strong there, Vince. Diesel gives Taker the finger and leaves. Yeah, I wasn't feeling this one much, even putting the crappy finish aside. It takes forever to get going and Taker is still too married to his gimmick to really kick it up a gear. At nearly a half hour, it's way too dragged out. (**1/4)

Vinnie Mac and Perfect react to the events of the night and we're out of here!

Overall

I have hopes that 1996 will be a lot better than 1995 (and already some current and future stars like Vader and Austin have debuted), but this show had the odour of the previous year all over it. Nothing about this show is *that* bad, but very little of it is any good either. We'll call it a 3/10, which might be the lowest I've scored a Rumble event to this point.

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #144

Date: 22 January 1996
Location: Stockton Memorial Auditorium; Stockton, CA
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

Who needs a 100 men to fight a Gorilla when you have Vader?!

Sunny is trying to poison the minds of our youth again to open the show, and I for one am disgusted. Following a summary of the Royal Rumble last night, and the announcement that Bret vs. Diesel at In Your House 6 will be inside a STEEL CAGE, Vince and Jerry welcome us to the show. Also, IT'S VADER TIME!

Vader (w/Jim Cornette) def. Savio Vega (3:01)
Oh man, they really threw poor Savio to the wolf here. Vader gets Savio cornered almost immediately and just wails at him with stiff punches that look NO FUN to take. Savio gets a brief moment of respite after evading a Vader charge into that same corner, before kicking the big man right in the chops to send him toppling out of the ring. Vader recovers quickly though and, like a grizzly bear, drags Savio out of the ring, before stun-gunning him on the metal barricade. Back in the ring, an avalanche splash connects, which Vader follows up with a VADER BOMB to win the match. Pretty standard squash here with Savio sacrificed to put the new super-heel over. There's not much to this but it was a fun beatdown. (*)

Shock horror, Vader isn't done there and goes up high for another Vader Bomb, which is enough for the referees to try and intervene. Big mistake, as Vader doesn't respect the uniform and punches one out, before hitting another (I'm pretty sure it's Jack Doan) with a power bomb. Cornette is trying to talk some sense into Vader as Gorilla Monsoon emerges and gets in his face, before suspending him! He maybe should have waited to make that call, as Vader says f*** it and looks for a fight, which Gorilla gives him in the form of some old man chops. Vader then avalanches him in the corner and hits a Vader Bomb on the WWF President! What?! He goes for another but HBK and Razor head out to save the day and Vader finally scatters. After a break, Vader is still going crazy backstage and declares war on the WWF. Just an insanely hot angle here that was the shot in the arm RAW has needed lately to compete with WCW. And funnily enough, this show actually beat Nitro after being trounced last week.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley def. Razor Ramon via count out (5:59 shown)
Now without the gold, Razor has some momentum to try and rebuild. Meanwhile, Hunter is now being escorted to the ring by a beautiful lady, which is all the rage at the moment. Razor goes for Hunter early on here following an inset promo by DiBiase and 1-2-3 Kid calling Razor a baby who should wear a diaper. Oh, I don't like where this is going at all. Razor gets quite a few licks in on the blue blood, but Hunter smartly pulls the rope down as Razor makes a charge and sends him outside. Back from a break, Hunter flies under the ropes with a baseball slide and seems a little more aggressive than usual tonight. He then manages to suplex Razor back in from the apron and crotch him on the rope. After a period of dominance by Hunter, Razor is down on the mat when Kid heads out and puts a baby bottle in Razor's mouth. That is quite enough for the Bad Guy, who bats off HHH before chasing Kid out of the arena. So it's a count out victory then for Hunter, who is still yet to be pinned or submitted in a singles match. Before Hunter can celebrate too long though, Razor heads back and tries to hit the Razor's Edge. HHH wriggles free though and escapes with his bosom buddy. There was some intensity here but this was too short to really evolve into a proper match and never got going. (*1/4)

The "final" edition of the Wrasslin' War Room now, as Ted decides he's had enough of copying WWF's ideas and wants to form some of his own. Wow, this is going to look really silly in a few months' time. Scheme Gene has an idea, but you'll need to ring his hotline to find out. Yeah, this one was lame.

It's interview time now, as Vince McMahon welcomes Shawn Michaels to the ring. He's happy to win the Rumble and go to WM XII, but he's got some unfinished business to take care of re: Owen Hart. It wasn't Owen who took him out says HBK, but nine guys in Syracuse (who Shawn casually threatens in a pretty weird moment). Cornette heads down to the ring now and refuses Shawn's request for a match, until he suggests he'll give Cornette / Owen whatever they want. Cornette snaps at the chance to steal Shawn's Mania title shot and HBK consults the crowd before agreeing to put it on the line. So it's settled, Shawn vs. Owen at IYH6. I can dig that. Shawn then lobs Jim over the ropes for shits and giggles.

Bret Hart def. Goldust (w/Marlena) (5:42 shown)
Hey, Marlena now has a name! This is champion vs. champion but non-title, and oh my word do they not make a big deal out of this scenario at all. We get things going, as Goldust does some more fondling to the tune of homophobic chanting. Then we go to a break already! Back from the commercials, Bret is in control until Goldust gets a choke, before working Bret's arm for a bit. Bret works out of that though and sends Goldie to the outside, as we go to another commercial! What is going on. Back from the break, Goldust hits a double-axe and goes back to work on Bret's arm, so Hitman gets aggressive and strikes back, before dragging Goldust's face across the rope. Feel the burn! Goldust rallies and goes for a figure-four ala Dusty, but Bret boots him to the floor. Goldust has seen enough now and tries to jet, but Razor is still around and pissed off, so punches Goldust in the face to keep him at ringside. Back in the ring Hart hits a leg drop and Goldust cowers away, as we go to ANOTHER BREAK! And I thought the ads were bad now! In the final segment, Bret hits a flying clothesline and then decks Goldust with a Russian leg sweep. That sets up the Sharpshooter and Goldust has to tap. Three breaks is pretty wild and meant we barely got to watch any of this. Anyway, Bret gets to be the first guy to bear Goldust on TV, which is an apology of sorts for booking him so badly last night. (3/4*)

Post-match, Vince grabs a quick word with Bret, who is pissed off with Diesel and looks forward to fighting him in the cage at In Your House. And that's all we've got time for.

Obviously the opening match / angle is the star here, while the rest was just kind of there. It's such a strong angle though that it just about makes this a thumbs in the middle, leaning up.

NEXT TIME: It's SUPER MONDAY! Shawn tackles Yokozuna, while Diesel touches down with British Bulldog.

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #145

Date: 29 January 1996
Location: Stockton Memorial Auditorium; Stockton, CA (taped)
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

This President's mania is not confined to the ring!

We're taped from Stockton this week. Vince and Jerry are on hand, as usual, to call the action. Vader is gone following the attack on Gorilla last week, but returns in a few months after his shoulder surgery.

Diesel def. The British Bulldog (w/Jim Cornette & Yokozuna) (6:11 shown)
Well it can't be worse than their match at In Your House 4 I suppose. Diesel comes out swinging with this new attitude of his (he's still a babyface for the most part) and nails Davey with a bunch of clotheslines to get us going. Bulldog then ducks outside and trips Diesel, before dragging his knee over to the post and giving it some TLC. Back inside, Bulldog keeps working the knee as Yokozuna arrives at ringside. Back from a break, Davey is still delivering punishment to Diesel's knee. When he gets the chance, Bulldog releases the turnbuckle pad and tries to smash Diesel face-first into it, but the big man counters and jams Bulldog's face into it instead. He follows that up with SNAKE EYES and goes for the pin, but Cornette has the ref distracted. This gives Yoko an opening to head inside and drop the leg, but Diesel moves and Bulldog takes the full force of Yokozuna's ass! Diesel covers again and this time he gets the three. This was pretty bland but short enough to be more bearable than their last encounter. And, I suppose, the finish builds some intrigue about the future of Camp Cornette. (*1/4)

It's time for the Slam Jam, as Dok Hendrix previews the upcoming In Your House 6 PPV. Bret cuts a promo with a black eye, reminding us that he doesn't lose cage matches! Also on the card is Razor vs. 1-2-3 Kid in a Crybaby Match, where the loser will have to wear a diaper! Oh good lord. This was the final straw for Waltman, who hated this match idea and would leave the company pretty soon.

That segment leads into Billionaire Ted's press conference, as he fields questions from "journalists" about why he's trying to put the WWF out of business. The Huckster and Nacho Man are also on hand to do some posing, while Huckster reminds us that his contract won't allow him to lose. Hilariously, just as this was airing, Hogan lost to Flair on Nitro (not clean, but whatever). You have to know that Vince would only go for this sort of thing if he felt genuinely felt threatened.

The Godwinns (w/Hillbilly Jim) def. The Body Donnas (w/Sunny) (2:18)
So this is the RAW debut of Phineas I. Godwinn, as they desperately needed tag teams and Henry wasn't exactly getting pushed as a single. Phineas would later become Mideon (and then Naked Mideon), of course. This one is done in a flash, as Skip and Zip go for a double team early, only for HOG to be too strong for the both of them. He tags in Phineas now, who fends off both of Sunny's men and hits the Slop Drop on Skip for a quick victory. Post-match, Sunny finds herself caught in a do-si-do with the hog farmers until she can escape up the ramp. Barely a match, which is funny as they would face off again at WrestleMania Free-for-All with a very different result. (1/4*)

We get a retrospective now of Vader's heinous actions from last week. However, Jim Cornette's lawyer Clarence Mason has a different opinion and highlights the fact that Gorilla put his hands on Vader first. They will be doing various lawyerings to get Vader reinstated as soon as possible. I mean, even if he was defending himself against Monsoon, he still attacked a bunch of referees.

Speaking of Gorilla, Vince is in the ring to announce the new acting WWF President in Gorilla's absence: none other than ROWDY RODDY PIPER! Hit the bagpipes. Roddy has some fun big-leaguing Vince McMahon, before trying to introduce some rules and then thinking better of it. He's here to bring order and justice though. And to cap it off, he puts Vince in an Airplane Spin. I guess Roddy was at a loose end and needed the pay day, although this would be the last stuff he'd do in the company before bouncing to WCW.

We now get a vignette from a strange man called "Mankind" who is seemingly missing an ear, but he does tell us to "have a nice day". Well, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him!

Shawn Michaels def. Yokozuna (w/Jim Cornette & Owen Hart) (7:57 shown)
Early dominance for Yokozuna is expected here, but Shawn rallies with a bunch of strikes to send Yoko scrambling out through the ropes. Just for safety, Owen Hart arrives and now Shawn has to play the dreaded numbers game. Back from the break, Shawn comes off the top for a flying moonsault press that gets a near fall. Yoko bounces back though, whipping HBK out to the floor in a customarily extravagant bump so that Owen can take advantage and run him into the post. Shawn milks the injury from that beats the count. Unfortunately, he runs right into Yokozuna, who locks in a nerve hold on Shawn so that he can take a breather. Shawn works out of that, but Yoko drops him with an elbow and it's time for another commercial. After the break, Yoko whiffs on a leg drop and Shawn fires back, hitting numerous flying forearms to eventually take Yoko off his feet. Shawn then goes high for a double-axe, but Yoko catches him and drives him into the corner. Cornette then tries to distract the ref, while Yoko holds Shawn in place for one of Owen's devastating kicks. Unlucky though, as Shawn moves just in time and Owen clocks Yoko. Shawn follows up with some Sweet Chin Music and pins Yokozuna. Hey, this was pretty good for a big man vs. little man match. As ever, HBK does a great job of working around his opponent's limitations. (**1/2)

Afterwards, it looks like Camp Cornette may just explode, but Bulldog heads out and manages to cool things off. All three men then decide to set themselves on Shawn, until Diesel rushes out to even up the odds. Cornette is irate and decides to challenge the Dudes with Attitudes to a tag team match, next week! And that's all for this episode.

A slight step down this week as nothing was coming close to that Vader angle last time out, but there was enough happening on this episode between Piper's return, the decent main event and a tease of dissension in the ranks of Cornette's group to make it a decent watch. Thumbs in the middle.

NEXT WEEK: Bret Hart goes back to war with the Deadman! Also, Shawn and Diesel team up to take on Cornette's crew!

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #146

Date: 5 February 1996
Location: Stockton Memorial Auditorium; Stockton, CA
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

You get a PPV rematch, and you get a PPV rematch and you get a PPV rematch!

It's the go-home episode for In Your House 6, as RAW is pre-empted for the dog show next week. Vince and Jerry are here, as ever, to call the action.

Shawn Michaels & Diesel def. The British Bulldog & Yokozuna (w/Jim Cornette) via count out (10:53 shown)
This was the IYH3 main event in September of 1995. You know, the one where Diesel pinned somebody who wasn't in the match? Davey shows off his power early, sending Shawn to the outside, so HBK changes tact and uses his speed and guile to out-manoeuvre Bulldog, even gouging the eyes on a press-slam attempt. He then tries for a roll-up, but Bulldog blocks it. So, Shawn clotheslines him over the top yet. He skins the cat, but Yokozuna is waiting for him behind and whips him into Diesel. No issue, as Diesel catches and launches Shawn at Yoko to take the big man down. Diesel then rocks Yoko with a punch, and he falls through the ropes. Back inside, Diesel and Yokozuna officially tag in, and Yoko hits a Samoan Drop, but misses an elbow drop on the follow-up. Shawn tags in now, but Yoko sends him flying into the rope Davey has lowered and he topples to the floor. Bulldog launches HBK into the steps outside, before rolling him back in for more punishment. Bulldog then tags in and hits the vertical suplex on Shawn. Back from a break, Shawn is still under the thumb of the heels, as Yoko has him in a nerve hold. After some more double-teaming, Yoko goes for a splash but misses and that gets the hot tag to Big Daddy Cool. He hits a big boot on both Bulldog and Yokozuna and then heads to the corner for Shawn to hit the shoulder splash. That gets our first near fall, as Bulldog comes in for a leg drop, only for HBK to move and cause Yoko to get nailed instead. Diesel then clotheslines Davey out and Shawn tees up Sweet Chin Music on Yoko, kicking his head off and sending him to the floor. Yoko can't recover and that's it, a count out win for the babyfaces. This was okay, but Shawn vs. Bulldog is the partnership you want to see here and we only got it for a few minutes. Also, you couldn't have just jobbed Yoko again here instead of giving us a non-finish? (**1/4)

Post-match, Cornette gets in Yokozuna's face and berates him, but Yokozuna snaps! He attacks Jim, but Owen heads out and along with Davey, they begin to beat down Yoko. It doesn't go their way though, as Yoko goes berserk and they all bounce. And just like that, Yokozuna is babyface for the first time. Fuji won't know what to do with himself.

Another "Mankind" promo now. Have a nice day!

The 1-2-3 Kid (w/Ted DiBiase) def. Hakushi (8:36 shown)
These guys had a "banger" at SummerSlam 1995 and now they're going at it again. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess this is Hakushi's last RAW match? He was a ray of light in a very dark period. It's a back and forth opening, but Hakushi gets the first major blow in with a kick that sends Kid outside. We get a SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP tease, but Kid moves like the spoil sport he is. Hakushi gets sent outside next, and he isn't fast enough to out the way of a plancha from Kid. Sick! Back inside, Kid kicks the shit of Hakushi before launching a running dropkick into the corner. Back from a break, Kid is about to launch another aerial manoeuvre, but gets the soul knocked out of him as Hakushi times a dropkick perfectly as Kid flies through the air. Hakushi follows up with a handspring elbow and flying chop for two. Kid then rolls outside, so Hakushi hits a springboard dive to the floor, which wakes the crowd up. Hakushi then sends Kid back inside and delivers a flying shoulder block, but it takes him too long to get the pin and Kid escapes. Kid rallies now, hitting a spinning heel kick, only to get caught in a roll-up sequence with Hakushi. Then, the two men go high, as Hakushi executes a perfect FRANKENSTEINER for a near fall. Hakushi goes high once more, but Kid meets him there and hits a butterfly superplex for the win. You give these guys close to 10 minutes, they will have a good match. It's that easy. This wasn't quite as excellent as their match at SummerSlam 1995, but still a very good TV match. (***1/4)

Meanwhile, Cornette and Mason are still threatening to sue if Vader is not reinstated! Vince then holds an interview via satellite with Gorilla Monsoon, who apologises for his actions but doesn't feel bad for suspending Vader. He says he'll be back at WM XII.

The Slammy's are coming! Cast your votes!

WWF Championship: Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker was fought to a no contest (10:00 shown)
As in their previous match, Undertaker uses his physical power to dominate the early exchanges and chokes Bret a bunch. Thrilling stuff. He then decides to have some fun and heads up top for OLD SCHOOL, but Diesel heads out to ringside at a bad moment and Bret slams him off the ropes. Meanwhile, Diesel takes a seat with the commentary team. Bret then goes to work on Taker's knee and man, I feel like I'm getting deja vu from their last match. Back from the commercial break, Undertaker heads up high again and this time lands OLD SCHOOL. He follows up with flying clothesline and sets Bret up for a Tombstone, but knocks the referee silly in the process and chaos reigns. Bret takes advantage and heads outside, slamming Taker's knee into the post while taunting Diesel. Big Daddy Cool ain't into that, so he rams Bret into the post as a proverbial middle finger. Undertaker doesn't value Diesel's involvement, so he gets into it with the former champ and ends up getting a chair in the back as punishment. Diesel then follows up with two Jackknife power bombs to Taker and we go to a break with a lot of uncertainty around the status of the match. As we come back, we hear that it's a "draw" (effectively a no contest) and that's one way to finish it. This was just a clipped version of the Rumble match with all the boring bits and none of the fun, plus an obvious no contest / cop out finish that was obviously coming in some form or another. (*)

We wrap up with the continuation of the Billionaire Ted press conference, as he answers more questions from the crowd of journalists. This one ends up getting far more personal, as it references Turner's relationship with his father and stuff like that. We then end on an advertisement about Ted wasting shareholders' money that the newspapers have apparently rejected. Weird finish to this show.

Like recent weeks, this was a watchable episode with a pair of okay/good matches, a face turn, the continuation of the Vader saga, and a major main event (that was, admittedly, not very good). Thumbs in the middle overall, but leaning up.

NEXT WEEK: The fallout from In Your House 6!

 

[ChristianCaged]

In Your House 6

Date: 18 February 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens; Louisville, KY
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

Rage in the Cage!

Sunny in a bikini says viewer discretion is advised! A video package follows, and then it's time to hit the jazzy In Your House theme music!

Our hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler, making this feel like a vamped-up episode of RAW.

Razor Ramon def. The 1-2-3 Kid (w/Ted DiBiase) in a Crybaby Match (12:04)
After their issues began back in September, we finally bring this Razor/Kid feud to a head. Normal rules apply here, but the loser has to wear a diaper or some shit. Kid no-showed a bunch of events in protest at this stipulation and honestly, can you blame him?! Razor makes chase early but Kid is nippy and manages to avoid him, instead getting the upper hand with a springboard clothesline. Kid then lays in a bunch of kicks to Razor, including the spinning heel variety to keep up the heat. That's not quite enough to keep The Bad Guy down though, as he catches Kid in the corner and delivers a fallaway slam. That should set up a Razor's Edge, but Kid wriggles free and bails to the floor. DiBiase has an evil scheme cooking, and gets a load of baby powder in hand before throwing it in Razor's eyes as he comes to the ropes. The referee sees it all pretty much and doesn't seem to mind. Kid takes advantage and drops Razor with a missile dropkick, but it only gets two. Kid keeps up the momentum with a series of leg drops and then hits a flying splash for another near fall. Everything comes to a screeching halt now, as Kid applies a SLEEPER to Razor and...this goes on for a while. He takes Razor to the brink with it, but the crowd chants help revive him and he breaks out of the hold by crotching Kid on the ropes. Razor builds up a head of steam now and hits Kid with a flurry of strikes, so Kid goes up for a flying body press that Razor rolls through for a near fall. Kid does get a near fall himself off a spin kick, but Razor replies with a MEGA FALLAWAY SLAM from the top that puts his Kliq buddy down. DiBiase has seen enough and tries to distract the ref, but Razor spots Kid going for the baby powder and kicks it in his face! A Razor's Edge follows, but Razor picks Kid up a hits another one for luck before ending it for good. As per the stipulation, Razor (quite unenthusiastically) puts a diaper on 1-2-3 Kid and covers him in baby powder. I guess he knew that would be humiliating for his pal. As he leaves the ring, we see Kid is crying like a baby as well! Silly gimmick aside, this was your usual solid-if-unspectacular match from Razor and Kid. Razor looked like he was half-assing it most of the way though. I could have done without the long sleeper spot too but overall, not bad. (**1/2)

Backstage, Ray Rougeau and Sunny are on hand at the WWF Superstar Line, where Jake Roberts introduced his snake to Sunny earlier. No phallic metaphor at all there. Speaking of which, Jake defeated Tatanka on the Free for All. Bad night for DiBiase I guess.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley def. Duke Droese (9:40)
A rematch of last month's Free for All contest here, which Droese won by DQ. That clearly pissed off Hunter, as he attacked Duke on Superstars with a trash can and cut his hair. So Duke has shaved it all off and is now rocking a crewcut. Meanwhile, Hunter is escorted to the ring by a buxom blonde, who looks suspiciously like a dolled-up Sweet Dee. I suppose it only makes sense in a match featuring The Trash Man. Duke hits hard early on and clearly has a score to settle, levelling Hunter with a press slam and big boot. Hunter then gets a sneaky cheap shot in on Duke and sets up for the Pedigree, but Dumpster back drops out of it. Hunter then back drops Droese, this time out of the ring completely. Back inside, Hunter drops Duke and hits a big knee drop for a near fall. Hunter seems to be in control here, but Duke rallies and both men collide in the middle, so the ref counts. Hunter gets to his feet first, but Duke catches him for a spinebuster and follows up with a Trash Compactor. Definitely one of the more underappreciated finishers in WWF history. That should be enough for a pin and surprise victory, but the garbageman is not known for his intelligence and decides to head outside for his trash can rather than winning the match. The referee cuts him off though, and Hunter takes advantage of the distracted referee to nail Duke in the head with the trash can lid (which has fallen quite conveniently in the middle of the ring). That's enough for a three count as Hunter steals a victory. This really should have been a RAW match or whatever but it was fine and rarely slowed down. Duke had size and some ring presence, so I'm surprised they didn't at least try to repackage him for the Attitude Era. (*3/4)

Backstage, Dok Hendrix interviews Yokozuna, who will speak without a manager for the first time. This makes it abundantly clear that he is not, in fact, Japanese. BONZAI!

Yokozuna def. The British Bulldog (w/Jim Cornette) via DQ (5:00)
RAW was pre-empted the week just gone so I never saw this announced but obviously it leads on from Yoko's face turn and the betrayal of the rest of Camp Cornette. Yokozuna has some early fire here and drops Bulldog with a series of clotheslines, but Davey Boy is made of strong stuff and battles back with some clotheslines of his own, before choking Yoko on the ropes. Bulldog then gets crushed in the corner, which puts him in position for a Bonzai Drop, but Jim Cornette pulls him outside to escape. Yoko heads out after Bulldog, but ends up running into the post for his trouble. Back in the ring, Bulldog hits a single-axe for two, but Yoko rallies and hits a devastating Samoan Drop. He follows that with the belly-to-belly suplex, at which point Cornette has seen enough and triggers the DQ by cracking Yokozuna over the back with his tennis racket. Just a means to an angle, but you could tell already that Yoko's body was not going to sustain any kind of singles push. (1/2*)

Post-match, Cornette continues to whack Yoko with the racket, but it has no effect! At that point, Vader returns in street clothes (but still wearing the mask) to join in the beatdown and (with some help from Bulldog) handcuffs Yoko to the rope! The referees and stooges try to break things up, but the heels beat Yoko down until he's on his knees and then get out of dodge. I feel like they wanted this to be a big, heat-generating angle, but the fans didn't care enough about babyface Yoko yet to really get invested in this.

Backstage, Goldust is on the AOL Live Chat! Also, Todd grabs a word with HBK as we set up our next match of the evening.

Shawn Michaels def. Owen Hart (w/Jim Cornette) (15:57)
In perhaps the biggest hat tip to a result ever, whoever wins this gets the main event WWF Championship match at WrestleMania. And Shawn is clearly up for it as he makes his entrance from the roof of the house set, swinging down on a rope while Vince has some kind of orgasm over his charisma on commentary. Shawn is a man of the people these days and after he ejects Owen from the ring so he can complete his entrance, he heads outside to meet with his "Kliq". Owen then tries to do the same thing for some reason but everyone blows him off (haha) and Shawn hits him with a dive just to rub salt in the wound. Back inside, HBK gets an early near fall off the double axe and then tools around, pulling Owen's hair while the referee is distracted by Cornette's protests at ringside. That leads into a sweet double kip-up spot, but Shawn gets the better of Owen with a rana and keeps up the momentum. Owen reverses that though with the whiplash belly-to-belly and neckbreaker combo, which gets him two. Owen then decides to try for a Sharpshooter, but it's too early and Shawn powers out of it, only to run into Owen's knee for another near fall. A quick REST HOLD now from Owen, but Shawn fights out. Straight away though, he's flattened by a flying leg from Owen that sends him outside. And, just as Shawn makes it back inside, Owen levels him with a missile dropkick for two. After a quick pin attempt by Shawn, Owen lays him out again with a leg lariat and goes back to the Sharpshooter. This time he locks it in, but HBK gets to the rope to break the hold. Owen is so mad about this he actually blows snot in Shawn's direction, but HBK doesn't mind and just rolls him up for two in response. At this point, Owen has had enough and decides to twat Shawn in the head with the most dangerous move in wrestling: the enziguri! Shawn rolls outside off this and sells it like he's been shot, so Owen throws him back inside and covers. And Shawn kicks out at two! Owen then misses the mark on a corner charge and HBK amps up. He goes high and comes down hard for a very clean elbow drop, before knocking Cornette off the apron, ducking another enziguri attempt and (finally) nailing Owen with SWEET CHIN MUSIC to get the three count. Cue the celebrations, as Shawn is going to Mania (again)! This was just an average match by HBK and Owen's standards, not really hitting that next gear both men are capable of. By most people's standards though, it was pretty great and very little time was wasted throughout. I think they maybe sprinted to a finish a bit too quickly but this was a lot of fun overall. (***3/4)

It's interview time on the stage now (what is this, 1987) as the new Interim President of the WWF, Rowdy Roddy Piper, joins Todd Pettengill. He's here to confirm some plans for Mania, ribbing Vader and his mask in the process. Shawn vs. Bret is a lock (although no word on the Ironman stipulation yet), as is Vader vs. Yokozuna (which gets changed). Cornette and Mason appear now to confront Piper over his booking, so we get a pretty cool stand-off on the mic between two of the greats. Overall though, this was too long and could have been clipped to give Owen and HBK more time for their match.

WWF Championship: Bret Hart (c) def. Diesel in a Steel Cage Match (19:20)
In case you're wondering, we're still rocking with the big, bulky cage design of yore (for a few more years at least). Bret is the main aggressor early, as he runs Diesel into the cage and targets the leg, before climbing the structure. It's way too early though, so Diesel catches up to him and takes him down to the mat, before ramming Bret into the cage. Diesel is the de-facto "heel" here and so he's going to walk out the door, but not right now as Bret crotches him with the top rope as he makes his escape. Realising he needs to grind Diesel down a bit more before climbing again, Bret wails at him with a bunch of strikes, until Diesel clotheslines him and hits a side slam. That puts Diesel in control, but not for long, as the following elbow misses. We now get a sequence of near escapes, followed by more limb work, followed by more near escapes. It's all very tedious and has nothing close to the charged atmosphere that made a similar cage match (in theory) between Bret and Owen work so well. As we move along, Diesel injures the knee himself on a charge and Bret goes ham, connecting with an elbow drop from the middle rope. Bret then gets the closest anyone has to winning the match, actually passing to the outside of the cage, so Diesel has to desperately drag him back inside by the hair. With all that grease in it, I'm surprised he could get enough grip! Diesel then gets more aggressive, hurling Bret into the cage. That sets up a Snake Eyes attempt, but Bret wriggles out of it and shoves Diesel into the cage. Bret then goes to the side Russian leg sweep as this thing enters its climactic stages before going all the way to the top for an elbow drop. As he climbs again, Diesel rises and punishes Bret's groin with a savage low blow, but the crowd doesn't care and still seems to like Diesel better. Diesel claws his way to the door now and seems to be a shoe-in as Bret gets kicked away, but a hole is ripped in the ring and Undertaker emerges! He drags Diesel down into the hole as smoke billows out of it (a slightly cheesy and unnecessary spooky touch), so Bret climbs and wins the belt, not that he really feels like a champion at this point. If it wasn't already obvious, I did not like this *at all* even though it was technically fine, I suppose. I think Bret and Diesel's other matches are great, but this didn't work: the crowd weren't invested, the escape formula became tiresome quickly, and it just wasn't violent enough. A creative finish saves some grace. (*1/2)

As we go off the air, Undertaker poses atop the cage while Diesel looks on and seethes. Bret has just disappeared and could not matter less, despite holding onto the belt.

Overall

Not a bad show here, as Shawn vs. Owen was really good and nothing stunk the place out, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it. This is every bit the filler show between Rumble and Mania that it seemed like it would be. We'll go down the middle and call it a 5/10.

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #147

Date: 19 February 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens; Cincinnati, OH
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

The Road to WrestleMania begins...

It's the night after In Your House and we have six episodes of RAW to go until WMXII. We're live this week, with Vince and Jerry on the call as usual.

Intercontinental Championship: Razor Ramon def. Goldust (c) (w/Marlena) via count out (5:34 shown)
With The 1-2-3 Kid now dispatched, Razor can turn his attention back to Goldust. Usual spectacular entrance by Goldust, but Razor interrupts it and goes to work as the bell rings. Goldust is all in a daze, so Razor clotheslines him over the top. Back in the ring, Goldust tries some mind games only for Razor to spit in his face, which is too kinky for the bizarre one apparently. Goldust loses his cool briefly and runs right into a Razor's Edge attempt, but manages to escape and bails to the floor. Back from a break, Razor meets Goldust on the top turnbuckle, before doing a full-send fallaway slam to launch Goldust out of the ring! A back suplex from the turnbuckle follows and Goldust is all at sea, but he sees an opening and runs up the aisle with Marlena to give Razor a count out victory, but deprive him of the title. A lame finish for sure, but this was probably the best Goldust has looked since arriving, and Razor seemed more energised than he has been lately too. (**)

Following the match, which is actually the last one Scott Hall would have on RAW until 2002, he gets in a live mic and says he wants Goldust's ass! Hey, maybe Goldust wore him down. He's not interested in the title any more, but he does want another match and tells "Roddy Rowdy Piper" to book it (chico).

The Ultimate Warrior will return soon! How's that New Generation going, Vince? Meanwhile, Undertaker has woken up and leaves his casket backstage like a vampire after sunset.

This week's Slam Jam is just a recap of IYH6. Yawn.

Next up is supposed to be The Bodydonnas vs. Aldo Montoya & Barry Horowitz, but scrap that as VADER is back and he's pissed. Aldo and Barry are total victims here as Vader runs through them. He'll be facing Yoko at WMXII (not exactly).

Now we get a full Warrior montage, although these are old clips and there's about a 0% chance he moves anything like that when he returns. I guess Vince must have felt truly desperate to go to that well again.

Now, Sunny sings happy birthday to the President in a Marilyn Monroe bit. Is this actually leading anywhere or were the WWF just begging for horny dudes to watch the show?!

"The Ringmaster" Steve Austin (w/Ted DiBiase) def. Marty Jannetty (5:12 shown)
Bob Backlund is canvassing in the crowd ahead of this one, so we're still dragging that storyline along until the election in November I guess. Meanwhile, Marty has formed a New Rockers tag team with a partner still to be revealed (or at least they didn't mention the name Leif Cassidy, a.k.a. Al Snow, here). They will be competing in a tournament to decide the new World Tag Team Champions, as The Smoking Gunns have relinquished the belts through injury. In a final bit of news, Austin is fully bald now and even gets referred to as "Stone Cold" on commentary. Jannetty steals a pin early here and tries to use his agility to outflank Austin, but Austin catches him and fires him onto the rope for a stun gun, before taking over. Back from a break, Marty flies off the top but hits the knees and Austin works him over with a bunch of technical stuff (he wasn't always a brawler), culminating in an STF. Jannetty eventually works his way out of the submission attempts a back suplex, but Austin lands on his feet and cinches in the Million Dollar Dream sleeper, which puts Marty out. This had some good moments, and Austin's look has already improved, but it didn't really get a chance to shine and the commercial interrupted the flow quite a bit. (*3/4)

It's time for a pre-taped promo from Mankind, who has a pet rat called George and rants about God not giving him all the parts he should have. I guess Vince was really fixated on the ear, huh. As usual, this was a brilliant deranged promo from Mick.

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def. Tatanka (w/Ted DiBiase) (3:23 shown)
Man, we've seen this one too many times before. Tatanka gets a jump on Taker early on, but Deadman has it pegged and applies a choke to the Native American. Undertaker then begins to unload on Tatanka, until he runs into the Papoose to Go and hits the mat. This brings out Diesel, who has an axe! He commandeers one of the ringside camera crew as we go to a break. When we come back, we can see Diesel is backstage and is using the axe to destroy Taker's casket! That's the man's home. Or at least his travel module. Back in the ring, Tatanka gets a few more licks in before running into a chokeslam, which leads to a Tombstone for three. Thanks for coming Tatanka, we haven't missed you. Just a short, meaningless match to go along with the Diesel angle. (1/2*)

Post-match, Taker realises that Diesel is turning his casket into lumber and rushes backstage for a showdown.

We end the show with more Billionaire Ted stuff; this time, it's an interview on "Larry Fling Live" and it's all very mean-spirited. I imagine there was some anticipation at the time as to what shot WWF would take next, but it's not all that interesting in hindsight.

For a live episode on the road to WrestleMania, this was a weak episode. Where the hell was Shawn or Bret to promote their match?! Thumbs down.

NEXT WEEK: Yokozuna flies solo against Owen and Bulldog!

 

[ChristianCaged]

RAW #148

Date: 26 February 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens; Cincinnati, OH (taped)
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

Don't boo our babyfaces!

Once again, Sunny is on a beach in a bikini and advises viewer discretion! What for! We're taped from Cincinnati; Vince and Jerry host as usual.

Jake Roberts def. Isaac Yankem DDS (3:32)
So the Lawler/Roberts feud is already being set up here as King HATES snakes. Total ground and pound start from Yankem as he unloads a whole wave of boring offense on Jake. It looks like Yankem has Jake's number but the DDS misses, so Jake nails him with a DDT instead and that's three. This was wretched. And we don't even get to see the snake! (DUD)

Another montage to plug the fact that The Ultimate Warrior is coming! Don't remind me.

Diesel def. Bob Holly (3:15 shown)
Man, Holly is just pure jobber material at this point. He has some energy to start but an early flurry is cut off by a big knee lift from Diesel, followed by a side slam. Yeah, this one ain't lasting long. He then hits the Bossman straddle but only gets two, and Holly fires back now with a bunch of clotheslines. Back from a break, Holly makes one last stand but Diesel nails him with a Jackknife and Sparky ain't getting up from that. Fine for a squash. (3/4*)

Post-match, it's time for some MIND GAMES. As Diesel makes his exit, we hear a BONG and the lights go out. They come back on and Undertaker is in the ring! Obviously the lights out spot becomes the norm with Takee but I can't remember them doing it in this kind of way before so that's something. Diesel heads back to the ring for a fight, but the lights go out again and Taker is gone. He then delivers a creepy message via the video wall: he'll see Diesel at WrestleMania.

Ahmed Johnson def. Shinobi (1:50)
Shinobi is the next evolution of Avatar and is another Al Snow gimmick that lasts about two minutes. At least the next one has a bit more mileage. Not much to this one, as it's just a backdrop for a Goldust phone-in, as he makes lots of lewd references to Piper's bagpipes. If it wasn't clear, Razor has now been taken off the road for a drug issue and Piper is taking his place in the Goldust feud. Ahmed Johnson levels Shinobi with a spine buster and finishes it with the Peal River Plunge. No rating here, total squash.

Another awesome Mankind promo now, as he makes the absolute most of what could be pretty campy, unserious material. Not sure why they're waiting so long to debut this guy!

Meanwhile on Superstars, Owen and Bulldog defeated Barry Horowitz and Hakushi to advance in the Tag Team Championship Tournament.

It's interview time in the ring, as Vince welcomes both Shawn and Bret to the ring to get the build for their main event at WMXII rolling. Bret gets a noticeably mixed reception compared to Shawn. They exchange some pleasantries and show mutual respect, before being interrupted by Piper, who has some news for them. But first, he has a go at the crowd for booing Bret! Well that's one way to earn sympathy for him. Anyway, the big story here is the announcement that Hitman vs. HBK will be a 60-Minute Ironman Match! And that's as big as sign as any that they weren't very confident in the card for this year's Mania. Bret and Shawn tease a bit of Tuchel-Conte action on the handshake but end up keeping it civil.

Ring the Superstar Line and pay your hard-earned cash to find out if Goldust and Piper are an item! And they had the temerity to shoot on Mean Gene.

Yokozuna def. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog (w/Jim Cornette) via DQ in a Handicap Match (4:06 shown)
Both the heels try to double-team Yoko early but they can't bring him down and Yoko gets a slam on Davey Boy. Unfortunately, he misses the charge in the corner and gets nailed with a missile dropkick from Owen. Cornette distracts the referee now, so Owen and Bulldog can team up and hit Yoko with leg drops. After a break, Owen goes high but misses a splash. But don't worry, as Vader is here and storms out to ringside. Cornette tries to hold him back, but Vader has seen enough and heads into the ring to attack Yoko. That's the DQ, as all three men in Cornette's stable gang up on Yokozuna, until Ahmed and Jake head out to the ring to fend them off. And there's your setup for the six-man tag match at Mania. Vader looks up for the fight, but thinks better of taking on an actual snake. Pretty sucky main event here but it was all about the post-match really. (1/2*)

We finish on another episode of Larry Fling Live, although this one is quite funny, mocking the ladies' shoe fiasco over in WCW, the Hogan/Savage/Liz drama and other stuff. They actually got the tone right for this one and wrote some decent gags.

Well, that show was terrible, and while the WCW satire was better tonight, I think I'd prefer Vince actually putting more effort into his product. We'll get there of course. Thumbs way down.

NEXT WEEK: Shawn and Bret warm up for WrestleMania!