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The Lords of Salem
Heidi, a local DJ in Salem, receives a mysterious wooden box containing a vinyl record and note saying it's a gift of the Lords. Assuming it's a new band trying to make a big splash, Heidi and her co-worker play the record, but it causes Heidi to experience odd flashbacks. Later, they play the record at the radio station and it becomes a surprise hit. Soon the town is set to host a concert by the Lords, but what nobody knows is that this is no band; it's the original Lords of Salem returning to wreak havoc on the town.
As some of you may already know, I’m not the biggest Rob Zombie fan on the planet. Actually, I pretty much despise the guy, from his shitty music to his horrendous take on the Halloween series. I once ranked his film Halloween 2 as the absolute worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life and while I’ve seen worse since, it’s still up there on the shit pile. So of course when I heard he had a new movie coming out I laughed it off and vowed never to watch it. However, I read a couple of reviews that said it represented a new chapter in the filmmakers life and so I was intrigued enough to pop it in with the idea that if it sucked after 10 minutes I’d turn it off. Well, it didn’t suck after 10, not after 30, not even after an hour and half and so I can unequivocally state that it is definitely his best film yet. Unfortunately it does sort of let the wheels fall off during the final minutes, but what comes before is a great little tale of paranoia and madness and a real throwback to the old gothic-style horror films of the 1970’s. Zombie may still be a little rough around the edges, but he’s certainly matured into a filmmaker that understands the genre he’s working in quite well. It still won’t make me give Halloween 2 a second chance, but The Lords of Salem is more than enough to make me retract my comments about wishing Rob Zombie would eat batteries until he dies a horrible death!
"Jesus definitely doesn't save this time."
Rob Zombie writes and directs this film, as he has in the past, but immediately breaks from his traditional style by getting rid of the redneck stereotypes that plagued his previous works. In fact, there is nary a redneck character in this film and that is a very good thing indeed. It’s not even that I have a problem with the stereotyped character; it’s just that I felt he relied way too heavily on them in the past. This time around, he really seems to be influenced by European cinema, keeping everything softly focused and creating a real sense of doom and gloom throughout. He also experiments with more non-traditional camera angles that harken back to some of the Italian giallo masters (Sergio Martino in particular) while also getting in some really bizarre imagery that seems more in the vein of Alejandro Jodorowsky than anything else. Clearly Zombie has been gobbling up better influences than the one’s he had been before, because the film is shot very well and certainly comes across more unique than anything he’s done in the past. His screenplay is pretty standard stuff mind you, and I’m sure it was designed with the sole purpose of putting his wife over, but it is adequate enough to tell a solid story while also providing some interesting scares.
"She sure makes one hell of a zombie, it must be in the name."
In his previous films, my biggest complaint about Zombie was his overwhelming desire to cast his totally untalented (but hot) wife in major roles. Amazingly, not only has he matured as a filmmaker, she has as an actress as well, easily giving her best performance in the lead role of Heidi. She’s still not an actress that will set the world on fire with her abilities, but at the very least she’s got this character down perfectly and really that’s all that counts. I felt she was at her best when playing the more spaced-out, pseudo-possessed version of her character and would welcome seeing her do more roles like it in the future. Meanwhile, Zombie gets some real credibility in the film by casting horror luminaries like Dee Wallace Stone (The Howling, Cujo), Meg Foster (Stepfather II, They Live), Patricia Quinn (Shock Treatment), Judy Geeson (Horror Planet), Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, Leatherface) and Maria Conchita Alonso (The Running Man, Predator 2) in small but crucial roles. He also gets a chance to cast some of his favourites like Sid Haig and Michael Berryman in bit parts, just so we know that it is indeed a Rob Zombie movie. Finally, he casts Bruce Davison (X-Men, Harry and the Hendersons) as an author who is suspicious of the intentions of “The Lords†and he proves to be a very solid addition to the film, not only lending it even more credibility but an excellent performance as well.
"I'd tell you what's happening here but then you'd probably avoid the movie like the plague."
The Lords of Salem isn’t so much a scary movie as it is an unsettling one, and a lot of that has to do with Zombie’s brave decision to pull no punches with his disgusting imagery. It takes a certain kind of madman to show such depraved acts on screen and while I don’t think they all work I definitely commend him on taking the chance in the first place. Too often these days, filmmakers seem to be obsessed with towing the line, clearly afraid to challenge the conventions of cinema. Perhaps that has more to do with their concern over getting further work or maybe they’re just a bunch of wimps? I don’t know the answer but I do know that Zombie is unlike many of the current crop of horror guys, which makes him a pretty unique commodity within the industry. Now, as I said before, the film does sort of lose itself towards the end, where Zombie just decides to be as insane as possible and create a mountain of dead bodies, but his efforts before this cannot be ignored. Unlike many horror films I’ve seen in the past few years, I found myself genuinely creeped out by some of the things on display here and would prefer never to see them again; something I consider a true sign of a strong and effective horror film. So at the end of the day, Zombie is certainly a sick bastard, but at least he’s also a distinctive one. The Lords of Salem should be required viewing for those that appreciate an individual like that, and for those that can stomach some really, really weird shit. 6.5/10.
"Tomorrow....tapes."
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