A guy I knew once told me

[Tinfoil Hat]

Have you ever heard something ridiculous from a coworker or someone? Share those stories here. I'll start.

A guy I used to work with once told us about a guy he knew that refused to buy toilet paper. He said the guy had trained his body so that he would only poop right before he would take a shower, eliminating the need for wiping as his "waste" would wash off his body in the shower. I asked him if he ever went to this person's house and he said no. "So he doesn't get visitors?", I asked, "If family visits with children do they all just agree to strip and shower when nature calls?" He had no answer as he hadn't spent any time thinking about the story he was telling us.

Maybe it was true. I would rather believe not.

 

[Lady Redfield]

I had a co-worker who told the greatest stories ever. He was an older guy, I think he was in his late 40's/early 50's. Wrinkled as fuck and was always in your 'bubble' (he stood so close to people and practically spoke in your ear for no reason). Anyway, we still to this day laugh our asses off talking about his stories. He told them like they really happened.

He used to be a cop (or so he says) and he told us so many 'cop stories'. My favorites were he and his partner were on a high speed chase and their cop car ended up not being able to turn a corner in time so they ended up in the lake. He looked at his partner and said 'swim', even though they were in the car, in the water, yet, he was somehow able to speak LMFAO, so he kicked the window open and they swam out to safety.

The next best story was when they entered a bar with Hell's Angels in it and they hit him with a baseball bat, knocking him out, and then he woke up in a hospital bed.

I am laughing as I type this.

 

[Deezy]

I grew up on a reservation, worked in forestry, oil pipefitting and construction......I've heard everything......I'd tell some, but KIF might turn it into fanfic.

 

[Vegeta]

I grew up on a reservation, worked in forestry, oil pipefitting and construction......I've heard everything......I'd tell some, but KIF might turn it into fanfic.

All the more reason to tell us.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Someone once told me Hilary would make a better President, that was quite the laugh.

 

[Deezy]

Someone once told me Hilary would make a better President, that was quite the laugh.

Wouldn't have been impeached this quickly.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Probably because she have died already on stage from exhaustion.

 

[Deezy]

Because she'd be actually working instead of crying on Twitter and holding rallies because the media is mean to him

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Cryin' over what? Fake news?

 

[Vegeta]

Cryin' over what? Fake news?

He bitch and moans when they have VIDEO proof of him doing stuff or saying something. He hates being made fun of. Dude got some thin skin my guy.

 

[Deezy]

He bitch and moans when they have VIDEO proof of him doing stuff or saying something. He hates being made fun of. Dude got some thin skin my guy.

Someone so fat shouldn't have such thin skin.

Sad.

 

[Vegeta]

Someone so fat shouldn't have such thin skin.

Sad.

Twice in a week you used this and both times it was funny.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

He's got thicker skin than GFK.

 

[Deezy]

He's got thicker skin than GFK.

Sheeeit that motherfuckers skin so thin a gust of wind would cause a cut.

 

[Vegeta]

He's got thicker skin than GFK.

That’s not saying much tho.

All I’m saying, conservatives can’t call people snowflakes when the biggest snowflake is in office. Like who fucking cares if someone makes fun of you or doesn’t like you? Who cares if SNL treats you like they did every other president and make fun of him? Anyway I’m not going anymore off topic now I’ll stop.