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KIF's SmackDown 2003 review thread


Well-Known Member
Jun 25, 2011
The Fringe Class
SmackDown! 1/3/2003. "Mayhem & Marriage"

Brock Lesnar is back LIVE, what a huge deal. Love is also in the air as Dawn Marie and Al Wilson are set to get married. Let's do this shit.

John Cena opens the show with Bull Buchanon. Time to rap on Rikishi. I remember Cena havin' better rhythm than this but ya know he's white so I guess I'm just blind or deaf. God, these lyrics are so try hard. Cena is better without a beat. Let's get to this openin' match.

John Cena v.s Rikishi
(remember I don't do play by play reviews. I just give thoughts on the match after I watch it.)
Well that was a piss poor waste of time. It was mostly Rikishi dominatin' the match with some outside inference from Bull that was done horribly. Everyone looked out of position for what was planned. The roll up Cena used to win was terrible and 'Kish's feet were in the ropes. Happy New Year! 1/4*

Now Rikishi chases Bull and Cena through the crowd so I guess this rivalry will continue. Lame.

Wedding bells, Dawn Marie lookin' ready to get knocked up. Why does she have a mic? Cringe city. Dawn Marie claimin' she'll get married in the nude. Just go make out with Torrie Wilson some more since that is actually allowed.

Stephanie confronts Dawn backstage to have an quick out of the nudity. Cock blockin' cunt.

Chuck Palumbo v.s Bill DeMott
I want some SmackDown! six not this shit. Palumbo's strinkin' ability is quite underrated. Tazz comparin' DeMott to Warren Sapp :lmao. Pretty dull stuff until the quick finishin' sequence. It wasn't even really a sequence. So far this show is not off too a great start. 1/2*

IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT, SURRENDER WILL WIN THE FIGHT. Sorry, I just wanted to quote the So Weird theme after seein' some Taker vignette.

Kidman and Torrie backstage to hype this magical wedding. A couple shots at Dawn and Kidman doin' an Al Wilson impression. Why did Torrie settle for this clown? A backstage interview with Kurt Angle alongside Benjamin and Haas follows this. About time someone with some solid skill has shown up. Recap of last week where Angle attacked Benoit. Angle drivin' the point home that he IS wrestling. I'd take this more seriously if he wasn't feudin' with Benoit.

Eddie Guerrero v.s Billy Kidman
I really dig Kidman's theme, forgot how hype it was. Some decent action that goes nowhere because Cena and Bull show up again with better lyrics this time at least sayin' they'll soon take the tag championships from Los Guerreros. Then Rikishi stops by to get some revenge for that sloppy roll up. Okay, the match actually continues with Cena on commentary. The progression of this match was really halted by all that prior garbage. It does pick up though with some good back and forth action. Cena spittin' bars on commentary does help as well. Quick ass facebuster followed by a sloppy top rope crossbody after all the great back and forth beforehand, ugh. Cena then decides to get involved. This match was good at points but at others totally awful. *1/2

It's time for a RED wedding. Recap video with some of the lesbian tension, can't go wrong with that. Al looks like he's about to lose a couple grand at the casino. Dawn looks like a normal bride coverin' her hot body with a long ass bulky dress. The voice on this reverend, I wonder if he's a voice actor. God damn, Dawn in her bra and panties. Stephanie cock blockin' some more. :lmao fans chantin' "Keep It On" at Al after Dawn suggested he should be in the nude. This is disturbin'... I'm gonna skip the rest of this.

Team Angle v.s Chris Benoit & ???
It's the debut match of Team Angle and Chris Benoit has find a partner. The mystery partner turns out to be Edge, not bad. Team Angle are really green but I'll take a green amateur wrestler over someone like Mojo Rawley all day. Triple Germans from Benoit and Edge... Edge shouldn't do Germans. I don't think Team Angle had any offense on Benoit this entire match. And now Angle gets his team disqualified. I was expectin' more from this... hopefully Brock fixes this later. *1/2

HEYMAN! Glorifin' Team Angle's performance like it was that great. Goes on to introduce Big Show as another Heyman guy I guess. I think I can claim I'm a Heyman guy at this point. Big Show makes Heyman feel like a man... I don't know how to take that. Alright, challengin' Lesnar to face the Big Show. SHOWCASE THE BEAST! "It's my life's ambition that Brock Lesnar never gets near the WWE championship again." :side: Heyman is the greatest exaggerator and liar of all of time. The challenge turns into only one Big Show or Lesnar gets into the Rumble. Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore attack Lesnar from behind. Big Show does need the help after all yet Lesnar still stands tall. Jesus, Lesnar got the back of his head busted open badly but still shrugged everyone off. :lmao

More Dawn and Al now claimin' they'll film their entire honeymoon... Funaki feels really, really dirty. I don't blame him.

Nunzio v.s Crash Holly
I guess Jamie Noble and Nunzio are friends now. Honor among heels. The ref counts the first fall before the bell actually rings. :lmao :lmao :lmao I have no idea what that post/corner spot was. I don't think I can even explain it. This is pretty damn bad. A tornado divorce court ends the match after a bunch of sloppiness. These two are better than this. Pathetic. I honestly don't even know if I should rate this after the best move happened before the bell even rang even if the ref took it seriously.

Shannon Moore gettin' lectured in Mattitude. At least they let Matt Hardy brag about the fact he busted open Lesnar.

Brock Lesnar v.s Matt Hardy
Lesnar is still fuckin' bleedin' and didn't even bother to get into his ring gear. Note: Matt Hardy always stays awake until sunrise on New Year's. Lesnar slappin' Matt with his own blood. Lesnar just manhandled Hardy as expected. It took some Moore interference for Matt to even get some offense in this. Almost pinned Lesnar with the Twist of Fate. Well, that wasn't much of a main event but I can't complain about watchin' Lesnar destroy a Hardy. *

Big Show and Paul Heyman on the ramp to put over Show/Lesnar for who will actually get in the Rumble. Lesnar gives Matt another F-5 to end the show.

Overall: This show really didn't have much great wrestlin', even the matches with some good wrestlin' ended poorly. I expect more from next week's SmackDown!. It was a New Year's episode after all, you don't want anyone to get hurt on the road to Wrestlemania either, especially not Brock Lesnar. Just some general thoughts, let's ignore the weddin' and move on.


Well-Known Member
Jun 25, 2011
The Fringe Class
SmackDown! 1/10/2003: "Train Wreck in Tuscon"

Recap video of the week prior, I don't think I need to go over it again. They do a decent job puttin' over Lesnar's busted head though.

Time already for the openin' match.

Big Show w/Paul Heyman v.s Rikishi
Eh, I guess this could get the crowd hyped for the rest of the show... It doesn't quite do it for me. Big Show's offensive of course still looks devastatin' even on a guy the size of Rikishi. What is with 'Kishi openin' these shows? You got Beniot and Gurerrero, for fucks sake. Just to point it out A-Train is facin' Lesnar in the main event so it's not like they're savin' them for that. Back to the match, it was at least hard hittin' with a few good strikes and power moves, still mostly just a Big Show showcase. *

Paul Heyman gets on the mic after the match sayin' they'll teach him a lesson. We'll see.

Benjamin/Benoit hyped, lookin' forward to that for sure.

Time for Cena to drop them bars on Eddie Guerrero. I mean the mix of Spanish and English does make it sound much more complicated. Probably just easier to rhyme. I'm sure I could accomplish something similar.

John Cena v.s Chavo Guerrero
Savin' Cena/Eddie for a later date, I presume. Not a bad weekly show filler. Quick start from Chavo until Cena with his power gets control with the use of his power for his own beat down. B2 to gets involved to get a brawl from him and Eddie. The aggression of that short brawl makes me a little more interested in their match later tonight. Chavo with a couple of healthy nearfalls until Cena uses the ropes to get the cheap victory. Could have been worse but it never had a chance to get to another level. *1/2

Wedding recap that I'm gonna skip.

Dawn and Al's honeymoon...watchin' Dawn crawlin' across a bed seductively. I wasn't pay much attention to what she was sayin' but something about her and Al's most intimate moments. I think it's time for Al to die.

Matt Hardy v.s Kidman
Note: Matt Hardy has a heated toilet seat and likes pulp in his orange juice. Hardy lookin' like he has a point to prove to become #1 contender for the Cruiserweight championship. Kidman's resilience keeps him in the fight though. The collision Kidman had with Shannon Moore after a Shooting Star to the outside, they banged heads pretty hard. Moore causes a distraction that ends up back firin' for Kidman to pull it out. Some good exchange of their trademark moves and some nearfalls. *1/2-*3/4

Matt is furious after the match yellin' at Moore turns more of a tough lesson learned ordeal. Ends with a hug, god Matt Hardy's actin' is terrible. 10+ years before deletion was even a thing. Damn, kids.

Torrie Wilson backstage interview complainin' about that trash ass weddin'. A match is announced as the first ever Step-Mother v.s Step-Daughter match. Not worth a damn.

Tajiri v.s Jamie Noble
Tajiri is returnin' for an ankle injury and right back into the Cruiserweight fray. Some tremendous back and forth action without either tryin' to do too much. Tajiri almost taps to the Trailer Hitch, gets some revenge with the Tarantula. Followed that by some back and forth until Tajiri gets in position for his Buzzsaw Kick. Now that is a sprint that doesn't hurt anyone involved and moves on the show nicely. **

NATHAN JONES IS COMING! Gonna be fun to rip apart his career again.

Charlie Haas v.s Edge
There seems to be more matches on this show then there should be. Mostly these tags gettin' broke up apart into 4 matches. It's a little overkill and you know that means things like Benjamin/Beniot probably won't get the time it should be warranted. Beniot already out here to even the odds. So I guess we'll just transition right into Benjamin/Beniot. Some great action to start this off, not nearly as sloppy as the tag from a week ago. Haas holdin' his own for sure with a normal arsenal of suplexes. Edge tryin' to keep up in that department. Beniot stops Angle from interferin' only to take a nasty kick from Benjamin. The pacin' was really odd, I think they tried to get too much in into the time they had. Also, Haas about breaks Edge's neck with a T-bone/Exploder to conclude the match. *3/4-**

Beniot gets on the mic after that upset victory and demands his match starts next. I wonder if I predicted that or not.

Shelton Benjamin v.s Chris Benoit
Beniot tryin' to rip Benjamin's head off right from the start. Benjamin tryin' to get fancy with his suplexes almost cripplin' the Crippler in the process. Slow down, son. Now, some crisp Germans on a Benoit comeback. Much better. Angle runs back to the ring to distract the referee as Benjamin taps out then gets a quick DQ to save his little buddy. Benjamin was incredibly sloppy at times but I think it told a better story than the prior match. Or maybe I just love Benoit? Whatever. **

Benoit gets the crossface on Angle but Haas is there to save him. Angle continues the beat down with his crutch. It's been awhile since I've seen Benoit/Angle from the Rumble '03, hopefully it still holds up. I've seen the ratin' go down for a lot of others over time.

Al Wilson and Dawn Marie in the shower, okay.

Shannon Moore v.s Bill DeMott
Bill DeMott, what a time waster. Some great mat wrestling :side: Really, nothing is fuckin' happenin' in this match. As soon as some moves do happen the match is quickly over. 1/4*

Matt Hardy was on commentary for this still praisin' his fellow Mattitude Follower. Gets into the ring and it's hug time again until Hardy lays out Moore with a harsh Twist of Fate. Finally, that sappy shit doesn't belong in wrestlin'. Fuck off, Bayley.

Undertaker vignette. Pretty typical stuff, mostly footage of the Ministry days and he'll return at the Rumble. That's cool so we can that angle with Big Show and Nathan Jones soon enough.

B2 and Cena are back out here and as Cena is about the RAP, Los Guerreroes attack them from behind. The heat lives, I suppose.

B2 v.s Eddie Guerrero
Even after that attack to open this match, B2 quickly uses his power to take advantage. Eddie is doin' a good job of pretendin' to be angry about this whole thing. Bull still isn't that crisp at this point in his career with that fuckin' awful springboard closeline that never looks good. That was pretty impressive tornado backbreaker by Eddie on the larger B2. Chavo knocks Cena out with one of their tag championships and shortly after this Eddie remains in charge leadin' to a Frog Splash. Not much back and forth and Bull's offense wasn't very great. 3/4*

Oh look, Al won't wake up. The commentators just sayin' he's exhausted. I bet.

Backstage to Big Show and Heyman when A-Train barges in sayin' they can have what is left of Brock. Nobody can stand up to A-Train physically not even Big Show. Should've just took their help instead of makin' more enemies.

A-Train v.s Brock Lesnar
Damn hard-hittin' but that was pretty much expected. Now Lesnar is just throwin' A-Train like a ragdoll. It never gets old watchin' Lesnar, Beast it up. Doesn't last much longer after that, A-Train was no match for Lesnar. *

Brock gets on the mic and calls out Heyman/Show, they weren't even ready to attack him after the match. Heyman better have a damn good plan. Haha, the lesson Heyman said he'd show Brock was that he can't beat the Big Show and instead of goin' out to the arena they head to the parkin' lot. Decent heel tactics to keep the story alive. Eh, not bad.

Al Wilson is officially dead. Takin' that clown to the morgue. Stop cryin' Dawn, you fucked his brains out. Go make out with Torrie some more.

Overall: I think there was a convoluted amount of matches. Things that could have been done quicker like Moore/Hardy and less Dawn Marie/Al Wilson segments on top of that so we could have just had Benjamin/Benoit and Chavo/Cena, just have them be longer matches. The feuds are progressin' the same pretty much with the constant interference anyways. Yeah, I just want a few more minutes for certain matches which I know I am gonna get down the line.
Last edited:


Well-Known Member
Feb 25, 2012
Waiting for you to get to the Brock/Kurt Ironman. Probably the highlight of 2003. We got a ways to go


Well-Known Member
Jun 25, 2011
The Fringe Class
SmackDown! 1/16/2003 in East Rutherford, New Jersey: "In Memory Of... Toothless Aggresion"

Recap of Al Wilson dyin', not exactly gettin' me hyped for this at all. In Memory Of... A FAKE Death, how touchin'.

Dawn Marie opens the show weepin' like a bitch to sell this angle some more. Her breasts do look immaculate though. Can we call Dawn Marie a murderer? Or is that too much? I rarely think anything is too much so I'm not the best to judge that. Now we get a public viewin' of Al Wilson to continue this trash. It's weird at times what angles WWE decides to drop and the ones they decide to continue. This is some pretty classless stuff.

Edge/Benoit v.s Team Angle is scheduled for later. Pretty simple follow up bookin' but it works.

Let's get this shit goin' with some Los Guerrero action. They are the current tag team champions if I haven't stated that before in this thread. :lmao this earlier backstage interview with Eddie and Chavo arguin' which is gonna one is gonna win the Rumble bringin' up their precious Grandmother is glorious. Chavo claimin' to be better at football and Eddie claimin' to be better at basketball. They end up on the same page though and pound it out. Solid stuff. Now, another Spanglish soundin' RAP from John Cena endin' with B2 yellin' Boo Yah. The prior interview was much more enjoyable to say the least. Let's get ready for this tag team title match. First title match of this year for SmackDown!

Tag Team Title Match: Los Guerrero's (c) v.s John Cena & B2
Quick, aggressive start from them Guerrero's. Chavo with a back suplex where he almost clips Cena's head on the turnbckle. Guerrero's supposed to be the faces but still dominatin' early on with the heel tactics but of course Cena/B2 get the advantage eventually. Slowin' down the pace now but the semi-luchadores don't let it stay that way. Chavo gets caught off a plancha by his opponents until Eddie dives as well for an almost acceptable dive onto your own partner. The match ends shortly after this. Not the worst and got the job done, I guess. *3/4

Guerrero's get out of dodge and Cena yells at B2 for bein' a loser before B2 pushes down the Doctor of Thuganomics. This doesn't last long as Cena has back up from the ringside area, pretty sure it's Rodney Mack as he lays out B2. Okay... This was pretty forgettable.

A recap that should have begun the show from the Team Angle/Benoit/Edge stuff.

Benoit in an awkward black jacket talkin' about his Family :side: and all the sacrifices they made for him through all his hard work and injuries. Praises Kurt Angle like he should yet declares he'll win the belt this Sunday at the Rumble. Ends with him callin' his style toothless aggression. Alrights, good luck, dawg.

Stephanie McMahon shows herself after this hypin' the Rumble along with return of The Undertaker. Teases lettin' Show/Lesnar happen tonight but books Big Show and A-Train against Brock Lesnar and someone yet to be named. That works, I suppose. This show currently has some decent flow besides the openin' bit.

Nathan Jones talkin' about how ravaged his mind has got since bein' in prison. Great, I'm sure that translates well in the ring.

Rikishi with a very generic pre-taped interview about how he'll win the Rumble as he makes his way to the ring. Really not buyin' that as a threat of any kind. Bill DeMott appears with a microphone sayin' he has only beaten smaller guys in recent weeks and that it's time to face someone his own size. It's about time for ya to job out.

Rikishi v.s Bill DeMott
Slow, dull trash for the most part but it picks up a bit. Rikishi tryin' to make this watchable after a decent superkick. DeMott catches Rikishi goin' for the Bonzai Drop with a powerbomb and pin with the tights. Rikishi can't even go into the Rumble with a win :lmao. If this two guys weren't this size, I'd rate this even lower. 3/4*-*

Kidman and Funaki makin' fun of Mattitude and Hardy/Moore show up. Some really weak insults are thrown and they brawl backstage. Kidman and Funaki fight them off for the time bein'. Filler shit.

Nunzio v.s Tajiri
Nunzio with his buddy Jamie Noble and Nidia. Nunzio tryin' to thwart Tajiri's kicks with his mat wrestlin' and some quick reversals. I do enjoy both these workers for that matter. Nunzio should be workin' Tajiri's ankle instead of his shoulder though. Not really much of a comeback from Tajiri since it's mostly back and forth as it is. Noble tries to get involved and then Nadia tries the same only to get the green mist only for Nunzio to win with that tornado divorce court. I don't like that move as a finisher and the wrong person won in my mind. However, I did enjoy most of the action wasn't anywhere near as sloppy as Crash/Nunzio was. **

Footage of Raw's 10th Anniversary Show are shown. I'm not gonna bother goin' over what this is. It was a bunch of random nonsense.

Cena goin' off again and Josh Mathews looks odd as hell durin' this interview. It was a pretty long winded RAP that seemed quite lazy on B2.

Another Undertaker return vignette, this time playin' more of his American Bad Ass days.

Dawn Marie's public showin', this is really fuckin' soap opera-ish. Cryin' into the funeral parlor's coat. Look at this damn corpse, sure. Dawn Marie changes her tone and starts insultin' the dead man that he looked better on that gurney. She then starts cryin' again and sayin' she's gonna on carryin' on the Wilson name with pride. Thanks.

Stephanie on the phone backstage complain' at her brother about Bischoff. Raw stuff. It's quick though and doesn't go anywhere as the BEAST confronts her. Brock tells her he doesn't need a partner to face A-Train and Big Show. Clearly. Stephanie says she isn't gonna risk her investment in Brock and praises him for a good minute. Looks like he's still gonna get a partner. How Brock sounded at the end of this segment you could tell he thought this was a waste of time in general.

Now with Big Show and A-Train in the ring, it's Paul Heyman mic time. Puts over his favorite client, The Big Show and brags about him winnin' the Rumble and sure as hell won't be Lesnar. Starts spoutin' off his clients that are in the Rumble that one of has to win and Show and his friend A-Train. A-Train really didn't endear himself that well the week before to Heyman and Show at all but whatever. Comes full circle when he gets to his last client Kurt Angle facin' anyone in his group that's gonna win at Wrestlemania. Pretty standard.

Big Show & A-Train v.s Brock Lesnar & ???
Lesnar's selected partner turns out to be Rey Mysterio. That sure protects your biggest asset, Stephanie. They rush to the ring together(or more like Brock ran in first because he wanted to fight as Rey was still doin' his entrance bullshit and then awkwardly follows suit) and the bell sounds. What a fast paced start to this, it's escalatin' quickly, oh wait it's over. Yeah, A-Train got pinned in like under a minute here by Rey. Yeah, I don't know exactly know how this helps Show/Lesnar for a spot in the Rumble this Sunday. It sure as hell makes Show and Train both look extremely weak. 1/2*

Heyman yellin' at Big Show to get to the back. Yeah, you two sure need a new game plan after that. :lmao

The funeral is back and folks are mornin' with Dawn. Torrie walks up to the casket and stares down Marie... We cut to Matt Hardy's entrance. Wow, that anticipation. Note: Matt was in the academically gifted class in Elementary School. Doubtful.

Matt Hardy v.s Funaki
Fuckin' Shannon Moore's stupid ass still hangin' around with Matt. Tough love, more like he's a jobbin' slave. Kidman joins Funaki considerin' that brawl earlier. Matt dominatin' this early on. Babyface comeback from Funaki leadin' up to a devastatin' tornado reverse DDT. Hardy almost gettin' beheaded on the second rope. Some solid nearfalls throughout leadin' up to Hardy knockin' Moore off the apron gettin' the chance to hit the Twist of Fate for the victory. I just honestly didn't feel the chemistry was here but it did have some decent action. *1/2

Kidman chases Matt out of the ring savin' Funaki from anything further. Matt precedes to slap Moore on the ramp even after usin' him to win. Jobber slut.

Now, we fuckin' got Torrie cryin' her eyes out as Marie yells behind her to get her attention. Marie continues as she runs down Torrie until sayin' she killed her own Father followed by a vicious slap. Torrie returns the favor with one of her own where Dawn falls into the casket knockin' it over. Then we get some horrific to the ears screamin' from Torrie that she hates Dawn Marie. Scene concludes with Torrie over her Father as she takes a lamp to the back of the head. Better than the brawl those cruiserweights had backstage at least.

More Nathan Jones shit about his hard prison life.

Angle still with his crutch as he's flanked by his cronies. He throws it down for the match to clarify he's ready to go. We get another short Rumble pre-taped video from Edge, just another overconfident superstar speech. Nothing new.

3 on 2: Team Angle v.s Edge and Chris Benoit
Beniot and Haas start the contest. Toothless aggression on display. After some of Benoit in Angle's face to get in the ring, Angle finds away to get a cheap low blow to get his team in control. The control of Beniot doesn't last long as he can easily get out of the ring. Gets the tag to Edge who takes a short beatdown, mostly from Angle when he was down. The numbers game finally really pays off and Angle takes it to Beniot a bit before Sunday. This doesn't last long either. This match is really back and forth for sure. Sloppy bulldog from Haas. About time we get a proper babyface beatdown since this is 3 on 2. Angle gettin' a chance to mock Beniot as Edge keeps gettin' his ass kicked. Edge sure is a tag team expert... at takin' a beatin'. Chad Gable might have better hot tags though. Beniot back in killin' Team Angle like only he fuckin' can. Angle comes in with his championship only to get caught in the crossface. I guess Benoit got disqualified because he wasn't the legal man and he refused to let go of the hold. I don't really understand a handicap match havin' DQ rules but okay.

This was actually pretty awesome (especially Beniot's tenacity and just how he really didn't let either Benjamin or Haas have much offense on him). Of course, it wasn't totally crisp with some odd landings on some moves but the pacin' although at times all over the place was rather enjoyable. ***1/2

Beniot gets a hold of Angle's crutch after the match as he isn't nearly done with his American ass. He attacks Angle's leg a couple times before Benjamin and Haas pull him out of harm's way. Now, that is great way to end a show and get people invested for a big time pay-per view match.

Overall: If you know my main rule about weekly shows if it has a ***+ for free you shouldn't complain too much. So of course I'd give this above average grade and most of the other feuds delivered for what needed to be done. That Show/A-Train v.s Lesnar/Mysterio was clearly shortened because of the main event. Yeah, so that would bring some things down since Show/Lesnar (other than the Rumble itself) is the second most important match goin' into the Rumble for SD!. Oh well, I still enjoyed most of this outin' from the blue brand. Let's get to the Rumble, now.